October 1984. ITV debuts a television series based on a series of children's books about a tank engine named Thomas. It has proved to be really useful to parents of young children everywhere. Less practical, but possibly more entertaining, were the songs in the charts.
40 - "Cath," The Bluebells
The Scots' third hit was this jangly tune about a disappointing experience with a woman. Catchy indie-pop for those times when that is precisely what's required.
39 - "White Lines (Don't Do It)," Grandmaster and Melle Mel
First of all, in spite of the credit, this is a Melle Mel solo outing, with no participation from his Furious Five cohort Grandmaster Flash. Aside from that, it's a rap-funk classic about the danger and allure of cocaine. The song manages to sound serious even when it's saying "rang-dang-diggity-dang-a-dang." A great record, despite the fact that history has given the lie to the claim that "athletes reject it."
38 - "Missing You," John Waite
The big solo smash for the ex-Baby and future Bad Englishman was a North American #1 and a Top Ten in his homeland. 80s pop-rock distilled to its essence, with the high voice on the choruses and the synth bubbling along in the background. 1984 crystallized in four-and-a-half minutes.
37 - "Tour de France," Kraftwerk
Another spin for the German electro pioneers' ode to bicycle racing. It may be the only thing about the titular event that remains untainted.
36 - "I'll Fly for You," Spandau Ballet
The ninth Top Ten for the Islington band was this jazz-pop pledge to do the impossible in the name of love. They were becoming something close to a lounge act, but they sounded so good at it that I can't hold it against them.
35 - "Talking in Your Sleep," Bucks Fizz
The eleventh Top 40 for the pop quartet was this cover of a song that was a big North American hit for The Romantics earlier in the year. A bloodless cover. I'm glad they never tried "What I Like About You."
34 - "Mystery," Dio
The first hit for the band named for the American ex-Black Sabbath singer born Ronald Padavona was this hard rock love song about the enigmatic nature of love. A change from his usual material, and a mere 1.5 on the Headbangometer. But Dio had already earned the right to an occasional break from the infernal darkness, so I don't mind this at all.
33 - "Self Control," Laura Branigan
Laura's venture into a sexually charged nightlife went Top Five in the U's, but we nasty Canadians made it a #1. When we drop our polite facades, we don't mess around. Another surprise: I have this a full point higher on the Headbangometer than the Dio song. Never saw that coming.
32 - "Skin Deep," The Stranglers
The Guildford punk vets scored yet another hit with this hypnotic New Waver about being cautious about friends who may not be what they appear. These guys are a great example of a band adjusting its sound over time while always feeling authentic. A difficult trick.
31 - "Like to Get to Know You Well," Howard Jones
The Southamptonian's fourth Top Ten was this song about the importance of people learning about each other. Apparently he dedicated this to "the original spirit of the Olympic Games." Obviously the then-recent Los Angeles edition was flawed in that way due to political boycotts, but one wonders how true to this ideal the modern Games have ever been. But this is reflective of the oft-naive worldview of Jones' music. It can be annoying if your not in the mood to hear it, but I am usually charmed.
30 - "Passengers," Elton John
Sir Elton's eighth home Top Five was this stab at reggae. The lyrics seem to be about injustice and oppression. It's an interesting attempt, but it doesn't quite work for me.
29 - "The Medicine Song," Stephanie Mills
The American soul singer's second and last Top 40 here was this dance pop prescription for something that will make you feel better. From what I gather, there are no pills involved, but their will be time spent in bed, and some kind of injection may be involved. It's sex. She thinks you should have sex. With her.
28 - "No More Lonely Nights," Paul McCartney
The hit ballad from Macca's ill-advised Give My Regards to Broad Street film. A straightforward, sincere love song. Did he write too many of these? Maybe. But this isn't one of the ones I'd cut if I had such power,
27 - "Hot Water," Level 42
More noodly synth-jazz from Mark King and co. It's about kids who rebel through music. I'm not sure Level 42 is the ideal music for teenage defiance, but this is one of their more distinctive tunes, so I'll give it a cautious endorsement.
26 - "Tesla Girls," Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
OMD are here with a song that seems to be about women who are really into the work of a certain Serbian-American engineer and inventor. Regardless, it's fun, catchy synth pop. And I like it better than anything by the band Tesla. Just personal taste.
25 - "Mr. Solitaire," Animal Nightlife
The first hit by this British group was this pop tune about a woman leaving her selfish man. I think. Not really feeling this. It's like third string Spandau Ballet.
24 - "Master and Servant," Depeche Mode
The fifth Top Ten for the Essex boys was this not-at-all veiled ode to BDSM sex. Apparently, it only got approved by the BBC because the one DJ who would have vetoed it was away that day. It's as darkly subversive as you'd imagine, and it even explains the appeal of such activity, in that it is a place where you can experience the subjugation you feel in your everyday existence, while having much more control. Or to put it another way, "it's a lot like life."
23 - "Madam Butterfly," Malcolm McLaren
The impresario's disco-rock Coles notes of the Puccini opera that we first encountered in Canada. Cio-Cio is still hopeful at the end of this version. That one way to be saved by pop.
22 - "Smooth Operator," Sade
Helen Adu and her band's immortal jazzy gigolo jam. Top Five on North America, but only #19 here. They were not so easily seduced. But if the song were the person it describes, it would have merely shrugged and moved on to the next conquest.
21 - "Together in Electric Dreams," Giorgio Moroder and Phil Oakey
Producer Moroder teamed up with Human League singer Oakey on this song from a movie about a computer that becomes sentient after champagne is spilled on it, and then competes with its owner for the affections of a woman. Yeah, that happened. It's a nice enough song, but both men have done better.
In Part Two: tools, frills, rockets and more.
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