And so we begin our adventure in the United Kingdom. Have a crumpet, stiffen your upper lip, and join me as we go back to the week I was born and find out what was playing in the shops and the pubs back then.
40 - "Inside Looking Out," Grand Funk Railroad
The Michiganders weren't as big in the UK as they were at home, but they charted across the pond with this cover of a 1966 Animals number. Functional hard rock about wanting something or someone you can't have. Decent background music for late lazy nights.
39 - "(Come Round Here) I'm the One You Need," Smokey Robinson and The Miracles
Five years after it cracked the US Top 20, Smokey and the boys equalled that feat in Britain with this number about offering oneself as an alternative to a philanderer. More smooth Motown silk from one of their flagship acts
38 - "Snowbird," Anne Murray
The breakthrough hit by Nova Scotia's finest spread its tiny wings and flew into the U.K. charts as well. Not as high as it did at home or at the neighbors', but still, not bad for a girl from Springhill.
37 - "(You've Got Me) Dangling On a String," The Chairmen of the Board
This number about being "strung along" by a lover from General Johnson (his actual given name) and company just barely cracked the 40 in the States, but British music afficianados propelled it to the Top Five there. Upon listening, I tend to think that the Brits were more right.
36 - "Apache Dropout," The Edgar Broughton Band
Formed by brothers Edgar and Steve Broughton, these psychedelic rockers from Warwick scored their biggest pop hit with this sludgy combination of The Shadows' instrumental hit "Apache," and "Dropout Boogie," by avant-garde rock enigma Captain Beefheart. A lot of the appeal of this song comes from Edgar's vocals, which remind me of Wolfman Jack on quaaludes. 'Tis cool.
35 - "In My Chair," Status Quo
Ah, one of the bands I knew I'd come across quite a bit during this sojourn. In America, they're simply the one-hit wonders behind 1968's "Pictures of Matchstick Men." But back home, they're a rock institution. Here, they're in the midst of their transition from psychedelia to "boogie rock," and the result is this languid, bluesy crawler that contains lyrics about cars in pockets and laughing teeth. Decent enough, but clearly, it was songs other than this that built their legend.
34 - "Tomorrow Night," Atomic Rooster
These guys' name is a synonym for "radioactive cock." Frankly, I think Radioactive Cock would have been a better, if much less practical, name. But let's move on. The song is decent boogie rock, and the singer sounds a bit like Ringo Starr to me. Glad to have heard it.
33 - "Heavy Makes You Happy," Bobby Bloom
This American singer-songwriter had one major international hit as an artist with "Montego Bay," but he also managed to chart here with this version of one of his compositions that was biggest in America for the Staple Singers. Pops and co. do better with it. I still don't know what the lyrics mean, but I guess "sha na boom boom yeah," is profound in any language.
32 - "Baby Jump," Mungo Jerry
While I was always aware that Status Quo had a big career beyond "Pictures of Matchstick Men" back home, I had no idea that the guys behind the bouncy goof "In the Summertime" had multiple U.K. hits. And I was even more surprised when I heard their other British #1, which unlike it's predecessor is a grinding rocker with screeching vocals about a sexy lady with "beautiful teeth," who makes the singer have fantasies about the two of them role-playing scenes from Lolita and Lady Chatterley's Lover. Dumb fun, but I must admit hearing the line "If I see her tonight, you can bet your life I'll attack" is kinda skeevy.
31 - "It's Impossible," Perry Como
The laid-back one cracked the Top Ten on both sides of the pond with this old-school ballad. Still meh. But unlike at home, he'd hit those heights twice more here. Gotta love the Brits.
30 - "Rupert," Jackie Lee
Irishwoman Jacqueline Norah Flood had her second and last major hit with the theme song from a popular kids' show based on a comic strip that began in 1920. Just peppy, featherlight kiddie-pop about a little bear and how he has adventures with his friends Badger Bill and Tiger Lily in a place called Nutwood. Never seen the show, but I remember coming across a book during my childhood. Didn't leave much of a mark on me. But he's an instituion in England, apparently.
29 - "My Way," Frank Sinatra
Two years after hitting #27 in the U.S., Frankie went Top Five here with what became sort of his theme song in his later career, the Paul Anka-penned summation of an unapologetic life based on a 1967 French song "Comme d'habitude." It's suitably stirring, but I've gotta say, I'll always give the nod to Sid Vicious on this one. "I faced the wall, and...the wall, and did it MYEEEEEAAAAAUUGGHHYYYYY WOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
28 - "We've Only Just Begun," The Carpenters
Surprisingly, Karen and Richard's immortal wedding ballad only got this high over here. When I covered it for the Casey charts, I mentioned that I'd have to ask a hypothetical future Glovehead fiance if it could be played at our nuptials. That situation may not be so hypothetical for very much longer. And that's all I have to say about that.
27 - "Nothing Rhymed," Gilbert O' Sullivan
The Irishman picked up his first major hit with this philosophical pop song about the significance, or lack thereof, of our daily lives and actions. I think that's it. Anyway, I've gotta say I like it better than his future, bigger hits.
26 - "Las Vegas," Tony Christie
Sheffield's Christie is a big-voiced belter in the Tom Jones style, but he didn't have nearly as much success, It's decent drama-pop about a man who goes to the title town and gets hopelessly caught up in gambling. I enjoy it, but not as much as his hit from later that year, "Is This the Way to Amarillo," which would be rereleased and become a monster U.K. charttopper in 2005.
25 - "Man From Nazareth," John Paul Joans
It took me a bit to find out about this guy, and here's what I pieced together. He was a comedian from Northern England named John Davidge who later changed the spelling of his stage name to avoid confusion with Led Zeppelin's bass player. His only hit was this spoken-word retelling of the story of Jesus. It's set to a hippieish beat, but both in his voice and delivery, this reminds me a lot of Lorne Greene's 1964 U.S. #1, "Ringo." A cool little curio, delivered sincerely. Although I am puzzled by Joans' strange pronounciations of the word "love."
24 - "Home Lovin' Man," Andy Williams
The late crooner and Nelson Muntz favorite only made the Adult Contemporary charts back home with this one, but in Britain, it cracked the Top Ten. It's an old-school pop ballad about a sailor returning home to his lover. Not much to these ears.
23 - "Sunny Honey Girl," Cliff Richard
This wasn't one of the better periods for the perennial British superstar, artistically or commercially. This is just throwaway lovey-dovey fluff pop, It barely even exists.
22 - "It's Only Make Believe," Glen Campbell
I've covered the country star's cover of the Conway Twitty classic before. Still a pointless Xerox. I wish the man well healthwise, though.
21 - "It's The Same Old Song," The Weathermen
This was a pseudonym for Jonathan King, a singer and producer who would have hits under his own name and other fake ones, and also produced Genesis' first album. This cover of the Four Tops classic has a cool drum-and-violin arrangement, but the vocals are squaresville. And to top it off, he's a creep. He served seven years in prison for sexually assaulting multiple teenage boys. So fuck him.
In Part Two: a veritable menagerie, featuring ponies, apes, and swans.
