The Return featuring Gloves Across The Water: UK Top 40 October 30, 1976

Hello again friends.

Yes, it's been almost a year since I was last with you, promising a new adventure.  Well, since then, I've begun another adventure.  You might even say I've been otherwise engaged.  And this is now about to culminate in another new beginning.  And so, as I've managed to find the time, I have decided to commemorate this with a look at the British charts as they looked the week a certain lovely lady I have come to know and love was born.  And so, in honor of the future Mme. Glovehead, I present to you the Top 40 songs in the United Kingdom just over 39 years ago.

40 - "I Want More," Can

Can was an experimental German band who influenced many future artists around the world, but their only pop hit outside of their native land was this dance-rocker about being adventurous.  It's kinda cool, but I really should look up the earlier stuff that made their reputation.  Not sure when that will happen though.

39 - "Fairytale," Dana

Irish singer Dana Rosemary Scallon broke through at age 19 when she sang "All Kinds of Everything" at the 1970 Eurovision Song Contest.  It won, and subsequently topped the charts both at home and in the U.K.  Her second biggest British hit was this disco track about not buying a playboy's lies.  Decent, but nothing spectacular.  She sounds here like a second-rate Olivia Newton-John.  Later, she would start preforming exclusively religious music, move to America, then return home in the late 90s to successfully run for a seat in European Parliament.

38 - "Soul Dracula," Hot Blood

Apparently, this was a studio band from France that put together a disco number that featured a vampiric-sounding dude intoning sexual come-ons while female backing singers cooed incoherently.  As weird as it sounds.  The musical equivalent of a cheap old horror movie.

37 - "Remember Yesterday," John Miles
From Jarrow on the River Tyne, Miles only hit once in America with "Slowdown," but he cracked the Top 40 four times at home.  The last of these hits was this piano ballad about leaving a lover.  It's okay, but maybe a different singer would have made it more memorable.

36 - "Substitute," The Who

This rocker about not being what one appears originally hit #5 in 1966, and this re-release ten years later reached #7.  Fantastic song, in my Who Top Five.  But it didn't chart at all in the States, in spite of the band taking the step of changing the lyric "I look all white but my dad was black" to "I try going forward but my feet walk back" for the release there.

35 - "Blinded By the Light," Manfred Mann's Earth Band

Before it hit #1 in the U.S. in February '77, this epic Springsteen cover reached #6 in the Earth Band's native land.  This just screams seventies, and I love it.  The lyrics are like Dr. Seuss on a bender, the "Chopsticks" part is silly yet satisfying, and of course, it gives one an excuse to sing the word "douche" because you can genuinely claim to believe that's what he's saying.

34 - "Tears of a Clown," Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

Back when I was doing the 70s charts, I told the story of how this was released in 1967 to no reaction, then re-released in Britain in 1970 and became a huge hit on both sides of the pond.  And here, we see that it had another brief chart run.  Not much more to say.  It's just a Motown masterpiece.

33 - "Uptown, Uptempo Woman," Randy Edelman

This New Jersey native has had most of his success as a composer of film scores (The Last of the Mohicans, The Mask, Billy Madison, and many others), and he also wrote Barry Manilow's hit "Weekend in New England."  As a performer, he managed a couple of British pop hits, including this piano ballad about the doomed romance between the titular lady and a "downtown, downbeat guy."  I like it quite a bit, and kind of wish it had gotten more attention on this side of the Atlantic

32 - "Loving and Free," Kiki Dee

From Bradford, this lady born Pauline Matthews is now best known for her smash duet with Elton John "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."  On her own, she went to #12 in the U.S, with "I've Got the Music in Me," but the highest she climbed at home was #13, which she did three times.  One of those occasions was with this ballad about recovering from a broken romance to love again.  She does fine with it, but hearing her version makes me wonder how much better Karen Carpenter would have done with it.

31 - "Aria," Acker Bilk

Somerset-born clarinetist Bilk made history in 1962 when "Stranger on the Shore" became the first U.S. Billboard #1 single by a Briton in the modern era.  Between 1960 and 1963, he made the U.K. Top Forty ten times, but didn't manage another until 13 years later with this pleasant instrumental.  Again, I have about as much to say as the song does.

30 - "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing," Leo Sayer

Disco goodness from the British Richard Simmons.  Only was #2 here, but made the top in the States.  America had it right.

 29 - "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight," England Dan and John Ford Coley

Whattaya know, England Dan actually had a hit in England.  Good for him.  As for the song, still okay MOR about wanting sex.  More erotic than "Afternoon Delight," at least.

28 - "Without You," Nilsson

Harry's big ballad charted again five years after topping the charts on both sides of the Atlantic.  Did you know that his apartment in London was where both Cass Elliot and Keith Moon died?  Well now you do.

27 - "Beautiful Noise," Neil Diamond

This is the title track to the album Neil made with Robbie Robertson of The Band, which is also how he, to the continued shock of many, ended up in The Last Waltz.  It's about finding music in the sounds of everyday life.  Jaunty and catchy, though for songs on this topic, I still prefer "I Hear Music," by Blossom Dearie.

26 - "I Only Wanna Be With You," The Bay City Rollers

The tenth and last U.K. Top Ten for these Scottish heartthrobs was this Dusty Springfield cover.  They do pretty well with it.  Better than Samantha Fox.

25 - "Coming Home," David Essex

While David Albert Cook, who took his stage name from the county in which he was born, had an American career that essentially began and ended with 1973's "Rock On," he would hit the Top 40 at home 19 times in a 21-year span.  One of his lesser hits was pop-rocker about hitting the reset button on life.  The only thing that fascinates me about this is the instrument on which the solo is played.  I'm not sure what it is.  I think it's a wind instrument...but which one?

24 - "I Am a Cider Drinker," The Wurzels

From Somerset, this band created a comedy folk genre known as "Scrumpy and Western."  1976 was their biggest year.  First, they hit #1 with "The Combine Harvester," a parody of Melanie's "Brand New Key."  Then they made it to #3 with this song about country life set to the tune of The George Baker Selection's "Una Paloma Blanca."  Basically, they were a rural, British forebear of Weird Al Yankovic.  And so I'm giving them an Uneasy Rider.

23 - "Queen of My Soul," The Average White Band

This was the fifth U.S. Top 40 for the Scots funksters, but only their third in the U.K  It's a romantic groover that would fit in on any mood-setting playlist.  Like it.

22 - "Disco Music (I Like It)," J.A.L.N. Band
More Brit-funk, this time in the form of a band from Birmingham with a horn-heavy ode to the genre that would dominate the second half of this decade.  Pretty good.  I have no idea what the initials stand for, though.

21 - "Dance Little Lady Dance," Tina Charles
Born Tina Hoskins in London's Whitechapel district (site of the Jack the Ripper murders), Charles first found fame as the singer of the disco group 5000 Volts, then she embarked on a solo career that produced seven U.K Top Forty hits, including a #1, "I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance)."  This one, a disco song about a guy who teaches her all the latest steps, reached #6.  It's okay, but we here on the other side didn't miss much.

In Part Two (which will be at least ten days away, I warn you now): sharks, Swedes, and sherbet.