The OMUTURE: Round 1, Part 4

The tournament finally resumes in a post-podcast world.  To check out the first three brackets go here.
https://bobbyglovescasey.blogspot.com/2019/09/the-old-mans-ultimate-tournament-of.html
https://bobbyglovescasey.blogspot.com/2019/10/the-omuture-round-1-part-2.html
https://bobbyglovescasey.blogspot.com/2019/11/the-omuture-round-one-part-3.html

And now, the new batch.

THE OLD-SCHOOL PERAMBULATION BOWL
"Walk Like an Egyptian," The Bangles, 1986
vs. "Walk the Dinosaur," Was (Not Was), 1989
Two songs about different styles of strolling. First, an L.A. all-female band got to #1 with a song about walking like the poses in Egyptian hieroglyphics.  Then, a group from Detroit hit #7 with a tune about living in an anachronistic realm where there are T. Rexes
and televisions on which one can watch Miami Vice.

Final Score: Dinosaur 35, Egyptian 24.  The Was team had the size and strength to outlast the fancy footwork of the Bangles.  The losers went off to drown their sorrows: some at a hookah bar, others at a donut shop.

THE BLACK AND WHITE RERUNS BOWL
"Twilight Tone," The Manhattan Transfer, 1980
vs. "The Curly Shuffle," Jump 'N the Saddle, 1984
Two songs that evoke old shows that would have been frequently aired in syndication at the time.  First, a New York jazz vocal quartet went to #30 with an interpretation of the theme of Rod Serling's popular science fiction anthology series. Then, a Chicago Western swing outfit hit #15 with their ode to the comedy trio of !oe, Larry, and Moe's brother.

Final Score: Curly 44, Twilight 3. The Saddle Squad dominated with a style that can't quite be described as smashmouth.  More like smash the entire head.  They move on.  The Twilight team is still stuck at the site of the game.  They have submitted their travel budget for approval...but they haven't heard back yet.  Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.

THE HOCKEY STICKS AND BOOMERANGS BOWL
"Take Off," Bob and Doug McKenzie, 1982
vs. "Down Under," Men at Work, 1983
Two songs that are self-parodies of the artists' British Commonwealth nations.  First, comediand Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas made it to #16 performing as their toque-wearing, beer drinking hoser characters from SCTV. Then, the Australian New Wave stars went to #1 with a song about running into countrymen around the world and identifying them by their slang and eating habits.

Final Score: Off 31, Under 14. The McKenzies' team of hockey hardened tough guys managed to beat the Work boys, who were no slouches themselves due to rugby and Aussie Rules.  Maybe back bacon is a better pregame meal than vegemite, or maybe the Down Under side was disoriented by the high pitched signal calling of quarterback Geddy Lee.

THE VIENNA OR VENICE BEACH BOWL
"Vienna Calling," Falco, 1986
vs. "Going Back to Cali," LL Cool J, 1988
Two songs that refer to specific destinations.  First, an Austrian rock singer hit #18 with a song about a the capital city of his country. Then, a New York rapper got to #31 by talking about returning to the Golden State and hanging out with beautiful women.

Final Score: Vienna 17, Cali 13.  A close battle, during which both teams sometimes seemed more interested in looking at their cheerleaders than playing the game.  But Falco's team managed to win, possibly because they knew English but the Cool Js didn't know German.

THE SWINGING AND RIDING BOWL
"Tarzan Boy," Baltimora, 1986
vs. "I Wanna Be a Cowboy," Boys Don't Cry, 1986
Two hits about imagining oneself as a type of movie hero.  First, an Italian group got to #13 picturing a life in the savage jungle like that of Edgar Rice Burroughs most famous creation.  Then a London group reached #12 with a song imagining riding the range with a horse and a six-gun.

Final Score: Cowboy 27, Tarzan 17.  The Boys had the horses to get it done on the ground, but they also had enough gun slinging ability to fire downfield.  Baltimora could do things in the air, but they ultimately got shot down.  The Tarzans left the stadium saying that they were going back to the jungle to face the Lions.  Good luck to them.

THE METAL OR MOZART BOWL 
"Rock You Like a Hurricane," Scorpions, 1984
vs. "Rock Me Amadeus," Falco, 1986
Two literal rock songs from Germanic artists.  First, a band from Hanover hit #25 with a song about hungry wolves, purring cats, and fierce windstorms. Or sex.  Probably sex. Then, the Austrian born Johan Holzel made it to #1 by rapping a tribute to notes composer Wolfgang Mozart.

Final Score: Amadeus 49, Hurricane 10.  Both teams knew how to score in their own ways, but Falco's classical, timeless plays took the sting out of the Scorpions and blew them away.

THE CHOOSE YOUR BOOGIE CAREFULLY BOWL
"The Safety Dance," Men Without Hats, 1983
vs. "The Politics of Dancing," Re-Flex, 1984
Two songs that posit that there is more to dancing than just sharing one's booty.  First, a group from Montreal peaked at #3 with a song that states that your willingness to dance is an indicator of his value as a friend. Then, a band from Birmingham, England, got to #24 with a track that posits that dancing can be a political act.

Final Score: Safety 31, Politics 14. The Safety team considered playing sans helmets, but they decided that wouldn't fit their game plan. Once they got used to the headgear, they were able to sidestep the political minefield and deflect the Re-Flex challenge.

HE TEENAGE REBELLION BOWL 
"(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party)," Beastie Boys, 1987
 vs. "Parents Just Don't Understand," DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, 1988
Two rap hits about adolescents who are dissatisfied with their parents.  First, a New York trio hit #7 with a tune about being forced to go to school, prohibited from smoking, and having adult publications confiscated.  Then, two guys from Philadelphia reached #12 by complaining about having your mom's fashion choices foisted on you and getting in trouble for stealing Dad's car and getting arrested for speeding while in the inappropriate company of an underage girl.

Final Score: Party 41, Parents 38 (OT).  This may go down as the best game of the tournament.  Two young, hungry teams from historic rival cities, both determined to do anything to meet their goals.  Both teams racked up a lot of offense, but in the end, the Beasties pulled out the overtime win because they were completely unrestrained, while their opponents were made to face the limits of what they could do.

THE SILLY SIXTIES SONGS BOWL
"The Clapping Song," Pia Zadora, 1983
vs. "Iko Iko," The Belle Stars, 1989
Two covers of nonsensical hits from two decades earlier.  An infamous actress and singer hit #36 with a cover of a Shirley Ellis song about animals with human vices and girls who miss out on gifts because they kiss soldiers.  Later, an all-female British group got to #14 with their version of a New Orleans Mardi Gras song that the Dixie Cups had a hit with in 1965.

Final Score: Clapping 27, Iko 24.  The Stars had a lot of fire, but they also attracted a lot of flags, which isn't good in this game.  There has been some speculation that some of those penalties may have been influenced by some monetary inducement from Clapping ownership, but nothing has been proven, so we have to concede that Zadora and her team won the game on talent alone.  For now.

THE SCARY STORIES BOWL
"The Legend of Wooley Swamp," The Charlie Daniels Band, 1980
vs, "Dr. Heckyll and Mr. Jive," Men at Work, 1983
Two hits that tell scary stories. First, country rocker Daniels and co. got to #31 with the tale of an old miser who gets revenge on the men who robbed and killed him from beyond the grave.  Then, those Aussies are back again with their spin on Robert Louis Stevenson's tale of a scientist creating a serum that unleashes a different side of his personality.

Final Score: Swamp 28, Heckyll 17.  The Swamp people took a big lead in the first half, as the Heckyll side seemed to be playing too timidly.  They seemed like a completely different team in the second half, and it appeared that they just might steal the win.  But their offense mysterious bogged down halfway through the fourth quarter, and the Wooley boys move on.

THE EXOTIC LOCALES BOWL
"Rock the Casbah," The Clash, 1983
vs. "One Night in Bangkok," Murray Head, 1985
Two songs that take place in non-Western countries.  First, the English punk legends hit #8 with a song about a Middle Eastern ruler who tries to band rock music in his country.  Then, the actor-singer who sang the role of Judas on the original Jesus Christ Superstar LP got to #3 with a song from the concept album Chess about an important match taking place in the capital of the former Siam.

Final Score: Bangkok 38, Casbah 21.  The Head team won with superior strategy and cerebral play calling.  But the Clash side were happy enough to have gotten to play, and they decided to celebrate their effort afterward, whey

THE LOSING MY MARBLES BOWL
"Go Insane," Lindsey Buckingham, 1984
vs. "Crazy in the Night (Barking at Airplanes)," Kim Carnes, 1985
Two songs about being unhinged.  Fleetwood Mac's guitarist got to #23 with a song about being driven off the deep end by relationship drama.  Then, L.A. singer Carnes made it to #15 with a number about being afraid to go to sleep.

Final Score: Crazy 33, Insane 13. There was am unhinged quality to the play of both teams, but the Carnes team shut down all attempts at an air attack, and the Buckingham bunch lost their power to come back.  The losing side packed up their gear immediately after their game, and they were overheard saying that they were heading down "the holiday road."

THE ROYAL INSANITY BOWL
"Delirious," Prince, 1983
vs, "Let's Go Crazy," Prince, 1984
Two more songs about mental instability, both by a challenge from Minnesota.  First, he hit #8 with a tune about being knocked off kilter by proximity to the object of his affection.  Then he went all the way to the top with an invitation to go nuts with the time wwe have left on Earth.

Final Score: Crazy 55, Delirious 9.  The Crazy team were fired up by a rousing pregame speech, and they subsequently dominated their opponents, who got all their yardage on the ground because they just couldn't make a pass.

THE WHAT IS THIS "RAPPING" THAT YOU SPEAK OF BOWL
"Rapper's Delight," The Sugarhill Gang, 1980
vs. "Rapture," Blondie, 1981
Two of the earliest instances of hip-hop penetrating the Top 40.  First, a New York trio reached #36 by rhyming and boasting over Chic's "Good Times." Then, Debbie Harry and her band went to #1 with a number on which she raps about a Martian with a ravenous appetite with things that end in "ar."

Final Score: Delight 42, Rapture 28.  The Blondie team ate up a lot of ground, and the Sugarhill tgangwere jumping and banging in an exciting first half.  But the Rapture squad seemed to be feeling unwell in the second half, reportedly as the result of some bad food they were too polite to not eat.  They spent the fourth quarter downing Kaopectate, while the Rappers appeared able to go on and on until the break of dawn.

THE SICK OF MYSELF BOWL
"You Be Illin'," Run-DMC, 1986
vs. "Me Myself and I," De la Soul, 1989
Two rap hits with comedic edges.  The pioneering trio from Hollis, Queens hit #29 with a song about a guy who orders a Big Mac from KFC and doesn't realize his delicious meaty dinner is dog food. Later, a threesome from Long Island got to #34 with a track about being proud of their atypical style of dress.

Final Score: Illin' 37, Myself 15.  Even though the DMC team seemed confused at times, sometimes trying to slam dunk the ball over the goalposts or hit it with a baseball bat, their enthusiasm was enough to get past De La, who decided to only kick field goals because they believe 3 is a magic number.

THE STRANGE DANCING BOWL
"Shake for the Sheik," The Escape Club, 1989
vs. "Stand," R.E.M., 1989
Two songs about where and how one might dance.  First, a London band hit #28 with a song about shaking it for a rich Arab amid spies and missiles.  Then, the pride of Athens, Georgia reached #6 singing about a dance that involves facing particular directions and keeping your feet on the ground.

Final Score: Stand 27, Shake 10.  The R.E.M. boys were able to find their way to scoring opportunities by watching the sky and even using orienteering equipment.  That was a more successful approach than what their opponents did, which was just run around wildly until they hurt themselves.