And now it's April of 2011. At the end of this month, Prince William would marry Kate Middleton. At the beginning, however, these were the crown jewels of American pop.
40 - "Moment 4 Life," Nicki Minaj featuring Drake
39 -"Back to December," Taylor Swift
38 - "The Lazy Song," Bruno Mars
37 - "DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love," Usher featuring Pitbull
36 - "On the Floor," Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull
35 - "Down on Me," Jeremih featuring 50 Cent
34 - "Just the Way You Are," Bruno Mars
33 - "Marry Me," Train
32 - "Stereo Love," Edward Maya
31 - "Price Tag," Jessie J featuring B.o.B.
We begin with women with male rap guest stars. Trinidad-born, New York-raised Onika Maraj tweaked her name when she began her rap career. Her entry here, featuring Canadian rapper Drake, is a celebration of her awesomeness on which she claims she slayed Goliath and "sprinkle(d) holy water on a vampire." I like it, but I could do without that remix they made for that Pepsi commercial. Jennifer Lopez had a brief chart comeback with this dance track that doesn't do much to me. And I just find Pitbull annoying. And Londoner Jessica Cornish scored her first American hit with this song that places the value of music and good times above that of material goods. And B.o.B. says he's going to Mars for some reason. It's okay, I guess.
Four artists are billed as solo acts in this bunch. Taylor Swift maintained her constant presence with this song that some believe is an apology to ex-boyfriend Taylor Lautner. Maybe it's just me, but two Taylors in a relationship just seems wrong, no matter what the gender combination. But that doesn't mean anyone should stop them from getting married if they so desire. And that's my political statement for the week. Oh yeah, the song's her usual boring princess pap. Honolulu's Peter Hernandez got the nickname "Bruno" because when he was 2, his father thought he resembled wrestling star (and about-to-be-WWE Hall of Famer) Bruno Sammartino. I don't know wear the "Mars" came from, but he has two songs in this section. First it's a reggae-tinged number about chilling out and doing nothing except "chillin' in my Snuggie." That's the blanket with sleeves, don'tcha know. Catchy fun. Then there's his biggest hit to date, a song that borrows its title from Billy Joel and its concept from Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight." Before this, all I knew was it's chorus, and thus, I found it kind of annoying. But hearing the whole song, I find it a sweet, solid pop ode to a woman who doesn't realize how wonderful she is. I'm starting to apprecitate this Mars kid. And Romanian Edward Maya effectively combines dance beats, ethereal female vocals, and what sounds like an accordion (but probably isn't) for a sensual little number that claims this week's Uneasy Rider.
What's left are two male "featurers" and a band. Usher is here singing about the romance rekindling powers of nightclub music programmers. And Pitbull's here again. For some reason, he says "Da" all the time, even though he's not Russian. But still, to him, I say "Nyet." Jeremih (pronounced JeremEYE, apparently) Felton had his second Pop Top 5 with this 50-assisted song about a woman who shakes her ass and such. Groundbreaking. I've never heard his other big hit, but I know I like it better than this just for it's title, "Birthday Sex." And Train are here with a song about how Pat Monahan would marry a girl if he could only get up the nerve to actually talk to her. Loser. Not because you're shy, but because you're the singer for Train.
30 - "What's My Name," Rihanna featuring Drake
29 - "Pretty Girl Rock - Keri Hilson featuring Kanye West
28 - "Dynamite," Taio Cruz
27 - "Only Girl (In the World)," Rihanna
26 - "For the First Time," The Script
25 - "Waiting for the End," Linkin Park
24 - "Raise Your Glass," Pink
23 - "Rhythm of Love," Plain White T's
22 - "Just a Dream," Nelly
21 - "Written in the Stars," Tinie Tempah featuring Eric Turner
This section contains a mere three ______ featuring ______ songs. Rihanna teamed up with Drake for an okay song about sex or something. Not one of her best, just something to keep her on the radio. Keri Hilson was joined by Kanye West on the remix of this song about how hot she is. The song ain't much, and Kanye seems to be phoning it in. And British rapper Tinie Tempah was assisted by Swedish-based American singer Eric Turner on his biggest American hit. It's a little slick, but he brings a different flavor to radio hip-hop that's very welcome.
Two solo men in this bunch. Taio Cruz had perhaps his most enduring hit so far with a song about making people dance and the importance of "wearing all my favorite brands." Um, yeah. And Nelly returned to the Top Ten after a three-year absence with a tender, guitar-driven midtempo ballad about missing an ex. It's actually a very good pop song. I think he's one of the more underrated talents in music this century.
Then there's a couple solo women. Rihanna's back, asking you to "love me like I'm a hot ride." So she wants to be driven all over town, then washed, waxed, detailed, filled with gasoline, given an oil change, and then locked in the garage? Probably not. And that was a horrible joke. But it's been made. What am I gonna do, delete it? No sir. And Pink topped the charts with this fun little song about partying with "panty snatcher(s)" and "dirty little freaks." I think I could fit in with that sort of crowd.
We wrap up the first half with groups. The Script sing blandly about being unemployed and in love. I think that's what this is about. They're a little less boring than The Fray, but that's hardly an accomplishment. Linkin Park had another hit with this downbeat soft rock/rap hybrid about, I don't know, how they wish their lives were better. Yeah, you guys have it hard. Well, at least you didn't rip off U2 this time. And Plain White T's, a Chicago pop-punk band who had a #1 smash in 2007 with the annoying acoustic ballad "Hey There Delilah," had their most recent hit to date with this jaunty, reggaeish love song. I like it more than this band has any right to expect. I'm not calling it great or anything, but it's much more than I expected from what little I knew of them before.
In Part Two: three female double-dippers, and a couple of cleaned-up gentlemen.
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