AOMA: UKT40 December 18, 1999 Part Two

Finish,

20 - “She’s the One/It’s Only Us,” Robbie Williams 

The boy band escape scored his second #1 with this double-sided single.  The A is a ballad dedicated to a lady who keeps him moving in the right direction.  The B is a rocker that was written for the soundtrack of the FIFA 2000 video game.  I give the nod to the B, if only for the random exclamation of “Rock Me Amadeus!”

19 - “It’s Only Rock n’Roll,” Artists for Children’s Promise
An all-star charity cover of the 1974 Stones’ classic.  Mick and Keith are here, as well as an impressive transatlantic roster that includes Annie Lennox, Bonnie Raitt, the Spice Girls, Mary J. Blige, Chrissie Hynde, and a couple dozen others.  More fun than these things usually are.  Highlights include the only time you’ll hear James Brown and Dolores O’Riordan singing together, and Iggy Pop being assigned the line about onstage suicide (he’s the only one who could make it sound light-heartedly creepy enough not to be too jarring in this context).

18 - “A Little Bit of Luck,” DJ Luck and MC Neat

At this time, a new movement in dance music known as “UK garage” was beginning to penetrate the mainstream, and the London duo of Joel Samuels and Michael Rose was one of its more successful practitioners.  Their first hit was this combination of dancehall toasting and a minimalist, bass-heavy backing track.  Not a bad first taste of this genre.

17 - “Everybody,” Progress presents The Boy Wunda 

Don’t know much about the group, but it’s a pretty basic house track.  Their Top of the Pops appearance is worth looking up.  It’s got girls dressed up as nurses.  Four of them dance, and two play violins.  And one DJ is in a straitjacket.

16 - “Steal My Sunshine,” Len

This triple Top Ten by these Torontonians is quite simply one of the best singles of the 90s.  Bubbily built on that “More More More” sample, the nonsense lyrics are sung with otherworldly bliss, and the groove is just, for lack of a better word, sunny.  Truly “a million miles of fun,”

15 - “I Try,” Macy Gray

Born Natalie McIntyre in Canton, Ohio, Gray broke through with this raspy, old-school soul number about missing someone.  She’s just remembered as a one-hit wonder at home, but what a hit.  At least in Britain she managed four more.

14 - “King of My Castle,” Wamdue Project 
Atlanta house DJ Chris Brann scored a #1 with this towering, bassy house track. It’s got flavour to go with the beats.  It does indeed rule.

13 - “If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time,” R. Kelly

Okay ballad by the super creep.  Piss off.

12 - “Every Day I Love You,” Boyzone

The other huge Irish boy band of the time had their eighth #1 with this mushball.  I half expected a wedding to spontaneously spring up around me while listening to this.

11 - “Back in My Life,” Alice Deejay 
More Dutch dance.  But this one isn’t the least bit interesting.

10 - “Kiss (When the Sun Don’t Shine),” Vengaboys

And still more dance music from the Netherlands, this time from the group best known for their enjoyment of parties.  It’s okay, but I for one noticed the little trick they did to sound naughtier than they actually are.  Slick.

9 - “Barber’s Adagio for Strings,” William Orbit

The London DJ/producer born William Wainwright had been working for almost 20 years when he found the spotlight after collaborating with Madonna on her Ray of Light album.  Shortly afterward, he had a hit with a techno/trance take on an orchestral piece written in 1936 by American composer Samuel Barber.  A well-done fusion.

8 - “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo,” Mr. Hankey

An episode of South Park where a singing, dancing lump of fecal matter brings people holiday joy eventually led to this single full of Yuletide cheer and poop jokes.  Certainly one of the Uneasiest Uneasy Riders ever.  But I will say, it’s nice to see a piece of shit not named Gary Glitter in the British Top Ten for once.

7 - “Say You’ll be Mine/Better the Devil You Know,” Steps

Formed like all legendary bands are, as the result of an ad placed by a producer in a trade publication, this three-woman, two-man pop outfit, had one of their string of hits with this two-header.  The A is sunny but bland, while the B is an updated but lesser version of a Kylie Minogue hit from nine years earlier.  Step away.

6 - “Re-Rewind (The Crowd Say Bo Selecta),” Artful Dodger

The breakthrough hit from this UK garage duo from Southampton features vocals from future solo star Craig David,  A fun, steady groove.  Oh, and “bo selecta” apparently is something to say to a DJ to praise his choice of music.  The more you know,

5 - “Two in a Million/You’re My Number One,” S Club 7

Another mixed pop group with a chunk of hit singles that extended into the 2000s, these guys and gals were formed by Spice Girls matstermind Simon Fuller, and they were launched with a Monkees-style TV series that followed their adventures in Miami.  This was their third hit.  The B has some retro charm, which gives it an edge over the cookie-cutter pop of the A.

4 - “Cognoscenti vs. Intelligentsia,” Cuban Boys

These boys were in fact British, and their big hit was this dance track that featured multiple movie clips, most notably a sped-up clip of Roger Miller yodelling from Disney’s 1973 animated Robin Hood.  That sample had been popularized earlier this year by one of the first Internet memes, “The Hampster Dance.”  A strange and beautiful artifact.

3 - “Imagine,” John Lennon 
With everyone in a pensive and reflective mood pre Y2K, it was a perfect time to put this out again, apparently.  How much more can be said about it?  It’s flawed, it’s naive, but it matters.

2 - “The Millennium Prayer,” Cliff Richard 

Sir Cliff got in on the 2000 action and scored a #1 by singing The Lord’s Prayer to the tune of “Auld Lang Syne.”  He’s no Sister Janet Mead, but the proceeds did go to Chidren’s Promise, and it raised exponentially more for that charity than “It’s Only Rock n’Roll” did.

1 - “I Have a Dream/Seasons in the Sun,” Westlife 

These guys again, covering ABBA and Terry Jacks and denying Cliff the Christmas Number One.  The A is harmless, but the B somehow makes a song I hate with the force of a billion white-hot suns even worse. Congratulations...?

There it is.  Next time...another British Christmas chart.  Why not make the season last?  See you soon.