January 14, 1984 Part One

Somewhat fittingly, we follow up the best of 1983 with a chart from early 1984. And for the record, there are only two songs that the two lists have in common.

40 - "Send Me an Angel," Real Life
39 - "In the Mood," Robert Plant
38 - "Remember the Nights," The Motels
37 - "Synchronicity II," The Police
36 - "Baby I Lied," Deborah Allen
35 - "Yah Mo B There," James Ingram with Michael McDonald
34 - "Middle of the Road," The Pretenders
33 - "Cum on Feel the Noize," Quiet Riot
32 - "The Sign of Fire," The Fixx
31 - "So Bad," Paul McCartney

We begin with bands from outside the United States. Melbourne, Australia New Wavers Real Life had their biggest hit about asking for heavenly assistance in order to be "lucky in love." The synths and the female backing wails are kind of cool, and I think it was in this video where I first saw those octagon-shaped digital drums that so many bands were using for about a three-year period. And of course, they returned to the charts six years later with a remix of this same song. I like the original better. England's The Police are here with the co-title track to their biggest album. It's a dark rocker about a man's suburban nightmare of a life, and how it's slowly moving him towards his breaking point. Probably the most ambitious and interesting of their hits. The mostly British (except for Akron, Ohio-born Chrissie Hynde) Pretenders are present with this crunching jam about seeing the changes in the world and oneself, and how there's only so much one can do to change things and live a life. I think that's it. Great song, regardless. And England's The Fixx had their third American hit with a song about fire and trying to talk to someone on the phone. Or something. I can't figure it out, and the song isn't nearly good enough to make me want to.

Two ex-singers of huge bands are in this section. Robert Plant had his second solo Top 40 with this song about craving something. But it's music that he's in the mood for, not what you were thinking of, you dirty people. Phil Collins drummed on it. Okay song, nothing great. And Sir Paul followed up "Say Say Say" with this awful ballad about really loving someone. His falsetto on this is nearly unlistenable. The whole thing is just so...what's the word I'm looking for?

Then there are the American bands. The Motels are here with their third of four Top 40 hits. It's about looking back on past romances, not unlike previous hit "Suddenly Last Summer." Nowhere near as good, though. Just radio filler. And Quiet Riot are back again covering Slade. I have no more to say about that than I did the first two times.

The other two songs in this group are a country hit and a pop duet. Memphis singer Deborah Allen had her only pop hit with a song in which she tells the man she left that she wasn't being truthful when she said she could live without him. It's more of a power ballad than a traditional country song, but that has seemed to work in that radio format to varying degrees over the past few decades. It's all right. And James Ingram teamed up with ex-Doobie Bro Michael McDonald on this bouncy tune that seems to endorse praying, what with its opening mention of "Heavenly Father," and the fact that the "Yah" who will "mo b there" if you "reach out and call His name." is probably short for "Yahweh" or "Jehovah." I don't know why these two felt the need to straddle the line between inspirational and nonsensical, but they did. I mo think this song is "meh."

30 - "Stay With Me Tonight," Jeffrey Osborne
29 - "Gold," Spandau Ballet
28 - "An Innocent Man," Billy Joel
27 - "Church of the Poison Mind," Culture Club
26 - "Let the Music Play," Shannon
25 - "Holiday," Madonna
24 - "Time Will Reveal," DeBarge
23 - "If I'd Been the One," .38 Special
22 - "Pink Houses," John Cougar Mellencamp
21 - "Think of Laura," Christopher Cross

We'll begin this bunch by looking at a couple of R&B hits. Jeffrey Osborne made another of his several small dents on the pop chart with this plea for his date to sleep over. Actually, it might be the best of the bunch. He does a good job conveying sexual urgency. This doesn't blend in to the background like much of his other stuff. And the six DeBarge siblings who together formed one of Motown's biggest 80s groups had their third pop hit with this pretty ballad about how the passage of the hours and days will make clear how powerful the love between a couple is. It's not bad. I'd rather hear it than "Rhythm of the Night."

There are three other bands in this section. England's Spandau Ballet had their second of only three major U.S. hits with this poppy number about supporting and believing in the person you're in love with. I think. Regardless, I like the simile "Love is like a high prison wall." Cutlure Club continued the run of hits that began in '83 with this rollicking Motownesque bumper that is apparently about certain religions' negative attitudes toward homosexuality. Can't think of any offhand, but I guess there are one or two. Looking back, it's amazing how much gay subject matter Boy George managed to get on the radio back then. And it's not like he camouflaged them with his wardrobe. He's probably braver than he gets credit for. And Florida's .38 Special are here with a "put yourself in my shoes" rocker, directed to a departed lover. Catchy chorus, okay song. But my favorite of theirs will always be "Caught Up in You."

There are also three more male solo singers. Billy Joel is here with the title track to the genre-hopping album that produced the Motown riff "Tell Her About It," the Four Seasons-biting "Uptown Girl," and the doo-wop tribute "The Longest Time." This one, a ballad about being a shoulder for someone who's been hurt in the past to cry on, is apparently an attempt at the style of Ben E. King and The Drifters. I guess I hear that a little. A decent song nonetheless. For the first time, John Cougar added his real last name to his stage name on a single, and that single happened to be this midtempo rocker about the dreams that people have, and how they get through life regardless of whether or not they achieve those dreams. I don't think it's his best song, but it may be his definitive one. And Chris Cross had his last Top 40 hit with this song that was originally written about a college girl who was killed by a stray bullet, but became a hit after General Hospital began playing it upon the return from the presumed dead of Laura Spencer. Man, I've had to look up General Hospital a lot while doing this, between the songs that have been used on the show, the song written about the show, and Rick Springfield. And I haven't even run across that Jack Wagner song yet.

I'll close the first have with a couple of dance-floor classics. Shannon Brenda Greene only made the pop charts once, but that one was this fantastically enduring slab of electro-funk about finding love, losing love, and finding it again, all in the course of dancing to one song. I'm pretty certain that this one would fill any dance floor in the world in an instant. And Madonna Louise Ciccone made her first impression on the American pop landscape with this exuberant burst of disco fun about the need for "one day to get together, to release the pressure." Great stuff, but I doubt that many people could have scene a massive, nearly-three-decade-old career coming based on this bit of fluff. I do hope she does it at the Super Bowl, though.

Tomorrow: a song based on another song, a lizard that reaps what he sows, and a song to poke eyes and throw pies by.