GATW: UKT40 January 12, 1974

The end, at long last.

20 - "When I Fall in Love," Donny Osmond
Heavily produced cover of the 1952 song popularized by Doris Day.  Donny's voice was starting to change, but I guess it was still working for Britain's Osmond-crazed teens.  I am not, and have never been, one of those.

19 - "Vado Via," Drupi 
This Italian, born Giampiero Anelli, sung this song in the 1973 Sanremo Music Festival (an inspiration for Eurovision, and now the Italian qualifying competition for that contest).  The song finished last, but had success internationally, including reaching the Top 20 here.  It's a pop ballad about leaving a lover (the title means "I Go Away").  His voice has a nice rasp, and the performance is passionate, but there isn't much more that overcomes the language barrier.

18 - "Truck On (Tyke)," T. Rex 
The song that broke Bolan and Co.'s streak of ten consecutive Top Fives was this bit o' glam with lyrics about space cowboys and riding dinosaurs.  The usual, but a lesser version of it.  I get why it fell short.

17 - "Why Oh Why Oh Why," Gilbert O'Sullivan 
This guy's last Top Ten was this return to feeling bad, this time about a relationship that is quickly souring.  He does the best he can, but I remain annoyed.  Perhaps that's why, Gil.

16 - "Gaudete," Steeleye Span 
The first of two hits for this London folk band was an a capella version of a Latin Christmas Carol dating back to the 16th century. The title means "Rejoice."  I like the female solo parts better than the overly British-accented choral parts.  But it all combines to form a clear Uneasy Rider.

15 - "Street Life," Roxy Music 
The band's third Top Ten was this sleek rocker about the beautiful and hopeless.  The people Bryan Ferry was born to sing about.  So good.

14 - "Paper Roses," Marie Osmond
In the midst of Osmond mania, the little sister scored her only hit with her Anita Bryant cover.  It...exists.

13 - "Roll Away the Stone," Mott the Hoople 
Mott's third and final Top Ten was this solid glammer inviting a lady to stop being lonely and come to a "rockabilly party.  I'd go if they were asking me.  Sounds like fun.

12 - "Forever," Roy Wood
Birmingham's Wood was a founding member of The Move, but when that band morphed into ELO, he started a new band, Wizzard, and also recorded on his own.  The biggest of his four solo hits was this retro-rocker about the trials of teen romance.  Very nice.  And we'll hear more from him later.

11 - "Love on a Mountaintop," Robert Knight
Tennessee soul man Knight had the original hit recording of "Everlasting Love" in 1967.  A year later, he released this tune about a Romeo and Juliet-style couple who join their own version of the Mike High Club, and six years later it found U.K. popularity thanks to the Northern Soul scene.  A very worthy reclamation project.


I have just signed an executive order to restore witty introductions to the Top Ten.  It's going to be yuuuge.  We're making Glovehead great again.

10 - "Lamplight," David Essex 
His first post-"Rock On" hit was this strutting number about wanting to spend the night.   It' s got a Dr. John vibe to it.  This makes me get how he had a big career at home.

9 - "Radar Love," Golden Earring 
Evidence of secret Dutch technology, or just a classic rock standard?  You decide.

8 - "Pool Hall Richard," Faces
This amalgamation of the Small Faces and the Jeff Beck Group (the latter represented by Rod Stewart and future Stone Ron Wood) had their last U.K. Top Ten with this blues rocker about a pool shark/ladies' man that even Rod the Mod is jealous of.  This is the kind of stuff that truly made Mr, Stewart a legend.

7 - "I Love You Love Me Love," Gary Glitter 
The second and last #1 by this creep.  No love.

6 - "Dance With the Devil," Cozy Powell 
Speaking of the Jeff Beck Group, this Gloucester man was their drummer before finding his biggest solo success with this percussive instrumental.  Great on its own, plus bonus points for inspiring the intro of Boney M.'s legendary "Rasputin."

5 - "My Coo-Ca-Choo," Alvin Stardust 
As I mentioned when we encountered Stardust in '81, this was done as a one-off by singer Peter Shelled, but when it hit here hired someone else to inhabit the persona. The song is nonsensical, lovey-dovey glam rock, catchy but inessential.

4 - "I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day," Wizzard 
The fourth hit by Roy Wood's band is this Spectorish holiday tune about snow and Santa and such.  Pretty good, and still a favorite in Britain, but it isn't even the best glam rock Christmas song of 1973, as we shall see.

3 - "The Show Must Go On,"Leo Sayer
Sayer's breakthrough hit was this circus-themed cry of frustration.  Later in the year, it would become Three Dog Night's last American Top Ten.  Leo did it better.

2 - "You Won't Find Another Fool Like Me," The New Seekers 
The second and last of this group's Number Ones (the first was the repuposed Coke jingle "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing") was this light pop song about always taking a lover back no matter what.  What they should be seeking is therapy for their self-esteem issues.

And on top way back when was...

1 - "Merry Xmas Everybody," Slade 
The Brit institution had their sixth and last #1 with what I unequivocally declare to be the greatest Christmas rock song ever.  It features a cheeky reference to Santa's weakness for adult beverages  ("Do the fairies keep him sober for the day?"), old people acting young, a cheesy but somehow cool pun on the band's name, and a burst of Yuletide optimism in the chorus  ("Look to the future now, it's only just begun.")  It doesn't skimp on the rock for the sake of sentiment, but rather finds the perfect balance.  Nothing short of classic.

And another one's gone.  But there will be more.  Join me then.

GATW: UKT40 January 12,1974 Part One

And now to the beginning of 1974.  The government of Prime Minister Edward Heath had just instituted a three-day work week to conserve electricity in the face of job action by the National Union of Mineworkers.  This lasted until March 8, after the Labour Party's Harold Wilson gained power.  When people did have the power to listen to music, this is what they were playing.

40 - "Walk Right Back," Perry Como
Mr. Relaxation's penultimate British Top 40 was this cover of a song that The Everly Brothers took to #1 here in 1961.  He blands it up and makes you want to encourage his lover to keep on walking away.

39 - "Photograph," Ringo Starr

This pop-rocker about  dwelling on lost love was co-written with George Harrison.  #1 in the States, but only #8 here.   Britain got it right.

38 - "All of My Life," Diana Ross

Miss Ross with a big cheesy wedding ballad.  She recites some of the lyrics in the middle.  Just reflective of her formula at the time.

37 - "Mind Games," John Lennon 

And classic call to strive for peace through the power of thought.  I don't think it would hurt to start putting some soul power to the Karmic wheel right about now, do you?

36 - "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," Elton John 

Maybe the best of his best.  Once again, it was up to Canada to make it the #1 it deserved to be.   Do we have to do everything for you guys?

35 - "Eye Level," Simon Park Orchestra 

This brass-heavy instrumental was originally composed for Dutch libraries, but was then recorded by British Park and Co. for the Amsterdam-set cop show Van der Valk.  Sounds more like a parade march than a scene-setter for drug busts and murders, but Britain made it a #1.  Maybe I'd get it if I'd seen the show.

34 - "Take Me High," Cliff Richard 

Sir Cliff again, this time with an uptempo pop song about longing to find solace in a lover's arms.  Sounds like the Partridge Family, but in a good way.

33 - "Keep on Truckin'," Eddie Kendricks

His only American solo #1 was his biggest hit here too, but it only hit #18.  Much too good for that.  A funk tour de force that I'may finally giving it's due.  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

32 - "Amoreuse," Kiki Dee

The first and biggest of the Eltonless hits by Bradford's Pauline Matthews was this post-coital ballad adapted from a French hit by Veronique Sanson.  Well-sung and affecting, but I can't help imagining Adele getting hold of this and just, as the kids say, slaying.

31 - "Dyna-Mite," Mud
This composition by prolific songwriters Mike Chapman and Nicky Chinn was turned down by Sweet, but then ended up the first of eleven Top Tens for another glam band.  It's your basic peppy pop-rock about a woman walks into a room and turns it into a party, but it's hooky and fun enough to stand out.

30 - "Sorrow," David Bowie

Bowie was arguably at the peak of his U.K. stardom when hereleased the LP Pin-Ups, a collection of covers of songs he liked by British artists between 1964.  This one was a 1966 hit by The Merseys, a song about being under the spell of a blue-eyed blonde.  Simple, but unmistakably Bowie.

29 - "For the Good Times," Perry Como 

Perry again, this time with his last British Top Ten, a covery of a Kris Kristofferson song made famous by Ray Price.  Better than "Walk Right Back," but still not much.

28 - "Daydreamer/Puppy Song," David Cassidy 

Although his time in The Partridge Family was wrapping up, Cassidy's star had never been brighter, particularly in Britbain.  His second day and last #1 there was double-sided. The A was a loping ballad of lost love, the B a jaunty cover of a Harry Nilsson song about longing for friendship.  The latter is definitely the one to seek out if you're not a hormonal teenage girl who somehow time traveled from 1974 London.

27 - "Vaya con Dios," Millican and Nesbitt 

Alan Millican and Tom Nesbitt, two miners from Northumberland, won the TV talent show Opportunity Knocks in 1973, and they went on to score two Top 40 hits, the first and biggest being this cover of a Spanish-flavored farewell song popularized by Les Paul and Mary Ford in 1953.  You forget it the second it's over.

26 - "Step Into Christmas," Elton John 

Sir Elton's one venture into holiday music was this trifling invitation to "hop aboard the turntable" with him.  That seems pointless and impractical.  It only reached #24 in the charts, but it's become a perennial.  Well, it's at the very least better than "Wonderful Christmas Time."

25 - "Helen Wheels," Paul McCartney and Wings 

Speaking of Macca, here he is with his song about his Land Rover.  A middling rock n'roll car song.  The man certainly coasted sometimes.

24 - "Do You Wanna Dance," Barry Blue

Ironically, this London glam rocker was born Barry Green.  The second of his five Top 40s was this okay example of the genre.  It also must be noted that it's not a cover of the oft-remade 1958 Bobby Freeman hit.  That actually might have been better.

23 - "Top of the World," Carpenters

Karen and Richard weren't quite the hit machine here that they were at home, but they had some success, and this bit of country joy was the second of their three Top Fives.  Happy beauty.

22 - "Solitaire," Andy Williams 

The veteran crooner's last Top Five was this version of a Neil Sedaka loneliness ballad.  The Carpentersecond took this to the U.S. Top Twenty a year later, and while Karen's unbeatable, ol' Andy does pretty well by this.

21 - "Let Me In," The Osmonds

Williams' former proteges were at the height of their U.K. popularity when they hit #2 with this square ballad from their Mormom-themed album The Plan.  It's only intriguing because it's a love song, but you aren't sure who it's for.

In Part Two:  more glam, more Christmas, and more Osmonds.