July 13, 1985. The date of this chart also happens to be the date of Live Aid, the two famine relief concerts held in London and Philadelphia. I think I speak for most of the people who watched when I say that the most memorable moment was, without doubt, the beamed-in performance of the Russian band Autograph. To this day, I frequently hum "Нам нужен мир" in the shower. Meanwhile, here were the other songs in the British air at the time.
40 - “Genie,” BB&Q Band
Assembled by two European impresarios from musicians from the New York City boroughs of Brooklyn, the Bronx, and Queens, this funk group scored the last of their two hits with this tune offering to serve a lady in the fashion of the Arabian mythological figure known as a “djinn.” Pretty derivative of the genre at the time. My wish for an interesting song was not granted.
39 - “Living on Video,” Trans-X
The only hit for this Montreal synthpop act was this futuristic-sounding track with synthetic voice effects and lyrics about computers aiding in our fantasies (like that would ever happen). It’s expansive, it has a great hook, and it deserved the Top Ten success only Britain gave it.
38 - “All Fall Down,” Five Star
The first of the tunes that were around two months ago. I’m a little more charmed this time. I hear a little bit of real funk.
37 - “Love is Just the Great Pretender,” Amimal Nightlife
The second of two hits for these Brits was this snazzy jazz-popper about romantic artifice. They come off as a more soulful version of Level 42 here. I like it. And if they really wanted to be pretenders, they could have asked their drummer to make a slight adjustment to his name: Paul Waller.
36 - “Loving You,” Feargal Sharkey
The second solo hit for the ex-Undertone was this overwrought synth ballad. Everything about this annoys me. It’s like the even shittier cousin of Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away.”
35 - “All Night Holiday,” Russ Abbot
Chester native Russell Roberts took his stage name when he joined the comedy band the Black Abbots in the seventies, then scored a couple solo hits in this decade, the last being this unironic dance track. Mediocre voice, banal backing track, overall pointlessness.
34 - “Dancin’ in the Key of Life,” Steve Arrington
The Ohioan’s second and final Brit hit was this bit of celebratory funk with a little Christian messaging thrown in, but not in a way that seems forced. I can only assume he’s dancing to a certain Stevie Wonder album.
33 - “In Your Car,” Cool Notes
Another second and last, this time by British funk-poppers. Basically, it’s a woman telling a man that she’ll let him take her for a drive, but she’s not interested in “parking.” Although she seems more open to the possibility by the end of this song. Maybe both parties involved should take a listen to one Meat Loaf to be fully informed about how this sort of thing can turn out.
32 - “Paisley Park,” Prince
The song that would inspire the name of both his record label and his recording studio. It's a strutting rocker about an idyllic place full of love and acceptance for the lost and lonely. Effortlessly great, and a reminder of how Wendy and Lisa's backing vocals enhanced so many of his hits.
31 - “19,” Paul Hardcastle
Another visit with the #1 smash that sets documentary clips about the lasting effects of war on Vietnam vets to dance music. It's still bizarre that this happened.
30 - “King in a Catholic Style,” China Crisis
The Merseysiders' final Top Twenty was this song that I think is trying to make a statement about politics and leaders and such, but I have no idea what. It's just bouncy pseudo-profundity. It's easier to sound like you're saying something than actually saying something.
29 - “A View to A Kill,” Duran Duran
I am still baffled that the U.K. denied this the Triple Crown by one place. It's a great song, a great Bond theme, a perfect distillation of sex and violence and cool. I would dance into the fire to this.
28 - “Obsession,” Animotion
The L.A. band's triple Top Ten synth/dance album is, I've decided, essentially a prequel to the Human League's "Don't You Want Me." This shows the couple before, laser-focused on capturing each other for the selfish reasons that are later revealed. They eventually stopped being what the other wanted them to be. Or maybe I'm full of shit.
27 - “Round and Around,” Jaki Graham
The Birmingham singer's first solo Top Ten was this lite-funk love strut. Good for what it is, but nothing that reaches beyond that.
26 - “She Sells Sanctuary,” Cult
The breakthrough hit for these Bradford boys was this infectious goth-rocker about looking for safety in a crazy world. Ian Astbury's enunciation on some of the lines leaves a lot to be desired (he's not actually saying "Gonna head this time, paint my back thigh."), but otherwise, this is one of the great alt-rock party starters of the decade.
25 - “The Shadow of Love,” The Damned
The punks-turned-goths are here with this rockabillysh number that makes romance sound like a curse, but one you should allow in to your life anyway. A pretty good description, if you ask me. Solid song.
24 - “The Word Girl,” Scritti Politti
Another look at Green Gartside's biggest home hit, a reggae lark about a complicated relationship. I still don't get how this was bigger here than "Perfect Way."
23 - “Come To Milton Keynes,” The Style Council
The tenth hit for Paul Weller's second big band was this satirical jab at the dark side of a posh London suburb. This is what he does well, and there's always room in my ears to hear it.
22 - “Smuggler’s Blues,” Glenn Frey
My favourite song by my least-favourite solo Eagle became his second and final hit here. He's okay looking at the dark corners of society, because he comes off as convincingly scuzzy. I believe him as a horrible person. I have no way of really knowing whether that's true or not, but he convinces me of this more than he does of anything he tries to present in other songs.
21 - “Money’s Too Tight to Mention,” Simply Red
Mick Hucknall's crew's first hit here was this cover of an American soul group's criticism of Ronald Reagan's U.S. economic policies. That seems odd, but I still dig this. They became cheesy, but early on, I don't mind these guys, and I will never deny loving "Holding Back the Years."
In Part Two: cricket, a euphemism for...something, and a repurposed rat rhapsody.
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