The third quarter of the draw. Kids, animals, food, sports, jobs, aliens, and more.
THE PINA COLADA OR DOM PERIGNON BOWL
“Your Bulldog Drinks Champagne,” Jim Stafford, 1975
vs. “Werewolves of London,” Warren Zevon, 1978
Stafford’s #24 about an alcoholic anime versus Zevon’s #21 about British lycanthropes.
Final Score: Werewolves 34, Bulldog 28. A close contest, but in the end, prematurely dipping into the celebratory postgame bubbly started to take its toll on the Stafford squad, and Zevon’s team clawed their way to a victory. They earned their beef chow mein.
THE DID HE GET UP EARLY ENOUGH BOWL
“Tennessee Birdwalk,” Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan, 1970
vs. “Funky Worm,” The Ohio Players, 1973
A #23 country tune about defective birds meets a #15 funk tune about a truly earthy musician.
Final Score: Worm 45, Birdwalk 6. The Ohio boys just had too much funk for the grounded, directionally challenged Tennessee contingent. And much to the relief of their star player’s manager, the Worm team were indeed paid for their efforts.
THE EAT THE DISHES FOR ME BOWL
“The Candy Man,” Sammy Davis Jr., 1972
vs. “Save Your Kisses for Me,” Brotherhood of Man, 1976
The Rat Packer’s #1 about confections takes on a #27 about kiddie smooches.
Final Score: Candy 66, Kisses 0. The youthful Brotherhood were easily distracted by the wide variety of sweets offered by Davis, and they had nothing left in reserve after gorging themselves. But defeat has never tasted so satisfying and delicious.
THE JIM HENSON MEMORIAL BOWL
“Rubber Duckie,” Ernie, 1970
vs, “Rainbow Connection,” Kermit the Frog, 1979
The Muppeteer’s #16 portrayal of Bert’s roommate and his love of bath toys faces his voicing of a famous amphibian’s ode to lovers and dreamers.
Final Score: Duckie 21, Rainbow 17. An entertaining contest that was even educational at some points. In the end, Ernie’s side got the bounces, while the Rainbow team occasionally had moments where they seemed to be distracted by something they thought they saw in the sky.
THE STICK IT TO THOSE BOZOS BOWL
“School’s Out,” Alice Cooper, 1972
vs. “Send in the Clowns,” Judy Collins, 1975
A #7 about the end of education faces a #19 show tune referencing harlequins
Final Score: School 38, Clowns 3. Collins’ team played like they didn’t even show up, and they were dominated by the unleashed fury of the Cooper crew. The most notable thing about the game was the national anthem beforehand, when the colour guard was unable to locate the Stars and Stripes. Because of this, the School kids declined to stand for the anthem, saying they wouldn’t salute people who couldn’t find the flag.
THE TRUCK OFF BOWL
“Wolf Creek Pass,” C.W. McCall, 1975
vs. “Teddy Bear,” Red Sovine, 1976
A #40 about hauling poultry meets a #40 about a trucker organizing a surprise for a sick child.
Final Score: Bear 41, Wolf 37. A close battle. McCall’s team, fuelled by the unusual combination of grape soda and onion soup mix, put it all on the line to reach their desired destination of victory, but the Sovine attack was relentless, plowing through any defenses it encountered and leaving their opponents in tears, wondering how they ever even thought of denying Teddy Bear what he wanted.
THE LOVE AND DEATH IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM BOWL
“Wildfire,” Michael Murphey, 1975
vs. “Muskrat Love,” The Captain and Tennille, 1976
A #3 about a ghost and her horse versus a #4 about rodents dating and mating
Final Score: Muskrat 35, Wildfire 13. Possibly inspired by the recent death of their team’s co-founder, Susie, Sam, and the rest of their muskrat pals whirled, twirled and tangoed around their dazzled opponents. But the Murphey team seemed to be fine with losing as they rode off to some far horizon.
THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD LEADS TO A SHARK’S MOUTH BOWL
“Mr. Jaws,” Dickie Goodman, 1975
vs. “Themes from The Wizard of Oz,” Meco, 1978
The #4 about a film featuring an aggressive fish meets a #35 recording of music from a movie featuring a cowardly lion.
Final Score: Jaws 49, Wizard 2. The road ends for the Oz squad, who were unable to conjure a way to avoid having all their efforts devoured by the hungry Great Whites. Once again, we are pleased to have an exclusive postgame interview with the winning coach. Let’s hear that now:
Coach Goodman, what did you say this time to the coach of the team you just defeated?
“Goodbye, yellow brick road.”
I see. Did you have any inspiring words for your team before the game?
“You and me against the world, sometimes it feels like you and me against the world.”
Well, that clearly had a positive effect. Now that the game is over, where are your players now?
“Smokin’ in the boys’ room.”
I suppose they’ve earned that luxury after that performance. Coach, you told us what motivates your team, but what about you? What are you in this for?
“Money money money money, Money!”
All right. Before we let you go, do you have a message for your next opponents, whoever they may be?
“Come and get your love.”
And on that enigmatic note, let’s go to our next matchup.
THE BOUNCING BALLS OF VARYING SIZES BOWL
“Basketball Jones featuring Tyrone Shoelaces,” Cheech and Chong, 1973
vs. “Pinball Wizard/See Me, Feel Me,” The New Seekers, 1973
A #15 about hoops and glam rock takes on a #29 medley about disability and arcade games.
Final Score: Basketball 31, Wizard 3. Once again, the Jones team proves itself to be athletically versatile, while their opponents were limited by their lack of senses. But at some point after this game, the Seekers discovered that they could see, her and talk after all. However, they’re request for a reamatch, like that of the New Orleans Saints, was denied.
THE MAKING A WAVE WHEN YOU CAN BOWL
“The Streak,” Ray Stevens, 1974
vs. “Dynomite,” Bazuka, 1975
The #1 about public nudity versus the #10 ode to the cool kid from Good Times
Final Score: Streak 55, Dynomite 0. Again, the Stevens team opted to play without uniforms or protective equipment and as a result, the game was a blowup...I mean, blowout. Ray’s, er, streak, continues.
THE COMBAT ON LAND AND SEA BOWL
“Kung Fu Fighting,” Carl Douglas, 1974
vs. “In the Navy,” The Village People, 1979
A #1 about Asian martial arts matches up with a #3 about the nautical branch of the military.
Final Score: Fighting 38, Navy 27. A hard hitting game. The Village People were in control early, and they looked like they might torpedo Douglas’ dreams of a long run in the tournament. The Kung Fus battled back and took a four-point lead, but it looked like the Navy would get one more chance to win when the Fighters faced third and long deep in their own end late. But they handed the ball to little Sammy Chong, who took a bow, made a stand, started swinging with the hand, then made a sudden motion that froze the defence, allowing him to run all the way to the end zone for the clinching touchdown, sinking the sailors.
THE HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST TO DETAIL AN EIGHTEEN WHEELER BOWL
“Workin’ at the Car Wash Blues,” Jim Croce, 1974
vs. “The White Knight,” Cledus Maggard and the Citizen’s Band, 1976
The #32 daydream of an automobile cleaner takes on the #19 trucker trapper.
Final Score: Knight 41, Wash 13. The Citizens allowed Croce’s team to keep up early, but then they put the hammer down and came home with an easy win. The Blues’ slumped off to their locker room, took off their rubber uniforms, and dreamed of air conditioned offices.
THE WHY GO TO THEM WHEN THEY’LL COME TO US BOWL
“Space Oddity,” David Bowie, 1973
vs. “Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft,” Carpenters, 1977
A #15 about a lost astronaut meets a #32 about trying to find aliens.
Final Score: Occupants 35, Oddity 20. Both teams made some otherworldly plays, but in the end, it came down to communication. Bowie’s boys seemed out of touch with each other in the fourth quarter, while the Carpenters continued to read each other loud and clear. The Oddity coach strangely summed up his defeat after the game by saying “Planet Earth is blue, and there was nothing he could do.
THE PUT THE LIME ON THE WISH SANDWICH BOWL
“Coconut,” Harry Nilsson, 1972
vs. “Rubber Biscuit,” The Blues Brothers, 1979
A #8 about an unusual prescription faces a #37 about odd dinner options.
Final Score: Biscuit 28, Coconut 23. The Nilsson team had the same issues they had in the first game: bellyaches in the first half, which were cured at the break, allowing them to get back in the game. They had a fourth and goal with just seconds left, and they threw into the end zone. The ball deflected off the Coconut receiver, then hit a Biscuit defender and might have bounced back to the wideout. But it didn’t, going in the other direction and falling incomplete. The Biscuit ricochet didn’t come back to him, so the Coconuts were starved of the victory.
THE GROOMING IN A GALAXY FAR AWAY BOWL
“Shaving Cream,” Benny Bell, 1975
vs. “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band,” Meco, 1977
The naughty #30 fecal fake-out battles a #1 from the blockbuster space opera.
Final Score: Cream 30, Band 14. The Force wasn’t strong enough to overcome old-fashioned offence. Once again, Coach Bell of the winning side had some words after the game:
“We beat the team with that Darth Vader
Though he did unnerve us a bit,
‘Cause when he removed his big helmet
His head looked like a big lump of...shaving cream,
Be nice and clean,
Shave every day and you’ll always look keen.
THE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE LITTLE ONES BOWL
“Saturday Morning Confusion,” Bobby Russell, 1971
vs. “Short People,” Randy Newman, 1978
A #28 about a harried father versus a #2 about not liking persons of a certain height.
Final Score: Confusion 17, People 16. This was a close one. Both coaches seemed to spend the entire game acting annoyed with their players. The difference, most analysts agree, was that Russell actually loved his charges, so when it came down to the end, they played for him. Newman, in contrast, really didn’t want to be around his players, which is way they came up a bit shirt.
Another quarter done. Next time, back to Britain. See you then.
Tuesday, January 29, 2019
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
AOMA: UKT40 January 14, 1984 Part Two
The top of the top.
20 - “Many Rivers to Cross,” UB40
Another hit from their Labour of Love covers album, this one of a 1969 Jimmy Cliff reggae standard about struggling with hopelessness about one’s situation. I really ought to hear the original. This is nice, but the song promises more than this version delivers.
19 - “Bird of Paradise,” Snowy White
Devon native Terence White spent much of his career as a hired-gun guitarist, most notably on multiple Pink Floyd tours. He was also a member of Thin Lizzy in the early 80s, and it was shortly after leaving them that he scored his one big solo hit, this Dire Straits-y Brit-blues ballad. It’s just kind of there, and it ends up more of a guitar showcase than a good pop song.
18 - “That’s Livin’ Alright,” Joe Fagin
Fagin was 43 when he got his one big commercial success with this theme to the sitcom Auf Weidersehen, Pet, which followed seven English construction workers going to Düsseldorf, Germany to find employment. It’s an exuberant pub-rock singalong depicting a life of working all day and carousing all night with alcohol and local women, while still remembering to send money to the wife waiting back home. It’s all very English, and that foreignness to my ears is probably a large part of its charm.
17 - “Let’s Stay Together,” Tina Turner
This Al Green cover, produced by Ian Marsh and Martyn Ware of Heaven 17, gave Capitol Records the confidence to let Tina do a whole album for them, and her remarkable comeback was on. This isn’t as good as the original, but that’s a stratospheric bar to clear. This is a class performance that basically shouted “Remember me?” We’re all better off for this existing.
16 - “Uptown Girl,” Billy Joel
Only Britain took this all the way to #1. I’ve grown to prefer genuine Four Seasons by a long shot to this.
15 - “Straight Ahead,” Kool and the Gang
Another one from their 80s pop period. More happy, inspirational funk-lite. The formula followed to a T.
14 - “Rat Rapping,” Roland Rat
The creation of puppeteer David Claridge, Roland Rat was a television sensation in the mid-80s, hosting a multitude of morning programs. This being Britain, the character soon began making records, the biggest being this hip-hop homage that features Roland rhyming about his success and attempting to start a dance craze based around scratching fleas, to the delight of his most ardent fan, Kevin the Gerbil. Yeah. Well, at least I didn’t have to hunt for this chart’s Uneasy Rider.
13 - “A Rockin’ Good Way (To Mess Around and Fall in Love),” Shakin’ Stevens and Bonnie Tyler
Shaky again, this time joined by the Welsh powerhouse on a cover of a 1960 hit by Dinah Washington and Brook Benton. Unlike “Cry Just a Little Bit,” the slick production neuters what could be a fun rave-up. A more traditional setting might have given Bonnie room to really belt, and really, if you’re not gonna ask her to do that, why would you bring her n?
12 - “Thriller,” Michael Jackson
MJ’s ode to the pleasures of fright films. Written by Brit Rod Temperton. All of it, including the Vincent Price monologue. In a way, I think the video spoiled it. It was enough of a thrill on its own.
11 - “My Oh My,” Slade
Their first Top Five in almost a decade was this singalong, let’s-all-come-together power ballad. Not nearly as brilliant as “Run Runaway,” but a solid late addition to the hit pile.
10 - “Only You,” The Flying Pickets
The recent Christmas Number One was an a capella cover of Yazoo’s #2 ballad of the previous year, recorded by a group of fringe theatre actors. None of them are Alison Moyet, which is a big disadvantage, but it’s a nice version all the same, and different enough to deserve existence.
9 - “Hold Me Now,” Thompson Twins
The first Top Five for the three non-identical non-siblings was this striking pop song about lovers overcoming disagreements. Catchy, well-crafted, and extremely relatable.
8 - “Islands in the Stream,” Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton
Named for an Ernest Hemingway novel, this was originally written by the Bee Gees for Marvin Gaye, but it ended up in the hands of two country superstars. Another Triple Crown denied by Britain, and I’m on board with that. The voices just don’t work for me. I think Marvin might have done better.
7 - “Victims,” Culture Club
This piano ballad wasn’t released in North America, but it became their fifth Top Five here. It’s a song about a turbulent romance, inspired by George’s clandestine relationship with drummer Jon Moss. Not one of my favourites, but still very strong.
6 - “Relax,” Frankie Goes to Hollywood
We’ve covered this infamous, incomparable dance-pop bit of sex advice before, but this is an important week in the song’s history. It had been in the charts for two months, and had just managed to sneak into the Top 40. But on January 5, they performed it on Top of the Pops, and viewers responded by launching it into the Top Ten. Then on January 11, Radio One DJ Mike Read made a big show of pulling the “obscene” record off the air, vowing to never play it again. That pushed it up to #2 the next week, and a five-week run at the top and several more months on the chart followed. It’s one of the greatest examples of well-manipulated outrage ever.
5 - “Love of the Common People,” Paul Young
Young’s third hit was this cover of.a song first recorded by The Four Preps in 1967. The slick production may clash with the song’s theme of surviving poverty through faith and love, but Young gives it his all in the vocal, so it half-succeeds.
4 - “Tell Her About It,” Billy Joel
His Motown tribute was #1 at home, Top Five here. I like it much better that “Uptown Girl.” He seems more invested here.
3 - “Marguerita Time,” Status Quo
Our latest Quo encounter is with this country-pop sleepwalk about drowning the memories of a failed romance in rum-based beverages. This is what coasting in your name sounds like.
2 - “What is Love,” Howard Jones
HoJo’s biggest hit here. Fine synthpop about romantic doubt. I still feel his overall career is underrated.
1 - “Pipes of Peace,” Paul McCartney
Macca’s only true solo #1 was this bland, preachy anti-war pop song, accompanied by a video depicting the 1914 Christmas truce during World War I. It’s even more cloyingly Pollyanna than “Ebony and Ivory.” At least that had Stevie to help the medicine go down. This is Paul trying to be John and getting it entirely wrong.
Another one down. Next time, we return to the tournament. Forget the Super Bowl, these are the games that matter. See you then.
20 - “Many Rivers to Cross,” UB40
Another hit from their Labour of Love covers album, this one of a 1969 Jimmy Cliff reggae standard about struggling with hopelessness about one’s situation. I really ought to hear the original. This is nice, but the song promises more than this version delivers.
19 - “Bird of Paradise,” Snowy White
Devon native Terence White spent much of his career as a hired-gun guitarist, most notably on multiple Pink Floyd tours. He was also a member of Thin Lizzy in the early 80s, and it was shortly after leaving them that he scored his one big solo hit, this Dire Straits-y Brit-blues ballad. It’s just kind of there, and it ends up more of a guitar showcase than a good pop song.
18 - “That’s Livin’ Alright,” Joe Fagin
Fagin was 43 when he got his one big commercial success with this theme to the sitcom Auf Weidersehen, Pet, which followed seven English construction workers going to Düsseldorf, Germany to find employment. It’s an exuberant pub-rock singalong depicting a life of working all day and carousing all night with alcohol and local women, while still remembering to send money to the wife waiting back home. It’s all very English, and that foreignness to my ears is probably a large part of its charm.
17 - “Let’s Stay Together,” Tina Turner
This Al Green cover, produced by Ian Marsh and Martyn Ware of Heaven 17, gave Capitol Records the confidence to let Tina do a whole album for them, and her remarkable comeback was on. This isn’t as good as the original, but that’s a stratospheric bar to clear. This is a class performance that basically shouted “Remember me?” We’re all better off for this existing.
16 - “Uptown Girl,” Billy Joel
Only Britain took this all the way to #1. I’ve grown to prefer genuine Four Seasons by a long shot to this.
15 - “Straight Ahead,” Kool and the Gang
Another one from their 80s pop period. More happy, inspirational funk-lite. The formula followed to a T.
14 - “Rat Rapping,” Roland Rat
The creation of puppeteer David Claridge, Roland Rat was a television sensation in the mid-80s, hosting a multitude of morning programs. This being Britain, the character soon began making records, the biggest being this hip-hop homage that features Roland rhyming about his success and attempting to start a dance craze based around scratching fleas, to the delight of his most ardent fan, Kevin the Gerbil. Yeah. Well, at least I didn’t have to hunt for this chart’s Uneasy Rider.
13 - “A Rockin’ Good Way (To Mess Around and Fall in Love),” Shakin’ Stevens and Bonnie Tyler
Shaky again, this time joined by the Welsh powerhouse on a cover of a 1960 hit by Dinah Washington and Brook Benton. Unlike “Cry Just a Little Bit,” the slick production neuters what could be a fun rave-up. A more traditional setting might have given Bonnie room to really belt, and really, if you’re not gonna ask her to do that, why would you bring her n?
12 - “Thriller,” Michael Jackson
MJ’s ode to the pleasures of fright films. Written by Brit Rod Temperton. All of it, including the Vincent Price monologue. In a way, I think the video spoiled it. It was enough of a thrill on its own.
11 - “My Oh My,” Slade
Their first Top Five in almost a decade was this singalong, let’s-all-come-together power ballad. Not nearly as brilliant as “Run Runaway,” but a solid late addition to the hit pile.
10 - “Only You,” The Flying Pickets
The recent Christmas Number One was an a capella cover of Yazoo’s #2 ballad of the previous year, recorded by a group of fringe theatre actors. None of them are Alison Moyet, which is a big disadvantage, but it’s a nice version all the same, and different enough to deserve existence.
9 - “Hold Me Now,” Thompson Twins
The first Top Five for the three non-identical non-siblings was this striking pop song about lovers overcoming disagreements. Catchy, well-crafted, and extremely relatable.
8 - “Islands in the Stream,” Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton
Named for an Ernest Hemingway novel, this was originally written by the Bee Gees for Marvin Gaye, but it ended up in the hands of two country superstars. Another Triple Crown denied by Britain, and I’m on board with that. The voices just don’t work for me. I think Marvin might have done better.
7 - “Victims,” Culture Club
This piano ballad wasn’t released in North America, but it became their fifth Top Five here. It’s a song about a turbulent romance, inspired by George’s clandestine relationship with drummer Jon Moss. Not one of my favourites, but still very strong.
6 - “Relax,” Frankie Goes to Hollywood
We’ve covered this infamous, incomparable dance-pop bit of sex advice before, but this is an important week in the song’s history. It had been in the charts for two months, and had just managed to sneak into the Top 40. But on January 5, they performed it on Top of the Pops, and viewers responded by launching it into the Top Ten. Then on January 11, Radio One DJ Mike Read made a big show of pulling the “obscene” record off the air, vowing to never play it again. That pushed it up to #2 the next week, and a five-week run at the top and several more months on the chart followed. It’s one of the greatest examples of well-manipulated outrage ever.
5 - “Love of the Common People,” Paul Young
Young’s third hit was this cover of.a song first recorded by The Four Preps in 1967. The slick production may clash with the song’s theme of surviving poverty through faith and love, but Young gives it his all in the vocal, so it half-succeeds.
4 - “Tell Her About It,” Billy Joel
His Motown tribute was #1 at home, Top Five here. I like it much better that “Uptown Girl.” He seems more invested here.
3 - “Marguerita Time,” Status Quo
Our latest Quo encounter is with this country-pop sleepwalk about drowning the memories of a failed romance in rum-based beverages. This is what coasting in your name sounds like.
2 - “What is Love,” Howard Jones
HoJo’s biggest hit here. Fine synthpop about romantic doubt. I still feel his overall career is underrated.
1 - “Pipes of Peace,” Paul McCartney
Macca’s only true solo #1 was this bland, preachy anti-war pop song, accompanied by a video depicting the 1914 Christmas truce during World War I. It’s even more cloyingly Pollyanna than “Ebony and Ivory.” At least that had Stevie to help the medicine go down. This is Paul trying to be John and getting it entirely wrong.
Another one down. Next time, we return to the tournament. Forget the Super Bowl, these are the games that matter. See you then.
Thursday, January 17, 2019
AOMA: UKT40 January 14, 1984 Part One
January 1984. One of the big stories of this month was a certain song being banned by a certain radio station. We will encounter that song on this chart, but it’ll be a while, so enjoy the ride until then.
40 - “Give Me More Time,” Whitesnake
40 - “Give Me More Time,” Whitesnake
The sixth hit for the Coverdale gang is this serviceable rocker from Slide it In, the album that ultimately served as a bridge between their raw past and their slick future. You can hear more polish, but it’s not drenched in synths like their American breakthrough hits are.
39 - “Where is My Man,” Eartha Kitt
Born in 1927 in the confusingly named town of North, South Carolina, Eartha Mae Keith became a barrier-breaking sex symbol in the 50s, known for her husky singing voice on songs like “C’est Si Bon” and the holiday standard “Santa Baby.” Her career took a hit after anti-Vietnam remarks she made in the presence of President Johnson and his wife in 1968, but she recovered to once again be an acclaimed star on cabaret stage and Broadway. Here, she even took a turn as a dance diva on this disco-funk number with a theme similar to both “Santa Baby” and “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.” Her voice comes off more cartoony than sexy in some places, but the attitude is enough to sell it. She even does a more-than-credible job of rapping. All in all, a fun effort from the only true Catwoman, an honor she shares with Lee Merriwether and Julie Newmar.
38 - “I Am What I Am,” Gloria Gaynor
The sixth and last British hit for the “I Will Survive” star was this strident call for people to be their true selves at all times, which was written for the musical version of the 1978 French film La Cage aux Folles (later remade in English as The Birdcage with Robin Williams). It’s similar territory to her biggest hit, but she makes it its own chapter of the story rather than a rehash.
37 - “That’s All,” Genesis
This bouncy popper about a hot-and-cold relationship became the ‘Sis’ first Top Ten in America. Here and in Canada it was held to Top Twenty. I think all three placings are appropriate in total.
36 - “Wishful Thinking,” China Crisis
The only Top Ten for the Merseyside men was this midtempo ballad about not being able to change the past. I think that’s it. A nice new wave pop song. Nothing more or less.
35 - “Karma Chameleon,” Culture Club
George and the other Boys with their Triple Crown dip into American soul, with a little echo of New Orleans Zydeco. These guys had a string of six or seven singles that could be put up against anyone else’s best run and be competitive every time.
George and the other Boys with their Triple Crown dip into American soul, with a little echo of New Orleans Zydeco. These guys had a string of six or seven singles that could be put up against anyone else’s best run and be competitive every time.
34 - “Read ‘Em And Weep,” Barry Manilow
Barry performs a Jim Steinman number, produced by Steinman himself. Only two years earlier, Steinman had produced a version for Meat Loaf himself. I haven’t heard Meat’s take, but Barry just isn’t capable of the mix of bombast and bitterness this requires. I think this team could work if Jim had written something specifically for Barry, but this is just too awkward a fit.
33 - “Say Say Say,” Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
Once again, I am stunned by a song missing the Triple Crown by one place. And more stunned that Britain threw up the block. It’s not great, but it’s not the limp mush that “The Girl is Mine” was, so I truly can’t believe that the Macca/Jacko combo couldn’t go all the way.
32 - “King of Pain,” The Police
Only #17 here, but #3 in the States and #1 in Canada. I give us credit for that. It’s catchy pop, but it also captures how depression and loneliest can feel like a whirlwind surrounding you even when you’re staying still.
31 - “Calling Your Name,” Marilyn
Jamaica-born, Hertfordshire-raises Peter Robinson was a former roommate of Boy George, and he shared George’s penchant for makeup and androgynous clothes. Naturally, the trend-hopping music industry scooped Marilyn up once Culture Club hit, and his debut single, this energetic New Waver, cracked the Top Five. It’s okay, but Marilyn is little more than an adequate singer rather than the transcendent vocal talent his friend/rival George is. Marilyn had two more lesser hits, but then he faded into the sort of obscurity where “Where are They Now” pieces are done about you and occasionally writers and filmmakers want to talk to you because of your active yet peripheral role in a memorable sociocultural scene.
Jamaica-born, Hertfordshire-raises Peter Robinson was a former roommate of Boy George, and he shared George’s penchant for makeup and androgynous clothes. Naturally, the trend-hopping music industry scooped Marilyn up once Culture Club hit, and his debut single, this energetic New Waver, cracked the Top Five. It’s okay, but Marilyn is little more than an adequate singer rather than the transcendent vocal talent his friend/rival George is. Marilyn had two more lesser hits, but then he faded into the sort of obscurity where “Where are They Now” pieces are done about you and occasionally writers and filmmakers want to talk to you because of your active yet peripheral role in a memorable sociocultural scene.
30- “I Can Help,” Elvis Presley
Another posthumous Elvis single, this time a cover of Billy Swan’s 1974 country crossover smash. It’s done okay, in the King’s Vegas-era style, but it doesn’t do anything to make me forget the wonderfully stuttery original.
29 - “Cry Just a Little Bit,” Shakin’ Stevens
Shaky’s sixth Top Five sees him embracing more modern pop production. Probably not coincidentally, this was his only single to crack the Hot 100 in America. And I have to say it’s my favourite of his. The synths complement his usual heartbreak CD-ROM.
28 - “Love is a Wonderful Colour,” The Icicle Works
These Liverpudlians are the rare group that had one Top 40 in Britain and one Top 40 in America...with different songs. They went to #15 with this ABC-ish track about wanting to fall in love regardless of how it turns out. I like it quite a bit, and I think I’ll give it a slight edge over their U.S. hit: the darker, more Tears for Fears-y “Whisper to a Scream (Birds Fly).”
27 - “Club Fantastic Megamix,” Wham!
George and Andrew’s fifth hit was a mashup of three tracks from their debut album that hadn’t been released as singles, including a cover of the Miracles’ 1975 smash “Love Machine.” That part’s not bad, but the other two snippets don’t stand out. And given that they had already put out four songs from an album that contained eight in total, this seemed a bit counterproductive. But cash cows are to be milked bone dry, I guess.
26 - “Please Don’t Fall in Love,” Cliff Richard
Sir Cliff is inescapable. He brings a strong performance to this ballad about hoping that one’s ex doesn’t get serious with someone new, and it worked well enough to earn him another Top Ten to throw on the pile. Better than I expected.
25 - “2000 Miles,” Pretenders
This pretty, poignant elegy for the band’s guitarist James Honeyman-Scott, who had died a year earlier from a drug overdose, makes multiple references to Christmas, and that, combined with the fact that it came out near the end of a year, has made it a staple of radio stations’ annual all-holiday playlists in November and December. And I’m glad for that, as it provides a nice respite from the hoary old chestnuts and superstar festive cash-ins.
24 - “The Way You Are,” Tears for Fears
The Bath band’s fourth hit was this jagged, big-beated number about the futility of it all. The band have since said it’s the worst thing they ever did, and I’m inclined to agree. It’s ambitious noise, but noise all the same.
23 - “Sweet Surrender,” Rod Stewart
Roddy is not so rowdy on this surprisingly good country ballad about giving your heart to someone who isn’t quite willing to reciprocate. He even manages to sing a potentially cheeky line like “You’ve sucked me in, don’t spit me out” completely straight. Good to hear a little oasis of sincerity among the plastic of his 80s output.
Roddy is not so rowdy on this surprisingly good country ballad about giving your heart to someone who isn’t quite willing to reciprocate. He even manages to sing a potentially cheeky line like “You’ve sucked me in, don’t spit me out” completely straight. Good to hear a little oasis of sincerity among the plastic of his 80s output.
22 - “Running with the Night,” Lionel Richie
Liomel’s third solo Top Ten was this dance-rocker about a couple surrendering to the possibilities of life in the late evening. I think it gets a little lost because it was released between the monsters that were “All Night Long” and “Hello,” but it’s a solid pop gem in it’s own right.
21 - “Move Over Darling,” Tracey Ullman
The third and last Top Ten for the singer/comedienne was this cover of the title song from a 1963 Doris Day film about a woman who was presumed dead who returns home to find her husband has married another woman. It’s another charming retro performance, but it can’t top “They Don’t Know.”
In Part Two: TV, booze, and double-dippers.
The third and last Top Ten for the singer/comedienne was this cover of the title song from a 1963 Doris Day film about a woman who was presumed dead who returns home to find her husband has married another woman. It’s another charming retro performance, but it can’t top “They Don’t Know.”
In Part Two: TV, booze, and double-dippers.
Monday, January 14, 2019
The OMUSURT: Round Two, Part 2
The second round for the second quarter of the draw. Sex! Drugs! Death! Religion! I can’t wait any longer, let’s get to the action.
THE CRASH AND SHOOT BOWL
“D.O.A.,” Bloodrock, 1971
vs. “Saturday Night Special,” Lynyrd Skynyrd, 1975
The Texans #36 depiction of a horrific plane crash faces the Florida band’s #27 chronicle of the dangers of easily accessible firearms.
Final Score: D.O.A. 38, Special 24. Skynyrd came out gunning, but the Bloodrock gang put it all out there and got the win. They didn’t look so good afterward, so one wonders if they’ll be able to recover sufficiently to put up a fight in the next round.
THE GOD WHAT DID THEY DO BOWL
“Timothy,” The Buoys, 1971
vs. “Run Joey Run,” David Geddes, 1975
The #17 about having a friend for dinner meets the #4 about paternal rage turning tragic
Final Score: Timothy 55, Joey 6. The Buoys club once again showed their ravenous hunger for victory, and the Geddes running game just wasn’t fast enough. Apparently, there were one or two players on the losing side who were unaccounted for after the game, and they still haven’t been found.
THE MIDWESTERN MURDER BOWL
“Indiana Wants Me,” R. Dean Taylor, 1970
vs. “The Night Chicago Died,” Paper Lace, 1974
A #5 story about a fugitive from the Hoosier State takes on a #1 about mob warfare in the Windy City.
Final Score: Chicago 31, Indiana 17. Once again, it was Paper Lace winning on the strength of their greater firepower. Taylor’s team went down fighting, but they had no choice but to surrender. They will be returning home after all.
THE RADIO TOWER BOWL
“Alone Again (Naturally),” Gilbert O’Sullivan, 1972
vs. “Angie Baby,” Helen Reddy, 1974
Gil’s #1 about a suicidal man matches up with Helen’s charttopper about a boy who disappears, possibly into a radio.
Final Score: Angie 74, Alone 0. There were no mysterious PA shenanigans this time. Gilbert’s glum group were pretty succeptible to the simplest of suggestion. One feels that Helen’s team has yet to truly unleash the craziness they are capable of.
THE HALLELUJAH BOWL
“Amazing Grace,” The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, 1972
vs. “The Lord’s Prayer,” Sister Janet Mead, 1974
Bagpipers who made it to #11 with an old hymn versus a nun who got to #4 by setting the most famous Christian prayer to music.
Final Score: Lord 24, Grace 23. A tougher matchup this time for Sister Janet, as the Dragoon’s military precision had the edge for much of the game. But the Prayer team pulled off the comeback when they brought a player off the bench late, someone from South Bend, Indiana who goes by the name of “Touchdown Jesus.” Our Lady and her fighting, er, Australians move on.
THE CHRISTIAN HEAD SHOP BOWL
“Superstar,” Murray Head, 1970
vs. “Jesus is Just Alright,” The Doobie Brothers, 1972
A #14 musical theatre number about the Son of Man takes on a #35 tune about how the Saviour is a cool guy.
Final Score: Superstar 45, Alright 0. Another stellar performance for Murray and his disciples. Their opponents seemed to give them a little too much respect. But though critics were harsh in their appraisal of the Doobies’ effort, they apparently don’t care now what they say.
THE BOBBY AND MARILYN WHO DIDN’T HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH EACH OTHER BOWL
“One Day at a Time,” Marilyn Sellars, 1974
vs. “Gotta Serve Somebody,” Bob Dylan, 1979
Sellars #37 song about slow and steady faith meets Bobby’s #24 urging decisiveness about which spiritual master to follow.
Final Score: Serve 28, Time 14. It was close for much of the game, but eventually the sheer depth of Dylan’s squad won out. They seemed to be able to bring in a new player on every down. One play it might be a businessman, the next play it might be a construction worker, the next it may be the heavyweight champion of the world. But all of them, at least on this day, had clearly decided to serve their coach, regardless if they called him Terry, Timmy, Bobby, Zimmy, R.J., or Ray.
THE YOU BETTER CALL SOMEBODY BOWL
“(Don’t Worry) If There’s a Hell Below We’re All Going to Go,” Curtis Mayfield, 1970
vs. “Operator,” The Manhattan Transfer, 1975
The #29 soul song about the road to damnation takes on a #22 about a telecommunication line to salvation.
Final Score: Hell 3, Operator 0 (forfeit). Mayfield’s pregame speech to his team was loud enough to reverberate through the entire stadium, and it was so intimidating that their opponents decided not to take the field, instead picking up the telephone and asking for information on how to get as far away from there as possible as quickly as possible.
THE BIG ASS BOWL
“The Bertha Butt Boogie,” The Jimmy Castor Bunch, 1975
vs. “Fat Bottomed Girls,” Queen, 1978
#16 funk about prehistoric posteriors versus #24 rock about bountiful booties.
Final Score: Bertha 34, Girls 17. The extra depth provided by Luther, Leroy, and the Troglodyte gave the Castor Bunch the edge. There was an unusually high level of goodwill after the game. The Queen team asked the Butt Sisters if they could go home with them, and they accepted enthusiastically, with a mysterious promise to “sock it to them.”
THE IT CAME UPON ME LIKE A TIDAL WAVE BOWL
“Cat Scratch Fever,” Ted Nugent, 1977
vs. “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” Meat Loaf, 1978
The Nuge’s #30 that’s not about felines faces Meat’s #39 that isn’t about baseball.
Final Score: Paradise 42, Cat 6. The Meat Loaf squad was determined to reach their goal, and they easily trounced an opponent stricken by illness. Those kids really make things happen out there.
THE MAKE LOVE AND WAR BOWL
“Spill the Wine,” Eric Burdon and War, 1970
vs. “Love to Love You Baby,” Donna Summer, 1976
A #3 rock reverie matches up with a #2 disco sex simulation.
Final Score: Wine 31, Love 3. Donna’s team were worn out from their efforts in the first round, and the Burdon team was able to wrap things up with plenty of time to spare. In fact, during the fourth quarter, their starters weren’t even paying attention, instead just lying in the sideline grass and dreaming.
THE WOULD YOU PUT THIS IN FOR ME BOWL
“Telephone Man,” Meri Wilson, 1977
vs. “If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold it Against Me,” The Bellamy Brothers, 1979
Wilson’s #16 euphemism meets the Bellamys #39 pun.
Final Score: Telephone 52, Body 10. Wilson’s team dominated. They seemed to be in action all over the field, and sometimes all over the entire stadium. They were scoring at will. After the game, the Bellamys had a message to their fans, telling them either to remain loyal or to give them hugs.
THE INDECENT PROPOSALS BOWL
“Lady Marmalade,” Labelle, 1975
vs. “Lucille,” Kenny Rogers, 1977
The #1 about prostitution faces a #5 about non-commercial adultery.
Final Score: Marmalade 23, Lucille 20. Kenny’s team held out as long as they could, and they had a fourth and goal on the LaBelle three yard line with time for one more play. They were about to kick a chip shot field goal to force overtime, but Patti went up to Kenny and said, “Hey Joe, wanna give it a go?” He immediately decided to put the offense back on the field to go for the win. Their big running back looked like he would score the winning TD, but he fumbled the ball at the one. As he trudged dejectedly off the field, he was heard to mutter,”You picked a fine time to leave me, loose ball.”
THE NEEDLE IN A...WAIT, I DON’T THINK THAT’S A STACK OF HAY BOWL
“King Heroin,” James Brown, 1972
vs. “Wildwood Weed,” Jim Stafford, 1974
The #40 sung in the voice of the opioid itself versus the #7 about hicks who stumble upon cannabis.
Final Score: Heroin 56, Weed 7. Stafford’s men appeared relaxed as they took the field, but Brown’s boys methodically and brutally reduced them to defeated shells of their former selves. Bizarrely, the Wildwoods seemed desperately lost when the game ended, as if they needed the beating to continue.
THE RUNNING OFF TO DO SOME STUFF THAT WOULD SHOCK THE FOLKS BACK HOME BOWL
“Walk on the Wild Side,” Lou Reed, 1973
vs. “Say, Has Anybody Seen My Sweet Gypsy Rose,” Tony Orlando and Dawn, 1973
A #16 song about the seedy side of New York versus a #3 about innocence lost via exotic dancing.
Final Score: Wild 31, Rose 21. The Orlando team let it all hang out and thought they were prepared for anything, but the Reed squad had some shocking tricks that they couldn’t cope with. Even worse, the Gypsies head cheerleader, Mary Jo, defected to the Wild Side.
THE HI. YEAH, I GUESS THEY ARE BOWL
“Earache My Eye Featuring Alice Bowie,” Cheech and Chong, 1974
vs. “Ariel,” Dean Friedman, 1977
A #9 about androgynous rockers and the lazy teens who love them takes on a #26 about bohemian romance.
Final Score: Alice 38, Ariel 17. Again, it took the Earache side a little extreme motivation to get going. But once they did, they whipped some ass. Friedman’s team didn’t seem bothered by the loss, and they got back in their VW vans right after the game to return to their life of music, love, and smokeable substances.
Next time, we go back to Britain for a new year. See you then.
THE CRASH AND SHOOT BOWL
“D.O.A.,” Bloodrock, 1971
vs. “Saturday Night Special,” Lynyrd Skynyrd, 1975
The Texans #36 depiction of a horrific plane crash faces the Florida band’s #27 chronicle of the dangers of easily accessible firearms.
Final Score: D.O.A. 38, Special 24. Skynyrd came out gunning, but the Bloodrock gang put it all out there and got the win. They didn’t look so good afterward, so one wonders if they’ll be able to recover sufficiently to put up a fight in the next round.
THE GOD WHAT DID THEY DO BOWL
“Timothy,” The Buoys, 1971
vs. “Run Joey Run,” David Geddes, 1975
The #17 about having a friend for dinner meets the #4 about paternal rage turning tragic
Final Score: Timothy 55, Joey 6. The Buoys club once again showed their ravenous hunger for victory, and the Geddes running game just wasn’t fast enough. Apparently, there were one or two players on the losing side who were unaccounted for after the game, and they still haven’t been found.
THE MIDWESTERN MURDER BOWL
“Indiana Wants Me,” R. Dean Taylor, 1970
vs. “The Night Chicago Died,” Paper Lace, 1974
A #5 story about a fugitive from the Hoosier State takes on a #1 about mob warfare in the Windy City.
Final Score: Chicago 31, Indiana 17. Once again, it was Paper Lace winning on the strength of their greater firepower. Taylor’s team went down fighting, but they had no choice but to surrender. They will be returning home after all.
THE RADIO TOWER BOWL
“Alone Again (Naturally),” Gilbert O’Sullivan, 1972
vs. “Angie Baby,” Helen Reddy, 1974
Gil’s #1 about a suicidal man matches up with Helen’s charttopper about a boy who disappears, possibly into a radio.
Final Score: Angie 74, Alone 0. There were no mysterious PA shenanigans this time. Gilbert’s glum group were pretty succeptible to the simplest of suggestion. One feels that Helen’s team has yet to truly unleash the craziness they are capable of.
THE HALLELUJAH BOWL
“Amazing Grace,” The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, 1972
vs. “The Lord’s Prayer,” Sister Janet Mead, 1974
Bagpipers who made it to #11 with an old hymn versus a nun who got to #4 by setting the most famous Christian prayer to music.
Final Score: Lord 24, Grace 23. A tougher matchup this time for Sister Janet, as the Dragoon’s military precision had the edge for much of the game. But the Prayer team pulled off the comeback when they brought a player off the bench late, someone from South Bend, Indiana who goes by the name of “Touchdown Jesus.” Our Lady and her fighting, er, Australians move on.
THE CHRISTIAN HEAD SHOP BOWL
“Superstar,” Murray Head, 1970
vs. “Jesus is Just Alright,” The Doobie Brothers, 1972
A #14 musical theatre number about the Son of Man takes on a #35 tune about how the Saviour is a cool guy.
Final Score: Superstar 45, Alright 0. Another stellar performance for Murray and his disciples. Their opponents seemed to give them a little too much respect. But though critics were harsh in their appraisal of the Doobies’ effort, they apparently don’t care now what they say.
THE BOBBY AND MARILYN WHO DIDN’T HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH EACH OTHER BOWL
“One Day at a Time,” Marilyn Sellars, 1974
vs. “Gotta Serve Somebody,” Bob Dylan, 1979
Sellars #37 song about slow and steady faith meets Bobby’s #24 urging decisiveness about which spiritual master to follow.
Final Score: Serve 28, Time 14. It was close for much of the game, but eventually the sheer depth of Dylan’s squad won out. They seemed to be able to bring in a new player on every down. One play it might be a businessman, the next play it might be a construction worker, the next it may be the heavyweight champion of the world. But all of them, at least on this day, had clearly decided to serve their coach, regardless if they called him Terry, Timmy, Bobby, Zimmy, R.J., or Ray.
THE YOU BETTER CALL SOMEBODY BOWL
“(Don’t Worry) If There’s a Hell Below We’re All Going to Go,” Curtis Mayfield, 1970
vs. “Operator,” The Manhattan Transfer, 1975
The #29 soul song about the road to damnation takes on a #22 about a telecommunication line to salvation.
Final Score: Hell 3, Operator 0 (forfeit). Mayfield’s pregame speech to his team was loud enough to reverberate through the entire stadium, and it was so intimidating that their opponents decided not to take the field, instead picking up the telephone and asking for information on how to get as far away from there as possible as quickly as possible.
THE BIG ASS BOWL
“The Bertha Butt Boogie,” The Jimmy Castor Bunch, 1975
vs. “Fat Bottomed Girls,” Queen, 1978
#16 funk about prehistoric posteriors versus #24 rock about bountiful booties.
Final Score: Bertha 34, Girls 17. The extra depth provided by Luther, Leroy, and the Troglodyte gave the Castor Bunch the edge. There was an unusually high level of goodwill after the game. The Queen team asked the Butt Sisters if they could go home with them, and they accepted enthusiastically, with a mysterious promise to “sock it to them.”
THE IT CAME UPON ME LIKE A TIDAL WAVE BOWL
“Cat Scratch Fever,” Ted Nugent, 1977
vs. “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” Meat Loaf, 1978
The Nuge’s #30 that’s not about felines faces Meat’s #39 that isn’t about baseball.
Final Score: Paradise 42, Cat 6. The Meat Loaf squad was determined to reach their goal, and they easily trounced an opponent stricken by illness. Those kids really make things happen out there.
THE MAKE LOVE AND WAR BOWL
“Spill the Wine,” Eric Burdon and War, 1970
vs. “Love to Love You Baby,” Donna Summer, 1976
A #3 rock reverie matches up with a #2 disco sex simulation.
Final Score: Wine 31, Love 3. Donna’s team were worn out from their efforts in the first round, and the Burdon team was able to wrap things up with plenty of time to spare. In fact, during the fourth quarter, their starters weren’t even paying attention, instead just lying in the sideline grass and dreaming.
THE WOULD YOU PUT THIS IN FOR ME BOWL
“Telephone Man,” Meri Wilson, 1977
vs. “If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold it Against Me,” The Bellamy Brothers, 1979
Wilson’s #16 euphemism meets the Bellamys #39 pun.
Final Score: Telephone 52, Body 10. Wilson’s team dominated. They seemed to be in action all over the field, and sometimes all over the entire stadium. They were scoring at will. After the game, the Bellamys had a message to their fans, telling them either to remain loyal or to give them hugs.
THE INDECENT PROPOSALS BOWL
“Lady Marmalade,” Labelle, 1975
vs. “Lucille,” Kenny Rogers, 1977
The #1 about prostitution faces a #5 about non-commercial adultery.
Final Score: Marmalade 23, Lucille 20. Kenny’s team held out as long as they could, and they had a fourth and goal on the LaBelle three yard line with time for one more play. They were about to kick a chip shot field goal to force overtime, but Patti went up to Kenny and said, “Hey Joe, wanna give it a go?” He immediately decided to put the offense back on the field to go for the win. Their big running back looked like he would score the winning TD, but he fumbled the ball at the one. As he trudged dejectedly off the field, he was heard to mutter,”You picked a fine time to leave me, loose ball.”
THE NEEDLE IN A...WAIT, I DON’T THINK THAT’S A STACK OF HAY BOWL
“King Heroin,” James Brown, 1972
vs. “Wildwood Weed,” Jim Stafford, 1974
The #40 sung in the voice of the opioid itself versus the #7 about hicks who stumble upon cannabis.
Final Score: Heroin 56, Weed 7. Stafford’s men appeared relaxed as they took the field, but Brown’s boys methodically and brutally reduced them to defeated shells of their former selves. Bizarrely, the Wildwoods seemed desperately lost when the game ended, as if they needed the beating to continue.
THE RUNNING OFF TO DO SOME STUFF THAT WOULD SHOCK THE FOLKS BACK HOME BOWL
“Walk on the Wild Side,” Lou Reed, 1973
vs. “Say, Has Anybody Seen My Sweet Gypsy Rose,” Tony Orlando and Dawn, 1973
A #16 song about the seedy side of New York versus a #3 about innocence lost via exotic dancing.
Final Score: Wild 31, Rose 21. The Orlando team let it all hang out and thought they were prepared for anything, but the Reed squad had some shocking tricks that they couldn’t cope with. Even worse, the Gypsies head cheerleader, Mary Jo, defected to the Wild Side.
THE HI. YEAH, I GUESS THEY ARE BOWL
“Earache My Eye Featuring Alice Bowie,” Cheech and Chong, 1974
vs. “Ariel,” Dean Friedman, 1977
A #9 about androgynous rockers and the lazy teens who love them takes on a #26 about bohemian romance.
Final Score: Alice 38, Ariel 17. Again, it took the Earache side a little extreme motivation to get going. But once they did, they whipped some ass. Friedman’s team didn’t seem bothered by the loss, and they got back in their VW vans right after the game to return to their life of music, love, and smokeable substances.
Next time, we go back to Britain for a new year. See you then.
Saturday, January 12, 2019
AOMA: UKT40 December 25, 1976 Part Two
The last 20
20 - “Stop Me (If You’ve Heard it All Before),” Billy Ocean
Billy O.’s third hit is decent romantic disco. But it can’t touch the majesty of “Love Really Hurts Without You.” Listen to that again instead. I will.
19 - “The Things We Do for Love,” 10cc
The cc’s sharp look at romance was Top Ten here and in the States, leaving it to Canada to give it its #1 due. More proof that we rule.
18 - “Get Back,” Rod Stewart
Rod chipped in a version of the Fabs’ tale of JoJo and Sweet Loretta to the soundtrack of the Beatles-music-and-newsreel-footage mashup film All This and World War II. It starts with “God Save The Queen” and ends with old-timey piano, but in between Rod does it bluesy justice.
17 - “Wild Side of Life,” Status Quo
Quo’s ninth Top Ten was a boogie cover of Hank Thompson’s 1952 country classic about a man lamenting his lover’s return to a carefree, hard-partying lifestyle. They do okay, though I’m guessing the fact that it’s 70s British rock stars singing this is quite ironic.
16 - “If You Leave Me Now,” Chicago
This shit again. Best I can say about it is that it’s only the second worst Triple Crown winner ever. Send Terry Jacks a gift basket, boys.
15 - “Grandma’s Party,” Paul Nicholas
The second of two Top Tens for the actor-singer was this disco-pop tribute to the wild New Year’s bashes his grandmother hosts. I didn’t get my invitation, but if I had, I would consider going. But my expectations wouldn’t be too high.
14 - “Little Does She Know,” Kursaal Flyers
The only hit for this band from Southend-on-Sea was this fun power-popper about catching your lover cheating on you...in a laundromat. It’s can’t be pleasant to find out someone’s cleaning your clothes and doing you dirty at the same time.
13 - “Fairytale,” Dana
Our second visit with Ms. Scallon’s disco trifle. Not having to hear this again would make me live happily ever after.
12 - “Lean on Me,” Mud
The glammers’ last hit was a cover of Bill Withers’ immortal pledge of friendship and loyalty. It blandly leans on the goodwill of the song’s familiarity. Don’t take this track’s advice; you’ll fall on your face.
11 - “Don’t Give Up On Us,” David Soul
Hutch’s Triple Crown winning ballad. It might be in the bottom 20 or 30 of those honourees, but I would rather listen to this for an hour straight than sit through all of “If You Leave Me Now.”
10 - “Bionic Santa,” Chris Hill
A popular nightclub DJ, Hill scored two Top Tens in two years with novelty Christmas records done in the “break-in” style pioneered by American Dickie Goodman. On this one, Santa crashes his motorcycle, and is rebuilt using the technology popularized on the American TV shows The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman. Multiple songs are sampled, but two in particular are used frequently: Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back in Town” and Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May.” The latter sees a great deal of action during a segment about Parliament debating funding for Santa’s procedure, due to the fact that the Conservative Opposition leader at the time was one Margaret Thatcher. Whatever happened to her, I wonder.
9 - “Living Next Door to Alice,” Smokie
The most enduring hit by the Bradford boys. It’s good, but after hearing the 1995 version with Roy “Chubby “ Brown, I miss the swearing.
8 - “Dr. Love,” Tina Charles
The Whitechapel native reveals a medical fetish on her final hit. Catchy but soulless, which sadly was typical of British disco of the time.
7 - “Love Me,” Yvonne Elliman
The Hawaiian’s first British hit was this cover of a Bee Gees album track from earlier that year. Okay, but the main reason I’m glad it exists is because it gave the Gibbs the idea to give her the fantastic “If I Can’t Have You.”
6 - “Livin’ Thing,” Electric Light Orchestra
Their first Top Five. I’m realizing now that even though I’m grooving hard to this, it might not even be in my ELO Top Five. Wow, I think more of them than I thought I did.
5 - “Portsmouth,” Mike Oldfield
It turns out that Oldfield’s second Top Five wasn’t a tribute to the then-troubled football club nicknamed “Pompey,” but rather a rendition of an old folk tune that accompanied a traditional sailors’ dance called the “hornpipe.” Oldfield plays most of the instruments on the track, but one he doesn’t, the recorder, is featured prominently. For this and other reasons, this is your latest Uneasy Rider.
4 - “Somebody to Love,” Queen
Freddie switches from opera to gospel to convey his desperate loneliness, remains fabulous. It seems like his place in the rock pantheon grows all the time, and I feel it’s well-deserves.
3 - “Money Money Money,” ABBA
Their dramatic ode to the desire for wealth was their fifth Top Five here, but inexplicably fell short of the Top 40 in North America. We missed out. Meanwhile, I’m both intrigued and frightened by the reunion rumours I’m hearing.
2 - “Under the Moon of Love,” Showaddywaddy
Originally recorded by Arizonan Curtis Lee in 1961, this was one of the few commercial flops of Phil Spector’s production heyday. But the Leicester retro squad picked it up, and the result was the only #1 of their career. Good song, performed well. But I’ve got to go back and hear how it turned out with the Wall of Sound.
And your 1976 Christmas #1 was...
1 - “When a Child is Born,” Johnny Mathis
The kinda-Christmas carol the German Michael Holm had a Canadian hit with a year earlier gave smooth Johnny his only charttopper here. Class all the way. The man had a magic croon.
So we’re finally finished with Christmas for another year. Next time, another instalment in my wacky tournament thing. Join me for that.
20 - “Stop Me (If You’ve Heard it All Before),” Billy Ocean
Billy O.’s third hit is decent romantic disco. But it can’t touch the majesty of “Love Really Hurts Without You.” Listen to that again instead. I will.
19 - “The Things We Do for Love,” 10cc
The cc’s sharp look at romance was Top Ten here and in the States, leaving it to Canada to give it its #1 due. More proof that we rule.
18 - “Get Back,” Rod Stewart
Rod chipped in a version of the Fabs’ tale of JoJo and Sweet Loretta to the soundtrack of the Beatles-music-and-newsreel-footage mashup film All This and World War II. It starts with “God Save The Queen” and ends with old-timey piano, but in between Rod does it bluesy justice.
17 - “Wild Side of Life,” Status Quo
Quo’s ninth Top Ten was a boogie cover of Hank Thompson’s 1952 country classic about a man lamenting his lover’s return to a carefree, hard-partying lifestyle. They do okay, though I’m guessing the fact that it’s 70s British rock stars singing this is quite ironic.
16 - “If You Leave Me Now,” Chicago
This shit again. Best I can say about it is that it’s only the second worst Triple Crown winner ever. Send Terry Jacks a gift basket, boys.
15 - “Grandma’s Party,” Paul Nicholas
The second of two Top Tens for the actor-singer was this disco-pop tribute to the wild New Year’s bashes his grandmother hosts. I didn’t get my invitation, but if I had, I would consider going. But my expectations wouldn’t be too high.
14 - “Little Does She Know,” Kursaal Flyers
The only hit for this band from Southend-on-Sea was this fun power-popper about catching your lover cheating on you...in a laundromat. It’s can’t be pleasant to find out someone’s cleaning your clothes and doing you dirty at the same time.
13 - “Fairytale,” Dana
Our second visit with Ms. Scallon’s disco trifle. Not having to hear this again would make me live happily ever after.
12 - “Lean on Me,” Mud
The glammers’ last hit was a cover of Bill Withers’ immortal pledge of friendship and loyalty. It blandly leans on the goodwill of the song’s familiarity. Don’t take this track’s advice; you’ll fall on your face.
11 - “Don’t Give Up On Us,” David Soul
Hutch’s Triple Crown winning ballad. It might be in the bottom 20 or 30 of those honourees, but I would rather listen to this for an hour straight than sit through all of “If You Leave Me Now.”
10 - “Bionic Santa,” Chris Hill
A popular nightclub DJ, Hill scored two Top Tens in two years with novelty Christmas records done in the “break-in” style pioneered by American Dickie Goodman. On this one, Santa crashes his motorcycle, and is rebuilt using the technology popularized on the American TV shows The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman. Multiple songs are sampled, but two in particular are used frequently: Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back in Town” and Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May.” The latter sees a great deal of action during a segment about Parliament debating funding for Santa’s procedure, due to the fact that the Conservative Opposition leader at the time was one Margaret Thatcher. Whatever happened to her, I wonder.
9 - “Living Next Door to Alice,” Smokie
The most enduring hit by the Bradford boys. It’s good, but after hearing the 1995 version with Roy “Chubby “ Brown, I miss the swearing.
8 - “Dr. Love,” Tina Charles
The Whitechapel native reveals a medical fetish on her final hit. Catchy but soulless, which sadly was typical of British disco of the time.
7 - “Love Me,” Yvonne Elliman
The Hawaiian’s first British hit was this cover of a Bee Gees album track from earlier that year. Okay, but the main reason I’m glad it exists is because it gave the Gibbs the idea to give her the fantastic “If I Can’t Have You.”
6 - “Livin’ Thing,” Electric Light Orchestra
Their first Top Five. I’m realizing now that even though I’m grooving hard to this, it might not even be in my ELO Top Five. Wow, I think more of them than I thought I did.
5 - “Portsmouth,” Mike Oldfield
It turns out that Oldfield’s second Top Five wasn’t a tribute to the then-troubled football club nicknamed “Pompey,” but rather a rendition of an old folk tune that accompanied a traditional sailors’ dance called the “hornpipe.” Oldfield plays most of the instruments on the track, but one he doesn’t, the recorder, is featured prominently. For this and other reasons, this is your latest Uneasy Rider.
4 - “Somebody to Love,” Queen
Freddie switches from opera to gospel to convey his desperate loneliness, remains fabulous. It seems like his place in the rock pantheon grows all the time, and I feel it’s well-deserves.
3 - “Money Money Money,” ABBA
Their dramatic ode to the desire for wealth was their fifth Top Five here, but inexplicably fell short of the Top 40 in North America. We missed out. Meanwhile, I’m both intrigued and frightened by the reunion rumours I’m hearing.
2 - “Under the Moon of Love,” Showaddywaddy
Originally recorded by Arizonan Curtis Lee in 1961, this was one of the few commercial flops of Phil Spector’s production heyday. But the Leicester retro squad picked it up, and the result was the only #1 of their career. Good song, performed well. But I’ve got to go back and hear how it turned out with the Wall of Sound.
And your 1976 Christmas #1 was...
1 - “When a Child is Born,” Johnny Mathis
The kinda-Christmas carol the German Michael Holm had a Canadian hit with a year earlier gave smooth Johnny his only charttopper here. Class all the way. The man had a magic croon.
So we’re finally finished with Christmas for another year. Next time, another instalment in my wacky tournament thing. Join me for that.
Monday, January 7, 2019
AOMA: UKT40 December 25, 1976 Part One
December 1976. Northern Irish peace activists Betty Williams and Mairead Corrigan win the Nobel Peace Prize, appropriately enough for the season of hope. This also was the closing of a year in which flamboyant Brit James Hunt won the Formula One World Championship. And now, here are the results of the race for that year’s Christmas #1.
40 - “So Sad the Song,” Gladys Knight and the Pips
GK&tP were still having hits here during an American drought, including this song from the movie Pipe Dreams, an attempt to launch Knight as a film star. Can’t say anything about the movie, but the song is primo soul about breakup regret.
39 - “Don’t Make Me Wait Too Long,” Barry White
A miss at home for Barry, but a Top Twenty here for this funk-disco plea. What you expect from him, and I for one have no complaints.
38 - “Anarchy in the U.K.,” The Sex Pistols
The fiery debut single from the punk icons, coming in the wake of the infamous interview with TV host Bill Grundy, where they swore and berated him for trying to put the moves on fellow guest Siouxsie Sioux. It only charted this high, but there was so much to come in so little time.
37 - “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina,” Julie Covington
The Rock Follies star with her #1 rendition of the showpiece number from Evita. I’m still keeping my distance.
36 - “Maggie May,” Rod Stewart
A reissue of his 1971 Triple Crown triumph. Still one of rock’s most movingly bittersweet love songs.
35 - “Every Man Must Have a Dream,” Liverpool Express
This nondescript band’s second hit was an attempt at a soaring, Beatlesque anthem. It’s a fair effort, but not great.
34 - “Sing Me an Old Fashioned Song,” Billie Jo Spears
The third unlikely hit for the Texas country singer was this expression of nostalgia for old folk songs like “Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me” and “Jimmy Crack Corn.” Corny indeed.
33 - “Keep it Comin’ Love,” KC and the Sunshine Band
Another reliable model from the Casey factory. #1 in Canada, #2 in the States, and...#31 here. I agree with the Brits. It’s pretty much a phoned-in effort.
32 - “You’re More Than a Number in My Little Red Book,” The Drifters
The last hit of the soul legends’ 70s U.K. run was this snappy, old school affirmation of looking for more than temporary gratification. Masterful.
31 - “Daddy Cool,” Boney M
Our second look at the Boneys first it. You’d have to be crazy like a fool not to love it.
30 - “If Not You,” Dr. Hook
The third hit for the New Jersey band was this appreciative ballad about a woman who loves her man unconditionally. The best of the post-Medicine Show material I’ve heard, by far. And RIP to the recently passed Ray Sawyer. I wonder if you’re still wearing the eye patch wherever
you are.
29 - “You’ll Never Get to Heaven (If You Break My Heart),” The Stylistics
The U.K. release of the ‘Stics 1973 cover of a 1964 Bacharach/David number first recorded by Dionne Warwick. A great song sung by great voices. Simple equation.
28 - “Ring Out Solstice Bells,” Jethro Tull
The Blackpool boys get all festive with this nondenominational ode to the holiday season. Lots of flute, of course, along with references to mistletoe, holly, and, um, druids. It’s a pretty good representation of who Ian Anderson is as an artist.
27 - “Lost in France,” Bonnie Tyler
The Welshwoman’s first hit was this breezy pop rocker about falling in love on a French holiday. The rasp isn’t there, as it was just after this that she had her fateful vocal-nodule operation. But her voice still has plenty of character here.
26 - “Mississippi,” Pussycat
Revisiting the Dutch country-disco #1. It’s a little better on the second listen. Still, I am baffled by this mid-70s European facscination with country.
25 - “Haitian Divorce,” Steely Dan
The Dan only had two hits in Britain, and this, their only Top Twenty, wasn’t even a single at home. It could be the reggae feel that connected here, or maybe the cynical view of romances. Whatever it was, it deserved it. Clever class.
24 - “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing,” Leo Sayer
Surprisingly, Britain held their boy’s showy disco standard one place short of a Triple Crown. This deserves it much more than the one they gave it to, “When I Need You.”
23 - “Sideshow,” Barry Biggs
Our second look at Jamaican Biggs’ reggae cover of Blue Magic’s parade of lovelorn outcasts. Still a great match of song and genre.
22 - “I Wish,” Stevie Wonder
The U.K. denies a Triple Crown again, this time holding Stevie’s joyous reflection on misspent youth to #5. You nasty country!
21 - “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word,” Elton John
Another of Sir Elton’s hit piano ballads. In the middle of his pack, but it would be a crown jewel in almost anyone else’s catalogue.
In Part Two: a pensioner’s soirée, a high-tech Father Christmas, and a song named for a city that had just almost lost its football team.
40 - “So Sad the Song,” Gladys Knight and the Pips
GK&tP were still having hits here during an American drought, including this song from the movie Pipe Dreams, an attempt to launch Knight as a film star. Can’t say anything about the movie, but the song is primo soul about breakup regret.
39 - “Don’t Make Me Wait Too Long,” Barry White
A miss at home for Barry, but a Top Twenty here for this funk-disco plea. What you expect from him, and I for one have no complaints.
38 - “Anarchy in the U.K.,” The Sex Pistols
The fiery debut single from the punk icons, coming in the wake of the infamous interview with TV host Bill Grundy, where they swore and berated him for trying to put the moves on fellow guest Siouxsie Sioux. It only charted this high, but there was so much to come in so little time.
37 - “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina,” Julie Covington
The Rock Follies star with her #1 rendition of the showpiece number from Evita. I’m still keeping my distance.
36 - “Maggie May,” Rod Stewart
A reissue of his 1971 Triple Crown triumph. Still one of rock’s most movingly bittersweet love songs.
35 - “Every Man Must Have a Dream,” Liverpool Express
This nondescript band’s second hit was an attempt at a soaring, Beatlesque anthem. It’s a fair effort, but not great.
34 - “Sing Me an Old Fashioned Song,” Billie Jo Spears
The third unlikely hit for the Texas country singer was this expression of nostalgia for old folk songs like “Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me” and “Jimmy Crack Corn.” Corny indeed.
33 - “Keep it Comin’ Love,” KC and the Sunshine Band
Another reliable model from the Casey factory. #1 in Canada, #2 in the States, and...#31 here. I agree with the Brits. It’s pretty much a phoned-in effort.
32 - “You’re More Than a Number in My Little Red Book,” The Drifters
The last hit of the soul legends’ 70s U.K. run was this snappy, old school affirmation of looking for more than temporary gratification. Masterful.
31 - “Daddy Cool,” Boney M
Our second look at the Boneys first it. You’d have to be crazy like a fool not to love it.
30 - “If Not You,” Dr. Hook
The third hit for the New Jersey band was this appreciative ballad about a woman who loves her man unconditionally. The best of the post-Medicine Show material I’ve heard, by far. And RIP to the recently passed Ray Sawyer. I wonder if you’re still wearing the eye patch wherever
you are.
29 - “You’ll Never Get to Heaven (If You Break My Heart),” The Stylistics
The U.K. release of the ‘Stics 1973 cover of a 1964 Bacharach/David number first recorded by Dionne Warwick. A great song sung by great voices. Simple equation.
28 - “Ring Out Solstice Bells,” Jethro Tull
The Blackpool boys get all festive with this nondenominational ode to the holiday season. Lots of flute, of course, along with references to mistletoe, holly, and, um, druids. It’s a pretty good representation of who Ian Anderson is as an artist.
27 - “Lost in France,” Bonnie Tyler
The Welshwoman’s first hit was this breezy pop rocker about falling in love on a French holiday. The rasp isn’t there, as it was just after this that she had her fateful vocal-nodule operation. But her voice still has plenty of character here.
26 - “Mississippi,” Pussycat
Revisiting the Dutch country-disco #1. It’s a little better on the second listen. Still, I am baffled by this mid-70s European facscination with country.
25 - “Haitian Divorce,” Steely Dan
The Dan only had two hits in Britain, and this, their only Top Twenty, wasn’t even a single at home. It could be the reggae feel that connected here, or maybe the cynical view of romances. Whatever it was, it deserved it. Clever class.
24 - “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing,” Leo Sayer
Surprisingly, Britain held their boy’s showy disco standard one place short of a Triple Crown. This deserves it much more than the one they gave it to, “When I Need You.”
23 - “Sideshow,” Barry Biggs
Our second look at Jamaican Biggs’ reggae cover of Blue Magic’s parade of lovelorn outcasts. Still a great match of song and genre.
22 - “I Wish,” Stevie Wonder
The U.K. denies a Triple Crown again, this time holding Stevie’s joyous reflection on misspent youth to #5. You nasty country!
21 - “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word,” Elton John
Another of Sir Elton’s hit piano ballads. In the middle of his pack, but it would be a crown jewel in almost anyone else’s catalogue.
In Part Two: a pensioner’s soirée, a high-tech Father Christmas, and a song named for a city that had just almost lost its football team.
Saturday, January 5, 2019
AOMA: UKT40 December 18, 1999 Part Two
Finish,
20 - “She’s the One/It’s Only Us,” Robbie Williams
20 - “She’s the One/It’s Only Us,” Robbie Williams
The boy band escape scored his second #1 with this double-sided single. The A is a ballad dedicated to a lady who keeps him moving in the right direction. The B is a rocker that was written for the soundtrack of the FIFA 2000 video game. I give the nod to the B, if only for the random exclamation of “Rock Me Amadeus!”
19 - “It’s Only Rock n’Roll,” Artists for Children’s Promise
An all-star charity cover of the 1974 Stones’ classic. Mick and Keith are here, as well as an impressive transatlantic roster that includes Annie Lennox, Bonnie Raitt, the Spice Girls, Mary J. Blige, Chrissie Hynde, and a couple dozen others. More fun than these things usually are. Highlights include the only time you’ll hear James Brown and Dolores O’Riordan singing together, and Iggy Pop being assigned the line about onstage suicide (he’s the only one who could make it sound light-heartedly creepy enough not to be too jarring in this context).
An all-star charity cover of the 1974 Stones’ classic. Mick and Keith are here, as well as an impressive transatlantic roster that includes Annie Lennox, Bonnie Raitt, the Spice Girls, Mary J. Blige, Chrissie Hynde, and a couple dozen others. More fun than these things usually are. Highlights include the only time you’ll hear James Brown and Dolores O’Riordan singing together, and Iggy Pop being assigned the line about onstage suicide (he’s the only one who could make it sound light-heartedly creepy enough not to be too jarring in this context).
18 - “A Little Bit of Luck,” DJ Luck and MC Neat
At this time, a new movement in dance music known as “UK garage” was beginning to penetrate the mainstream, and the London duo of Joel Samuels and Michael Rose was one of its more successful practitioners. Their first hit was this combination of dancehall toasting and a minimalist, bass-heavy backing track. Not a bad first taste of this genre.
17 - “Everybody,” Progress presents The Boy Wunda
Don’t know much about the group, but it’s a pretty basic house track. Their Top of the Pops appearance is worth looking up. It’s got girls dressed up as nurses. Four of them dance, and two play violins. And one DJ is in a straitjacket.
16 - “Steal My Sunshine,” Len
This triple Top Ten by these Torontonians is quite simply one of the best singles of the 90s. Bubbily built on that “More More More” sample, the nonsense lyrics are sung with otherworldly bliss, and the groove is just, for lack of a better word, sunny. Truly “a million miles of fun,”
15 - “I Try,” Macy Gray
Born Natalie McIntyre in Canton, Ohio, Gray broke through with this raspy, old-school soul number about missing someone. She’s just remembered as a one-hit wonder at home, but what a hit. At least in Britain she managed four more.
14 - “King of My Castle,” Wamdue Project
Atlanta house DJ Chris Brann scored a #1 with this towering, bassy house track. It’s got flavour to go with the beats. It does indeed rule.
Atlanta house DJ Chris Brann scored a #1 with this towering, bassy house track. It’s got flavour to go with the beats. It does indeed rule.
13 - “If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time,” R. Kelly
Okay ballad by the super creep. Piss off.
12 - “Every Day I Love You,” Boyzone
The other huge Irish boy band of the time had their eighth #1 with this mushball. I half expected a wedding to spontaneously spring up around me while listening to this.
11 - “Back in My Life,” Alice Deejay
More Dutch dance. But this one isn’t the least bit interesting.
More Dutch dance. But this one isn’t the least bit interesting.
10 - “Kiss (When the Sun Don’t Shine),” Vengaboys
And still more dance music from the Netherlands, this time from the group best known for their enjoyment of parties. It’s okay, but I for one noticed the little trick they did to sound naughtier than they actually are. Slick.
9 - “Barber’s Adagio for Strings,” William Orbit
The London DJ/producer born William Wainwright had been working for almost 20 years when he found the spotlight after collaborating with Madonna on her Ray of Light album. Shortly afterward, he had a hit with a techno/trance take on an orchestral piece written in 1936 by American composer Samuel Barber. A well-done fusion.
8 - “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo,” Mr. Hankey
An episode of South Park where a singing, dancing lump of fecal matter brings people holiday joy eventually led to this single full of Yuletide cheer and poop jokes. Certainly one of the Uneasiest Uneasy Riders ever. But I will say, it’s nice to see a piece of shit not named Gary Glitter in the British Top Ten for once.
7 - “Say You’ll be Mine/Better the Devil You Know,” Steps
Formed like all legendary bands are, as the result of an ad placed by a producer in a trade publication, this three-woman, two-man pop outfit, had one of their string of hits with this two-header. The A is sunny but bland, while the B is an updated but lesser version of a Kylie Minogue hit from nine years earlier. Step away.
6 - “Re-Rewind (The Crowd Say Bo Selecta),” Artful Dodger
The breakthrough hit from this UK garage duo from Southampton features vocals from future solo star Craig David, A fun, steady groove. Oh, and “bo selecta” apparently is something to say to a DJ to praise his choice of music. The more you know,
5 - “Two in a Million/You’re My Number One,” S Club 7
Another mixed pop group with a chunk of hit singles that extended into the 2000s, these guys and gals were formed by Spice Girls matstermind Simon Fuller, and they were launched with a Monkees-style TV series that followed their adventures in Miami. This was their third hit. The B has some retro charm, which gives it an edge over the cookie-cutter pop of the A.
4 - “Cognoscenti vs. Intelligentsia,” Cuban Boys
These boys were in fact British, and their big hit was this dance track that featured multiple movie clips, most notably a sped-up clip of Roger Miller yodelling from Disney’s 1973 animated Robin Hood. That sample had been popularized earlier this year by one of the first Internet memes, “The Hampster Dance.” A strange and beautiful artifact.
3 - “Imagine,” John Lennon
With everyone in a pensive and reflective mood pre Y2K, it was a perfect time to put this out again, apparently. How much more can be said about it? It’s flawed, it’s naive, but it matters.
With everyone in a pensive and reflective mood pre Y2K, it was a perfect time to put this out again, apparently. How much more can be said about it? It’s flawed, it’s naive, but it matters.
2 - “The Millennium Prayer,” Cliff Richard
Sir Cliff got in on the 2000 action and scored a #1 by singing The Lord’s Prayer to the tune of “Auld Lang Syne.” He’s no Sister Janet Mead, but the proceeds did go to Chidren’s Promise, and it raised exponentially more for that charity than “It’s Only Rock n’Roll” did.
1 - “I Have a Dream/Seasons in the Sun,” Westlife
These guys again, covering ABBA and Terry Jacks and denying Cliff the Christmas Number One. The A is harmless, but the B somehow makes a song I hate with the force of a billion white-hot suns even worse. Congratulations...?
There it is. Next time...another British Christmas chart. Why not make the season last? See you soon.
There it is. Next time...another British Christmas chart. Why not make the season last? See you soon.
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