It's been a while, but I'm back, and I'm taking my first look at a Christmas chart. Having the U.K. #1 single at Christmas carries a certain amount of prestige in Britain, and so I thought I'd take a look at one of those contests. So here we gogo to Yuletide 1980. British music was reeling from the murder of John Lennon earlier in the month, and his presence was certainly felt on the charts. Plus there was ska. Plenty of ska.
40 - "Runaround Sue," Racey
The last major hit for this Somerset group was a straight cover of Dion's 1961 hit about a serially unfaithful young lady. Certainly up there among the most pointless cover versions I've ever heard.
39 -"Never Knew Love Like This Before," Stephanie Mills
Her biggest hit on both sides of the Atlantic. And, as I may have mentioned before, she once dated Michael Jackson.
38 - "The Earth Dies Screaming, UB40
Their third hit was this deceptively gentle reggae tune about some sort of apocalyptic event that leaves in its wake desolation, abandoned cars, and death. Lots and lots of death. And a merry Christmas to you gentlemen as well. Aside from that, one of their better songs.
37 - "If I Could Only Make You Care," Mike Berry
This Northampton actor and singer had his greatest success in the 60s aping Buddy Holly. He came back with a couple hits this year, including this limp country tune. Suffice it to say, he doesn't get what he hopes from me.
36 - "Lorraine," Bad Manners
This London ska band, fronted by flamboyant singer Buster Bloodvessel, had nine Top 40s in the early 80s. The fourth of these was this bouncy tale of Bloodvessel falling in love with a girl who ends up stealing all of his possessions, which causes him to say "When I find her, I'm gonna kill her." Then he finds Lorraine, they exchange blows, talk things out, and then have sex, which eliminates all homicidal thoughts toward her from Buster's mind. Silly, but catchy.
35 - "I'm Coming Out." Diana Ross
Miss Ross comes out of her shell. Remember before when she was shy and retiring and faded into the background? You don't? Wonder why?
34 - "Blue Moon," Showaddywaddy
The Leicester group's last four chart hits failed to crack the Top 30, a trend that began with this cover of the Rogers and Hart standard that is used as a theme not by their hometown Foxes, but rather Manchester City. Wonder if that was part of the problem. As for the version, my thoughts on Racey's entry here can be applied to this as well.
33 - "Looking for Clues," Robert Palmer
Palmer had already had two Top 40s in America when he scored his first one at home with this stuttery rocker about trying to understand a relationship. Nice little xylophone solo. This only got this high here, and didn't chart well in the U.S., but it did go Top Ten in Canada. My homeland for the win, for once.
32 - "December Will be Magic Again," Kate Bush
The ethereal girl put her own twist on the holiday song, combining Bing Crosby and Oscar Wilde while just being all floaty and Bushy. It's all her, and all wonderful.
31 - "Who's Gonna Rock You," The Nolans
Our second encounter with these Irish sisters is this tepid disco number about lamenting a dying relarionship while people around you are apartying. Dressed- up blandness at its meh-est.
30 - "I Could be So Good for You," Dennis Waterman
London-born actor Waterman had built a steady career through the 60s and 70s, but it was around this time when he landed his most famous role as the bodyguard lead character in the TV series Minder. The show's popularity was such that its Waterman-sung theme tune became a Top Five hit. It's a nifty little piano boogie, and Waterman sounds a bit like Billy Joel on it. I enjoy it.
29 - "It's Hard to be Humble," Mac Davis
The biggest of Davis' two Brit hits was this live recording of an ode to egotism. "I can't wait to look in the mirror," he sings, "'cause I get better looking each day." A fun little singalong, and good for an ego boost.
28 - "This Wreckage," Gary Numan
Numan's fifth U.K. solo hit was this dark, icy midtempo tune about alternatively craving and fearing isolation. That seems pretty quintessential for this guy. There are definitely moods where I would feel the need to hear a song like this.
27 - Rock n' Roll Ain't Noise Pollution," AC/DC
The most successful U.K. single from the massive Back in Black LP was this good, loud rock song about good, loud rock music. Brian Johnson's voice is more growly than screechy on a lot of this, which works perfectly. An appropriate album-closer.
26 "Don't Walk Away," Electric Light Orchestra
The band's fourth Xanadu single (not released in the U.S.) was this ballad that accompanied an animated sequence in the film where Olivia Newton-John and Michael Beck's characters turn into fish and birds.. Again I say this is a weird-ass movie surely crafred with much chemical assistance. And again I admit I saw this in a theater as a youngster crushing on ONJ.
25 - "Celebration," Kool and the Gang
Every time you buy one of Al Gore's books, he plays this song. I have this on very good authority.
24 - "Do Nothing," The Specials
More ska, this time in the form of the sixth Top Ten by this Coventry band. It's a loping track about feeling life is meaningless and searching for purpose in rhe wrong places. A good song thT will certainly always be meaningful to someone.
23 - "Too Nice to Talk To," The Beat
Another ska hit, this one by the Birmingham band who had to add "English" to their name in America. This is a rollicking groove about romantic shyness. It's among their best. Not much more to say.
22 - "Lonely Together," Barry Manilow
The big BM (wait, that's not good) missed the 40 at home but made it here with this ballad about trying to hook up with a fellow reboundee. Just him, doing what he does.
21 - "Do You Feel My Love," Eddy Grant
The second solo hit by the Guyana-born ex-Equal was this electro-reggae heartbreak number. Pretty damn good. It's too bad that for years all I was exposed to of him was "Electric Avenue" and "Romancing the Stone."
In Part Two: sci-fi, insects, and of course, the song that became immortalized as a Christmas Number One. Is it a classic? A comedy novelty? Or something else entirely? We shall see.
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