September 1981. This month, a group of Welsh women set up a peace camp at Greenham Common Royal Air Force Base in Berkshire to protest nuclear weapons. The camp would remain for nearly twenty years. I regret to tell you that a lot of the songs I'm about to tell you about lack such staying power. But see for yourself.
40 - "I Love Music," Enigma
Not the Romanian guy who gave us the gothy dance hits "Sadeness" and "Return to Innocence" in the 90s. but rather a British disco group with a medley of other people's hits. Read the second half of that sentence and you'll get a recurring theme of this list.
39 - "Back to the Sixties," Tight Fit
Speaking of which, here's another bunch with a disco medley of a bunch of hits from two decades earlier. There's Stones, there's Kinks, there's Motown, there's other stuff, all done by reasonable soundalikes. No reason at all to go back and find this instead of listening to the originals.
38 - "Classical Muddly," Porstmouth Sinfonia
Another one, but this is a little more interesting. This group was formed at the Portsmouth School of Art in 1970, and they invited anyone with little or no musical training to pick an instrument, do their best to learn how to play, and then play together. The results were charmingly amateurish, and they achieved some fame and performed frequently until disbanding in 1979. But two years later, coinciding with the medley trend, they put together some of their takes at various familiar pieces, set them to a beat, and released a single that scraped into the Top 40. It's pretty fun, and makes stuff we think of as stuffy a lot more relatable. I like it a lot, and I also give it this chart's Uneasy Rider.
37 - "Everlasting Love," Rex Smith and Rachel Sweet
Only Brit hit for him, second for her. They take on this oft-covered song originated by Robert Knight in 1967. He belts overwroughtly, she goes for rock sultriness. They goof around and pretend to get married in the video. It's charmingly cheesy.
36 - "Wunderbar," Tenpole Tudor
Founded by Londoner Edward Tudor-Pole, this band first gained notice in the post-breakup Sex Pistols film The Great Rock n' Roll Swindle. They would pick up their only two Top 40s this year, the second being this weird little punk rocker/beer hall singalong about how life is bad but good anyway. Or something like that. A cool little tune.
35 - "Seasons of Gold," Gidea Park
Named for a London neighborhood, this is another disco group doing a medley, this one of the Four Seasons. The producer and main singer, Adrian Baker, does a pretty good Frankie Valli. Otherwise, nothing to hear here.
34 - "Happy Birthday," Stevie Wonder
Wonder wrote this song to make the case that there should be a U.S. national holiday to honor Martin Luther King Jr. Though it hit #2 here, it barely charted at home, but it still contributed to King's birthday being established as a holiday, and Wonder performed the song on January 20, 1986, at a celebration of the first official MLK Day. Just another fact that proves that Stevie is the man.
33 - "Stars on 45 (Volume 3)," Starsound
Yet another medley, this one by the Dutch group that really made these things popular. This one is mostly instrumental, consisting of the opening parts of songs ranging from the themes of Star Wars, M*A*S*H, and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, to pop and rock hits including "Layla," "Y.M.C.A.,"
"All Right Now," and even "Ma Baker." It gets some extra credit for that last one, but otherwise, it's completely irrelevant now.
32 - "Green Door," Shakin' Stevens
Stevens' second #1 was this cover of a 1956 Jim Lowe hit about a wild yet inaccessible party. Solid retro-rockabilly. Whether you liked what he did or not, he did it well.
31 - "Hooked on Classics," The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
The dance medley featuring Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Tchaikovsky, and many more went to #2 here and #10 in the U.S. I guess this would work if you want to work out but be cultured at the same time. I don't know why else this exists.
30 - "Under Your Thumb," Godley and Creme
In the States the ex-10cc duo only hit with 1985's "Cry," but at home they had two hits before that, the first being this haunting synthpop song about a man on a train encountering the ghost of a woman who had committed suicide by throwing herself from that very train. Another cool discovery, and something to slip onto any Halloween mix you might make.
29 - "Passionate Friend," The Teardrop Explodes
From Liverpool, this New Wave band's third and final U.K. Top 40 was this tune about the end of a love affair. Decent pop, but nothing that grabs me as much as the band's name.
28 - "Holliedaze," The Hollies
Another medley, this one stringing together a bunch of hits from the Manchester British Invasion vets. Useful because a few of the songs included weren't U.S. hits, but otherwise, listen to the originals in full, ferfucksake.
27 - "Girls on Film," Duran Duran
The Duranies third home hit (and first Top Ten) was this grooving pop-rocker about the exploitation of models, which ironically was marketed with a Godley and Creme-directed video containing sex and nudity. Irony abounds. But still, one of their better songs.
26 - "Chemistry," The Nolans
Born in Ireland but raised in Blackpool, sisters Anne, Denise, Maureen, Linda, Bernadette, and Colleen Nolan got their start as regulars on a Cliff Richard variety show, then broke through in 1979 with "I'm in the Mood for Dancing. which not only made the U.K. Top Five but also hit #1 in Japan. Their seventh of eight British Top 40s was this disco tune about clicking with someone. Sprightly, but forgettable. I didn't feel the spark.
25 - "Birdie Song," The Tweets
What this is is record producer Henry Hadaway's version of a song composed by Swiss accordionist Werner Thomas to accompany what anyone who has been to a wedding in the last thirty years knows as "The Chicken Dance." You know it. It's in your head now. You're fighting the temptation to start doing it, aren't you? I'm sorry.
24 - "Hand Held in Black and White," Dollar
Our second encounter with this Anglo-Canadian duo. I really have no idea what it's about. It mentions Tokyo and flying and graffiti. Otherwise, it's sevriceable synth-pop. More like a quarter than a dollar.
23 - "The Caribbean Disco Show," Lobo
This is not the American 70s star behind "Me and You and a Dog Named Boo," but rather a Dutchman who had a hit with a calypso medley highlighted by "The Banana Boat Song," and a song about a woman named Judy who drowned. This medley thing is even worse than the current Hollywood trend of remaking old hit movies. This may have been the rock bottom of British pop.
22 - "In and Out of Love," Imagination
The second of nine Top 40s for this London funk band was this midtempo ballad about a tumultuous relationship. Silkily soulful. Plus bonus points for the way singer Leee John spells his name. The triple e is genius.
21 - "Rainy Night in Georgia," Randy Crawford
The Georgia soulstress's fourth U.K hit was a cover of Brook Benton's 1970 hit about percipitation in Crawford's home state. She nails the lonely, hopeless vibe. Britain had it right in making her the pop star she wasn't at home.
In Part Two: barriers, holdups, and fairy tales.
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