GATW: UKT40 July 16, 1988 Part Two

The finish.

20 - “Love Bites,” Def Leppard

The Leps fourth hit here.  #1 in the U.S., #6 in Canada, #11 here.  That seems like a fair result for a decent machine-crafted power ballad.

19 - “Monkey,” George Michael 

George got a little rocky on this one.  North America loved it, but Britain wasn’t so addicted, denying it a Triple Crown with authority, holding it to #13.  I feel we were right to reward his sonic versatility.

18 - “Foolish Beat,” Debbie Gibson

Another Triple Crown denied by the Brits, but this slick, solid ballad from the American teen queen at least made the Top Ten.  That’s better.

17 - “Wild World,” Maxi Priest

Londoner Max Elliott had his second home hit with this reggae-lite cover of a 1970 Cat Stevens hit.  It’s charming in its gentle way, and different enough from the original.

16 - “Tougher than the Rest,” Bruce Springsteen

Although not released as a single in North America, this was the highest-charter from Tunnel of Love over here.  It’s a slow-burning midtempo number about two lonely people finding imperfect-but-adequate companionship in each other.  It’s the Boss depicting life in the seedy bar milieu he often returns to, and this reminds you why.

15 - “I Want Your Love,” Transvision Vamp

The Putney hard rockers first hit was this simple demand for affection and affection only.  Wendy James says she doesn’t even “want your books on Marilyn or Bobby D.”  I’ll take them, thanks, if you’re offering.

14 - “Dirty Diana,” Michael Jackson 

This time, it was Canada who threw up the Triple  Crown block, holding it to #5.  That was wrong.  Maybe I don’t believe MJ in real life as the victim of a predatory groupie, but for the length of this, he sells me on the idea.

13 - “Cross My Heart,” Eighth Wonder

The last of two hits by this British pop group was this dance pop trifle whose production credit could read “I Can’t Believe it’s nor Stock/Aitken/Waterman.”  The band broke up, singer Patsy Kensit immediately went on to play Mel Gibson’s love interest in Lethal Weapon 2, and that’s all I got.

12 - “Don’t Blame it on That Girl/Wap Bam Boogie,” Matt Bianco 

The last for three hits for this British jazz-pop group, who decided to give themselves a name that sounded like it could be that of.a spy or playboy, was this double sider.  The A is a sambaish swinger about a lady who uses her beauty to get ahead,while the B is nonsensical but fun dance-funk.  The a is better by quite a margin.

11 - “Tribute (Right On),” Pasadenas 

The first hit by these U.K. funk soul brothers was this, um, tribute to the hitmakers of the rock era, from Little Richard and Elvis through to Sam Cooke and James Brown and on to Motown and Philly soul.  A nice listen, and a good starting place if you just want to remind yourself of great old stuff to put on your next playlist.

Don’t jump out of a moving car and lip sync any of the songs in the Top Ten.  #commonsensechallenge

10 - “In the Air Tonight (‘88 Remix),” Phil Collins 

The creepy classic returned to the Top Five seven years after it debuted in this remixed form.  I guess it made it more club-friendly, but it blunts a lot of what made the original so iconic.  It even messes a bit with the drum break.  No.

9 - “Roses are Red,” The Mac Band featuring The McCampbell Brothers 

Led by the four McCampbell siblings of Flint, Michigan, this band’s biggest hit was this cliche-based funk love song.  It’s very good for its genre, but that’s about it.

8 - “Boys (Summertime Love),” Sabrina

Italian model-turned-singer Sabrina Salerno had her biggest internal hit with this unremarkable dance popper.  Its success is almost entirely attributable to the video, which features her in a white bikini top that she has trouble keeping on in the pool, and even when it is on the water makes it essentially transparent.  I certainly don’t think it was her singing ability.

7 - “Breakfast in Bed,” UB40 featuring Chrissie Hynde 

The second collaboration between the British reggae stalwarts and the lead Pretender was this cover of a song originally performed by Dusty Springfield on her Dusty in Memphis LP.  It’s a cool little thing, but I certainly now need to find Dusty’s version.

6 - “I Don’t Want to Talk About It,” Everything but the Girl 

The Hull duo’s first Top Five was this cover of the Crazy Horse song Rod Stewart took to #1 in 1977.   Tracey Thorn’s tenderness fits it perfectly.  I think I like it better than Rod’s, and that’s no small thing.

5 - “Fast Car,” Tracy Chapman

The folk phenom’s gritty breakthrough hit.  #6 America, #4 here, and...#1 in Canada.  Yeah, we got that one right big time.

4 - “I Owe You Nothing,” Bros

Surrey twins Matt and Luke Goss were taking over Wham!’s mantle as Britain’s favourite cute boy singing duo, hitting the top with this after two #2s.  Meh dance-pop, but well sung.  They deserved their moment.

3 - “The Twist (Yo Twist),” The Fat Boys with Chubby Checker 

Both these guys’ awful covers of sixties hits got to #2 here.  Bad Britain!  Bad!

2 - “Push It/Tramp,” Salt-n-Pepa

But the Isles did do right by making this a #2, and together with a track that turns the tables by calling out promiscuous men.  I love the A, but the B is a nice discovery, and a preview of their frank, liberated approach to female sexuality they would become known for.

1 - “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You,” Glenn Medeiros
The Hawaiian teen’s sap-ass, crap-ass George Benson cover ballad got two-thirds of the Triple Crown, and it was America who stopped it. God Bless America.  This is as bad as people think “Feelings” is.

Another one down.  Next time, the tournament resumes.  See you then.