Happy New Year everyone. We begin 2012 with a look back at the Top 100 songs of 1983. This week's show covered the bottom half of the chart, and this entry will cover the bottom half of the bottom half.
100 - "Far from Over," Frank Stallone
Sly's little brother's only moment in the Top 40 sun was this overblown slice of cheese off of the giant wheel of Gorgonzola that was Staying Alive. His career as a serious pop star was definitely not far from over.
99 - "Burning Down the House," Talking Heads
The rantings of David Byrne over spacey funk-rock. Clearly an 80s standard. "Three! Hun! Dred! Six! Tee! Five! De! Grees!"
98 - "It's Raining Again," Supertramp
Catchy but innocuous lite-rock from the band who originally called themselves Daddy. A wise decision.
97 - "Hot Girls in Love," Loverboy
"Some say she do, some say she don't; some say she will, some say she won't." Only Loverboy knows for sure. And perhaps her hairdresser.
96 - "Lawyers in Love," Jackson Browne
By far the strangest song of Browne's career. I still don't understand the significance of the title metaphor, or anything else in the lyrics. But it really doesn't matter. It's always a fun listening experience.
95 - "China Girl," David Bowie
Questionable title and stereotypical "Asian" motif that runs through the musical arrangement notwithstanding, I can't deny liking this. At least after Bowie threatens to "ruin everything you are," she comes back by calmly saying, "Oh baby, just you shut your mouth." Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
94 - "Your Love is Driving Me Crazy," Sammy Hagar
Surprisingly, this was this rocker/tequila magnate's biggest solo pop hit. Most people probably would have guessed "I Can't Drive 55." I certainly would have. I'm not even sure I'd heard this before. It's a generic rock song of this period, with a little bit of the double entendre (lines about "a tight fit, right on the money" and "hot sweet cherries on the vine") that would serve him well in his future gig with Van Halen.
93 - "How am I Supposed to Live Without You," Laura Branigan
The first of three entries on this list by Ms. Branigan is this aching ballad co-written by Michael Bolton, who'd somehow have a much bigger hit with it later. His popularity as a singer baffles me to this day.
92 - "She's a Beauty," The Tubes
The biggest hit for these San Francisco art-punks was this pop-rock confection in which singer Fee Waybill presents himself as a carnival barker, introducing a beautiful woman as he would a sideshow attraction. It's very keeping in line with much of their musical outfit. They had a wonderfully skewed point of view, and while this isn't their best song, it's not really a departure from what they normally did, either.
91 - "I'm Still Standing," Elton John
Sir Elton was "looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" on this spirited return to upbeat pop. It doesn't quite measure up to his 70s classics, but at least it reminded us all that he still had some life in him.
90 - "Faithfully," Journey
A lighter-ready ballad about life on the road away from one's lover from this San Fran band. Elton did this much better on "Tiny Dancer."
89 - "Don't Cry," Asia
The second and final Top Ten single from this supergroup featuring ex-members of King Crimson, Yes and Emerson, Lake and Palmer was this proggy pop-rocker in which singer John Wetton assures his lover that everything is all right now that he's around. Okay, but far from the fist-pumping classic that is "Heat of the Moment."
88 - "I Won't Hold You Back," Toto
From the same album that produced the monster hits "Rosanna" and "Africa" comes this flat ballad about letting someone go. These guys were much better when they picked up the tempo. Their ballads tend to blend into the background.
87 - "Muscles," Diana Ross
MJ writes, Miss Ross sings, I cringe. This is just awful.
86 - "Cum on Feel the Noize," Quiet Riot
These oxymoronically named metallers had their biggest hit by covering a U.K. hit by Britain's Slade. Of course, that particular misspelling of the word "come" has a certain connotation that eluded me at twelve. Ignorance is...well, not quite bliss, but it makes things a little less complicated.
85 - "Promises, Promises," Naked Eyes
The British duo's second-best-known hit. Smooth but boring.
84 - "I'll Tumble 4 Ya," Culture Club
Boy George and his less outrageous bandmates show up for the first time on this list with this pop fiesta. I'm still not sure what George means by "tumbling," but I think I'll politely decline his offer.
83 - "I Know There's Something Going On," Frida
Anna-Frid Lyngstad, the dark-haired lady from ABBA, quickly moved on to a solo career after that group's breakup, and it produced this slick rocker about suspicion that would be her only U.S. hit on her own. It's as catchy as a lot of her old band's hits. Whether that has anything to do with the fact that it was co-produced by Phil Collins, I'm not sure. But I like it. And apparently, Frida is now a bona fide princess, having married into German royalty. That's kinda cool.
82 - "The Look of Love," ABC
I love this breakthrough hit by these Englishmen so much. It's like a 40s movie about heartbreak among well-dressed, well-educated people. Just smart and cool. And it earns its happy ending.
81 - "Always Something There to Remind Me," Naked Eyes
This Bacharach/David composition had been a big international hit for Englishwoman Sandie Shaw in 1964, but its best American showing had been a #27 in 1970 for R.B. Greaves of "Take a Letter Maria" fame. But then these guys took it into the Top Ten. A little too slick for the material, but the Bacharach genius still shines through.
80 - "Human Nature," Michael Jackson
The first of Michael's Thriller hits to appear on this list. More to come, obvious. At the time, it was overshadowed a bit by the more upbeat tunes on the album, but I've grown to appreciate it as pretty damn great, and I think others have too.
79 - "Delirious," Prince
The Minneapolis legend had his second pop Top Ten with this jumpy song about a lady who drives him crazy. His only hope for sanity, apparently, would be for her to "take me 4 a little ride up and down in and out and around your lake." I'm not sure, but I think that means "have sex with me."
78 - "All Right," Christopher Cross
This was the first single from Another Page, Cross' follow-up to his huge 1979 debut LP. The song failed to crack the Top Ten, and it's no mystery. Even by his low standards, this midtempo number about trying to patch up a relationship is nothing. It has neither the bombast of "Ride Like the Wind," the tranquilizing effect of "Sailing," nor the showmanship of "Arthur's Theme." His moment had clearly passed.
77 - "Our House," Madness
More Brits, this time the ska-pop stars from Camden Town with their biggest U.S. single, a look back at growing up in a full, active home. Another song that hits my personal reminiscence sweet spot.
76 - "Come Dancing," The Kinks
Ray Davies and his literate cohorts had their first Top Ten hit since 1970's "Lola" with this jaunty journey backward to Ray's childhood, when his older sister used to go out on Saturday dates with boys to the local "Palais," where she would dance to big bands. It's very evocative, and turns poignant when he mentions that his sister now has teenage daughters that go out ("now it's her turn to wait"), and then wonders if perhaps he should invite her to come dance to his band someday. And having the swing band come in at the end was a nice touch. Overall, it stands proudly with earlier classics like "A Well-Respected Man" and "Celluloid Heroes" In my opinon, anyway.
Tomorrow, or maybe Thursday: felines, an insect, and a creature not of this Earth.
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