Episode #36: The Old Man's Ultimate 80s Uneasy Rider Tournament - Round 2, Part 2

https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-36-The-Old-Mans-Ultimate-80s-Uneasy-Rider-Tournament-Round-2--Part-2-ekbr37 

The tournament continues. From Bob and Doug and the Beastie Boys to Zappa and Zadora, more aspirants to the title of Ultimate Uneasy Rider of the 80s battle it out in the bubble of my imagination.  Listen to the contenders here.  This episode is many things, but illin' isn't one of them.

The OMUTURE: Round 2, Part One

The summaries of the matchups described in Episode 32.

THE 1, 2, 3, WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING FOR BOWL
"Still in Saigon," The Charlie Daniels Band, 1982
vs. "19," Paul Hardcastle, 1985

Final Score: Nineteen 44, Saigon 6. Hardcastle's squad overwhelmed the Daniels team, who seemed to be rattled every time the 19ers quarterback went to the line and called out  "Saigon! Saigon!  S-S-S-S-Saigon!"  But in spite of a relatively easy victory, the game took its toll on the winners, which casts some doubt on their ability to live up to their supporters' high expectations.

THE DON’T PUSH THE BUTTON BOWL
"99 Luftballons," Nena, 1984
vs. "Russians," Sting, 1986

Final Score: Luftballons 45, Russians 7.  Nena's team dominated because of their commitment to the air attack, especially the long bomb.  Sting's side played scared, like they just wanted to get the game overnight and go home to their kids.  Will the Luftballons be willing to do what it takes to end up on top, no matter the cost?  We'll see.

THE INHOSPITABL, The Fast team. The E ENVIRONMENTS BOWL 

"Undercover of the Night," The Rolling Stones, 1984

vs. "Look Out Any Window," Bruce Hornsby and the Range, 1988

Final Score: Night 45, Window 3. Intimidation tactics were key to the Stones' blowout win.  Whether the blue face paint and lace-and-rubber uniforms they wore were part of that intimidation is unclear, but the Range seemed to breathe easier knowing their tournament was over.

THE SLOW DOWN AND READ BOWL

"Sign o' The Times," Prince, 1987

vs. "Fast Car," Tracy Chapman, 1988

Final Score: Sign 24, Car 14.  Prince’s team played recklessly and explosively. The Fast players hung in for three quarters, but the stress of the relentless pressure finally got to them.  Signs point to the Times being a tough out.

THE HOLD MY BREATH AS I WISH FOR A BETTER COUNTRY BOWL

"For America," Jackson Browne, 1986

vs. "One," Metallica, 1989

Final Score: One 59, America 3.  Once again, the Metallica team's willingness to sacrifice life and limb for victory led to domination.  All the hope and prayer in the world couldn't change that.  Strangely, the One players to a man couldn't remember anything about the game immediately afterward.

THE NARCOTICS SUPPLY CHAIN BOWL

"Smuggler's Blues," Glenn Frey, 1985

vs, "Dr. Feelgood," Motley Crue, 1989

Final Score: Feelgood 30, Smugglers 27 (OT). This was a tough battle between two teams that know how to move the ball efficiently and get away with breaking rules.  The Feelgoods squeaked out the overtime win thanks to a timely and questionable penalty, leading to speculation that the Crue made the referees a slightly better bribery offer than Frey before the extra period.  Well, someone had to lose.

THE WELL, MAYBE RICKY COULD HAVE USED SOME EDUCATION BOWL 

"Another Brick in the Wall Part 2," Pink Floyd, 1980

vs. "18 and Life," Skid Row, 1989

Final Score: Brick 38, Life 10.  The Floyd side had youth and enthusiasm on their side, and also clearer heads, whereas the Skids were impaired and fuelled by indiscriminate rage.  How much can the Bricks build on this win? 

THE JOEL BOWL

"You're Only Human (Second Wind)," Billy Joel, 1985

vs. "We Didn't Start the Fire," Billy Joel, 1989

Final Score: Fire 42, Wind 7.  The Fire fighters blazed down the field using their extensive playbook, causing the Human players to make mistakes.  They did have a burst of energy at the end, but all it did was avoid a shutout.  But the losing team took it in stride, knowing it's not the end of the world. 

THE TALK VERSUS ACTION BOWL 

"Coward of the County," Kenny Rogers, 1980

vs, "Papa Don’t Preach," Madonna, 1986

Final Score: Coward 23, Papa 19.  Madonna’s team were bolder in the first half, taking a big lead while Kenny's crew seemed to put up little resistance.  But an injury to the County's most beloved player early in the third quarter lit a fire under them, and a furious comeback allowed them to steal the win.  But the Preachers vow to continue playing, no matter what anyone else says.

THE I GOT AROUND BOWL

"I've Never Been to Me," Charlene, 1982

vs. "To All the Girls I've Loved Before," Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias,  1984

Final Score: Never 31, Girls 17.  Both teams are known for their scoring proficiency, but it was Charlene's team's second half defense that made the difference.  The Loved ones couldn't penetrate it, because they had already blown their l...er, their stamina had run out.

THE KEEP CALM AND DON’T TOUCH THE STUDENTS BOWL

"Don’t Stand So Close to Me," The Police, 1981

vs. "Relax," Frankie Goes to Hollywood, 1985

Final Score: Relax 35, Stand 12. The Frankie offense wasn't very explosive, but their long, methodical drives always ended up going all the way, giving them a comfortable win over the Police squad, who, in spite of the game being played in the controlled environment of the OMUTURE bubble, seemed to be committed to socially distancing from the opposing end zone.

THE NEWS ON THE STREET BOWL 

"Dirty Laundry," Don Henley, 1983

vs. "Electric Avenue," Eddy Grant, 1983

Final Score: Laundry 34, Avenue 13.  Don's team won with questionable tactics and by sowing dissent among the Electric players by telling them uncorroborated negative stories about their teammates, coaches and fans.  After the game, losing coach Grant calleeir d for an extensive inquiry into the defeat, hoping to determine who is to blame in what country.

THE HIPPIES AND HOODLUMS BOWL

"The First Day of Summer," Tony Carey, 1984

vs. "Touch of Grey," The Grateful Dead, 1987

Final Score: Grey 3, Summer 0 (forfeit).  The star of Carey's team, The Kid, was never located after stealing the team bus and all their equipment after their first round win, so they could not get to the bubble to continue.  A break for the aging Dead.  But how will they get by when they actually have to play to keep going. 

THE ENDING RACISM ONE SONG AT A TIME BOWL

"Ebony and Ivory," Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, 1986

vs. "Sun City," Artists United Against Apartheid, 1986.

Final Score: City 44, Ebony 6.  The Sun squad had superior starpower and greater commitment to moving forward, so they dominated Paul and Stevie's boys, who seemed to think a positive attitude and a simplistic approach were enough.  As a side note, the Artists had a big impact on the choice of the location of the OMUTURE bubble, as they made it clear there were places they would not play.

THE DUSTY RHODES MEMORIAL BOWL

"Allentown," Billy Joel, 1983

vs. "Rain on the Scarecrow," John Cougar Mellencamp, 1986.

Final Score: Scarecrow 31, Allentown 20.  In a battle of desperate teams, Cougar's boys won with their farm-honed strength and stamina.  The defeated Allentown squad return to Pennsylvania and an uncertain future. 

THE FIRST WORLD VERSUS THE THIRD WORLD BOWL

"We Are the World," USA for Africa, 1985

vs. "Living in America," James Brown, 1986

Final Score: World 55, America 10.  It was another case of a loaded team beating up on a side with just one star.  But they may be on a collision course with another lineup full of heavy hitters.  If they clash, who will survive, and what will the winner have left for the rest of the tournament?

Stay tuned for the next second round podcast later today. 

The OMYAM Podcast Episode #35: September 28, 1986

https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-35-September-28--1986-ek16f3
This one's got a little Meat on it.  There's a bit of religion, plenty of nostalgia, some class, some sass, and a couple come-ons. And an actor tries to be a pop star, which always turns out well.  Follow on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQm6xNhwK5x50rNI7_lcGGul  You'll be happy that you stuck with this episode.

The OMYAM Podcast Episode #34: Tune In, Turn On, Rock Out #2 - The 1st Annual Rock n’Roll Sports Classic

https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-34-Tune-In--Turn-On--Rock-Out-2---The-1st-Annual-Rock-nRoll-Sports-Classic-ejm93c

This time we go back to 1978 to look at pop stars running and jumping and kicking and riding bicycles and pulling ropes.  And these are pretty big stars.  Michael Jackson, Gladys Knight, Rod Stewart, Anne Murray, Leif Garrett!  And Helen Schneider!  Yes, the Helen Schneider!  Watch along on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQlSnE6UY1fbNkeC87tKMCbe  Have a listen.  Don't make me sic Sha Na Na on you.

The OMYAM Podcast Episode #33: September 14, 1974

https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-33-September-14--1974-ejb3v4
The new episode has glam both real and fake, a song about silly love songs (not that one), and a tribute to a raspy radio man.  The YouTube playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQmiRIGgegbOMBj08T2QIlck  I cover these songs and more with expert timing.

The OMYAM Podcast Episode #32: The Old Man's Ultimate Tournament of Uneasy Riders of the 80s - Round 2, Part 1

https://anchor.fm/oldmanyellsatmusic/episodes/Episode-32-The-Old-Mans-Ultimate-Tournament-of-Uneasy-Riders-of-the-Eighties---Round-2--Part-1-eivsrh
The new episode begins the second round of the Uneasy Rider.  There are two Eagles, three Billy Joel songs, and one song that contains the word "whoring." And lots more.  Check out the songs on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDWLXjsOJPQku206PzO_mdlEzm6fWrqNP  Have a listen.  I promise not to preach to you.