July 1976. Britain is in the midst of a record-setting heat wave and drought. Among other effects, it caused swarms of billions of seven-spotted ladybirds along some of England’s coastlines. Much smaller swarms of people were buying the following records.
40 - “Fool to Cry,” The Rolling Stones
Their 20th Top Ten was this ballad about how people are always telling Mick Jagger that his tears are unwise. People are so judgmental. This song was worth crying for.
39 - “Midnight Train to Georgia,” Gladys Knight and the Pips
One of the greats scraped into the Top Ten here three years after hitting #1 in the U.S. They found it late and shortchanged it? That’s a stunning mistake for a nation where trainspotting is a popular hobby.
38 - “Fernando,” ABBA
The Swedes’ had their third #1 with a song about a Mexican war. They were so good at making the weirdest subjects sound beautiful.
37 - “Dance the Body Music,” Osibisa
The second and last hit for the London Afrobeat combo was this happy dance track. It sounds like a fun funk-jazz-disco jam session. It’s one of the few songs I might like better if it were three times longer.
36 - “My Resistance is Low,” Robin Sarstedt
Born with the first name Clive to British civil servants in India, Sarstedt went by his middle name on his on e big hit, a cover of a song written and performed by legendary songwriter Hoagy Carmichael in the 1952 Jane Russell film The Las Vegas Story. I imagine this version, a cheekily delivered jazzy waltz, is pretty faithful to the original. A charming anachronism.
35 - “The Flasher,” Mistura featuring Lloyd Michels
Can’t find much background about this funk instrumental. I do know it was big with the Northern Soul crowd, and Mr. Michels is the guy contributing the trumpet solos. A fine track that I’m glad to have found.
34 - “Me and Baby Brother,” War
This became the California funk group’s second Brit hit two years after it’s first release. Somehow, this song about drinking “funky wine” charted here and the song they did with the U.K.’s own Eric Burdon about spilling wine didn’t.
33 - “This is It,” Melba Moore
The biggest hit for the Tony-winning New York singer-actress was this Van McCoy disco production. A decent groove that delicately balances funk and strings, with a showy vocal performance. More than respectable.
32 - “Shake it Down,” Mud
The Surrey glammers penultimate hit sees them pretty obviously going disco. The spacey synth lines go down smooth, but there’s still a significant stench of desperation. They even employ disco whistles. Transparent trend hopping.
31 - “No Charge,” J.J. Barrie
Canadian singer/songwriter/band manager Barry Authors managed a #1 U.K. smash with a version of the “Mom shames ungrateful brat by reminding her of all she gives him for free” country tune that Melba Montgomery hit with in North America two years earlier. It’s another example of Britain’s intermittent love of the cheesy side of county’s music.
30 - “My Sweet Rosalie,” Brotherhood of Man
These people followed up “Save Your Kisses for Me” by sticking to the gooey-love-song-with-twist-ending formula (Rosalie is a dog!). This time, however, it only got this high. You keep twisting something, it’s going to break sooner or later.
29 - “Man to Man,” Hot Chocolate
Errol Brown’s soul-pop crew added to their hit pile with this track about a man talking to his wife’s lover and trying to negotiate which one of them should leave her life. A different approach, but did either of them think maybe the woman should have some input in this? I don’t imagine so. Pop songs can raise interesting sociological questions sometimes.
28 - “Let Your Love Flow,” The Bellamy Brothers
David and Homer’s country-pop sugar pill got a Top Ten here to go with it’s #1 at home. Perhaps the best John Denver song John Denver had nothing to do with.
27 - “I Recall a Gypsy Woman,” Don Williams
More proof of the brief British country boom comes in the form of this hit by the tall Texan, a number about a man remembering when he lost his virginity to a Romany lady. Williams’ gentle baritone charms and disarms. He’s an underrated star of the genre.
26 - “It Only Takes a Minute,” 100 Ton and a Feather
More from Jonathan King, the creep who had a bunch of novelty hits. This a relatively straight cover of the 1975 Tavares hit, most notable for its violin use. But again, fuck this guy.
25 - “What a Wonderful World,” Johnny Nash
The Houston singer’s last hit here was this shuffling cover of the Sam Cooke staple about the limits of one’s education not preventing one from knowing about love. A pleasant occasion to hear an always worthwhile voice.
24 - “You’re My Best Friend,” Queen
They followed up “Bohemian Rhapsody” with a sweet love song John Deacon wrote to his wife. And they were just as convincing. They were special.
23 - “Boston Tea Party,” The Sensational Alex Harvey Band
As the former colonies now known as the United States of America were celebrating 200 years of independence, these Scots were reminding their old colonizer of one of the key events that led to that revolution. It’s not straight history, but it does refer to George Washington’s wooden teeth and surmises that the title event is the reason most Americans prefer coffee. A fun glam artifact.
22 - “The Wanderer,” Dion
A reissue of Mr. DiMucci’s 1961 celebration of living an unattached, nomadic lifestyle. One of the classics of the late period of early rock. Though I wonder if he eventually settled down with Rosie. There has to be a reason he had her name tattooed on his chest.
21 - “You are My Love,” Liverpool Express
The Merseysiders’ first and biggest hit was this highly-sung soft rock love song. It has delusions of grandeur, particularly in the instrumental break, but it’s just a droopy playlist filler. More like a handcar than an express train.
In Part Two: a biker, a homewrecker, and a piece of farm equipment.
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