https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-27-The-Old-Mans-Ultimate-Tournament-of-Uneasy-Riders-of-the-80s-Round-1--Bracket-8-ehc6vj
The new episode finishes off the first round of the OMUTURE. Three artists face themselves, and a couple of easy listening superstars have multiple entries. There are runners, walkers, and a guy who'd rather just watch. Make sense of it all on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQkENFmYDZQItPOlSz-HYeuA . Have a listen. And I am telling you you won't regret it.
Tuesday, July 28, 2020
Monday, July 27, 2020
The OMUTURE: Round 1, Part 7
Another long wait, but here are the summaries of the matchups I covered in Ep. 23.
THE KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM BOWL
"Turning Japanese," The Vapors, 1980
vs. "She Bop," Cyndi Lauper, 1984
Final Score: Turning 42, Bop 35. A high scoring affair with plenty of touchdowns. The Vapors team just seemed a little more focused. After the game, both teams had their picture taken together, but when their opponents asked to have Cyndi's team have X-rays taken and sent to them, the Boppers drew the line.
THE BARENAKED LADIES BOWL
"Centerfold," J. Geils Band, 1982
vs. "Girls, Girls, Girls, " Motley Crue, 1987
Final Score: Centrefold 31, Girls 27. Both teams played rousing football, but the difference ended up being the Geils gang's decision, inspired by Major League baseball, to just bring cardboard cutouts of their cheerleaders, so they could look but not touch. The Crue brought flesh and blood cheerleaders, and near the end of the game, they were too distracted by thoughts of scoring off the field to concentrate on putting together a game winning drive on it. They did put on quite a show in the closing seconds, but it had nothing to do with football.
THE BRICK HOUSE BOWL
"She's a Bad Mama Jama (She's Built, She's Stacked)," Carl Carlton, 1981
vs. "Da Butt," E.U., 1988
Final Score: Butt 44, Mama 10. E.U. dominated, in large part because their backfield was always in motion, but the refs never called it, and opposing coach Carlton never complained. But will the physical nature of the Butt team's end zone celebrations take its toll in the long run? Time will tell.
THE HOT TO TROT BOWL
"Sugar Walls," Sheena Easton, 1985
vs. "Me So Horny," 2 Live Crew, 1989
Final Score: Walls 28, Horny 17. The Crew came in with a lot of hype and enthusiasm, but they were worn down by halftime, after which the Walls closed in on them, surrounding them and putting the heat on them to the point where they couldn't show the stamina they had boasted about. A sweet upset for the Sugar squad.
THE SEXY SPORTS AND SHOWBIZ BOWL
"She's a Beauty," The Tubes, 1983
vs. "U Got the Look," Prince with Sheena Easton, 1987
Final Score: Look 38, Beauty 3. The Lookers drew laughter when they came out dressed more appropriately for baseball than football, but when the game kicked off, they were more than ready, slammin', jammin', and rammin' all over the field. The Tubes were tied up in knots, and it was soon clear that they only had a one in a million chance to win.
THE PRIMAL INSTINCT BOWL
"Jungle Love," The Time, 1985
vs. "Wild Thing," Tone Loc, 1989
Final Score: Wild 34, Jungle 6. The Thing team were just more adventurous, looking to score from anywhere and often succeeding. This Time has run out.
THE STEP TO HER BOWL
"Walk This Way," Run DMC and Aerosmith, 1986
vs, "Bust a Move," Young MC, 1989
Final Score: Move 38, Walk 34. Both teams had sound strategies and stylish execution, making for a close contest that was decided ided on a trick play when Harry the fullback took the handoff, then pitched back to halfback Larry, who then threw to a wide open quarterback Marvin Young in the end zone, giving the Bust boys the win over a heavily hyped dream team.
THE SEX IN DIFFERENT KINDS OF CARS BOWL II
"Talk Dirty to Me," Poison, 1987
vs. "Love in an Elevator," Aerosmith, 1989
Final Score: Elevator 30, Dirty 10. Aerosmith's vertical passing prowess proved more effective than the Poison strategy of running all over the place. After the loss, the losing team retreated to the stadium's basement and locked the door. Some speculated that this was because they were despondent, but reporters who approached the door said that it sure didn't sound that way.
THE LET'S NOT GO ALL THE WAY BOWL
"We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off," Jermaine Stewart, 1986
vs. "Keep Your Hands to Yourself," Georgia Satellites, 1987
Final Score: Hands 16, Clothes 15. There was quite a bit of hot and heavy action in the game, but neither team could go all the way, and the Satellites were intercepted three times. But then, late in the fourth quarter, there was some strange activity on the Georgia sideline that almost looked like...a wedding. Whatever it was, it unleashed enough pent up energy for the Hands team to quickly reach paydirt for the winning points. Losing coach Stewart was asked afterward if he was frustrated by his team settling for only field goals, but in between sips of cherry wine, he said no, he still had a good time.
THE EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED BOWL
"Dude (Looks Like a Lady)," Aerosmith, 1987
vs. "Funky Cold Medina," Tone Loc, 1989
Final Score: Medina 27, Dude 21. It was close, but the Funky side just seemed to have an extra kick. There is suspicion that their victory was aided by some kind of chemical substance, but whatever it is, the OMYAM Drug Testing Lab has yet to come up with a way to detect it. It's too bad. The Dude team had some pretty snazzy uniforms.
THE BRAIN OR BRAWN BOWL
"Genius of Love," Tom Tom Club. 1982
vs. "Muscles," Diana Ross, 1982
Final Score: Genius 59, Muscles 7. Diana's team was physically strong, but lacked everything else. The Tom Tom Club got in a groove early and stayed in it the whole game. The team played with a freedom that made it seem like they had just gotten out of jail.
THE PAIN IS PLEASURE BOWL
"Whip It," Devo, 1980
vs. "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)," Eurythmics, 1983
Final Score: Whip 38, Dreams 24. The Devo team was somehow to play with a loosey goosey spirited while remaining tightly disciplined. And that served them well against a tough opening opponent, who was just as happy taking punishment as delivering it. The Whip team managed to give the Dreams the slip, but the Eurythmics played well enough to be able to hold their heads up and move on.
THE LOVE FOR SALE BOWL
"Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody," David Lee Roth, 1984
vs. "Private Dancer," Tina Turner, 1985
Final Score: Gigolo 26, Dancer 10. The Roth team were more enthusiastic than the world weary Dancers, who just wanted to get the game over with. The Gigolos have a lot of fans right now, but what happens if and when the tournament goes on without them?
THE HEY GIRL BOWL
"I'm the Type of Guy," LL Cool J, 1989
vs. "Hey Ladies," Beastie Boys, 1989
Final Score: Ladies 24, Guy 17. The Boys won this physical battle delivering more hits than Sadaharu Oh. Asked about the loss, LL Cool J seemed to be more concerned about his postgame snack than the result, commenting only that "Pudding is delicious."
THE YOUR CHEATING HEART BOWL
"Nobody," Sylvia, 1982
vs. "The Rain," Oran "Juice" Jones, 1986
Final Score: Rain 38, Nobody 0. The Jones gang sat back and didn't do much in the first half, but neither did their opponents. But in the second half, the Rain brought the pain, striking hard and often, while Nobody played like a bunch of...nobodies.
THE MODEL PATIENT BOWL
"Sexual Healing," Marvin Gaye, 1983
vs. "Dress You Up," Madonna, 1985
Final Score: Healing 23, Dress 14. If this had been a fashion show, Madonna's side would have won in a walk. But in the game, the Sexual squad took the victory. Some credit their performance to their medical staff, who have a special way of treating injuries that makes their patients feel really, really good.
THE KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM BOWL
"Turning Japanese," The Vapors, 1980
vs. "She Bop," Cyndi Lauper, 1984
Final Score: Turning 42, Bop 35. A high scoring affair with plenty of touchdowns. The Vapors team just seemed a little more focused. After the game, both teams had their picture taken together, but when their opponents asked to have Cyndi's team have X-rays taken and sent to them, the Boppers drew the line.
THE BARENAKED LADIES BOWL
"Centerfold," J. Geils Band, 1982
vs. "Girls, Girls, Girls, " Motley Crue, 1987
Final Score: Centrefold 31, Girls 27. Both teams played rousing football, but the difference ended up being the Geils gang's decision, inspired by Major League baseball, to just bring cardboard cutouts of their cheerleaders, so they could look but not touch. The Crue brought flesh and blood cheerleaders, and near the end of the game, they were too distracted by thoughts of scoring off the field to concentrate on putting together a game winning drive on it. They did put on quite a show in the closing seconds, but it had nothing to do with football.
THE BRICK HOUSE BOWL
"She's a Bad Mama Jama (She's Built, She's Stacked)," Carl Carlton, 1981
vs. "Da Butt," E.U., 1988
Final Score: Butt 44, Mama 10. E.U. dominated, in large part because their backfield was always in motion, but the refs never called it, and opposing coach Carlton never complained. But will the physical nature of the Butt team's end zone celebrations take its toll in the long run? Time will tell.
THE HOT TO TROT BOWL
"Sugar Walls," Sheena Easton, 1985
vs. "Me So Horny," 2 Live Crew, 1989
Final Score: Walls 28, Horny 17. The Crew came in with a lot of hype and enthusiasm, but they were worn down by halftime, after which the Walls closed in on them, surrounding them and putting the heat on them to the point where they couldn't show the stamina they had boasted about. A sweet upset for the Sugar squad.
THE SEXY SPORTS AND SHOWBIZ BOWL
"She's a Beauty," The Tubes, 1983
vs. "U Got the Look," Prince with Sheena Easton, 1987
Final Score: Look 38, Beauty 3. The Lookers drew laughter when they came out dressed more appropriately for baseball than football, but when the game kicked off, they were more than ready, slammin', jammin', and rammin' all over the field. The Tubes were tied up in knots, and it was soon clear that they only had a one in a million chance to win.
THE PRIMAL INSTINCT BOWL
"Jungle Love," The Time, 1985
vs. "Wild Thing," Tone Loc, 1989
Final Score: Wild 34, Jungle 6. The Thing team were just more adventurous, looking to score from anywhere and often succeeding. This Time has run out.
THE STEP TO HER BOWL
"Walk This Way," Run DMC and Aerosmith, 1986
vs, "Bust a Move," Young MC, 1989
Final Score: Move 38, Walk 34. Both teams had sound strategies and stylish execution, making for a close contest that was decided ided on a trick play when Harry the fullback took the handoff, then pitched back to halfback Larry, who then threw to a wide open quarterback Marvin Young in the end zone, giving the Bust boys the win over a heavily hyped dream team.
THE SEX IN DIFFERENT KINDS OF CARS BOWL II
"Talk Dirty to Me," Poison, 1987
vs. "Love in an Elevator," Aerosmith, 1989
Final Score: Elevator 30, Dirty 10. Aerosmith's vertical passing prowess proved more effective than the Poison strategy of running all over the place. After the loss, the losing team retreated to the stadium's basement and locked the door. Some speculated that this was because they were despondent, but reporters who approached the door said that it sure didn't sound that way.
THE LET'S NOT GO ALL THE WAY BOWL
"We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off," Jermaine Stewart, 1986
vs. "Keep Your Hands to Yourself," Georgia Satellites, 1987
Final Score: Hands 16, Clothes 15. There was quite a bit of hot and heavy action in the game, but neither team could go all the way, and the Satellites were intercepted three times. But then, late in the fourth quarter, there was some strange activity on the Georgia sideline that almost looked like...a wedding. Whatever it was, it unleashed enough pent up energy for the Hands team to quickly reach paydirt for the winning points. Losing coach Stewart was asked afterward if he was frustrated by his team settling for only field goals, but in between sips of cherry wine, he said no, he still had a good time.
THE EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED BOWL
"Dude (Looks Like a Lady)," Aerosmith, 1987
vs. "Funky Cold Medina," Tone Loc, 1989
Final Score: Medina 27, Dude 21. It was close, but the Funky side just seemed to have an extra kick. There is suspicion that their victory was aided by some kind of chemical substance, but whatever it is, the OMYAM Drug Testing Lab has yet to come up with a way to detect it. It's too bad. The Dude team had some pretty snazzy uniforms.
THE BRAIN OR BRAWN BOWL
"Genius of Love," Tom Tom Club. 1982
vs. "Muscles," Diana Ross, 1982
Final Score: Genius 59, Muscles 7. Diana's team was physically strong, but lacked everything else. The Tom Tom Club got in a groove early and stayed in it the whole game. The team played with a freedom that made it seem like they had just gotten out of jail.
THE PAIN IS PLEASURE BOWL
"Whip It," Devo, 1980
vs. "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)," Eurythmics, 1983
Final Score: Whip 38, Dreams 24. The Devo team was somehow to play with a loosey goosey spirited while remaining tightly disciplined. And that served them well against a tough opening opponent, who was just as happy taking punishment as delivering it. The Whip team managed to give the Dreams the slip, but the Eurythmics played well enough to be able to hold their heads up and move on.
THE LOVE FOR SALE BOWL
"Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody," David Lee Roth, 1984
vs. "Private Dancer," Tina Turner, 1985
Final Score: Gigolo 26, Dancer 10. The Roth team were more enthusiastic than the world weary Dancers, who just wanted to get the game over with. The Gigolos have a lot of fans right now, but what happens if and when the tournament goes on without them?
THE HEY GIRL BOWL
"I'm the Type of Guy," LL Cool J, 1989
vs. "Hey Ladies," Beastie Boys, 1989
Final Score: Ladies 24, Guy 17. The Boys won this physical battle delivering more hits than Sadaharu Oh. Asked about the loss, LL Cool J seemed to be more concerned about his postgame snack than the result, commenting only that "Pudding is delicious."
THE YOUR CHEATING HEART BOWL
"Nobody," Sylvia, 1982
vs. "The Rain," Oran "Juice" Jones, 1986
Final Score: Rain 38, Nobody 0. The Jones gang sat back and didn't do much in the first half, but neither did their opponents. But in the second half, the Rain brought the pain, striking hard and often, while Nobody played like a bunch of...nobodies.
THE MODEL PATIENT BOWL
"Sexual Healing," Marvin Gaye, 1983
vs. "Dress You Up," Madonna, 1985
Final Score: Healing 23, Dress 14. If this had been a fashion show, Madonna's side would have won in a walk. But in the game, the Sexual squad took the victory. Some credit their performance to their medical staff, who have a special way of treating injuries that makes their patients feel really, really good.
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
The OMYAM Podcast Episode #26: July 24, 1970
https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-26-July-24--1970-eh29sf
New episode available now. Woodstock, Motown, Elvis, prehistoric humanoids, a hot chick on a boat, a kid and his talking flute on a (presumably different) boat, and more. YouTube has all the background: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQkD9xC5juJOXJbPeHXUuYHI . Listen while having a drink or a drive, but not both, no matter how much fun a certain band made it sound.
New episode available now. Woodstock, Motown, Elvis, prehistoric humanoids, a hot chick on a boat, a kid and his talking flute on a (presumably different) boat, and more. YouTube has all the background: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQkD9xC5juJOXJbPeHXUuYHI . Listen while having a drink or a drive, but not both, no matter how much fun a certain band made it sound.
Tuesday, July 14, 2020
The OMYAM Podcast Episode #25: Turn On, Tune In, Rock Out #1 - Motown #25: Yesterday, Today, Forever
https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-25-Turn-On--Tune-In--Rock-Out-1---Motown-25-Yesterday--Today--Forever-egohk6
This episode kicks off a new series of looks at TV specials with the Motown 25th anniversary show that has a whole lot of Smokey Robinson on it, but everybody ended up talking about Michael Jackson for some reason. Find out why by watching the show and other clips on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQliHlvVbfeoE6wcfcpR2GZK Just reach out and click the link, and the show will be there.
Tuesday, July 7, 2020
OMYAM Podcast Episode #24: July 7, 1998
https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-24-July-4--1998-egejk1
New episode up now. It's got phantoms, injuries, very large men,a building that helps sailors see, and a band that preempted the Olympics. Learn about it all on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQnwUWMy0wm3PXiQukcYh3pD. Check it out right about now. It won't let you down by missing a penalty kic or anything like that.
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