March 1976. On the 28th, The Man Who Skied Down Everest would become the first Canadian film to win the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature. In that spirit, I will now document the songs that were climbing the mountain that was the national singles chart.
Bonus Track #1: 73 - “Linda Write Me a Letter,” Choya (CanCon!)
Can’t find much about this band, and the song is pretty boring folk pop. But it caught my eye because it seems between this an “Linda Put the Coffee On,” there seemed to be a mid-70s boomlet of CanCon Linda songs. And also because it was released on the Realistic label, which like the Realistic brand of electronics, was owned by Radio Shack. And I just saw Captain Marvel, so that continued my nostalgia for a dead brand. The first computer I ever operated was a Tandy. Sigh.
Bonus Track #2: 56 - “Suspicious Love,” Copperpenny (CanCon!)
From Kitchener, this band had been through multiple lineups and labels for over a decade when they finally managed a Top 50 with this soft rocker about romance clouded by doubt. An okay song that slides right in beside the Chilliwacks and Ian Thomases of the day.
48 - “Having a Party,” Crescent Street Stompers (CanCon!)
Our second encounter with these guys is this glam-rock cover of Sam Cooke’s 1962 hit. It’s all right. Can’t tell you much more about them than before, but I have found that there is also a Crescent Street in Montreal, so maybe that’s where they’re from.
47 - “Anyway You Want It,” Charity Brown (CanCon!)
Another one from Kitchener, and another artist we’ve met before, going Top Ten with another sassy soul raveup. I don’t know if I’d call her great, but she can at least be classed as a reliably steady provider of above-average CanCon.
46 - “One Night Lovers,” Tom Middleton (CanCon!)
One of a handful of hits by this guy from Victoria, B.C., this is a blah pop ballad about a one-night stand written by American MOR maestro Paul Davis. I don’t love it even for a second.
43 - “General Hand Grenade,” Trooper (CanCon!)
The Vancouverites second hit was this rocker that describes two people: the titular military official and a lady named Isabella Band Aid. Apparently, he drinks lemonade, while she prefers Gatorade. I think it’s supposed to be some kind of social commentary, but I have no idea what it’s saying. Pretty catchy though.
42 - “In France They Kiss on Main Street,” Joni Mitchell (CanCon!)
The Alberta native’s last home Top 20 was this jazz-folk-rock reminiscence of wild times in her youth. It’s the moment when she was still sounding her most commercial, but there were signs that she was turning more experimental and less accessible.
40 - “Lazy Love,” New City Jam Band (CanCon!)
This one is a bit complicated. It was recorded by a Vancouver rock band called Studebaker Hawk, but their label released it under a different name because it was poppier than most of their material. And it was originally written and performed by a French artist named Napoleon Jones, aka David Christie, who we encountered on the British charts with his 1982 hit “Saddle Up.” The song is much simpler than all that. It’s pretty easygoing pop that sounds effortless, in a good way but not the best way. Nice, but forgettable.
36 - “Sweeney Todd Folder,” Sweeney Todd (CanCon!)
Named for a fictional English barber who killed people and baked their remains into pies, this Vancouver band had their first hit with this glammy number about...I’m not sure what. I can’t find lyrics, and those I can make out in the sometimes-inscrutable voice of future “Hot Child in the City” star Nick Gilder are hard to make sense of. It’s okay, but they’d do better artistically and commercially with their next single, “Roxy Roller.” Then Gilder would leave, and the band would carry on for one more album with their new vocalist, a teenager named Bryan Adams.
31 - “Y’Don’t Fight the Sea,” Terry Jacks (CanCon!)
The Jackster’s last home hit was a pop tune about feeling helpless on a boat when a storm comes. It was co-written with Beach Boy Al Jardine, who would later record it with some of his band mates for a solo album. It’s okay, which by my standards for this guy, makes it a relative masterpiece.
30 - “Loving You Baby,” Wednesday (CanCon!)
The second and last Top Ten for these guys from Oshawa, Ontario was this cover of Elton John’s unsuccessful 1968 debut single. The melody certainly sounds Estonian, but the lyrics are pretty uninspired, which lends credence to the story that Bernie Taupin didn’t write them but was credited so he could get a cut of the royalties. Haven’t heard the original, but this is pleasant, average pop with a shelf life.
21 - “Love Hurts,” Jim Capaldi
The former Traffic man released this cover of the song recorded by both The Everly Brothers and Roy Orbison around the same time Nazareth did. His almost-disco version was clearly the bigger hit in Britain, while the opposite was true in the U.S. Here? Well, Nazareth got al the way to #1, but Capaldi got to #15, so we were open to both. We’re cool like that.
13 - “Dolannes Melodie,” Jean-Claude Borelly
This Parisian trumpeter had a surprise hit here and in many other non-U countries with this instrumental that sounds kind of Spanish. I don’t get it, but clearly, many did.
11 - “So Glad You’re a Woman,” The Neon Philharmonic
The third song I’ve covered here that I can find no trace of. This was an American band who had a hit in 1967, but after diminishing returns, they sold their name to a producer, who put out this song with no connection to the original group. And for some reason it only hit here. I did listen to that 1967 track, “Morning Girl.” It’s intriguing baroque pop. Worth a listen.
10 - “Bohemian Rhapsody,” Queen
We did our part for this one right at the beginning. America came close to doing its part in 1992, but came up one spot short. You guys down there could still make it right, any time. Freddie deserves his Triple Crown.
9 - “Lady Bump,” Penny McLean
Born Gertrude Wirschinger in Austria, McLean sang with the German disco outfit Silver Convention before hitting on her own with this track about her proficiency at Ned Flanders’ most feared dance step. It pales against her old group’s hits.
8 - “I Feel Like a Bullet (In the Gun of Robert Ford),” Elton John
We alone gave Sir Elton’s comparison of his romantic betrayal to the projectile that killed Jesse James a Top Ten. I approve. This deserves to be better-remembered than it is.
7 - “Only Sixteen,” Dr. Hook
These guys cover Sam Cooke adequately, North America hands them Top Tens. But it does shine in comparison to the horrors to come.
6 - “Action,” Sweet
One of the glammers’ last great bangers was a Top 20 in those other two places, but we gave it a well-deserved Top Five. They could have had a piece of this, but I guess they didn’t want it badly enough.
5 - “Wow,” Andre Gagnon (CanCon!)
Quebec composer/pianist Gagnon has written film scores and even an opera, but he also had a domestic hit single with this discotheque-Ready combination of samba beats, wah-wah guitar, and his ivory-tickling. It’s like a better, lyric-free version of “Love is in the Air.
4 - “Love to Love You Baby,” Donna Summer
Again, we were the ones who fulfilled hot-and-bothered Donna’s desire for a #1 when others wouldn’t. We may be quiet, but we’re not shy.
3 - “Money Honey,” The Bay City Rollers
Another one we pushed to the top, giving them two in a row after “Saturday Night.” It’s a pretty sharp pop-rocker, so it’s all right with me. Some decent boogie piano on it, too.
2 - “Fanny (Be Tender with My Love),” Bee Gees
The title obviously limited its chances for British success, and it got to #12 in the States. We pushed it way up here. I can back that. It’s a quality midtempo disco ballad.
And 43 years ago, Canada loved it some...
1 - “Theme from S.W.A.T.,” The THP Orchestra (CanCon!)
Some more convolutedness. This theme tune to an American cop show was originally performed by composer Barry DeVorzon and his orchestra. It was then covered by Rhythm Heritage, who took it to #1 in the U.S. That version was climbing the charts here, but it suddenly stalled at #37 when a Toronto disco group decided to use CanCon regulations to their advantage and put out their version as a single. It was a smart, if cynical, move. Comparing the two versions, I have to say they’re quite alike, but there’s just a bit more funky substance to the Rhythm Heritage take.
There it goes again. We’ll be back in Britain next time. See you then.
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