This week we're in 2010. We have arrived in our current decade. At this moment in time, Canada was still basking in the glow of its successes at the Vancouver Winter Olympics. Meanwhile, in our neighbour to the south, these songs were competing for a different kind of gold.
40 - "Sweet Dreams," Beyoncé
39 - "Already Gone," Kelly Clarkson
38 - "Evacuate the Dance Floor," Cascada
37 - "3," Britney Spears
36 - "Heartbreak Warfare," John Mayer
35 - "I Gotta Feeling," The Black Eyed Peas
34 - "Use Somebody," Kings of Leon
33 - "Break Your Heart," Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris
32 - "Naturally," Selena Gomez and the Scene
31 - "Fireflies," Owl City
We begin with women. Beyonce continued cranking out the hits, and her latest was this dark dance tune on which she wonders if her relationship is even real, and if it is, whether it might be a "beautiful nightmare." There's no doubt about the song itself being pretty sweet, though. Speaking of Beyonce, there was some controversy about the similarities between her hit "Halo" and Kelly Clarkson's ballad here. Both were written and produced by OneRepublic's Ryan Tedder, and both employ backing tracks so similar that Clarkson didn't want "Already Gone" released as a single. But it was, and because the vocal melody is very diffferent than "Halo," the song stands on its own as a lament over a relationship that's doomed to fail in spite of the best efforts of both parties. And Kelly sings hell out of it, as usual. And Britney Spears makes yet another contribution to the pop catalogue with an electropoppy ode to what the French call "menages a trois." "Everybody loves countin'" she sings. I wonder why she wasn't invited to do a version of this for Sesame Street. Maybe with special guests Peter, Paul and Mary. Then again, if they had to pull Katy Perry because of cleavage...
Then we have the groups. German dance combo Cascada had their most recent, and I would argue best, American hit with about being "infected by the sound" of some tasty dance grooves. Brings to mind images of people in hazmat suits storming a nightclub and forcing partiers into decontamination showers. Maybe not what was intended, but I enjoy it. The Black Eyed Peas are here with what has become not only their biggest hit, but one of the most ubiquitous songs of recent vintage. From what I gather, they believe that this evening is going to be a particularly enjoyable one. Yes, it's been played to death on multiple platforms, but it's one of those songs that I just feel was always going to be written by somebody, so I'm just resigned to its existence. It's here, it's everywhere, we just have to accept it. Kings of Leon, a band consisting of the three Oklahoma-raised Followill brothers and a cousin, had been platinum stars in the U.K for half a decade with their gritty Southern sound, but it wasn't until they added a more polished sheen to their recordings that they broke through in their homeland. Their biggest hit to date was this vaguely U2ish power ballad about looking for someone to provide a certain kind of comfort. It's okay, but I prefer their earlier stuff. And Selena Gomez, the Texas-born singer-actress who shot to fame on the Disney Channel's Wizards of Waverly Place, had her first hit with her backing band with this catchy dance number about natural chemistry between lovers. Sadly, it seems the chemistry she had with a certain native of Stratford, Ontario had a shelf life. If those two crazy kids couldn't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?
We'll finish off the firs section with men. John Mayer bores me again as he compares romance to armend combat. Pat Benatar did that much better, Johnny. Brit Taio Cruz made his American breakthrough on this danceable confession of unreliability. Okay song, helped by the always welcome Ludacris. And Minnesota electronic musician Adam Young, performing under the name Owl City, had a worldwide #1 with this dreamy, sparse synthpop track featuring Relient K vocalist singing about dancing lightning bugs and other flights of fantasy. It sounds weird, yet still fits perfectly in the modern pop landscape. But the strangeness is enough to earn it an Uneasy Rider.
30 - "Today was a Fairytale," Taylor Swift
29 - "Empire State of Mind," Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys.
28 - "Say Aah," Trey Songz featuring Fabolous
27 - "Nothin' on You," B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars
26 - "How Low," Ludacris
25 - "Life After You," Daughtry
24 - "Down," Jay Sean featuring Lil Wayne
23 - "Tie Me Down," New Boyz featuring Ray J
22 - "Two is Better Than One," Boys Like Girls featuring Taylor Swift
21 - "Hey, Soul Sister," Train
We start with true solo acts, of which there are only two in this section. Taylor Swift is here, singing in her Swiftian style about love and feeling like a princess and stuff in a track from the soundtrack of the all-star romantic comedy Valentine's Day. That was a hit, but the follow-up, New Year's Eve, flopped. So does that mean there won't be a film featuring several familiar faces trying to hook up in time to celebrate Flag Day? Aw. And Ludacris is here, rapping about suggestively-dancing women in an entertaining fashion, enhanced by sped-up sample. Whatever you think of it, he does it very well.
We have a whopping six ________ featuring ________ songs here. I'm dividing them up into "rapped" and "sung," even though in a couple cases the line between is blurry. Jay-Z had one oAf his biggest and best hits with an ode to his hometown, the one and only Big Apple, that features a sample from the 1970 Moments hit "Love on a Two-Way Street" and a chorus sung by Alicia Keys that soars despite being grammatically incorrect ("Where dreams are made of" would surely bring out the inner red pen in any English teacher). Is Jay "the new Sinatra?" Perhaps not, but this seems bound to sit side by side with Ol' Blue Eyes' hit on the top of the heap of Gotham anthems. Georgian B.o.B. and Hawaiian Bruno Mars combined for this smash tribute to the perfect lady, who B.o.B. says "got me froze like a Nintendo 64." I'd say "Ouch!" for Nintendo. Anyway, decent song, and B.o.B.'s drawl reminds me of Luda, which is kind of a good thing. And New Boyz had their second of three hits with a song about not wanting to stick to one woman. Not exactly as classy as one would expect a group that a gentleman such as Ray J would associate with. And singing with the assistance of AutoTune is one thing, but rapping? Questionable.
Now to the other three featurers. Virginian Tremaine Neverson had his first pop Top Ten with a song that's basically about getting a woman drunk for undisclosed purposes. Not exactly tasteful, or progressive, or anything good. And definitely not "Fabolous." I'm probably being a little jaded about it right now, but I can only write in the state of mind I'm in. Indo-British singer Jay Sean teamed up with Lil Wayne for his American breakthrough, A standard R&B love song, although I'm not sure why Wayne decided that "I'm down like that economy" was appropriate for this track. And Boys Like Girls had their biggest hit to date with this bland acoustic pop love song. Did the presence of a certain country-pop pixie have anything to do with that? Well, yeah.
Our look at the first half ends with good old-fashioned bands. Chris Daughtry and co. added to their string of hits with this song about a woman he literally can't go on without. It was co-written with Chad Kroeger of Nickelback, and it shows. I figured those two would get together sometime, I just didn't know it had already happened. And Train made their return to relevance with what would become their biggest hit to date with this cloying, cutesy track. The ukulele is probably supposed to be charming, but I'm just annoyed by it. And the lyrics are on the wrong side of the line between stupid and clever. Mr. Monahan, you are neither "so gangsta" nor "so thug." I would much rather here a thousand Mr. Mister songs on my radio before having my ears invaded by this again. The way this became huge ain't fair, you know.
In Part Two: Idol finalists duke it out again, and the early days of two of pop's current titans.
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