Gloves Across the Water: U.K. Top 40 October 30, 1976 Part Two

I made it before Christmas..Yay.  And I have a ring on my finger.  Double yay.  So now, here's what I'm sure you've been salivating for, the rest of a British pop chart from 1976.  Hope it's worth it.

20 - "Love and Affection," Joan Armatrading
Born in St. Kitts in 1950, Armatrading moved to England at age 3, and began performing seriously in the late 60s.  Her first and biggest U.K. hit was this ballad about longing for companionship and romance.  Slickly produced, but still passionate.  It's sad that the first I really heard of her was when Tracy Chapman debuted and writers automatically made comparisons.  Well, they're both black women with acoustic guitars.  Not sure how much more similar they are, but music journalists would never make lazy correlations like that, would they?

19 - "Can't Get By Without You," Real Thing
An R&B group from Liverpool, these guys had broken through earlier this year with a #1 called "You to Me are Everything."  This follow-up went to #2.  It's a disco number about needing someone.  The backing track reminds me of a cross between "Love's Theme" and the theme from Hill Street Blues.  So if that sound good to you, you're set.  Also, one of their later hits was called "Can You Feel the Force."  For some reason, I think that one might be due for a revival right about now.

18 - "Jaws," Lalo Schiffrin
This Argentinian, whose real first name is Boris, started making his name composing for jazz stars like Dizzy Gillespie and Xavier Cugat, then began composing scores for film and television (his most familiar work is the iconic theme from Mission: Impossible.  Here, he takes another well known theme, the one from a certain sharkcentric blockbuster, and turns it into boilerplate disco.  The precursor to Meco and his boogie-ready Star Wars.

17 - "Couldn't Get it Right," Climax Blues Band
We encountered this cool groove rocker in America.  It hit #3 there, but only #10 at home.  It was the Brits who "couldn't get it right" in my opinion.

16 - "The Rubberband Man," The Spinners
The funk-soul classic about a guy who makes music with small pieces of elastic.  Only got this far here, #2 in the States.  2-0 to the USA.

15 - "Play That Funky Music," Wild Cherry
The one-hit wonder about a white boy getting his funk on.  #1 U.S., #7 here.  Gonna give it to the Yanks.  They pull one back.

14 - "The Best Disco in Town," The Ritchie Family
A medley of disco and soul hits by a faceless group masterminded by the guy who came up with the Village People.  Went Top Ten here, fell short of that in America.  And the U.S has drawn level!

13 - "Disco Duck," Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots
Far-from-timeless novelty about dancing like a waterfowl.  Only made it to #7 here, while topping the charts across the pond.  Britain regains the lead.

12 - "Girl of My Best Friend," Elvis Presley
The King recorded this shortly after he got out of the Army in 1960.  Wasn't released as a single, but we encountered a cover by Presley soundalike Ral Donner during our 60s sojourn.  The original got a British re-release this year, and went Top Ten.  Sorry Ral, but the genuine article blows you away.

11 - "I'll Meet You at Midnight," Smokie
From Bradford in West Yorkshire, these guys were prolific hitmakers in their homeland, with thirteen Top 40s and six Top Tens.  This bit of drama rock about a doomed romance between young Parisians Jean-Claude and Louise-Marie fell just short of the Top Ten.  Gotta say, I like this better than their most enduring (and only American) hit, "Living Next Door to Alice.'

10 - "Sailing," Rod Stewart
Originally written and performed by Scottish folk duo The Sutherland Brothers, Rod the Mod took this ballad about crossing the water to reunite with a lover to the top spot in the U.K.  Didn't even make Top 40 in America.  To me, that's game over.  Britain wins the match.

9 - "Dancing with the Captain," Paul Nicholas
From Peterborough, Nicholas spent most of his singing career performing in stage musicals, but he had a brief pop heyday in the late 70s.  His biggest U.K hit was this dance-popper about a ship whose chief officer likes to bust moves.  Disposable but fun.  Weirdly, his only American hit, the Top Ten "Heaven on the 7th Floor," only hit #40 at home.  Can't say that's wrong though

8 - "Dancing Queen," ABBA
The disco classic was a #1 here, in the States, and in 13 other countries.  Not much more I can say about it.  Pop perfection.

7 - "The Summer of My Life," Simon May
May is best known for composing music for the British soaps Crossroads and EastEnders.  One of his creations for the former was this mushy love ballad that became his only major pop hit as a performer.  Makes one long for the understated nuance of "Feelings."

6 - "Don't Take Away the Music," Tavares
This disco plea to hang on to one's tunes by these funk brothers was a Top Five here, but only hit #34 at home.  Don't hear much special in it.

5 - "Hurt," The Manhattans
Before they even cracked the American Top 40, this New Jersey vocal group had a British Top five with this ballad about promising not to reciprocate the pain a lover has caused.  Slick, smooth, sublime.

4 - "Howzat," Sherbet
This band had many hits in their native Australia, but their biggest success outside came with this pop-rocker about catching a lover cheating.  Kinda catchy.  Wouldn't have minded if it had made the radio in my neck of the woods.  I do think it's kind of odd that they later changed their name to "The Sherbs." Don't get that at all

3 - "If You Leave Me Now," Chicago
Number One here, Number One in America, terrible everywhere.  Please do go.

2 - "When Forever Has Gone," Demis Roussos
Roussos was born in Egypt in 1946, but he and his parents relocated to Greece, the land of their ancestry, after the 1956 Suez Canal crisis.  In the late 60s he saw success in Europe with the prog-rock band Aphrodite's Child, which also featured future Chariots of Fire composer Vangelis.  Upon going solo, he would score three U.K. Top Fives, including a #1 "Forever and Ever," and this #2, a waltzy ballad about long-lasting love that showcases his high, operatic voice.  That voice is unique enough to grab an Uneasy Rider.  Nine years after this, he was on board a flight that was hijacked by terrorists, but he was released safely, and would go on to live until January of this year.  RIP.

And a long time ago, in a country kind of far away, the top song was...

1 - "Mississippi," Pussycat
The phrase "Dutch country band," seems odd, but that's exactly what Pussycat were.  They were three female singers and four male musicians, and their first and biggest hit topped charts in eight countries. It's exactly what you'd expect from a European attempt at the genre; they get the lyrical motifs right, but they just can't come close to sounding authentic.  It's okay, but I'm not sure why it was so massively successful.

So there's another one.  Thanks for your patience.  I don't know when I'll be back, or what I'll be writing about, but I can tell you there will be more...someday.  Glove on heart.

The Return featuring Gloves Across The Water: UK Top 40 October 30, 1976

Hello again friends.

Yes, it's been almost a year since I was last with you, promising a new adventure.  Well, since then, I've begun another adventure.  You might even say I've been otherwise engaged.  And this is now about to culminate in another new beginning.  And so, as I've managed to find the time, I have decided to commemorate this with a look at the British charts as they looked the week a certain lovely lady I have come to know and love was born.  And so, in honor of the future Mme. Glovehead, I present to you the Top 40 songs in the United Kingdom just over 39 years ago.

40 - "I Want More," Can

Can was an experimental German band who influenced many future artists around the world, but their only pop hit outside of their native land was this dance-rocker about being adventurous.  It's kinda cool, but I really should look up the earlier stuff that made their reputation.  Not sure when that will happen though.

39 - "Fairytale," Dana

Irish singer Dana Rosemary Scallon broke through at age 19 when she sang "All Kinds of Everything" at the 1970 Eurovision Song Contest.  It won, and subsequently topped the charts both at home and in the U.K.  Her second biggest British hit was this disco track about not buying a playboy's lies.  Decent, but nothing spectacular.  She sounds here like a second-rate Olivia Newton-John.  Later, she would start preforming exclusively religious music, move to America, then return home in the late 90s to successfully run for a seat in European Parliament.

38 - "Soul Dracula," Hot Blood

Apparently, this was a studio band from France that put together a disco number that featured a vampiric-sounding dude intoning sexual come-ons while female backing singers cooed incoherently.  As weird as it sounds.  The musical equivalent of a cheap old horror movie.

37 - "Remember Yesterday," John Miles
From Jarrow on the River Tyne, Miles only hit once in America with "Slowdown," but he cracked the Top 40 four times at home.  The last of these hits was this piano ballad about leaving a lover.  It's okay, but maybe a different singer would have made it more memorable.

36 - "Substitute," The Who

This rocker about not being what one appears originally hit #5 in 1966, and this re-release ten years later reached #7.  Fantastic song, in my Who Top Five.  But it didn't chart at all in the States, in spite of the band taking the step of changing the lyric "I look all white but my dad was black" to "I try going forward but my feet walk back" for the release there.

35 - "Blinded By the Light," Manfred Mann's Earth Band

Before it hit #1 in the U.S. in February '77, this epic Springsteen cover reached #6 in the Earth Band's native land.  This just screams seventies, and I love it.  The lyrics are like Dr. Seuss on a bender, the "Chopsticks" part is silly yet satisfying, and of course, it gives one an excuse to sing the word "douche" because you can genuinely claim to believe that's what he's saying.

34 - "Tears of a Clown," Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

Back when I was doing the 70s charts, I told the story of how this was released in 1967 to no reaction, then re-released in Britain in 1970 and became a huge hit on both sides of the pond.  And here, we see that it had another brief chart run.  Not much more to say.  It's just a Motown masterpiece.

33 - "Uptown, Uptempo Woman," Randy Edelman

This New Jersey native has had most of his success as a composer of film scores (The Last of the Mohicans, The Mask, Billy Madison, and many others), and he also wrote Barry Manilow's hit "Weekend in New England."  As a performer, he managed a couple of British pop hits, including this piano ballad about the doomed romance between the titular lady and a "downtown, downbeat guy."  I like it quite a bit, and kind of wish it had gotten more attention on this side of the Atlantic

32 - "Loving and Free," Kiki Dee

From Bradford, this lady born Pauline Matthews is now best known for her smash duet with Elton John "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."  On her own, she went to #12 in the U.S, with "I've Got the Music in Me," but the highest she climbed at home was #13, which she did three times.  One of those occasions was with this ballad about recovering from a broken romance to love again.  She does fine with it, but hearing her version makes me wonder how much better Karen Carpenter would have done with it.

31 - "Aria," Acker Bilk

Somerset-born clarinetist Bilk made history in 1962 when "Stranger on the Shore" became the first U.S. Billboard #1 single by a Briton in the modern era.  Between 1960 and 1963, he made the U.K. Top Forty ten times, but didn't manage another until 13 years later with this pleasant instrumental.  Again, I have about as much to say as the song does.

30 - "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing," Leo Sayer

Disco goodness from the British Richard Simmons.  Only was #2 here, but made the top in the States.  America had it right.

 29 - "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight," England Dan and John Ford Coley

Whattaya know, England Dan actually had a hit in England.  Good for him.  As for the song, still okay MOR about wanting sex.  More erotic than "Afternoon Delight," at least.

28 - "Without You," Nilsson

Harry's big ballad charted again five years after topping the charts on both sides of the Atlantic.  Did you know that his apartment in London was where both Cass Elliot and Keith Moon died?  Well now you do.

27 - "Beautiful Noise," Neil Diamond

This is the title track to the album Neil made with Robbie Robertson of The Band, which is also how he, to the continued shock of many, ended up in The Last Waltz.  It's about finding music in the sounds of everyday life.  Jaunty and catchy, though for songs on this topic, I still prefer "I Hear Music," by Blossom Dearie.

26 - "I Only Wanna Be With You," The Bay City Rollers

The tenth and last U.K. Top Ten for these Scottish heartthrobs was this Dusty Springfield cover.  They do pretty well with it.  Better than Samantha Fox.

25 - "Coming Home," David Essex

While David Albert Cook, who took his stage name from the county in which he was born, had an American career that essentially began and ended with 1973's "Rock On," he would hit the Top 40 at home 19 times in a 21-year span.  One of his lesser hits was pop-rocker about hitting the reset button on life.  The only thing that fascinates me about this is the instrument on which the solo is played.  I'm not sure what it is.  I think it's a wind instrument...but which one?

24 - "I Am a Cider Drinker," The Wurzels

From Somerset, this band created a comedy folk genre known as "Scrumpy and Western."  1976 was their biggest year.  First, they hit #1 with "The Combine Harvester," a parody of Melanie's "Brand New Key."  Then they made it to #3 with this song about country life set to the tune of The George Baker Selection's "Una Paloma Blanca."  Basically, they were a rural, British forebear of Weird Al Yankovic.  And so I'm giving them an Uneasy Rider.

23 - "Queen of My Soul," The Average White Band

This was the fifth U.S. Top 40 for the Scots funksters, but only their third in the U.K  It's a romantic groover that would fit in on any mood-setting playlist.  Like it.

22 - "Disco Music (I Like It)," J.A.L.N. Band
More Brit-funk, this time in the form of a band from Birmingham with a horn-heavy ode to the genre that would dominate the second half of this decade.  Pretty good.  I have no idea what the initials stand for, though.

21 - "Dance Little Lady Dance," Tina Charles
Born Tina Hoskins in London's Whitechapel district (site of the Jack the Ripper murders), Charles first found fame as the singer of the disco group 5000 Volts, then she embarked on a solo career that produced seven U.K Top Forty hits, including a #1, "I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance)."  This one, a disco song about a guy who teaches her all the latest steps, reached #6.  It's okay, but we here on the other side didn't miss much.

In Part Two (which will be at least ten days away, I warn you now): sharks, Swedes, and sherbet.