The end, at long last.
20 - "When I Fall in Love," Donny Osmond
Heavily produced cover of the 1952 song popularized by Doris Day. Donny's voice was starting to change, but I guess it was still working for Britain's Osmond-crazed teens. I am not, and have never been, one of those.
19 - "Vado Via," Drupi
This Italian, born Giampiero Anelli, sung this song in the 1973 Sanremo Music Festival (an inspiration for Eurovision, and now the Italian qualifying competition for that contest). The song finished last, but had success internationally, including reaching the Top 20 here. It's a pop ballad about leaving a lover (the title means "I Go Away"). His voice has a nice rasp, and the performance is passionate, but there isn't much more that overcomes the language barrier.
18 - "Truck On (Tyke)," T. Rex
The song that broke Bolan and Co.'s streak of ten consecutive Top Fives was this bit o' glam with lyrics about space cowboys and riding dinosaurs. The usual, but a lesser version of it. I get why it fell short.
17 - "Why Oh Why Oh Why," Gilbert O'Sullivan
This guy's last Top Ten was this return to feeling bad, this time about a relationship that is quickly souring. He does the best he can, but I remain annoyed. Perhaps that's why, Gil.
16 - "Gaudete," Steeleye Span
The first of two hits for this London folk band was an a capella version of a Latin Christmas Carol dating back to the 16th century. The title means "Rejoice." I like the female solo parts better than the overly British-accented choral parts. But it all combines to form a clear Uneasy Rider.
15 - "Street Life," Roxy Music
The band's third Top Ten was this sleek rocker about the beautiful and hopeless. The people Bryan Ferry was born to sing about. So good.
14 - "Paper Roses," Marie Osmond
In the midst of Osmond mania, the little sister scored her only hit with her Anita Bryant cover. It...exists.
13 - "Roll Away the Stone," Mott the Hoople
Mott's third and final Top Ten was this solid glammer inviting a lady to stop being lonely and come to a "rockabilly party. I'd go if they were asking me. Sounds like fun.
12 - "Forever," Roy Wood
Birmingham's Wood was a founding member of The Move, but when that band morphed into ELO, he started a new band, Wizzard, and also recorded on his own. The biggest of his four solo hits was this retro-rocker about the trials of teen romance. Very nice. And we'll hear more from him later.
11 - "Love on a Mountaintop," Robert Knight
Tennessee soul man Knight had the original hit recording of "Everlasting Love" in 1967. A year later, he released this tune about a Romeo and Juliet-style couple who join their own version of the Mike High Club, and six years later it found U.K. popularity thanks to the Northern Soul scene. A very worthy reclamation project.
I have just signed an executive order to restore witty introductions to the Top Ten. It's going to be yuuuge. We're making Glovehead great again.
10 - "Lamplight," David Essex
His first post-"Rock On" hit was this strutting number about wanting to spend the night. It' s got a Dr. John vibe to it. This makes me get how he had a big career at home.
9 - "Radar Love," Golden Earring
Evidence of secret Dutch technology, or just a classic rock standard? You decide.
8 - "Pool Hall Richard," Faces
This amalgamation of the Small Faces and the Jeff Beck Group (the latter represented by Rod Stewart and future Stone Ron Wood) had their last U.K. Top Ten with this blues rocker about a pool shark/ladies' man that even Rod the Mod is jealous of. This is the kind of stuff that truly made Mr, Stewart a legend.
7 - "I Love You Love Me Love," Gary Glitter
The second and last #1 by this creep. No love.
6 - "Dance With the Devil," Cozy Powell
Speaking of the Jeff Beck Group, this Gloucester man was their drummer before finding his biggest solo success with this percussive instrumental. Great on its own, plus bonus points for inspiring the intro of Boney M.'s legendary "Rasputin."
5 - "My Coo-Ca-Choo," Alvin Stardust
As I mentioned when we encountered Stardust in '81, this was done as a one-off by singer Peter Shelled, but when it hit here hired someone else to inhabit the persona. The song is nonsensical, lovey-dovey glam rock, catchy but inessential.
4 - "I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day," Wizzard
The fourth hit by Roy Wood's band is this Spectorish holiday tune about snow and Santa and such. Pretty good, and still a favorite in Britain, but it isn't even the best glam rock Christmas song of 1973, as we shall see.
3 - "The Show Must Go On,"Leo Sayer
Sayer's breakthrough hit was this circus-themed cry of frustration. Later in the year, it would become Three Dog Night's last American Top Ten. Leo did it better.
2 - "You Won't Find Another Fool Like Me," The New Seekers
The second and last of this group's Number Ones (the first was the repuposed Coke jingle "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing") was this light pop song about always taking a lover back no matter what. What they should be seeking is therapy for their self-esteem issues.
And on top way back when was...
1 - "Merry Xmas Everybody," Slade
The Brit institution had their sixth and last #1 with what I unequivocally declare to be the greatest Christmas rock song ever. It features a cheeky reference to Santa's weakness for adult beverages ("Do the fairies keep him sober for the day?"), old people acting young, a cheesy but somehow cool pun on the band's name, and a burst of Yuletide optimism in the chorus ("Look to the future now, it's only just begun.") It doesn't skimp on the rock for the sake of sentiment, but rather finds the perfect balance. Nothing short of classic.
And another one's gone. But there will be more. Join me then.
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