An Old Man Abroad: UKT40 April 13, 1974 Part One

Spring 1974. This month, Britain hosted the Eurovision Song Contest, which was won by Swedish upstarts ABBA with “Waterloo.”  Whatever happened to them?  Certainly they never did anything as well-remembered as the following:

40 - "He's Misstra Know-It-All," Stevie Wonder

Stevie’s seventh Top Ten here was this funk-pop tribute to a slick con artist.  This one wasn’t as explicitly about Nixon as follow-up “You Haven’t Done Nothin’,” but come on, Tricky Dick has to be “the man with a plan with a counterfeit dollar in his hand.”

39 - "Year of Decision," The Three Degrees

The Philly trio’s first U.K. hut was this funky call to their fellow African-Americans to take charge of their lives, because “people have died to set you free.”  The more I hear from them, the more I know I was right about their greatness just from hearing “When Will I See You Again.”

38 - "Ma, He's Making Eyes at Me," Lena Zavaroni

This daughter of a couple who ran a chip shop in the small Scottish town of Rothesay became famous at the age of ten with her appearances on the talent show Opportunity Knocks.  She subsequently released this cover of a 1921 song about being aggressively romantically pursued.  Perhaps now that would not fly given her age, but at the time all the focus was on her big, boisterous voice, which got her some attention in America, including an appearance on The Tonight Show.  But she failed  to break the U.S., and although she would later host some variety shows, she didn’t have much more chart success, and she would suffer through mental health issues and personal tragedies until her untimely death in 1999.  Another casualty of child stardom, sadly.

37 - "Jealous Mind," Alvin Stardust

The first Stardust single actually performed by Bernard Jewry was this glamabilly tune that sounded quite similar to its predecessor.  And it became his only #1. That seems fair and proper.

36 - "Long-Legged Woman Dressed in Black," Mungo Jerry 

The chaos from Colpington had their last hit of the decade with this old-school rocker about being constantly rejected by the titular lady.  Maybe she didn’t like the penchant for impaired driving they revealed in “In the Summertime.”

35 - "The Entertainer," Marvin Hamlisch 

Didn’t we just see this guy?  Oh well, I am still entertained.

34 - "Listen to the Music," The Doobie Brothers 

The Doobs’ first hit here.  Still okay, let it play.

33 - "Remember," The Bay City Rollers

The tartan-clad boy band had their second Brit hit with this tune about nostalgia and young love.  Shimmy shammy shong, indeed.

32 - "The Way We Were," Barbra Streisand 

The Can-Am charttopper was held to #31 here.  Triple Crown denied, with authority!

31 - "The Sting," The Ragtimers
I can’t figure out who these guys were, but their take on “The Entertainer” swings harder than Hamlisch.  I like it a lot.

30 - "Ma-Ma-Ma-Belle," Electric Light Orchestra 

ELO’s fourth hit was this lusty rocker that has nothing to do with the phone company.  And T. Rex’s Marc Bolan played guitar on it, and you can somehow hear him provide that extra oomph.

29 - "I Know What I Like  (In Your Wardrobe)," Genesis

Their first Top 40 (and the only one they’d have with Peter Gabriel) was this tale of a groundskeeper at a fancy country house who is more content with his station in life than the people around him think he should be.  It would have been interesting to see how they would have evolved if Pete had stayed around.  I think I’d have liked it.

28 - "It's You," Freddie Starr 

Before he became a comedian famous enough to make news for allegedly eating a hamster, Starr was a member of a lesser Liverpool beat group, and after he broke through as a comic he managed a hit with this maudlin ballad about losing a lover.  As nauseating as Bobby Goldsboro’s “Honey,” and his voice sounds like Terry Jacks.  Puketastic.

27 - "Jet," Wings 

Macca’s fifth Top Ten with his other band was this fun rocker inspired by his black Labrador.  I don’t think the dog tried to get her fellow canines the vote, though.

26 - "Wombling Song," The Wombles 

A “Womble” is a fictional furry creature who cleans up the litter left behind by humans and repurposes it for his own use.  They first appeared in children’s books in the 60s, then were brought to television as puppets first, and from there they were made into a music act.  They had several hits, the firsr being the theme to their TV series.  Jaunty kiddie pop about picking up trash with someone named “Uncle Bulgaria.”  Yeah, that’s an Uneasy Rider.

25 - "You're Sixteen," Ringo Starr

Ringo does an oldie.  It’s a big hit.  Wouldn’t fly today.

24 - "The Air That I Breathe," The Hollies

Their last first-release Top Ten.  A romantic masterpiece.

23 - "A Walkin' Miracle," Limmie and Family Cookin'

The third and final hit by these Ohioans was this cover of a 1963 hit by The Essex about an extraordinary man.  Hardly miraculous.

22 - "Homely Girl," The Chi-Lites

A Top Five from this Chicago group about how they were in love with a girl back when she was an unattractive child, and is now reminding her of that now that she’s a beautiful girl with her pick of suitors.  Not sure about the sexual politics of this now, but I don’t think anything sinister was intended at the time.

21 - "Everlasting Love," Robert Knight 
Yes, this song again, this time in its original 1967 form, which was re-released here around the time that Carl Carlton’s cover was hitting in the States.  And yes, this is the best version.

In Part Two:  remakes, future remake subjects, and a song that out-nauseates Freddie Starr.