Welcome to early March 2009. Around this time, NASA launched a mission to search for planets outside our solar system. Meanwhile, here's what the stars of the American pop galaxy were up to:
40 - "Halo," Beyoncé
39 - "Miss Independent," Ne-Yo
38 - "Candle (Sick and Tired)," White Tie Affair
37 - "Love Lockdown," Kanye West
36 - "Kiss Me Thru the Phone," Soulja Boy featuring Sammie
35 - "Closer," Ne-Yo
34 - "Better in Time," Leona Lewis
33 - "Addicted," Saving Abel
32 - "Angels on the Moon," Thriving Ivory
31 - "So What," Pink
We begin with women. Beyoncé is here again with a big dramatic song that projects angelic qualities on a friend or lover. Big voice, big chorus, big hit. That's the way it works these days. Leona Lewis, who won the third season of the British version of Simon Cowell's singing competition The X Factor, had her second American hit with this ballad about how the passage of the days will hopefully help her recover from a breakup. She sings okay, but the song isn't much, and I'm not that surprised that her career is starting to fade. To me, she just doesn't have...what's the term I'm looking for? Oh well. And Pink went to #1 with her entry here, a bouncy, bratty earworm about her celebrating her separation from husband Carey Hart by drinking, fighting, and just showing off her "rock moves." It's fun, it let her get stuff out of her system, and it helped cement her as one of pop's leading lights. And on top of that, her and Hart got back together, and they're still going. Awwwww.
Then there are men. Ne-Yo is here twice. First he sings the praises of a lady who does several different things "like a boss." He's attracted to that in a woman, apparently. That's good. The next is just a basic but effective "let's get it on" number. He's definitely in the upper tier of modern R&B singers. After conquering rap on his first three "education" albums, Kanye West turned to synthesizers and Auto-Tune-aided singing on his next CD, 808s and Heartbreak. But the hits and the sales continued. The first single is this drum-heavy take on romantic doubt and confusion. Another winner from Mr. West. And rapper DeAndre Way, whose debut hit "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" introduced not only a new dance but also the concept of "Supermanning" a woman (if you don't know, you might not want to look it up) teamed up with singer Sammie with a song about using the telephone to communicate with a lover. This was his second Top Five, and last to date. That seems about right. He caught on with a couple of simple, catchy tunes, but I don't think there's a major artist waiting to get out.
What's left of this bunch are bands. Chicago electronic pop outfit White Tie Affair with an emoish track about pining for a girl. Apparently they appeared on an episode of The Hills. The depth and quality of this song makes that seem to me quite logical. Saving Abel were another band who threw themselves on the droney mope-rock pile, and they're biggest hit was this hunk of beige about liking to have sex with a woman but being annoyed by pretty much everything else about her. There are ways to make that lyrical theme entertaining, but these guys didn't find one of them. And San Francisco's Thriving Ivory had their only hit of consequence with this better-than-average rock ballad about, I don't know, loss and mourning and stuff. I'm not really sure, but it's catchy, well-written, and I like the rasp of the singer's voice. I might like it better because of what surrounds it, but whatever.
30 - "Light On," David Cook
29 - "Right Now (Na Na Na)," Akon
28 - "Crack a Bottle," Eminem featuring 50 Cent and Dr. Dre
27 - "I Will Be," Leona Lewis
26 - "Gotta Be Somebody," Nickelback
25 - "Whatever You Like," T.I.
24 - "How Do You Sleep," Jesse McCartney
23 - "Beautiful," Akon featuring Kardinal Offishall and Colby O'Donis
22 - "I'm Yours," Jason Mraz
21 - "Hot N Cold," Katy Perry
Half of this section is made up of male singers. Season seven American Idol champ David Cook had his second major hit with this power ballad about leaving a loved one. I can't tell if he's leaving because he's breaking up with the person, or he's just going somewhere and he'll be back after a while. And I'm not interested enough to care. Talented guy, bland song. The growing pop force that was Akon appears twice in this section. First, he pleads with an ex to reunite with him with the help of a catchy chorus. I wonder if she replied "Na Na Na No." And later, he teams up with a Canadian rapper and an American singer (both of whom were signed to his label at the time) to sing the praises of a good-looking lady. Not bad. Jesse McCartney scored his most recent hit by turning in an R&B direction on this song about regretting a breakup. He's trying to be Timberlake, but I'm not convinced. And Virginian Jason Mraz had his biggest hit to date with this bouncy, jazzy folk-popper about trying to charm a lady with his quirky ways. It's good for what it is, but it's not really my thing. This song positions him as kind of a missing link between John Mayer and Michael Buble, and that's not something I was asking for. Still, I like his first hit from 2003, "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)."
Two rap songs are here. Eminem returned after a three-year hiatus with this track that reportedly features Dr. Dre and 50 Cent, but the version Seacrest played just had Em on it. Not one of his better performances, as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I'll track down the other version someday. And Atlantan Clifford Harris, who would knock the "p" of his nickname Tip and add periods, scored his first pop #1 with this song on which he offers ladies unlimited material riches in exchange for providing him with quality sex on demand. Well, I'll give him credit for spelling things out and leaving no room for confusion. But I wonder how this philosophy has worked for him during his multiple incarcerations.
We wrap up the first half with two ladies and Nickelback. Leona Lewis returns with a cover of a song co-written and originally recorded by Avril Lavigne. She sounds less like a second-rate Mariah on this, but still, I don't think much of it. Future Mr. Lavigne Chad Kroeger and his band went in a slightly dance-rockier direction on their entry here, a cry of hope that the love of one's life is out there somewhere. It was another base covered in their quest to appeal to absolutely everyone at some point. They've got a strategy, you can't deny that. And at last we encounter one Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson: daughter of (pastors-turned-Christian teen popper-turned-secular sex bomb. On her second major hit, she sings about a boyfriend's wild mood swings (which she oh-so-delicately describes as him suffering from "PMS like a bitch.") over a wonderful 80s-style synthpop track. Catchy as hell, perfect for dancing, and my favorite of hers by a long, long way.
In Part Two: quite a few of the artists from this half reappear, plus another current pop icon makes her BGC debut.
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