August 1982. This month, Prince William was born. A future King of England entered the world. And this is what the commoners he will eventually lord over by accident of birth were listening to.
40 - "Rock the Casbah," The Clash
The punk pioneers tune about the transformative power of rock on an oppressive society was Top Ten in the States, Top Twenty in Canada, but only hit #30 here. Did the songs "Shareef" have more influence here than in North America? I'm sure there are conspiracy theories about that, just like everything else.
39 - "Machinery," Sheena Easton
The seventh domestic hit for the Scotswoman was this stuttery attempt at New Wave with lyrics that make no sense whatsoever. It shouldn't have been let out of the factory.
38 - "Bamboo Houses/Bamboo Music," Sylvian Sakamoto
The first of two hits for the collaboration of Japan singer David Sylvian and the Japanese co-founder of Yellow Magic Orchestra, Ryuchi Sakamoto, was this double-sider. The A is spooky synthpop with very few lyrics. The B is a little poppier, and has more lyrics. The theme of both seems to be houses and building. It's all very pretty and interesting, but certainly not radio-friendly pop. So I love that it made the Top 40 here. When only sales count, these things can happen.
37 - "Walking on Sunshine," Rockers Revenge featuring Donnie Calvin
Our second look at the Top Five team-up of singer Calvin and producer Arthur Baker. It's still fun, floor-filling electro-funk, and it's still not the same song that Katrina and the Waves did.
36 - "Wot," Captain Sensible
The second hit for the former Damned singer was this early rap-dance-rock hybrid on which the good Captain just seems grumpy. But you can sing along to his annoyance, so it's a beautiful thing.
35 - "Under the Boardwalk," Tom Tom Club
Our second visit with the Talking Heads' side project's cover of the Drifters classic. Okay, but I still spent more time during this spin being amazed at how "Genius of Love" could have possibly bombed here.
34 - "Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White," Modern Romance featuring John Du Prez
The fifth hit for these lounge-wavers was this cover of a 1950 composition best known for being a #1 smash for bandleader Perez Prado in 1955. Some nice playing from trumpeter Du Prez, but otherwise nothing notable.
33 - "Nobody's Fool," Haircut One Hundred
The fourth and final Top Ten for the Beckenham boys was this bouncy pop song about romantic bewilderment One of those bands who had one perfect run, then faded. Sometimes that's for the best.
32 - "Me and My Girl (Night-Clubbing)," David Essex
Mr. "Rock On" had his second hit of the decade with this cheesy number about taking his lady out on the town. His accent is strangely inconsistent throughout, and the arrangement sounds like a ska band trying to play a waltz. It all adds up to a quite unpleasant sound.
31 - "Spread a Little Happiness," Sting
Another outing for Sting's version of a 1929 song recorded for his film Brimstone and Treacle. Could he have been the British Fred Astaire if he had been born a half-century earlier? The fact that this song makes me ask that question weirds me out.
30 - "Chalk Dust - The Umpire Strikes Back," The Brat
This is a dance-rap parody concocted by comedians Kaplan Kaye and Roger Kitter. It imagines a clash between a Wimbledon umpire and argumentative tennis star John McEnroe over a line call. It ends with the official killing Johnny Mac with some sort of laser beam. A very dated Uneasy Rider. This one landed out by several feet.
29 - "Too Late," Junior
Norman Giscombe's second hit was this deceptively smooth R&B track about a woman leaving her abusive partner. The music masks the message. Nothing special.
28 - "Today," Talk Talk
The arty Londoners' breakthrough hit. Tuneful new wave about disillusionment with modern life. I think it's overtaking "It's My Life" in my estimation.
27 - "Save a Prayer," Duran Duran
The Duranies' first hit ballad became their biggest song to this point, reaching #2. It's about overcoming fear to take chances and experience life. They were starting to show that they were more than just New Romantic pretty boys destined to burn out.
26 - "Hi Fidelity," The Kids from Fame
Another look at this limp dance-popper from the cast of the movie-spinoff. So they want a relationship like a stereo? Okay, I guess everyone needs someone who will woofer their tweeter, or vice versa.
25 - "The Only Way Out," Cliff Richard
Sir Cliff continued the modern pop-rock run that began with "Devil Woman" with this mediocre song about needing a certain lady to save him from wild bachelorhood. I'm not sure how crazy he could have actually gotten, given his devout reputation, but they say it's always the quiet ones.
24 - "Love is In Control (Finger on the Trigger)," Donna Summer
Donna's first Brit hit of the 80s sounds quite a bit like the pop-funk that Michael Jackson was putting out just before and just after this, so it was no surprise to learn that it was produced and co-written by Quincy Jones. There are some disco whistles in the mix for some reason, but they don't detract from this wonderfully constructed number about incendiary passion. Possibly her best hit of this decade, on either side of the ocean.
23 - "Take it Away," Paul McCartney
Macca with a yacht-rocky ode to musicians and fans. His solo career was dropping back to the mediocrity of the last gasps of Wings. Get it out of here.
22 - "Da Da Da," Trio
The aggravatingly infectious sole hit for this German threesome is a testament to the power of deadpan vocals, minimalist synth beats, and a nonsensical chorus. I do love this, and I do believe it loves me.
21 - "18 Carat Love Affair/Love Hangover," The Associates
The third and final hit for these Dundee natives was this dramatic New Waver about a man who his cheating on his fiancee. It gives you no reason to empathize with the cheating bastard. And it's a double A with a really crappy Diana Ross cover. Don't associate with this one.
In Part Two: a cowboy, a snitch, and an odd young lady.
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