GATW: UKT40 January 3, 1981 Part Two

This is a day for endings.

20 - "The Tide is High," Blondie
Debbie and Co. go reggae, hit #1 on both sides of the Atlantic.   Well, she said right in the song "I'm gonna be your Number One," so...

19 - "Over the Rainbow," Matchbox
The fifth and last hit for these Middlesex retro rockers was this doo-wop cover of the signature song from The Wizard of Oz.  They throw in a bit of the pop standard "You Belong to Me" in the middle, but that's the only halfway interesting thing about this.

18 - "Love on the Rocks," Neil Diamond
Maybe the best thing to come out of that whole "Let's remake an Al Jolson movie with Neil Diamond and cast Lucien Arnaz as his love interest" experiment.  Cocaine is a helluva drug...

17 - "Never Mind the Presents," The Barron Knights
Our second encounter with these guys comes with their last hit, a Christmas-themed parody medley.  The first part spoofs "Another Brick in the Wall Part II,"  The other two I don't recognize and don't care  to look up.  Bland, inoffensive comedy.

16 - "To Cut a Long Story Short," Spandau Ballet
The first hit for these New Romantic stalwarts was this synthpop bouncer about paranoia and insanity.  It is kind of a shame that these guys are only known around my way for "True."

15 - "Flash," Queen
One of the band's campier hits was this theme to the film version of the space-set comic strip Flash Gordon.  Could there be a better fit to score a tongue-in-cheek sci-fi epic?  Absolutely not.  Ah-aaaaah!

14 - "Lady," Kenny Rogers
The Lionel Richie-penned ballad was K-Rog's first American #1, but didn't even reach the Top Ten here.  But he had already topped the British list twice, with "Lucille" and "She Believes in Me."  I like both better than this.  Brittania rules again.

13 - "Rabbit," Chas and Dave
Charles Hodges and David Peacock made their name with their distinctive "rockney" sound, which combined rock with Cockney accents and rhyming slang.  Their first Top Ten was this piano driven romp about an otherwise attractive lady who speaks too much ("rabbit" being short for "rabbit and pork," which is Cockney for "talk").  Fun song, and the whole Cockney slang thing fascinates me.

12 - "Lies," Status Quo
The Brit institution had another hit with this straight ahead rocker about not trusting gossip about you lover. I think that's it.  Good stuff.  Sadly, the band's guitarist Dave Parfitt died on Christmas Eve.  2016 has been absolutely brutal.

11 - "Banana Republic," The Boomtown Rats
The Irish band's fourth and last Top Five was this reggaefied portrait of their homeland as a "septic isle" full of repression and corruption.  They were so outspoken about the country's issues that they had been banned from performing there.  Bob Geldof was never shy about making bold statementstatement, as the world would soon learn.

10 - "Runaway Boys," The Stray Cats
This Long Island trio moved to England in 1979 and became the targets of a major label bidding war.  They scored their first hit with this rockabilly groove that's like the pop-single equivalent of a 1950s juvenile delinquent novel.  It would be two more years before the group broke through at home, but this song was never released as a single there.  Too bad.  I think it's better than their other hits.

9 - "Imagine," John Lennon
The iconic 1971 anthem wasn't released as a single in Britain until 1975, when it reached #6.  It returned to the charts after Lennon's December 8 murder, and would become his second U.K. #1 in January.   A poignant song gained even more meaning that day, for better or worse.

8 - "Embarrassment," Madness
The fifth hit for the Camden Town skasters was this song written by saxophonist Lee Thompson about his family's negative reaction to his teenage sister becoming pregnant by a black man.  A powerful depiction of shame and fear.  Happily, in real life, the family came around.

7 - "Antmusic," Adam and the Ants
The band's second hit was this jaunty invitation for music listeners to "unplug the jukebox," turn away from disco, and "try another flavor," namely their own brand of new wave.  Fun, bopping stuff.

6 - "De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da," The Police
One of their sharper songs has a nonsensical title.  As a wise man once said, the ironing is delicious.

5 - "Super Trouper," ABBA
The Swedes' ninth and final U.K. Number One was this deceptively bouncy pop song about the loneliness of a touring musician  (the song's title is a type of spotlight used in large concert venues).  I had that album as a kid, and while it's still well behind the majesty of "The Winner Takes it All," it's grown on me over the years.  "Su pah-PAH, Trou pah-PAH."

4 - "Happy Xmas (War is Over)," John Lennon and Yoko Ono
As Lennon's death happened in December, it was natural that another of his old songs that attracted devastated fans was his and Yoko's 1971 Christmas plea for peace and unity.  It's an attractive concept, that war can be eradicated "if you want it," but I guess people think it too good to be true.  And maybe it is.  But what if...?

3 - "Stop the Cavalry," Jona Lewie
Southampton's Lewie began as a blues musician in the late 60s, but found his biggest success with this deceptively peppy synthpop antiwar song.  The line about wishing to be home for Christmas helped its popularity for sure, but it's interesting enough that it would have likely made an impact anyway.

2 - "(Just Like) Starting Over," John Lennon
Of course, one of the many tragedies of John's death was that he had just released his first new music in five years, this rockabillyish number about wanting to restore intimacy to a relationship.  As of December 8, it had peaked at #8 in Britain and was on the way down, but after that, it reversed course and became his first U.K. charttopper.  It deserved to do so without that tragic circumstance.  It's a simple yet masterful love song.

And the winner of this particular holiday race was...

1 - "There's No One Quite Like Grandma," St. Winifred's School Choir
The children's chorus from this Stockport Catholic primary school had impacted the charts two years earlier when they backed up Brian and Michael's #1 "Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs."  This year, record producer Gordon Lorenz had the choir perform his maudlin ode to grandmothers as a tribute to the Queen Mother on her 80th birthday.  It's insanely sappy, and the lead child sounds almost Chipmunk-esque, buy apparently that's what Britain longed for at the time.  Myself, I'm just going to give it the Uneasy Rider and then never listen to it again.

Well there we go.  Hope you all had a merry Christmas, all the best for 2017, and I will be back with more of this kind of thing very soon.

GATW: UKT40 January 3, 1981

It's been a while, but I'm back, and I'm taking my first look at a Christmas chart.  Having the U.K. #1 single at Christmas carries a certain amount of prestige in Britain, and so I thought I'd take a look at one of those contests.  So here we gogo to Yuletide 1980.  British music was reeling from the murder of John Lennon earlier in the month, and his presence was certainly felt on the charts.  Plus there was ska.  Plenty of ska.

40 - "Runaround Sue," Racey
The last major hit for this Somerset group was a straight cover of Dion's 1961 hit about a serially unfaithful young lady.  Certainly up there among the most pointless cover versions I've ever heard.

39 -"Never Knew Love Like This Before," Stephanie Mills
Her biggest hit on both sides of the Atlantic.  And, as I may have mentioned before, she once dated Michael Jackson.

38 - "The Earth Dies Screaming, UB40
Their third hit was this deceptively gentle reggae tune about some sort of apocalyptic event that leaves in its wake desolation, abandoned cars, and death.  Lots and lots of death.  And a merry Christmas to you gentlemen as well.  Aside from that, one of their better songs.

37 - "If I Could Only Make You Care," Mike Berry
This Northampton actor and singer had his greatest success in the 60s aping Buddy Holly.  He came back with a couple hits this year, including this limp country tune.  Suffice it to say, he doesn't get what he hopes from me.

36 - "Lorraine," Bad Manners
This London ska band, fronted by flamboyant singer Buster Bloodvessel, had nine Top 40s in the early 80s.  The fourth of these was this bouncy tale of Bloodvessel falling in love with a girl who ends up stealing all of his possessions, which causes him to say "When I find her, I'm gonna kill her."  Then he finds Lorraine, they exchange blows, talk things out, and then have sex, which eliminates all homicidal thoughts toward her from Buster's mind.  Silly, but catchy.

35 - "I'm Coming Out." Diana Ross
Miss Ross comes out of her shell.  Remember before when she was shy and retiring and faded into the background?  You don't?  Wonder why?

34 - "Blue Moon," Showaddywaddy
The Leicester group's last four chart hits failed to crack the Top 30, a trend that began with this cover of the Rogers and Hart standard that is used as a theme not by their hometown Foxes, but rather Manchester City.  Wonder if that was part of the problem. As for the version, my thoughts on Racey's entry here can be applied to this as well.

33 - "Looking for Clues," Robert Palmer
Palmer had already had two Top 40s in America when he scored his first one at home with this stuttery rocker about trying to understand a relationship.  Nice little xylophone solo.  This only got this high here, and didn't chart well in the U.S., but it did go Top Ten in Canada.  My homeland for the win, for once.

32 - "December Will be Magic Again," Kate Bush
The ethereal girl put her own twist on the holiday song, combining Bing Crosby and Oscar Wilde while just being all floaty and Bushy.  It's all her, and all wonderful.

31 - "Who's Gonna Rock You," The Nolans
Our second encounter with these Irish sisters is this tepid disco number about lamenting a dying relarionship while people around you are apartying.  Dressed- up blandness at its meh-est.

30 - "I Could be So Good for You," Dennis Waterman
London-born actor Waterman had built a steady career through the 60s and 70s, but it was around this time when he landed his most famous role as the bodyguard lead character in the TV series Minder.  The show's popularity was such that its Waterman-sung theme tune became a Top Five hit.  It's a nifty little piano boogie, and Waterman sounds a bit like Billy Joel on it. I enjoy it.

29 - "It's Hard to be Humble," Mac Davis
The biggest of Davis' two Brit hits was this live recording of an ode to egotism.  "I can't wait to look in the mirror," he sings, "'cause I get better looking each day."  A fun little singalong, and good for an ego boost.

28 - "This Wreckage," Gary Numan
Numan's fifth U.K. solo hit was this dark, icy midtempo tune about alternatively craving and fearing isolation.  That seems pretty quintessential for this guy.  There are definitely moods where I would feel the need to hear a song like this.

27 - Rock n' Roll Ain't Noise Pollution," AC/DC
The most successful U.K. single from the massive Back in Black LP was this good, loud rock song about good, loud rock music.  Brian Johnson's voice is more growly than screechy on a lot of this, which works perfectly.  An appropriate album-closer.

26 "Don't Walk Away," Electric Light Orchestra
The band's fourth Xanadu single (not released in the U.S.) was this ballad that accompanied an animated sequence in the film where Olivia Newton-John and Michael Beck's characters turn into fish and birds..  Again I say this is a weird-ass movie surely crafred with much chemical assistance.  And again I admit I saw this in a theater as a youngster crushing on ONJ.

25 - "Celebration," Kool and the Gang
Every time you buy one of Al Gore's books, he plays this song.  I have this on very good authority.

24 - "Do Nothing,"  The Specials
More ska, this time in the form of the sixth Top Ten by this Coventry band.  It's a loping track about feeling life is meaningless and searching for purpose in rhe wrong places.  A good song thT will certainly always be meaningful to someone.

23 - "Too Nice to Talk To," The Beat
Another ska hit, this one by the Birmingham band who had to add "English" to their name in America. This is a rollicking groove about romantic shyness.  It's among their best.  Not much more to say.

22 - "Lonely Together," Barry Manilow
The big BM (wait, that's not good) missed the 40 at home but made it here with this ballad about trying to hook up with a fellow reboundee.  Just him, doing what he does.

21 - "Do You Feel My Love," Eddy Grant
The second solo hit by the Guyana-born ex-Equal was this electro-reggae heartbreak number.  Pretty damn good.  It's too bad that for years all I was exposed to of him was "Electric Avenue" and "Romancing the Stone."

In Part Two:  sci-fi, insects, and of course, the song that became immortalized as a Christmas Number One.  Is it a classic?  A comedy novelty?  Or something else entirely?  We shall see.

GATW: UKT40 September 25, 1993

So at last, here's the rest.

20 - "The Key: The Secret," Urban Cookie Collective
The first and biggest of four Top 40s for this British dance group was this house track about having a key, and also a secret "to another way."  That pretty much sums up the lyric.  The backing track is pretty good, though.  A bit above average.

19 - "Here We Go," Stakka Bo
The only major international hit for Swede Bo Johan Renck was this pop/hip-hop number that rails against consumer culture.  Catchy, with an interesting if awkwardly-rapped message.  And one of the better post-disco uses of flute.  Renck has gone on to direct music videos and TV shows, including episodes of Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead.

18 - "Big Scary Animal," Belinda Carlisle
The ex-Go-Go was no longer having hits at home, but she was still charting regularly in Britain, scoring the fourteenth of her 19 Top 40s with this pop-rocker that compares romance to a ferocious beast.  She employs the rockier rasp in her voice more than she did on her American hits, and I like that.  I missed the edge.

17 - "Living on My Own," Freddie Mercury
This posthumous remix of a 1985 single became the legendary Queen frontman's only solo #1.  It's a dance-rocker about loneliness and longing for better days.  Not a strong song, but Freddie's outsized charisma sells it.

16 - "Faces," 2 Unlimited
The seventh of 14 U.K. hits for the Dutch dance group known for their sports arena-friendly tracks was this number featuring a rap about accepting each other and things of that nature.  The music is a little darker-sounding than their more familiar hits, but I think it makes for a better song that doesn't become an annoying earworm in the "Get Ready for This" or "No Limit" vein.

15 - "Dreamlover," Mariah Carey
This was her seventh #1 in the U.S., but only her third Top Ten here.  Meh, it's okay, as she goes.  She is what she is.

14 - "Rubberband Girl," Kate Bush
The ethereal chanteuse had another hit with this, er, bouncy pop song about a desire to be elastic.  The kind of strangeness you want from her, and in this field, that's good enough for an Uneasy Rider.

13 - "Creep," Radiohead
The first major hit for the Oxford band who became one of the most acclaimed and influential groups of the last quarter-century was this grungy rock blast about the love/hate relationship a stalker has with the object of  his obsession.  For a while, the band seemed dismayed by its popularity and shunned performing it live, but they seemed to have reclaimed it in recent years.  As they should, because it's just this perfect little rock song.

12 - "It Must Have Been Love," Roxette
A re-release of the Swedes' 1990 Pretty Woman monster hit.  Still one of their less interesting efforts to these ears.

11 - "The River of Dreams," Billy Joel
His last Top Five on both sides of the Atlantic was this sprightly, gospellish number about spiritual searching.  My main thought about this is that Paul Simon did stuff like this better.

10 - "On the Ropes EP," The Wonder Stuff
This band from the West Midlands picked up thirteen Top 40 hits between '88 and '94.  Number ten was this EP whose title track is a rock song about the battle between artistic and commercial instincts.  I think that's it.  Very good, er, stuff, and I'm more interested to check out their other material now than I was when they were kind of a fringe band on the playlist of Toronto "modern rock" station CFNY.

9 - "Condemnation," Depeche Mode
This latest hit from the Essex synth stars was this gospel-tinged ballad about always feeling unjustly persecuted.  This could be Donald Trump's campaign song.  When will we stop being so unfair to that kind, respectful, warm, and loving humanitarian?

8 - "Life," Haddaway
The first of three other U.K. Top Tens from the man who gave us "What is Love," is this dance tune about romantic uncertainty.  Some definite similarities to his best-known hit, but more minor chords and electric guitar.  Decent, but it's easy to see why it's not the perennial that other song is.

7 - "It Keeps Rainin' (Tears from My Eyes)," Bitty McLean
Given his nickname due to his diminutive stature, Birmingham-born Delroy McLean began a two-year run of hits with this dancehall cover of a 1961 Fats Domino song about being left by a lover.  It's okay, even if the toasting bits seem superfluous.  I should look up the original, though.

6 - "She Don't Let Nobody," Chaka Demus and Pliers
The Jamaican duo of emcee John Taylor and singer Everton Bonner had the second of sic Brit hits with this ode to a faithful lady.  Pleasant reggae-pop, no more or less.

5 - "Right Here,/Human Nature" SWV
Sisters With Voices transatlantic Michael Jackson-assisted Top Five.  Okay.

4 - "Movin' on Up," M People
This Manchester dance group had a whopping 19 hits in the 90s, the biggest being this one, which reached #2.  This is a frankly brilliant update of classic disco, with singer Heather Small delivering a powerhouse vocal about leaving an inadequate lover.  I will admit that I liked this song so much that it was the sole reason I acquired the soundtrack to The Full Monty back in the day.  Ah, the strange things we did for one song back in the pre-everything on demand world.

3 - "Mr. Vain," Culture Beat
This German group formed by Frankfurt DJ Torsten Fenslau had one of the bigger Eurodance hits of the decade with this international charttopper.  It's a catchy beat over which rapper Jay Supreme boasts of how irresistable his sexual prowess is to the female of the species.  It's definitely one of the songs in the genre that stands out and has some legs.

2 - "Go West," The Pet Shop Boys
The London synthpop duo of Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe have had some success in America, but at home they have been prolific hitmakers, scoring 42 Top 40 hits to date, including this cover of a 1979 Village People song about heading to a "promised land," often interpreted as San Francisco given the group's not-exactly-disguised homosexuality.  The Boys' version is impressively epic-sounding, even incorporating an all-male Broadway choir on backing vocals.  It's quite rousing and inspirational, and blows away the original.

And topping the charts way back when was...

1 - "Boom! Shake the Room," Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince.
The duo of Jeff Townes and Will Smith (who had by this time dropped the words "DJ" and "The" from their name) never charted higher than #4 at home (with 1991's "Summertime"), but they managed a charttopper here with this harder-edged track.  Smith's rap is shoutier than it had been before (and would be afterward), but it doesn't seem like a pose, and it works for the song.  They wanted to be taken more seriously, but not too much more seriously, and this was an effective effort. A solid party jam.

There you have it.  I slowed down a bit there, but I'm not done, and I will return soon.  Stay tuned.

Gloves Across the Water: UKT40 September 25, 1993 Part One

I'm a bit behind, but still, I'm sticking with September 1993.  This was the month the U.K. Independence Party was formed.  Yep, the same people that brought you Brexit and that British guy who shows up at all the Trump rallies.  Thanks guys.  Meanwhile, on the charts...

40 - "Heaven Knows," Luther Vandross
The late soul legend had dozens of hits on both sides of the Atlantic, but many of them were only successful on one side or the other.  This one only made the 40 in Britain.  It's the kind of light, playful love-funk he specialized in.  Another chance to revisit a great voice.

39 - "Heart-Shaped Box," Nirvana
What would prove to be the Seattle trio's highest-charting U.K. hit was this sludgy rock number that seems to be a love song wrapped in visceral imagery about tar pits, carnivorous flowers, and cancer.  I would rate it as the most complete and effective song Kurt Cobain ever wrote.  It perfectly melds his passion and conflict with pop and rock structuring.  Unfortunately, we can't know if he ever would have topped it.

38 - "Sometimes," James
This Manchester band was formed in 1982, but they didn't break through until 1991 when they hit #2 with "Sit Down."  Their ninth Top 40 was this acoustic rocker about rain and the eyes being the windows to the soul.  Their seems to be a constant English niche for this sort of thing, and James were the gap-fillers of the moment.

37 - "She Kissed Me," Terence Trent D'Arby
The ex-U.S. military man turned soul star wasn't nearly as hot as he was in his late-80s heyday, but he could still crack the British Top 20 with songs like this rock song about a wild lady who kissed him and "put it there."  What she put where remains a mystery, and I like it that way.  For some reason, I feel like in some alternate universe, he and Lenny Kravitz switch career trajectories.

36 - "Now I Know What Made Otis Blue," Paul Young
The last Top 20 for this Luton blue-eyed soulster was this slick, Motownish tune about loneliness.  Serviceable and well-sung, but not much more than that.

35 - "Fascinated," Lisa B.
Brooklynite Lisa Barbuscia has had some success as a model and actress, and also scored a handful of hits in Britain, including this house cover of Company B.'s 1986 dance hit about being enamored with someone's "love toy."  I'm not inrtigued in the least.

34 - "Love Scenes," Beverley Craven
Born in Sri Lanka to a British Kodak employee, Craven had a brief early-90s run of hits, the fourth and last being this jealousy waltz.  It has a charm that belies its chart peak.

33 - "Move," Moby
New York DJ Richard Melville Hall took his stage name from his alleged relationship to the author of Moby Dick, and he became a star first in Britain in the early-90s with tracks like this house groove that has all the hallmarks, including the soul vocal sample.  It doesn't quite grab the non-dancing listener the way some of his later work would, but I'd say it's above average for the genre.

32 - "Two Steps Behind," Def Leppard
The Leps with an acoustic ballad about either devotion or stalking.  Hard to tell which.  It was from the soundtrack of the infamous Arnold Schwarzenegger disappointment Last Action Hero.  Magic ticket my ass, McBain!

31 - "Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia)," US3 featuring Rashaan
The only major hit for London jazz/hip-hop producer Geoff Wilkinson was this track that remixes a Herbie Hancock track and adds a rap from Rashaan Kelly.  Catchy and different, but not enough to have much of a shelf life.

30 - "Slave to the Vibe," Aftershock
British boy-band dance music.  The rapping isn't too bad, but just okay otherwise.

29 - "Jewel," Cranes
The biggest hit for these Portsmouth dream-poppers was this ethereal love song featuring the girlish vocals of singer Alison Shaw.  I feel like this song is trying to accomplish the same vibe as Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You" only not nearly as well.  Costume jewelry at best.

28 - "When You Gonna Learn," Jamiroquai
The debut hit by buffalo-hatted Jay Kay and co. was this enviro-funk number.  It doesn't add anything to what Marvin Gaye did with "Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology)."  Having a digeridoo on it doesn't really make a difference either.  I would never have predicted international stardom for this guy based on this

27 - "Ace of Spades," Motorhead
Formed in 1975 by Ian Kilmister, who would go on to be known the world over as "Lemmy," this band took rock to unprecedented speeds and volumes and became metal pioneers.  This was a reissue of their 1980 breakthrough hit, a guitar bomb about gambling and other risks.  It's just two-and-a-half minutes of amped-up, noisy, out-of-control rock n'roll.  Lemmy didn't have to do anything else in his life to be mourned as a legend, but he certainly did.  We won't forget the joker.

26 - "Everlasting Love," Worlds Apart
Another boy band with another cover of the song we last heard done by Rex Smith and Rachel Sweet.  I don't know why this is such a go-to for pop acts in search of a hit.  It's a good song and all, but still,  And this version makes me long for Sexy Rexy.  I can't forgive these guys for that.

25 - "Nuff Vibes EP," Apache Indian
Birmingham rapper Steven Kapur combined Indian bhangra with Jamaican dancehall to some success in the early 90s, most notably with this Top Five EP that featured the song "Boom Shack-a-Lak," a dance track that has been used in multiple movies and commercials since its release.  It's one of those songs that needed to exist but was never going to launch a career.

24 - "Higher Ground," UB40
The followup to their worldwide charttopping cover of "Can't Help Falling in Love" was this pop-reggae tune about appreciating nature.  I think that's it.  Not too bad, as their watered-down era output goes.

23 - "Heaven Help," Lenny Kravitz
Speaking of Lenny, his fifth hit here was this soul ballad about taking a chance on love.  Competent and earnest, but nothing special.  That describes a lot of his stuff, actually.

22 - "One Woman," Jade
Third of four Brit hits for this American R&B trio.  Basic ballad about wanting a man to be faithful.  Like a poor man's En Vogue.

21 - "One Goodbye in Ten," Shara Nelson
After singing lead on the Massive Attack classic "Unfinished Sympathy," Londoner Nelson would score five solo Top 40s, the second being this bit of old-school heartbreak soul.  Great song, great singer, nothing more to say.

In Part Two: city biscuits, elastic femininity, and proud narcissism.

GATW: UKT40 September 19, 1981 Part Two

But wait, there's more!

20 - "One of Those Nights," Bucks Fizz
This group's third hit was another bit of ABBAishness about being depressed about losing a lover.  Well, it's better than another medley.

19 - "So This is Romance," Linx
The fourth and last Top 40 for this British soul group in which singer David Grant talks about how his cousin's girlfriend cheated on him.  That's different, and it's also kinda catchy.  Grant apparently is now a vocal coach for TV singing competitions.  Good for him.

18 - "Abacab," Genesis
The now-trio's third UK Top Ten was this song about, um, being sneaky and stealing someone's girlfriend and then wrapping them in cellopahane.  And it's named after chord changes.  Well, they still had a little weirdness left before they became straight pop.

17 - "You'll Never Know," Hi-Gloss
Can't find much about the group, but the song is slick funk featuring a woman telling a man how he blew a good thing with her.  Superior soul in the Sade/Swing Out Sister vein.  Worth seeking out.

16 - "She's Got Claws," Gary Numan
The fifth Top Ten by the London New Wave pioneer was this dark number about love and betrayal.  He takes you into a similar world to the one Bowie does, but his is even more cold and mechanical.  But it's always fascinating to be there.

15 - "The Thin Wall," Ultravox
The fifth hit for this London band was this darkly atmospheric New Wave tune about the world's manipulators and those they manipulate.  I think that's it.  A solid contribution to the genre.  Rocking, but with a suitably cool vibe.

14 - "Everybody Salsa," Modern Romance
The first hit for the group we encountered with "Queen of the Rapping Scene" are here with their debut hit, an attempt to combine British dance music with Latin rhythms.  It just comes off as loungey, gimmicky cheese.


13 - "Endless Love," Diana Ross and Lionel Richie
A U,S. #1 and a Top Ten here.  Sappy ballad from a movie about fucked-up teenage love.  I'm not sure I'd burn down a house for Brooke Shields.

12 - "One in Ten," UB40
Their fifth hit was this slow burning reggae track about people on the margins of society.  Sincere and urgent.  Before they went unabashedly pop, these guys were legit.

11 - "Slow Hand," The Pointer Sisters
The siblings' first British Top Ten was this slow groove about taking your time during sex.  Up there among their best.

10 - "Love Action," The Human League
The synth stars' first U.K. Top Five was this tinkly number about relishing the ups and downs of romance.  It strikes me as the warmup version of "Don't You Want Me."  A little tweaking and boom, an iconic classic.

9 - "Start Me Up," The Rolling Stones
Their biggest hit of the 80s.  Everyone knows the opening riff.  I still feel weird about that lyric about the orgasming corpse, though.  If you don't know it, look it up.  It's there.

8 - "Pretend," Alvin Stardust
Nottinghamshire's Bernard Jewry's two biggest breaks came when he was asked to carry on for someone else.  In the early 60s, he was asked not only to become the new frontman of a group called Shane Fenton and the Fentones after Fenton had been killed in a car accident, he also took on the name "Shane Fenton."  A decade later, after singer Peter Shelley created a glam rock persona called Alvin Stardust but did not want to make appearances with the gimmick after debut single "My Coo-Ca-Choo" became a hit, Jewry was tapped to take on the role.  Jewry/Stardust would pick up six Top 40 hits between '73 and '75, then return to the charts six years later with this cover of a 1953 Nat King Cole hit about romantic denial.  It's limp, too-slick faux rockabilly.  Stardust would have three more 80s hits, then would pretty much become a nostalgia act until his death from prostate cancer in 2014.

7 - "Hold On Tight," The Electric Light Orchestra
A straight-ahead rocker with a "don't give up" message in two languages.  A little dull for them.

6 - "Japanese Boy," Aneka
Scotswoman Mary Sandeman's one claim to pop fame was this gimmicky Asian-themed pop embarrassment.  From the fake-"Oriental" sounds to her adopting of a pseudo-Japanese look, it's all very stereotypical, and almost too silly to be offensive.  I have to give an extra Uneasy Rider this week to this one.  Fun Fact:  this song failed to become a hit in Japan itself because people there found it "too Chinese."

5 - "Wired for Sound," Cliff Richard
Yet more from Sir Cliff.  This one is peppy lite-pop about how much he loves music and needs to hear it wherever he goes.  Meh.  Not great, but the only thing really offensive about it is how he tries to rhyme "plastic" with "ecstatic."  No.

4 - "Hands Up (Give Me Your Heart)," Ottowan
The second and last Top Five for this French dance duo is this reggae/pop number that compares love to armed robbery.  That's a little dark for such a sunny-sounding song.  Nothing more romantic than a mugging.

3 - "Souvenir," Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
The Merseyside bands third Top 40 and first Top 5 was this ethereal synth ballad about not being able to get where one is going.  Relaxing chill-out music.

2 - "Tainted Love," Soft Cell
The song that made them one-hit wonders in America was followed up with eleven more Top 40s at home.  Britain for the win.

And today's 35-year-old charttopper is...

1 - "Prince Charming," Adam and the Ants
The insectcentric London group's second and last #1 was this jittery acoustic rock song encouraging listeners to be their flamboyant, outrageous selves.  "Ridicule is nothing to be scared of."  I agree.  These guys were more than just dressup dandies.

Thank you for reading.  I shall return.  Farewell.

GATW: UKT40 September 19, 1981 Part One

September 1981.  This month, a group of Welsh women set up a peace camp at Greenham Common Royal Air Force Base in Berkshire to protest nuclear weapons.  The camp would remain for nearly twenty years.  I regret to tell you that a lot of the songs I'm about to tell you about lack such staying power.  But see for yourself.

40 - "I Love Music," Enigma
Not the Romanian guy who gave us the gothy dance hits "Sadeness" and "Return to Innocence" in the 90s. but rather a British disco group with a medley of other people's hits.  Read the second half of that sentence and you'll get a recurring theme of this list.

39 - "Back to the Sixties," Tight Fit
Speaking of which, here's another bunch with a disco medley of a bunch of hits from two decades earlier.  There's Stones, there's Kinks, there's Motown, there's other stuff, all done by reasonable soundalikes.  No reason at all to go back and find this instead of listening to the originals.

38 - "Classical Muddly," Porstmouth Sinfonia
Another one, but this is a little more interesting.  This group was formed at the Portsmouth School of Art in 1970, and they invited anyone with little or no musical training to pick an instrument, do their best to learn how to play, and then play together.  The results were charmingly amateurish, and they achieved some fame and performed frequently until disbanding in 1979. But two years later, coinciding  with the medley trend, they put together some of their takes at various familiar pieces, set them to a beat, and released a single that scraped into the Top 40.  It's pretty fun, and makes stuff we think of as stuffy a lot more relatable.  I like it a lot, and I also give it this chart's Uneasy Rider.

37 - "Everlasting Love," Rex Smith and Rachel Sweet
Only Brit hit for him, second for her.  They take on this oft-covered song originated by Robert Knight in 1967.  He belts overwroughtly, she goes for rock sultriness.  They goof around and pretend to get married in the video.  It's charmingly cheesy.

36 - "Wunderbar," Tenpole Tudor
Founded by Londoner Edward Tudor-Pole, this band first gained notice in the post-breakup Sex Pistols film The Great Rock n' Roll Swindle.  They would pick up their only two Top 40s this year, the second being this weird little punk rocker/beer hall singalong about how life is bad but good anyway.  Or something like that.  A cool little tune.

35 - "Seasons of Gold," Gidea Park
Named for a London neighborhood, this is another disco group doing a medley, this one of the Four Seasons.  The producer and main singer, Adrian Baker, does a pretty good Frankie Valli.  Otherwise, nothing to hear here.

34 - "Happy Birthday," Stevie Wonder
Wonder wrote this song to make the case that there should be a U.S. national holiday to honor Martin Luther King Jr.  Though it hit #2 here, it barely charted at home, but it still contributed to King's birthday being established as a holiday, and Wonder performed the song on January 20, 1986, at a celebration of the first official MLK Day.  Just another fact that proves that Stevie is the man.

33 - "Stars on 45 (Volume 3)," Starsound
Yet another medley, this one by the Dutch group that really made these things popular.  This one is mostly instrumental, consisting of the opening parts of songs ranging from the themes of Star Wars, M*A*S*H, and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, to pop and rock hits including "Layla," "Y.M.C.A.,"
"All Right Now," and even "Ma Baker."  It gets some extra credit for that last one, but otherwise, it's completely irrelevant now.

32 - "Green Door," Shakin' Stevens
Stevens' second #1 was this cover of a 1956 Jim Lowe hit about a wild yet inaccessible party.  Solid retro-rockabilly.  Whether you liked what he did or not, he did it well.

31 - "Hooked on Classics," The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
The dance medley featuring Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Tchaikovsky, and many more went to #2 here and #10 in the U.S.  I guess this would work if you want to work out but be cultured at the same time.   I don't know why else this exists.

30 - "Under Your Thumb," Godley and Creme
In the States the ex-10cc duo only hit with 1985's "Cry," but at home they had two hits before that, the first being this haunting synthpop song about a man on a train encountering the ghost of a woman who had committed suicide by throwing herself from that very train.  Another cool discovery, and something to slip onto any Halloween mix you might make.

29 - "Passionate Friend," The Teardrop Explodes
From Liverpool, this New Wave band's third and final U.K. Top 40 was this tune about the end of a love affair.  Decent pop, but nothing that grabs me as much as the band's name.

28 - "Holliedaze," The Hollies
Another medley, this one stringing together a bunch of hits from the Manchester British Invasion vets.  Useful because a few of the songs included weren't U.S. hits, but otherwise, listen to the originals in full, ferfucksake.

27 - "Girls on Film," Duran Duran
The Duranies third home hit (and first Top Ten) was this grooving pop-rocker about the exploitation of models, which ironically was marketed with a Godley and Creme-directed video containing sex and nudity.  Irony abounds.  But still, one of their better songs.

26 - "Chemistry," The Nolans
Born in Ireland but raised in Blackpool, sisters Anne, Denise, Maureen, Linda, Bernadette, and Colleen Nolan got their start as regulars on a Cliff Richard variety show, then broke through in 1979 with "I'm in the Mood for Dancing. which not only made the U.K. Top Five but also hit #1 in Japan.  Their seventh of eight British Top 40s was this disco tune about clicking with someone.  Sprightly, but forgettable.  I didn't feel the spark.

25 - "Birdie Song," The Tweets
What this is is record producer Henry Hadaway's version of a song composed by Swiss accordionist Werner Thomas to accompany what anyone who has been to a wedding in the last thirty years knows as "The Chicken Dance."  You know it.  It's in your head now.  You're fighting the temptation to start doing it, aren't you?  I'm sorry.

24 - "Hand Held in Black and White," Dollar
Our second encounter with this Anglo-Canadian duo.  I really have no idea what it's about.  It mentions Tokyo and flying and graffiti.  Otherwise, it's sevriceable synth-pop.  More like a quarter than a dollar.

23 - "The Caribbean Disco Show," Lobo
This is not the American 70s star behind "Me and You and a Dog Named Boo," but rather a Dutchman who had a hit with a calypso medley highlighted by "The Banana Boat Song," and a song about a woman named Judy who drowned.  This medley thing is even worse than the current Hollywood trend of remaking old hit movies.  This may have been the rock bottom of British pop.

22 - "In and Out of Love," Imagination
The second of nine Top 40s for this London funk band was this midtempo ballad about a tumultuous relationship.  Silkily soulful.  Plus bonus points for the way singer Leee John spells his name.  The triple e is genius.

21 - "Rainy Night in Georgia," Randy Crawford
The Georgia soulstress's fourth U.K hit was a cover of Brook Benton's 1970 hit about percipitation in Crawford's home state.  She nails the lonely, hopeless vibe.  Britain had it right in making her the pop star she wasn't at home.

In Part Two: barriers, holdups, and fairy tales.

GATW: UKT40 September 10, 1977

Closing out '77

20 - "Spanish Stroll," Mink DeVille
Formed in San Francisco in 1974, this group relocated to New York a year later and became one of the house bands at the legendary punk club CBGB, even though their sound was more bluesy and traditional than many of their peers.  Their first and only hit in Britain was this cool rock strut with lyrics about street characters in the City.  Pretty damn great.  The band would accumulate lots of acclaim but little sales until their breakup in 1985, then singer Willy DeVille would begin a solo career that peaked when he wrote and sung "Storybook Love," the Oscar-nominated closing theme to the film The Princess Bride, and continued until his death from cancer in 2009.  This definitely has me interested in exploring more Mink DeVille at the very least.

19 - "Gary Gilmore's Eyes," The Adverts
This London punk band burst onto the scene with this topical, controversial single.  In January of 1977, convicted murderer became the first person to suffer the death penalty in the United States in over ten years when he was executed by firing squad in Utah.  It was revealed that Gilmore asked that his organs be donated for transplant, including his corneas, and so this song imagines a hospital patient waking up to realize that his new eyes originally belonged to the infamous criminal, because somehow the imprint of Gilmore's crimes can be detected by the eyes' new host.  I'm not sure if that's how things work scientifically, but it's an interesting thought in a shock/sci-fi sense, and this angle definitely makes this otherwise boilerplate punk song interesting.  Interesting enough to win this chart's Uneasy Rider.

18 - "We're All Alone," Rita Coolidge
She's boring af, as the kids say.  I've said this repeatedly.  Moving on...

17 - "Looking After Number One," The Boomtown Rats
This Irish New Wave group just missed the Top Ten with their first single, this punk blast about being selfish and getting by any way one can.  Good, as dumb rebellion goes.  Their later stuff got more interesting, peaking with the classic "I Don't Like Mondays."  And of course, Bob Geldof is best known for Live Aid.  Given how he made his first public impression, that's pretty ironic.

16 - "Telephone Man," Meri Wilson
The Atlanta one-hit wonder's novelty about making a "connection" with a phone installer.  Reach out and touch someone, indeed.

15 - "Tulane," The Steve Gibbons Band
After spending the 60s in a bunch of minor British bands. Birmingham's Gibbons found his biggest success with this cover of a Chuck Berry song about two guys who run afoul of the law because their "novelty shop" is a cover for their traffic in some sort of illegal substance.  It sounds like British dudes covering Chuck Berry.  Not much more to it than that.

14 - "Dancing in the Moonlight," Thin Lizzy
The fifth U.K. hit for this Irish band is not a cover of the King Harvest song, but rather a Springsteenish strut about being young and free and out after dark.  Phil Lynott is definitely one of the great voices of a certain kind of rock n' roll cool.

13 - "The Crunch," The RAH Band
From Teesside, Richard Anthony Hewson was a prolific producer who also scored two #6 hits nine years apart with a non-existent "band" named for his initials.  The first of these was this instrumental that sounds as if it was created with synthesizers but was in fact performed on standard guitars and keyboard with the use of effects pedals.  It's a fun little song that sounds like it should have been the theme for a sitcom about police or something like that.

12 - "You Got What it Takes," Showaddywaddy
Our second encounter with these Leicester retro-rockers was this cover of a 1959 Marv Johnson about a lady who has that certain je ne sais quoi.  They do what they do well enough, but it doesn't really move me.

11 - "Do Anything You Wanna Do," The Rods
This pub-rock group from Essex started as in 1975 as Eddie and the Hot Rods, even though there was no one named Eddie in the band.  ("Eddie" was a dummy they had on stage with them at early gigs but quickly abandoned.)  Their biggest hit was this tune about not conforming and making your own way.  The usual stuff, catchily delivered.

10 - "Nobody Does it Better," Carly Simon
The hit theme from the 007 film The Spy Who Loved Me.  I can think of at least three artists who did superior Bond themes, but still, Top Five ain't bad.  Don't be so vain, Carly.

9 - "That's What Friends are For," Deneice Williams
Another, "no, it's not that song" songs.  The American soul singer's second U.K. Top Ten isn't the one Dionne, Stevie et al recorded, but rather a midtempo ballad about a "friendship" that sounds like it's a little more than that.  I really appreciate her voice on this one.  I stil don't care for "Let's Hear it for the Boy," though.

8 - "Silver Lady," David Soul
The Starsky and Hutch star's Top 40 reign ended at home with the transatlantic #1 "Don't Give Up on Us," but it continued here with four more hits, including a second charttopper in the form of this disco-popper about returning home to a true love after having wild but fulfilling adventures.  Unspectacular, but performed with conviction.

7 - "Nights on Broadway," Candi Staton
The second and last Top Ten for this American soul singer was a cover of the 1975 Bee Gees hit.  That's my favorite of theirs, as you may know, but Staton gives it a nice soulful touch that sells me on it.  Love it.

6 - "Angelo," Brotherhood of Man
The second of three #1s for this two-man, two woman group was this mumber about a Mexican shepherd boy running off with a rich girl.  Like ABBA without the depth.

5 - "Down Deep Inside," Donna Summer
Sultry disco from the underwater thriller The Deep, produced and arranged by Bond composer John Barry.  Don't quite understand how it didn't chart in America,

4 - "Oxygene IV," Jean-Michel Jarre
The son of prominent film composer Maurice Jarre, Jean-Michel became a worldwide sensation with the release of his electronic instrumental album Oxygene.  The hypnotic fourth track became a major hit and uas been used in multiple media ever since.  It's hypnotic and intriguiung, and definitely one of the touchstones of the emerging electronic scene.

3 - "Float On," The Floaters
You don't get much more 70s than this soul ballad where the individual members of this Detroit group list off their Zodiac signs and the qualities they like in women.  It's an audio leisure suit.

2 - "Magic Fly," Space
Not to be confused with the English band we encountered in the 90s, this is a French electronic duo whose biggest hit was this Moroder-esque dance instrumental.  It doesn't sound dated at all.  I would absolutely accept this as, say, a new Daft Punk track.

And on top 39 years ago, we found...

1 - "Way Down," Elvis Presley
Just weeks after his shocking death, the King scored his first U.K. #1 in seven years with this rockabilly number about the effects of love.  A very boisterous performance that promised a potential artistic revival that, unfortunately, would not be realized.

More soon.  Thanks for listening.

GATW: UKT40 September 10, 1977

September 1977.  That month, it was revealed that foreign-built cars were outselling British-made vehicles for the first time ever.  Six days after the date of this chart, T. Rex's Marc Bolan died in a London car crash.  The car, for the record, was a domestic Mini 1275GT.  Meanwhile, on the charts...

40 - "I Got to Sing," The J.A.L.N. Band
Our second encounter with this Birmingham funk band.  Jazzy disco about the need to vocalize musically.  Okay.

39 - "Thunder in My Heart," Leo Sayer
The Sussex man with the magnificent white Afro had his eight Top 40 with this urgent dance rocker about passionate love.  I like it more than I thought I would.  It only hit #22, but 19 years later a remix would go to #1.  It was pretty much the same, just with modern beats, but it gave the song a more justified outcome.

38 - "It's Your Life," Smokie
More from these guys, this time a reggaeish rock tune addressing a girl who goes out with a guy beneath her where she really should be with the guy singing the song.  This is probably the best I've heard from them so far.

37 - "Black Betty," Ram Jam
The Leadbelly cover by the one-hit wonder band that sounded Southern but were from New York.  Bam-a-lam indeed.

36 - "All Around the World," The Jam
The Jam session continues with the second hit by the Surrey mod-punks.  It's a two-and-a-half-minute "youth explosion."  A bracing blast to this day.

35 - "Down the Hall," The Four Seasons
The Jersey boys' last U.K. hit to date was this piano-driven uptempo love song that sounds like an attempt to ape Billy Joel, right down to Frankie Valli's vocals.  A very odd decision.  Frankie's voice is pretty distinct, and the band's major selling point.  This is just off in every way.

34 - "Let's Clean Up the Ghetto," Philadelphia International All Stars
Led by producers Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff, the Philadelphia International label was a force in 70s soul, giving the world The O'Jays, Billy Paul, Teddy Pendergrass, and many others.  Several of the label's acts combined for this socially aware single urging African-Americans to take action to improve their neighborhoods.  From the smooth spoken-word opening by Lou Rawls onward, it's funky and awesome, like a late-70s extension of the conscious soul produced by the Temptations, Curtis Mayfield, and others in the first half of the decade.  Another great hidden gem.

33 - "Pipeline," Bruce Johnston
The only taste of solo recording success this Beach Boy ever got was when this single reached this peak here.  It's a disco cover of The Chantays classic 1962 surf instrumental.  Yes, I like my covers to differ from the originals, but everything about this is just wrong on every level.  I didn't need this song interpreted with disco strings and female "da da da" vocals.  A big time wipeout.  Bruce was better off sticking to writing songs like, well, "I Write the Songs."

32 - "Roadrunner," Jonathan Richman
Massachussets native Richman was one of the early innovators of punk with his band The Modern Lovers, but he achieved chart success in Britain as a solo artist.  His first hit was a solo recording of a Modern Lovers song about cruising and listening to rock n'roll on the AM car radio.  Nothing but joy and fun and beauty and awesome.

31 - "Another Star," Stevie Wonder
This single from Songs in the Key of Life was only a minor hit on both sides of the pond, but its Latin-flavored funk pop is unquestionably sublime.  The man is a master.

30 - "Black is Black," La Belle Epoque
Three French girls do a disco cover of Los Bravos 1966 hit.  It's campy.  Are you surprised?

29 - "Gimme Dat Banana," Black Gorilla
Couldn't find much about the band, nor the lyrics of a song.  From a performance clip, they look like at least an eight-piece band.  The song is funk-pop nonsense about simians and fruit.  Not much to it, but catchy enough that I see why it was a hit.

28 - "Something Better Change/Straighten Out," The Stranglers
The Surrey band's second Top Ten was this double-sider.  The A is a straight-ahead rock song that also serves as an announcement of punk's arrival to the masses ("Something's happening and it's happening right now, you're too blind to see it.").  The B is a fast cry of frustration with the British establishment.  Both are great. 

27 - "Best of My Love," The Emotions
The Earth Wind and Fire powered transatlantic #1 by the Hutchinson sisters of Chicago.  No way anyone can use this to build their "disco sucks" case.

26 - "I Feel Love," Donna Summer
Speaking of disco, this was the Queen's only U.K. #1.  It sounded like the future then, and it hasn't really dated.  Peak Summer, and peak Giorgio Moroder for that matter.

25 - "Dreamer." The Jacksons
The second Top 40 for the brothers post-Motown (and Jermaine) was this Michael-led ballad about pining for an unattainable love.  He was starting to show the mature assuredness that would propel him to the stratosphere.  I can imagine him throwing it into one of the concerts he gave at his peak (or maybe on the brothers' '84 Victory tour) and having most of the crowd not know it but blowing them all away by the end.

24 - "Ma Baker," Boney M.
The Milli Vanilli precursors' biggest U.K. hit to that point (it hit #2) was this discofied, loose retelling of the tale of Arizona "Ma" Barker, who led her four sons on a robbery spree in the United States in the 20s and 30s.  It's as fantastic a slice of danceable fractured history as "Rasputin."  Boney M. are both ridiculously wonderful and wonderfully ridiculous.

23 - "I Can't Get You Out of My Mind," Yvonne Elliman
The Hawaiian's third U.K. Top 40 was this ballad about cheating with your best friend's man.  Okay material sung well.  The mighty "If I Can't Have You" was just around the corner, but I'm disappointed to find that it only made #4 here.  You disappoint me, Britain.

22 - "Think I'm Gonna Fall in Love With You," The Dooleys
The first of six hits by the Essex family group comprised mostly of six siblings (three brothers, three sisters) was this limp disco effort.  No soul, no funk, just going through the motions because this is what was commercial at the time.  This may be even worse that my default worst disco hit ever, "Makin' It."

21 - "Sunshine After the Rain," Elkie Brooks
Our latest encounter with this lady is her second hit, a soul ballad about trying to recover from a breakup that was written by Brill Building stalwart Ellie Greenwich.  So far everything I've heard from this lady makes me wish she would have broken through on this side of the ocean.

In Part Two:  killer organs, successful rodents, and an enchanted insect.

GATW: UKT40 August 26, 1995

Completing the countdown to Popageddon...

20 - "Alright," Supergrass
The first of two #2s for this Oxford band is this piano-driven slice of summer rock sunshine.  A pop classic in any country.  Just fantastic.

19 - "Come and Get Your Love," Real McCoy
German dance group covers Redbone's 1974 hit, adds superfluous rapping.  Yeah, sure.

18 - "Boom Boom Boom," The Outhere Brothers
The Chicago dance duo of Keith Mayberry and Lamar Malone picked up two U.K. Number Ones, the second and most famous being this house-rap track.  Dumb fun background party music.  Everybody say way-oh (way-oh).

17 - "So Good," Boyzone
The third #1 for these Irish boys was this "we're made for each other" dance pop bit o'business.  Boy band product epitomized.

16 - "I'm Only Sleeping/Off on Holiday," Suggs
The A side of the Madness frontman's first solo hit was a jaunty ska cover of a track from the Beatles' Revolver LP.  I like that it's different, but the peppiness kind of negates the lyric.  The B is a calypsoish portratit of a family vacation that reminds me a bit of "Our House" in tone.  I definitely like the B better.

15 - "Happy Just to Be With You," Michelle Gayle
Londoner Gayle first found fame acting on the popular soap EastEnders in the early 90s, then left to return to her original passion, music.  She scored seven Top 40 singles, the fifth being this bit of hip-hop soul featuring samples from Chic's "Good Times."  Fairly decent.

14 - "Move Your Body," Xpansions '95
The dance duo of Phil Drummond and Sally Ann Marsh with a remix of their 1990 hit.  House stuff for, um, body moving.  Functional.

13 - "On the Bible," Deuce
Third of four hits for two guys and two girls.  A dance-pop love pledge, with a video appropriately set at a wedding. The hard rock guitar opening catches attention, but otherwise it's just more plastic pop.

12 - "Just When You're Thinkin' Things Over," The Charlatans
Tenth Top 40 for the West Midlands outfit.  Danceable rock about returning to an old flame.  I appreciate them more now then I did then when I would hear them occasionally on CFNY.

11 - "Shy Guy," Diana King
Biggest international hit for this Jamaican reggae singer.  Dancehall about the appeal of quiet men.  Don't understand all the patois lyrics, but still, a very good radio single.

10 - "Try Me Out," Corona
Third and last Top Ten for an Italian dance group.  A bleepy house come-on. Better than most.

9 - "Kiss From a Rose," Seal
The biggest hit from Heidi Klum's ex was this big ballad that had flopped when released a year earlier but then became a smash when it was used in Batman Forever.  Kind of like "Every Breath You Take," in that the lyrics aren't as romantic as people think. Which makes sense, because a kiss from a rose would probably result in painful thorn punctures, you would think.  It's a song that annoyed the hell out of me when it was huge, but I can hear goodness in it now.  It's no "Crazy," though.

8 - "Human Nature," Madonna
I counted 78 U.K. Top 40s for Madge, and this was #38.  It's funky pop on which she rails against media criticism of her speaking her mind.  "I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me," she declares.  It's one of her more underrated hits, as far as I'm concerned.

7 - "Son of a Gun," JX
First of three hits for Brighton DJ Jake Williams.  Thumpa-thumpa woah woah dance music.  I'm not saying this stuff is bad or doesn't require any craft, but it just all blurs together in my mind.  There are standout songs, but I don't find this to be one of them.

6 - "Everybody,"Clock
Third Top Ten from a group referred to as the British equivalent of 2 Unlimited.  It stands out a little, in that the groove is hypnotic and the soulful singing is male.  But I'm not intrigued enough to look up more, like, say, their cover of "Whoomp! There it Is."  I'm just puzzled that a cover of "Whoomp! There it Is" actually exists.  And was a hit.

5 - "Waterfalls," TLC
The Atlanta trio's first of two U.K. Top Fives was this cautionary tale about the dangers of drug dealing and unprotected sex.  Social messages delivered in a pop song, but not in an awkward way.  A fine achievement in hitcraft.

4 - "Never Forget," Take That
Although Robbie Williams had departed the band over drug issues two months earlier, the decade's dominant British boy band was still riding high, scoring their seventh Number One with this midtempo number about the fleeting nature of success and fame ("Someday this will all be someone else's dream").  Pretty good as fluff-pop goes.

3 - "I Luv U Baby," The Original
The only major hit by this American dance group was this house track.  Some good singing, which distinguishes it from the massive cluster of Eurodance.  Forgive me if I sound like a closed-minded old man when I talk about these 90s dance tracks, but I just feel like so many of them are interchangeable.  Maybe it's just harder to make the same machines sound distinct, I don't know.  All I can say is how I feel.  If you disagree, that's great.  I'm not going to deny anyone their pleasure.

And so we have arrived at the battleground.  Two bands at the forefront of a growing movement called "Britpop," who were very different from each other.  On one side were Oasis, the boys from Manchester led by brawling brothers Noel and Liam Gallagher, who were portrayed as Beatles-worshipping, working-class blokes who loved beer and football, and who had broken through the previous year with the fastest-selling British debut album to date, Definitely Maybe.  On the other were Blur, a group formed at a London university, who were seen as more literate and posh and Kinks-influenced, and who had seen their own 1994 breakthrough with their third album Parklife, which led to them dominating the subsequent Brit Awards.  In early 1995, both bands seemed to see each other as their main obstacle to being Britain's biggest band, and a rivalry developed to the point where both bands released singles from their forthcoming albums on the same day, creating a sort of unofficial referendum on which of them really was the top group in the U.K.  The "Battle of Britpop" became a media sensation, and the act of going to buy a particular cassette or CD was portrayed as being as monumental as casting a vote in a national election.  So who won?  Well, since we count down here, we'll start by revealing the runner-up, which was...

2 - "Roll With It," Oasis
The band sold 216,000 copies of this track on that week, but it wasn't enough.  The song is an energetic rocker about being yourself and perservering.  Not their greatest song, but a fine distillation of what the band was: upfront, all out, take-us-or-leave-us-but-we're-gonna-party-either-way rock n' roll.

So that means, of course, that the battle was won by...

1 - "Country House," Blur
The song that prevailed with sales of 272,000 was this jaunty tune about a man who escapes to the countryside to avoid the pressures of modern urban life.  It's catchy and pointed, with lyrics about analysts, herbal baths, and Prozac.  Certainly the more stereotypically British (down to the Benny Hill homages in the video) of the two songs, and to my ears the better one.  But the war, as it turned out, would be won by Oasis, whose What's the Story, Morning Glory would sell five times as many copies as Blur's The Great Escape, and would also go multiplatinum in America while Blur's album barely charted there.  But both bands are still well-remembered as lynchpins of an exciting era in British music, and the hysteria their "battle" created will likely never be replicated.

So that's that.  Next one will come in time.  See ya then.

GATW: UKT40 August 26, 1995

Late summer, 1995.  Often I start these entries by telling you what the big news was at the time of the chart I'm covering, but in this case, the chart was the big news of the day.  The race for the number one spot was between two bands representing different regions, different influences, and perhaps most significantly, two social classes.  It made front-page headlines and led off national newscasts, and a nation waited with bated breath to find out who came out on top.  But before I tell you more about it, I've got 38 more songs to cover, starting with these 20:

40 - "The Key," Matt Goss
This Londoner first became famous alongside his twin brother Luke in the band Bros, whose 1987 breakthrough hit was entitled, ironically enough, "When Will I be Famous."  They would reach the Top 40 eleven times before breaking in in 1992, and while Luke turned to acting, Matt began a solo music career.  His first hit was this funk-popper on which he applies his white-soul voice to a lyric about trying to find a way to make his dreams come true.  It's good as these things go.  Goss would have four solo Top 40s total, and in recent years he has transitioned into a successful career in Las Vegas.

39 - "Come on Home," Cyndi Lauper
The quirky New Yorker had her biggest home success in the 80s with ten Top Forty singles, but in the U.K, she only reached those heights four times in that period.  In the 90s, however, with her U.S. fortunes sagging, she would reach the British Top 40 seven times.  Her sixth hir of the decade was this reggae-pop number about returning to where one began if the wider world isn't working out for you.  It's fun and catchy.  Cyndi is just one of those people you wish you could just be in the presence of for even two minutes, because it just seems like there would be nothing but love and positive energy coming off of her.

38 - "In the Summertime," Shaggy featuring Rayvon
The Jamaican-American dancehall rapper teamed with Barbadian singer Rayvon for his second U.K. hit, a cover of Mungo Jerry's 1970 worldwide #1. Rayvon sings the original lyrics, and Shaggy adds a toast about picking up women.  Nothing important, but it works as background beach music.

37 - "Freedom," Shiva
The biggest of two hits for this three-person dance group was this energetic house track about wanting to be carefree and happy.  Singer Louise Dean had a very strong voice, but sadly, at this time she was already gone, killed in a hit and run accident two months earlier.  We may very well have heard much more from her otherwise.

36 - "Zombie," A.D.A.M. featuring Amy
A Italian group's dance cover of the Cranberries' hit of the previous year about the decades of sectarian violence in Northern Island.  It's a catchy track, but the contrast of the subject matter with the peppy beats and guitar is jarring.  It all just comes out weird. This chart's Uneasy Rider in a weak field.

35 - "A Girl Like You," Edwyn Collins
From Edinburgh, Collins first tasted success with the band Orange Juice in the early 80s, but by the middle of the decade they had broken up, and his solo career languished in obscurity until he broke through with this cool pop-rocker about desire and obsession.  It went Top Five here, and reached the Top 40 in the U.S.  He pretty much returned to obscurity afterward, but he continues to make music and perform, even after surviving a cerebral hemorrhage in 2005.

34 - "Living Next Door to Alice (Who the Fuck is Alice)," Smokie featuring Roy "Chubby" Brown
The popular 70s band scored their first hit in fifteen years with a new version of their biggest international hit, featuring foul-mouthed interjections by Yorkshire comedian Brown, who is best known for his girth, his penchant for wearing a leather pilot helmet and goggles, and for his raunchy material.  Reading about him and listening to this, I would definitely say he's a British thing, and I don't understand.  But that's okay.  Who the fuck am I?

33 - "Heaven Help My Heart," Tina Arena
Born to Italian immigrants in Australia, Filppina Arena first found fame on a kids' talent show in the late 70s, then became a grown-up pop star in the 90s.  Her international peak saw her score five U.K Top 40s, the third being this midtempo ballad about looking for love.  Maybe it's the fact that she's Australian, maybe it's the soft-rock arrangement, but I was reminded a lot of Olivia Newton-John. But not enough for me to desperately seek out her other material.

32 - "Summertime Healing," Eusebe
Not much I can tell you about this North London rap group, except that they consisted of cousins Alison, Steve and Sharon Eusebe, and they seemed to have released one major-label LP then disappeared.  This single is a positive, seasonal vibe that borrows its hook from Marvin Gaye's last big hit.  It's pretty good.  I would have liked to have heard where they would go from here.

31 - "Girl From Mars," Ash
This trio from County Down in Northern Ireland scored the first of their 18 Top 40 hits with this energetic rocker about a summer romance with a young lady who probably was not a space alien.
Good, catchy stuff that belongs on any "Best of Britpop" playlist.

30 - "Push," Moist
This Vancouver band were a staple of Canadian rock radio in the 90s, but they also managed to score one Brit hit with their first single, an urgent rocker about trying to break out of an unequal relationship.  Having knowledge of much of their catalogue, I'd put this third behind "Silver" and "Leave it Alone."  Also, I just learned that they reunited a couple years ago after a 12-year hiatus.  Good for them, I guess.

29 - "Hope Street," The Levellers
Named for a 17th Century British democracy movement, this Brighton folk-punk band has scored 15 Top 40 singles to date.  This one is a vivid portrait of people living lives of desperation.  It definitely does make me curious about some of their other output.

28 - "Destination Eschaton," The Shamen
The ninth of twelve Top 40s for this Scottish dance group was this burbly rave track about journeying through outer space.  Or the space between your ears.  Anyway, it's trippy, but nothing that I find particularly striking.

27 - "Hold On," Happy Clappers
Your basic 90s dance track with soulful female vocals and a "boom-cha boom-cha" beat.  Unremarkable.

26 - "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me," U2
The Irish boys added to their hit ball with this swirly number about the glittery weirdness of rock stardom that they contributed to the soundtrack of the Val Kilmer Batman movie.  Listening to it with fresh ears, I found that I enjoyed its ambition, where when it was out I remember finding it kind of pretentious.  I'm not sure if I was right then or now.

25 - "Let Your Yeah be Yeah," Ali Campbell
The UB40 frontman scored three solo hits this year, the second being this cover of a 1971 U.K Top Five by Jimmy Cliff.  Not surprisingly, it's reggae-lite.  Can't tell it from what he was doing with his band at the time.  I should look up the original sometime.  Or even the version by Brownsvulle "Smokin' in the Boys' Room" Station.  That's bound to be ten times more interesting.

24 - "Don't You Want Me (Patrick Prins Remix)," Felix
Essex DJ Francis Wright had five Top 40 hits, but three were different versions of the same song.  The second of these was a remix of Felix's 1992 original by Dutch DJ Prins.  I've never heard any incarnation of the song before, but this one is pretty cool as these things go.  There's actually stuff that distinguishes it from other dance tracks of the time.

23 - "Isobel," Bjork
Icelander Bjork Gudmundsdottir released her first album in 1977 when she was only twelve, then abandoned kiddie-pop and spent the next decade in Reykjavik's punk scene, eventually landing in a band called The Sugarcubes, who released three albums between 1987 and 1992 and gained a worldwide following.  After that band broke up, she began a solo career that has made her one of the stranger platinum-level pop stars ever.  The seventh of her 21 U.K. Top 40s was this trippy electronic pop song inspired by a moth who landed on her shirt collar one evening and stayed for an extended period of time.  That's pretty much par for the course for her.  Either you get her or you don't.  I do.  She's just this odd little gift to the world that I wouldn't want to imagine life without.

22 - "You Oughta Know," Alanis Morissette
Oh yes, the song that turned a Canadian dance-pop lightweight into the female rock poet of the mid-90s.  It's still jarring when I think about the first time I heard it.  But it is unquestionably a terrific pop song.  And the world still wonders which TV Joey she was so pissed off at, the one from Friends or the one from Full House.

21 - "'74-'75," The Connells
This North Carolina band had some success in the late 80s and early 90s on the American alternative charts, then they found themselves out-of-nowhere pop stars in the U.K with this acoustic ballad about a failed relationship.  I can definitely hear what the Brits heard, not to mention the Scandinavians who made it a #1 hit in Sweden and Norway.  It's simple, catchy pop-rock. 

In Part Two: eighteen more songs, and then the main event.

Gloves Across the Water: U.K. Top 40 June 21, 1986 Part Two

20 - "On My Own," Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald
A U.S. #1, and #2 here.  Meh.  But I will tell you that McDonald, while touring in Britain later this year, started a search for a singer he could sing this with in LaBelle's absence, and that if you keep reading, you will find out who he eventually chose.

19 - "Nasty," Janet Jackson
Wow, this is the highest this song got here.  That's just...well, let's just say if I were Janet, I'd make the U.K call her "Miss Jackson."

18 - "Bad Boy," Miami Sound Machine
Top Twenty here, Top Ten at home.  I think both results flatter this.

17 - "Invisible Touch," Genesis
All five singles from this album were Top Fives in America, but none charted higher than #14 here.  Surprising.  At least one should have cracked the Top Ten as far as I'm concerned, and I'd probably go with "Land of Confusion."

16 - "Set Me Free," Jaki Graham
The singer Mikey Mac picked for his British tour was this Birmingham-born child of Nigerian immigrants, who would pick up six Top 40s in '85 and '86.  Her biggest non-duet hit was this dance-popper about feeling trapped by love.  She's got a good voice.  Not much more to say than that.

15 - "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)," The Pet Shop Boys
#11 here, #10 in America, #1 in my heart.  Just brilliant.  Machiavellian marvelousness.

14 - "My Favorite Waste of Time," Owen Paul
The only hit by this Scotsman was this slick cover of a song that first appeared as the B-side of the wonderful Marshall Crenshaw single "Someday, Someway."  The goodness of the song shines through, but it's so much more obvious when you hear the original.

13 - "Amityville (The House on the Hill)," Lovebug Starski
Bronx rapper Kevin Smith's biggest success came here with this song about a haunted house, based very loosely on the one from the 1979 film The Amityville Horror.  I'm pretty sure that movie doesn't feature appearances by Dracula, the Bride of Frankenstein, and Captain Kirk from Star Trek.  A fun novelty party jam, and a must-add for your next Halloween mix.

12 - "Happy Hour," The Housemartins
From Hull, this band was fronted by singer Paul Heaton, whose lyrics often reflected his personal belief system, a mix of Christianity and Marxism.  Their first major hit was this jangly, spirited pop-rock number that seems to be about the futility of trying to fit in with the false happinesses of the upper classes.  I think I've got it.  They would pick up five more Top 40 hits over the next two years (including the #1 "Caravan of Love"), before breaking up, after which Heaton and guitarist Dave Hemingway formed an even more successful band, The Beautiful South.  Bassist Norman Cook would turn to dance music and achieve even bigger success as Fatboy Slim.

11 - "New Beginning," Bucks Fizz
The last Top Ten for these guys was this very-80s dance-popper about making the world better, with some lyrics in Swahili and Spanish for a worldly touch.  It's all right, in a turn-off-your-brain, Bananarama sort of way.

10 - "Vienna Calling," Falco
The second biggest international hit by Mr. Hans Holzel.  Not quite "Rock Me Amadeus," but I certainly answered the call.

9 - "Too Good to be Forgotten," Amazulu
The biggest of five Top 40s for this London ska-pop group was this sunny reminiscence of young love.  Solid beach music, like the only thing I'd heard from them previously, their cover of Bobby Bloom's "Montego Bay."

8 - "Sledgehammer," Peter Gabriel
An American #1, but only #4 here.  America wins.  This is pure gold, with and without the video.

7 - "Can't Get By Without You (The Decade Remix II)," The Real Thing
An update of a song we encountered in 1976.  Still pleasant disco-soul.

6 - "Addicted to Love," Robert Palmer
Another American #1 held to just Top Five status at home.  I'm not as outraged by this one though.

5 - "Hunting High and Low," a-Ha
While in America, the hits by these Norwegians ran out after "The Sun Always Shines on TV," they continued on a roll here, earning the fourth of nine Top Tens with this ballad about not giving up on a reunion with a lover.  Pretty good.  Worthy of at least  reaching the 30s in the States.  But of course, nothing could ever come close to the majesty of "Take on Me."

4 - "Holding Back the Years," Simply Red
And yet another case of a British act topping the U.S. charts but falling short at home.  This is the worst injustice of the three, even though it did hit #2.  This is just a stone classic, one of the great pop ballads of the decade, and by a long shot the best thing Mick Hucknall and company ever did.  For shame, U.K.

3 - "I Can't Wait," Nu Shooz
Somewhat annoying transatlantic Top Five.  I can wait, quite a long time in fact, before needing to hear this again.

2 - "The Edge of Heaven," Wham!
The next-to last charttopper for George and Andrew before they parted ways.  The usual boppy, poppy okayness.  They got out before they were asked to leave, which is always a good result.

And thirty years ago, the nation's favourite was...

1 - "Spirit in the Sky," Doctor and the Medics
Formed in London by Clive "The Doctor" Jackson, this band rode outrageous attire (notably the Doctor himself's ensemble of jesteresque clothes, kabuki makeup, and a towering triangular hairdo topped with a curlicue) and familiar material (a fairly straight cover of the otherworldly-minded Norman Greenbaum rock song that had topped the British charts sixteen years earlier) to a very brief run of popularity.  They had one more Top 40 and then returned to obscurity.  This didn't chart very high in the States, but was a #1 in Canada, which is how it came to be the first version of the song that reached my ears.  Thought it was great, but upon eventually hearing the superior original, it became clear that the greatness had nothing whatsoever to do with these guys in funny outfits.

Thank you for your patience.  Hopefully our separation will be shorter this time.  Bye for now.

Gloves Across the Water: U.K. Top 40 June 21, 1986 Part One

Back to 30 years ago.  The day after this chart was published, England exited the World Cup after losing 2-1 to Argentina on two memorable Diego Maradona goals.  Little did we know that three decades and one day later, England, and the rest of Britain, would make another spectacular departure on the world stage.  But enough of this talk of leaving.  Let's instead enter the world of an early summer U.K. pop chart.

40 - "There'll Be Sad Songs," Billy Ocean
The Trinidadian-born Brit had a #1 in America with this, but it missed the Top Ten here.  I side with Britain.  It's a nice ballad, but nothing special.  I'd just rather listen to "Love Really Hurts Without You" again.

39 - "Let's Go All the Way," Sly Fox
The one hit by this British-produced American funk-pop duo, a Top Ten in both countries.  Still a lost classic.  Zum zum zigga zigga indeed.

38 - "It's 'Orrible Being in Love (When You're 8 1/2)," Claire and Friends
This song was written by Brian and Michael (of "Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs" fame), and was performed by Stockport youngster Claire Usher and some of her schoolmates as an entry for a kid's TV talent contest.  It's about the perils of prepubescent infatuation.  At least that's what I'm told.  I haven't been able to find lyrics to it, and they are unintelligible to my ears.  All I hear are fingernails on a chalkboard.  The song's title is too long by six words.  But it easily claims this chart's Uneasy Rider.  Torture for all ages.

37 - "Why Can't This Be Love," Van Halen
The VH brothers had only scored one U.K. Top 40 with David Lee Roth, ("Jump"), but they immediately doubled that total with their first single with Sammy Hagar.  Maybe it's because Brits love synthesizers?  Your guess is as good as mine.

36 - "Medicine Show," Big Audio Dynamite
The second of three U.K. Top 40s for Mick Jones' post-Clash band is this pop-rocker that is basically like a sales-pitch from an old-time tonic salesman pushing a miracle product.  The samples from old Westerns are a nice touch.

35 - "God Thank You Woman" Culture Club
Boy George and co.'s last hit before their first breakthrough was this decent-enough pop-soul love song.  Although by this time, I don't think there were many left that still believed he was interested in romance with the opposite sex. 

34 - "The Teacher," Big Country
These Scots only had one hit in America (the anthemic "In a Big Country") but in the U.K. this was the ninth of 15 Top 40s.  This is basic alternative rock about seeking truth.  I must admit nothing I've heard so far even comes close to the majesty of their most familiar hit. 

33 - "Snooker Loopy," Matchroom Mob
This combination of Cockney rockers Chas & Dave and professional snooker (a billiard game involving multicolored, non-numbered balls that is extremely popular in Britain) players Steve Davis, Dennis Taylor, Willie Thorne, Terry Griffiths and Tony Leo, reached the Top Ten with this pub singalong about the characteristics and talents of the participating players.  Very bizarre.  This one's gotta get an Uneasy Rider too.

32 - "Jump Back (Set Me Free)," Dhar Braxton
The only hit for this New Yorker is this dance slap-down of a would-be no-good boyfriend.  Pretty catchy as these things go, and her attitude is palpable.  I like it.

31 - "21st Century Boy," Sigue Sigue Sputnik
Formed in London by Tony James, whose late-70s group Generation X had introduced the world to Billy Idol, this band burst on the scene with their outrageous clothes, punk/rockabilly/synthpop sound, and their overt commercialism (they actually sold 20-30 second advertising spots on their debut album, and the version of this song I heard ended with a plug for i-D magazine).  Their debut single, the fun but disposable "Love Missile F1-11" went to #3, but the follow-up just scraped into the Top Twenty.  It's pretty much a carbon copy of its predecessor, with lyrics about sex and outer space and the future over a very similar background.  They'd manage one more Top 40 hit two years later, but then they'd find themselves added to the pile of failed Next Big Things.

30 - "When Tomorrow Comes," Eurythmics
This product of the Dave Stewart/Annie Lennox hit machine only got this high here and didn't chart at all in America, but for my money it's no worse than their third best single.  A straightforward rock song on which Annie pledges that she'll be there for you.  Simple, but so strong.

29 - "Call of the Wild," Midge Ure
Scotsman James Ure had been in several bands since the mid-70s, finding his greatest success in the first half of the 80s with Ultravox.  On a break from the band (during which he helped Bob Geldof put together both "Do They Know it's Christmas" and Live Aid), Ure had a #1 solo hit with "If I Was," as well as two other Top 40s, including this synthpop number about wanting someone to, um, go wild with him.  I think that's it/  It's okay, but not essential. 

28 - "Mine All Mine," Cashflow
80s funk from a band I can't find out much about.  And the song doesn't make me feel a need to dig really deep.  I do know they later appeared on the soundtrack to the Fat Boys' movie Disorderlies, so good for them.

27 - "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," Tears for Fears
The Bath duo's second U.K. #1, and the song that broke them in America.  I still don't count myself among the "everybody," though.

26 - "Underground," David Bowie
Bowie's effort here is a song from the soundtrack of the Jim Henson film Labyrinth, in which he played the Goblin King.  The song is the kind of taunt/invitation you'd expect from a villain in a children's adventure, and the gospel choir on the chorus provides a welcome boldness.  The film bombed upon initial release, but became a cult hit on video, and yes, like almost every 80s movie that has any kind of following, there's talk of a remake/reboot.  I haven't seen it, so I have no opinion.

25 - "The Chicken Song," Spitting Image
Spitting Image was an immensely popular British comedy series featuring satirical sketches performed with puppet doppelgangers of politicians, celebrities, and other public figures.  One sketch featured a parody of popular dance-craze hits, introducing a song whose chorus told listeners to "hold a chicken in the air" and follow that up by performing a series of acts from the banal ("form a string quartet") to the random ("paint your left knee green"), and including acts of violence to oneself ("skin yourself alive," "disembowel yourself with spears") and others ("behead an Eskimo," "casserole your Gran").  The British sense of humour being what it is, the song was #1 for three weeks.  It's absolutely one of the strangest, craziest things you'll ever hear.  So yes, for the first time ever, I am bestowing a whopping three Uneasy Rider awards in one chart.  They all deserve it.  But if I had to pick one, this would be it.

24 - "Sinful," Pete Wylie
Liverpudlian Wylie has been in several bands since the late 70s (including more than one contatining the word "Wah!"), but his biggest hit under his own name was this Simple Mindsish number about trying to change the world for the better.  It's not bad.

23 - "Lessons in Love," Level 42
Biggest hit for the Isle of Wight synth-poppers.  I still say "Running in the Family" is so much better.

22 - "Venus," Bananarama
This Shocking Blue cover was a #1 in several countries, including the U.S., but only hit #8 here.  In fact, these ladies never had a Number One at home.  I'm quite surprised.

21 - "Friends Will Be Friends," Queen
Freddie and friends with a power ballad about the comfort of people who will stand by you through tough times.  One of those circumstances mentioned in this song is "So the pound has dropped."  Hmm.  Interesting that I'm coming across this at this time of all times. Did Mr. Mercury call the Brexit 30 years before it happened?  Well, this did come from an album called A Kind of Magic...

In Part Two: Be bad and feed your addiction, or turn to medicine and a higher power.

Gloves Across the Water - U.K. Top 40 June 8, 1996 Part Two

It's a chart of two halves.

20 - "Cecilia," Suggs with Louchie Lou/Michie One
The man born Graham McPherson had been a star as the frontman for Sussex ska stars Madness for over fifteen years when he finally began a solo career.  His biggest hit without the Mad men was this dancehall cover of a 1970 Simon and Garfunkel hit. Lou and One contribute a ragga verse.  Different enough not to be completely unnecessary, but hardly outstanding.

19 - "Ocean Drive," The Lighthouse Family
The Newcastle pop duo of Tunde Baiyewu and Paul Tucker had the second of eleven pop hits in seven years with this optimistic midtempo tune about better days ahead.  Adult contemporary done with passion and soul.

18 - "Until it Sleeps," Metallica
It had been four-and-a-half years since the San Francisco thrash pioneers became one of the biggest bands in the world after the success of there slowed down, popped up "Black Album," and fans old and new wondered what direction the group would take next.  The answer came in the form of the first single from their Load LP, this sludgy rock song featuring lyrics written by singer James Heftield about his mother's battle with cancer.  More introspective than most of the band's previous material, and about a 3 on the Headbangometer, but still quite good.  It performed well enough upon release to become the band's highest-charting single on both sides of the Atlantic, but the sound of the Load album, combined with the fact that band members had cut their long hair and had accepted the headline slot on that years Lollapalooza festival, created a perception that the band was hopping on the "alternative" bandwagon, and this did not sit well with longtime fans.  This would not be the last move the band would make that would alienate members of their fanbase.

17 - "Summer Holiday," Darren Day
Colchester-born Day started out wanting to be a professional snooker player, but later turned to musical theatre, becoming a star on the West End.  His biggest chart hit was this cover of the title song from a 1963 Cliff Richard movie, recorded for the cast album of the stage musical version of said movie.  Sunny, boring pop. 

16 - "The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me is You," Bryan Adams
Adams had collaborated with "Mutt" Lange on his 1991 album Waking Up the Neighbors, and he decided to go back to that well for the follow-up, 18 'Til I Die.  The album's first single was this mildly suggestive pop tune about how his lady is the only thing he feels comfortable in. Crap, I just made that even more suggestive.  Ew.  Anyway, whereas many of the Neighbors tracks sounded like Def Leppard outtakes, this sounded like a Shania Twain outtake.  Not an improvement.

15 - "Female of the Species," Space
Formed in 1993, this Liverpool band had their first significant hit with this bit of futuristic lounge music about the dangerousness of ladies.  Just delightful and cool.  Definitely one to look up if you've never heard it.

14 - "Get Down (You're the One for Me)," Backstreet Boys
The B-Boys were still a year away from being stars at home, but in Britain they were on their third hit with this basic dance popper about wanting a girl.  There's rap on it, including a verse from Boy A.J. It adds nothing.  You are either in the right state to like this, or you're not.  I don't think I've ever been.

13 - "On Silent Wings," Tina Turner
From Tina's first album since the success of the biopic What's Love Got to Do With It?, this is a nice little breakup ballad that's slightly overwhelmed by the slickness of the production.  But the lady knocks the vocal out of the park, as usual.  Sting shows up on the final chorus, but his appearance distracts more than enhances.
 
12 - "In a Room," Dodgy
The fifth of nine hits for these London power poppers was this rocker about fighting the urge to isolate oneself.  I think that's it.  Very good.  Britpop had a deeper bench than some might think.

11 - "Return of the Mack," Mark Morrison
Born in Germany and raised in Leicester (once again, congratulations to the Foxes), Morrison had picked up a couple of Top 40 singles before releasing this swaggering funk/hip/hop track about rebounding from heartbreak.  Catchy, danceable, brilliant.  In addition to topping the charts here, it hit #2 in America and had Morrison poised for superstardom.  He would follow up with four more U.K. Top Tens, but subsequent legal issues have curtailed his career significantly.

10 - "Fastlove," George Michael
The former Wham! man had come out of a long legal battle with his former label with an album entitled Older, and its second single would be his last U.K. #1 to date.  It's funky dance-pop about looking for a one-night stand.  Straightforward and solid.  He really was one of the great pop stars of his time.

9 - "There's Nothing I Won't Do," JX
The third, and biggest, hit by Brighton DJ Jake Williams was this bit of house-dance-whatever.  The stuff was everywhere back then, and it doesn't interest me unless there's something distinctive and interesting in the song.  None of that here.

8 - "Because You Love Me," Celine Dion
La  Diva Quebecoise racked up another international smash with this drippy Diane Warren ballad from a Robert Redford/Michelle Pfeiffer movie called Up Close and Personal.  Never saw it, but I do remember seeing the commercials where Redford says "She practically eats the lens," and thinking, "How is that a compliment?"  I'm still baffled.

7 - "Fable," Robert Miles
The follow-up to "Children" actually has vocals, courtesy of one Fiorella Quinn.  More dreamy danciness.  I like it better than it's predecessor.  Having singing on it helps. 

6 - "Nobody Knows," The Tony Rich Project
Detroiter Antonio Jeffries Jr. made his breakthrough with this heart-on-sleeve ballad about lingering post-breakup loneliness.  One of the classics of the decade, and a must on any credible list of all-time great one-hit wonders.  The pain comes through with every note.

5 - "Naked," Louise
Londoner Louise Nurding first found success in her teens with the girl group Eternal, then left after one album for a solo career which produced a dozen hits.  Her first Top Five was this dance track about lusting and being lusted after.  Fine for what it is.  Two years after this, she would marry someone else who performed on a single on this chart...Liverpool midfielder Jamie Redknapp.

4 - "Ooh, Aah...Just a Little Bit," Gina G
Our second encounter with Australia's Ms. G comes in the form of her biggest hit, this breathy Euro dance track.  I can't say it deserved to finish better than eighth at Eurovision.  I'm sure the competition was much bigger and/or weirder.

3 - "Mysterious Girl," Peter Andre
London-born, Australia-raised Peter Andrea made his British breakthrough with this limp bit of watered-down reggae that makes Ace of Base sound like The Wailers.  The dancehall toasting of Bubbler Ranx is the only thing that makes this close to interesting.  The song hit #2, then came back to hit #1 eight years later after Andre appeared on the reality show I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!  He also met future ex-wife Katie "Jordan" Price on the show.  Good for him.

2 - "Three Lions," Baddiel and Skinner with The Lightning Seeds
The Lightning Seeds are mainly Liverpudlian Ian Broudie, who took his recording name from a misheard lyric from Prince's "Raspberry Beret."  He had picked up eight Top 40 singles by the time he was approached by England's Football Association to collaborate with comedians David Baddiel and Frank Skinner on an official song for Euro '96.  What they came up with was this peppy rock song, named after the image on the national Team's logo, that laments the recent struggles and failures of England in major tournaments but sounds a hopeful note by noting the triumphs of the past, most notably the fact that the last time a major championship was held in Blighty (the 1966 World Cup), the home side won.  The track's exuberance was infectious enough to lift the song to #1, and to help create an optimistic atmosphere around the tournament and the England team.  Unfortunately, it would all end in tears, as England would lose their semi-final to eventual champions and arch-rivals Germany on penalty kicks.  But as a consolation, twenty years later, this song gets to lift the Uneasy Rider trophy.

And topping the Pops 20 years ago was...

1 - "Killing Me Softly," The Fugees
The song that introduced the world to Lauryn Hill.  Whatever happened to her?  And will these three ever reunite?   My guess is, yes.  I'm thinking 2021, the 25th anniversary of The Score, they will announce a tour and at least start it.  Whether or not they finish is a matter I'm unwilling to speculate on.

Another done.  More will follow.  Thanks for reading.