20 - "Till the World Ends," Britney Spears
19 - "We R Who We R," Ke$ha
18 - "Just Can't Get Enough," The Black Eyed Peas
17 - "Jar of Hearts," Christina Perri
16 - "Yeah 3X," Chris Brown
The second half begins with Her Britness, who wants to boogie until Armageddon comes. There are worse things to do be doing when everything comes crashing down, I suppose. But there are also many better songs to be doing it to.
Ke$ha kept doing her Ke$ha thing on this song where she talks about dancing like she's dumb with "Jesus on my necklace." That's appropriate for the just-passed Easter season, I suppose, except maybe fot the fact that Ke$ha is, well, Ke$ha.
Next it's the Black Eyed Peas with their most recent major hit. Nothing overtly awful, just rhymes about a hot girl, and Fergie sticks to singing. But another unnecessary tempo change. They do it because they can, I guess.
Then it's the first hit for Christina Perri, who sounds like a cross between Pink and Alanis Morissette on this piano ballad about getting her heart broken. It's fine, but I've heard too many better songs that are similar to this to really like it.
Last in this group is a song with an awful title.
15 - "Rocketeer," Far East Movement featuring Ryan Tedder
14 - "What The Hell," Avril Lavigne
13 - "Firework," Katy Perry
12 - "E.T.," Katy Perry featuring Kanye West
11 - "Hold it Against Me," Britney Spears
This section opens with Asian-American rap group Far East Movement, who followed up their #1 "Like a G6" with their only other Top Ten to date, which includes the title phrase of that previous hit. It's okay hip-hop-pop about wanting to fly around in a jet pack. No, they still don't have those available for mass consumption. Will they ever?
Avril Lavigne had her most recent Top Ten with this peppy, poppy number about taking life less seriously than her would-be boyfriend. I don't know, even though she was only 27 at the time, this song just seeme to young for her. Maybe that's just me though.
Then we've got back-to-back Katy Perry. First is her inspirational dance track encouraging outcasts and shy people to "let your colours burst." It's catchy, hooky, and has a nice message. Nothing wrong with it at all. Then, it's a slower, more ominous number about a lover who seems literally out of this world. Kanye's verses fit in perfectly with the vibe. It's a little different from the fluffier stuff she does, but it works in its own way. I just find myself liking her more than I thought I did.
This batch is rounded out by more Britney. This song's double entendre title completes the phrase "If I said I want your body now..." Of course, the Bellamy Brothers went to this well first, but Brit's version is showier and noisier. Does that mean better as well? You decide.
Top Ten, you are cleared for takeoff.
10 - "Blow," KeSha
Her again, with more oddly sung party music. "We're pretty and sick, we're young and we're bored," she says. Isn't that pretty much the thesis statement for all of her songs?
9 - "Coming Home," Diddy-Dirty Money featuring Skylar Grey
The biggest pop hit by this Sean Combs-fronted group reminds me a lot of Eminem, from Diddy's delivery to his uncharacteristically confessional rhyme to the "Stan"-esque ethereal white-girl vocal contributions of Skylar Grey. But it's still his own twist on it, and opening each verse with a comment on a classic song is an interesting motif that works well. Possibly the best track he's been a lead performer on.
8- "S&M," Rihanna
Taking a turn for the kinky on this one. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me," she sings. Whatever tickles your pickle, I suppose.
7 - "More," Usher
Apparently, dancing brings out the primitive side of Mr. Raymond: "I'm a beast, I'm an animal, I'm that monster in the mirror." I guess that's a good thing, which is more than I can say for this song.
6 - "Hey Baby (Drop it to the Floor)," Pitbull featring T-Pain
Our first encounter with the man born Armando Perez as a lead artist. As usual, he enjoys watching women dance. T-Pain approves, but I don't. I don't understand his appeal at all.
5 - "Grenade," Bruno Mars
Mr. Mars makes his third appearance this week on this ballad about an uneven relationship where he cares enough for his lover to be willing to put himself in harm's way for her, but she doesn't seem to reciprocate. I'm starting to see why this guy is a leading light in modern R&B. He's got the voice, he's talented musically and lyrically, and he knows his way around a hook.
4 - "Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)," Enrique Iglesias featuring Ludacris
Julio's boy was riding a renewed wave of American success when he put out this straight-up declaration of his intentions toward a young lady. In the uncensored version, the verb in the parentheses is replaced by a, shall we say, stronger word. Oh Enrique, your dad didn't have to resort to such coarseness to get action, and I'm willing to guess that he got more of that in his five peak years than you will in your entire lifetime. Just a feeling I have.
3 - "Forget You (FU)," Cee-Lo Green
This Atlanta rapper, born Thomas DeCarlo Callaway, had some success in the 90s with the group Goodie Mob, then some more in the 2000s as half of the duo Gnarls Barkley (whose "Crazy" is in my Top Ten pop hits of that decade.) But his biggest hit came by himself in the form of this 70s-funk-styled kissoff to an ex that, like the song at #4, uses a different F-word in its original version. An earworm with a universal theme and a great vocal performance. No mystery why this was huge.
2 - "Born This Way," Lady Gaga
The title track from her second full album was another big, flamboyant statement about accepting who you are and asking the same from the world. Yes, there are similatities between this and Madonna's 1989 hit "Express Yourself," but it's so boisterous and propulsive that for those four minutes, it's hard to give a shit about that. So don't be a drag, just be a queen, I suppose.
And on top two years ago was:
1 - "Perfect," Pink
This ballad has common qualities with the songs around it in the upper reaches of this chart. Like "Born This Way," it's about learning to accept oneself as one is. And like songs #3 and #4, the title of its original version contains a variation of a certain four-letter word. The song itself is a well-constructed, well-intentioned production, but sorry, Ms.Pink, you probably shouldn't rap. Ever.
Next time: 2012. The end is near. In this case, for real.
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