December 1976. Northern Irish peace activists Betty Williams and Mairead Corrigan win the Nobel Peace Prize, appropriately enough for the season of hope. This also was the closing of a year in which flamboyant Brit James Hunt won the Formula One World Championship. And now, here are the results of the race for that year’s Christmas #1.
40 - “So Sad the Song,” Gladys Knight and the Pips
GK&tP were still having hits here during an American drought, including this song from the movie Pipe Dreams, an attempt to launch Knight as a film star. Can’t say anything about the movie, but the song is primo soul about breakup regret.
39 - “Don’t Make Me Wait Too Long,” Barry White
A miss at home for Barry, but a Top Twenty here for this funk-disco plea. What you expect from him, and I for one have no complaints.
38 - “Anarchy in the U.K.,” The Sex Pistols
The fiery debut single from the punk icons, coming in the wake of the infamous interview with TV host Bill Grundy, where they swore and berated him for trying to put the moves on fellow guest Siouxsie Sioux. It only charted this high, but there was so much to come in so little time.
37 - “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina,” Julie Covington
The Rock Follies star with her #1 rendition of the showpiece number from Evita. I’m still keeping my distance.
36 - “Maggie May,” Rod Stewart
A reissue of his 1971 Triple Crown triumph. Still one of rock’s most movingly bittersweet love songs.
35 - “Every Man Must Have a Dream,” Liverpool Express
This nondescript band’s second hit was an attempt at a soaring, Beatlesque anthem. It’s a fair effort, but not great.
34 - “Sing Me an Old Fashioned Song,” Billie Jo Spears
The third unlikely hit for the Texas country singer was this expression of nostalgia for old folk songs like “Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me” and “Jimmy Crack Corn.” Corny indeed.
33 - “Keep it Comin’ Love,” KC and the Sunshine Band
Another reliable model from the Casey factory. #1 in Canada, #2 in the States, and...#31 here. I agree with the Brits. It’s pretty much a phoned-in effort.
32 - “You’re More Than a Number in My Little Red Book,” The Drifters
The last hit of the soul legends’ 70s U.K. run was this snappy, old school affirmation of looking for more than temporary gratification. Masterful.
31 - “Daddy Cool,” Boney M
Our second look at the Boneys first it. You’d have to be crazy like a fool not to love it.
30 - “If Not You,” Dr. Hook
The third hit for the New Jersey band was this appreciative ballad about a woman who loves her man unconditionally. The best of the post-Medicine Show material I’ve heard, by far. And RIP to the recently passed Ray Sawyer. I wonder if you’re still wearing the eye patch wherever
you are.
29 - “You’ll Never Get to Heaven (If You Break My Heart),” The Stylistics
The U.K. release of the ‘Stics 1973 cover of a 1964 Bacharach/David number first recorded by Dionne Warwick. A great song sung by great voices. Simple equation.
28 - “Ring Out Solstice Bells,” Jethro Tull
The Blackpool boys get all festive with this nondenominational ode to the holiday season. Lots of flute, of course, along with references to mistletoe, holly, and, um, druids. It’s a pretty good representation of who Ian Anderson is as an artist.
27 - “Lost in France,” Bonnie Tyler
The Welshwoman’s first hit was this breezy pop rocker about falling in love on a French holiday. The rasp isn’t there, as it was just after this that she had her fateful vocal-nodule operation. But her voice still has plenty of character here.
26 - “Mississippi,” Pussycat
Revisiting the Dutch country-disco #1. It’s a little better on the second listen. Still, I am baffled by this mid-70s European facscination with country.
25 - “Haitian Divorce,” Steely Dan
The Dan only had two hits in Britain, and this, their only Top Twenty, wasn’t even a single at home. It could be the reggae feel that connected here, or maybe the cynical view of romances. Whatever it was, it deserved it. Clever class.
24 - “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing,” Leo Sayer
Surprisingly, Britain held their boy’s showy disco standard one place short of a Triple Crown. This deserves it much more than the one they gave it to, “When I Need You.”
23 - “Sideshow,” Barry Biggs
Our second look at Jamaican Biggs’ reggae cover of Blue Magic’s parade of lovelorn outcasts. Still a great match of song and genre.
22 - “I Wish,” Stevie Wonder
The U.K. denies a Triple Crown again, this time holding Stevie’s joyous reflection on misspent youth to #5. You nasty country!
21 - “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word,” Elton John
Another of Sir Elton’s hit piano ballads. In the middle of his pack, but it would be a crown jewel in almost anyone else’s catalogue.
In Part Two: a pensioner’s soirée, a high-tech Father Christmas, and a song named for a city that had just almost lost its football team.
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