Wednesday, April 18, 2018

An Old Man Abroad: UKT40 April 13, 1974 Part Two

The end of it.

20 - “Remember You’re a Womble,” The Wombles
More from the puppet creatures.  This one’s about appreciating who you are.  Kind of a mix between glam and Merseybeat, with a little country thrown in.  The better of the two Wombling entries on this chart.

19 - “Candle in the Wind,” Elton John 
The original Marilyn-centric version.  Sometimes you forget how good it really is.

18 - “The Golden Age of Rock ‘n Roll,” Mott the Hoople
Mott’s last Top 20 was this tune declaring that rock was never better than it was at that moment.  Not the usual take, and they do a good job convincing me on this.

17 - “Rock Around the Clock,” Bill Haley and His Comets
The Happy Days-inspired reissue of the rock launcher.  Still important, still fun.

16 - “School Love,” Barry Blue
Mr. Blue’s third hit was retro-glam about childhood romance.  The sincerity and the catchiness sell it.

15 - “I’m Gonna Knock on Your Door,” Little Jimmy Osmond
 The third and final U.K. hit for the young Mormon was this cover of a 1961 Eddie Hodges hit about threatening to cause a ruckus if a girl doesn’t come out to kiss him.   Cute then, a little creepy now.

14 - “Doctor’s Orders,” Sunny
Heather “Sunny” Wheatman had been a prolific session sister as part of the duo “Sunny and Sue” with sister Yvonne.  But it wasn’t until striking out on her own that she would have a major hit with this pop prescription for sexual healing.  It’s the same song that Carol Douglas would take to #1 in Canada the next year.  Carol was more convincing.  This is mildly seductive.

13 - “Jambalaya,” Carpenters 
Richard and Karen covered Hank Williams’ 1952 tune about good times on the Louisiana Bayou.  They’re having fun, and that makes it better than you’d think.  But it is odd to think of these two drinking liquor out of Mason jars.

12 - “I Get a Little Sentimental Over You,” The New Seekers
The sixth and final Top Five for the bunch that taught the world to sing was this showy old-pop number about pining for an ex.  They show more spunk here than a lot of others do in this genre.

11 - “Long Live Love,” Olivia Newton-John
As I mentioned at the start of Part One, England hosted this year’s Eurovision, and “Waterloo” won.  The home team was represented by ONJ singing this marchy number about people being happy and united and loving each other while singing along with “The Sally Annie band.” It’s positive nonsense, elevate a bit by Olivia’s raw talent.  But I can’t say it deserved better than the three-way tie for fourth place it managed.

Top Ten to London, non-stop.

10 - “Seven Seas of Rhye,” Queen
The rock royals got their first hit with this mini epic on which Freddie portrays a world-conquering man of action and intrigue.  He never really stopped playing that role, did he? And thank God for that.

9 - “The Most Beautiful Girl,” Charlie Rich
The Silver Fox missed a Triple Crown by one place here.  He deserved better.  Especially when you see the likes of what actually did top this chart.

8 - “The Cat Crept In,” Mud
The Surrey glammers got their third Top Five with this song about a lady whose sudden appearances and disappearances cause commotions among menfolk.  If you’re looking for archetypal glam rock, you couldn’t do much better.

7 - “You Are Everything,” Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye
The original Stylistics classic did not chart here in ‘71, but Diana and Marvin brought it over and got a Top Five out of it.  They bring their own specialnesses to it, making it its own fantastic soul sensation.

6 - “Emma,” Hot Chocolate 
Their first Top Five was this rock melodrama about a woman destroyed by her failed dreams of stardom.  It’s probably the best thing they ever did, all things considered.

5 - “Angel Face,” The Glitter Band
Yes, this band was originally formed to back up the infamous Gary, but they would manage a string of hits on their own, beginning with this strutting tribute to a lady’s otherworldly beauty.  I love this, and as a bonus, there’s no unsavoury aftertaste.

4 - “Everyday,” Slade
The glam kings’ tenth straight Top Ten saw them try a love ballad about affirming love in spite of long periods of separation.  It’s a nice listen, though there are hints that the singer doesn’t see faithfulness as a two-way street, and that’s troubling.

3 - “Remember Me This Way,” Gary Glitter 
The creep is back, and this time there’s no inner conflict, because the song is an objectively terrible attempt at an Elvis-style ballad.  As yucky as the man himself.

2 - “Billy Don’t Be a Hero,” Paper Lace
The original version, which these guys took to the top here before Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods would do the same in the States.  This is the better one.  It conveys the drama of the situation better, and actually has a woman pleading to Billy to stay out of the fray.  I’m glad the Lacers did get their own American charttopper with “The Night Chicago Died,” but they really should have had two.

1 - “Seasons in the Sun,” Terry Jacks
I cannot overemphasize how horrible this is.  It’s sad, but the kind of sad that makes you apathetic instead of empathetic.  I didn’t even listen to it again for this.  I couldn’t put myself through it.  This has to be the worst Triple Crown winner ever.

Another one down.  Next time: more tournament action!  See you soon.

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