20 - “Respect,” Adeva
The first hit from New Jerseyite Patricia Collins was this house cover of the Aretha Franklin classic. She doesn’t really hold to the melody, so it just sounds like a thousand other dance tracks.
19 - “Where is the Love,” Mica Paris and Will Downing
Londoner Michelle Wallen teamed up with American Downing on this cover of a 1972 Roberta Flack/Donny Hathaway hit. Sung well, but adds nothing that the original didn’t provide much more of.
18 - “Four Letter Word,” Kim Wilde
The second-generation star’s seventh Top Ten was this heartbreak ballad. It has its moments. The opening couplet “I tell ya/It’s hell, yeah” is a bit awkward. But the use of the phrase “the pits of the world” made me smile in remembrance of one of John McEnroe’s most famous Wimbledon tantrums.
17 - “That’s the Way Love Is,” Ten City
A funkier version of house music was starting to emerge from major cities in Middle America, and one of the biggest hits of this wave came from this Chicago outfit. It’s got great bass and piano, and overtop is a real song about romance gone sour, sung soulfully by the fantastically named Byron Stingily. This rises well above its genre.
16 - “Baby Don’t Forget My Number,” Milli Vanilli
This was the first of three straight U.S. #1’s for the infamous German duo, but it only got this high here. I guess they had developed more of an immunity from Frank Farian scams because of greater exposure to Boney M.
15 - “Be My Twin,” Brother Beyond
The third hit for this boy band was this musically cliched but lyrically bizarre tune about wanting something more than a mere lover. Is it projected narcissism? What does a “petrol blue” smile look like? And why does he want to “cross your heart with a credit card?” More interesting than it has any right to be.
14 - “Get on the Dance Floor,” Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock
The Harlem duo of Robert Ginyard and Rodney Bryce are best remembered for the hip-hop classic “It Takes Two,” but this call to boogie was an even bigger hit than that here. It’s okay, but history has made the right choice.
13 - “Wait!” Robert Howard and Kym Mazelle
Under his real name, Blow Monkeys frontman Dr. Robert teamed up with American singer Mazelle on this energetic disco track about a couple who can’t get in sync. Don’t hesitate, find this now and bust some moves. It’s good for you.
12 - “Good Life,” Inner City
The second and biggest hit for the Detroit duo of producer Kevin Saunderson and singer Paris Grey was this slice of the techno-house sound that was emerging from the Motor City. Repeat what I told you to do with the previous song and keep the party going, even if you’re the only one there.
11 - “Waiting for a Star to Fall,” Boy Meets Girl
The only U.K. hit for this Seattle duo who had written hits for Whitney Houston was this drippy MOR track. Very 80s, in all the worst ways possible, Don’t bother with this, unless you want to end your party and clear the room.
10 - “Love Train,” Holly Johnson
After leaving Frankie Goes to Hollywood and extricating himself from that recording contract, Johnson scored his hpfirst solo hit with this exuberant dance-pop celebration of romance. Bouncy, bubbly, and beautiful. Stoke it up.
9 - “Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird,” Will To Power
This Miami dance-pop thing had a North American #1 with this soulless, pointless medley of hits by Peter Frampton and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Awful. God save Britain for denying it the Triple Crown. This might have even bottomed “Seasons in the Sun.”
8 - “Buffalo Stance,” Neneh Cherry
And we swing hard back to the sublime with the amazing breakthrough single from the mighty Ms. Cherry. Apparently, it’s just about how cool she and her crew are. From this evidence, that’s undeniable. Funk, attitude, swagger, a huge hook, multiple bridges. It all adds up to one of the decade’s greatest singles. Didn’t win a Triple Crown, but got to #3 in all three charts. That works for me. A Perfect Cube for a perfect song.
7 - “Cuddly Toy,” Roachford
Fronted by London singer Andrew Roachford, this group scored its first and biggest hit with this exuberant soul-rocker promising devotion to a prospective lover. Mr. Roachford’s passionate vocal helps boost it up from good to very good. I feel for it.
Fronted by London singer Andrew Roachford, this group scored its first and biggest hit with this exuberant soul-rocker promising devotion to a prospective lover. Mr. Roachford’s passionate vocal helps boost it up from good to very good. I feel for it.
6 - “Crackers International EP,” Erasure
The dance-pop duo scored their second #2 with this extended-player, headlined by “Stop!” a burbling synthpop promise of romantic reunion. More proof of Andy Bell’s pop-singing brilliance.
5 - “She Drives Me Crazy,” Fine Young Cannibals
The track that broke the band in America and scored two-thirds of a Triple Crown had to settle for being their only Top Five at home. I feel it deserved better. It’s a snappy pop song, and it’s hard to deny that unique percussion sound. Apparently it was achieved by attaching a speaker and a microphone to a snare drum, but I still like to picture a guy surrounded by balloons and having to pop them one by one to the beat.
4 - “You Got It,” Roy Orbison
Just weeks after his death from a heart attack, the powerfully-piped Texan was high in the charts for the first time in over two decades with this drama-rock pledge of fealty, co-written by his fellow Travelling Wilburys Tom Petty and Jeff Lynne. It’s a great showcase for the timeless Orbison tenor, and that’s all it needed to be. And suddenly, I’m imagining what would have happened if Roy and Freddie Mercury had collaborated on a single. With Jim Steinman. I think I just blew my own mind.
3 - “Especially for You,” Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan
The actors who played the principals in that wedding Angry Anderson soundtracked teamed up for this okay romantic ballad. I probably think higher of it having just been reminded of “Waiting for a Star to Fall.” They were stars, this was driven by some degree of public demand, it succeeded. Can’t get too upset about it, even if I wanted to.
2 - “The Living Years,” Mike and the Mechanics
The biggest hit for Genesis drummer Mike Rutherford’s side piece was this overblown power ballad about having regrets about all the things left unresolved when one’s father passes away. I wondered if changes in my own life thirty years later would change my opinion of this, and...nope. It’s still contrived, forced tearjerking, with a children’s choir added just to coax out a few extra drops. Another Triple Crown mercifully denied by the Brits, and yes, this definitely would have knocked off Terry Jacks. That’s another gift basket you owe, Terry.
And thirty years ago, they were all looking up at...
The biggest hit for Genesis drummer Mike Rutherford’s side piece was this overblown power ballad about having regrets about all the things left unresolved when one’s father passes away. I wondered if changes in my own life thirty years later would change my opinion of this, and...nope. It’s still contrived, forced tearjerking, with a children’s choir added just to coax out a few extra drops. Another Triple Crown mercifully denied by the Brits, and yes, this definitely would have knocked off Terry Jacks. That’s another gift basket you owe, Terry.
And thirty years ago, they were all looking up at...
1 - “Something’s Got a Hold of My Heart,” Marc Almond and Gene Pitney
Five years after leaving Soft Cell, Almond got to the Top by teaming up with the Connecticut singer on a cover of a song Pitney himself took into the Top Five here in 1967. It’s lush and wonderful in that old school way, but Pitney blows Almond away vocally in a way that says, “You May have done me a favour, son, but don’t have any illusions about who the real master is.”
Another closing, another show. More Britain in our next episode. Ta.
Five years after leaving Soft Cell, Almond got to the Top by teaming up with the Connecticut singer on a cover of a song Pitney himself took into the Top Five here in 1967. It’s lush and wonderful in that old school way, but Pitney blows Almond away vocally in a way that says, “You May have done me a favour, son, but don’t have any illusions about who the real master is.”
Another closing, another show. More Britain in our next episode. Ta.
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