Spring 1987 in Canada. Vancouver wheelchair athlete Rick Hansen was wrapping up his two year Man in Motion World Tour, which inspired millions, and also that cheesy song from St.Elmo’s Fire. Was the music he was coming home to any better? Let’s see.
Bonus Track: 51- “Flying on Your Own,” Rita MacNeil (CanCon!)
Born in 1944 in Big Pond, Nova Scotia, MacNeil didn’t begin her music career until her late 20s, and even then her career was inhibited by people unwilling to look past her weight and her cleft lip. But eventually, her talent got her noticed, and she broke through with her fourth album and its title track, this anthemic ballad encouraging women to let go of heartbreak and make their own way in the world. Her voice really stands out as a unique and inspiring instrument. From here, she wasn’t much of a presence in the charts, but she became less of a pop star than a well-loved national institution until her death in 2013.
49 - “Should I See,” Frozen Ghost (CanCon!)
The first hit by this Toronto band (and the only one to chart in America, peaking at #69) was this anti-censorship pop-rocker. Timely then, as the Tipper Gore/Parental Advisory controversy was still fresh. And timely now, for different reasons.
46 - “Nothing Can Stand in Your Way,” Zappacosta (CanCon!)
Italian-born Torontonian Alfredo Zappacosta had a handful of CanCon-powered radio hits, among them this mediocre power ballad about being okay with a lover finding a better life without him. I just never thought anything he did was as awesome as his name.
44 - “Make a Move On Me,” Veronique (CanCon!)
The lone Anglo hit for Quebec star Veronique Beliveau was this standard issue dance rocker. Best I can say is that it’s no better or worse than any of Taylor Dayne’s stuff.
41 -“Ain’t No Cure for Love,” Jennifer Warnes (CanCon!)
Beyond being the nondescript female voice on hit duets with Joe Cocker and Bill Medley, Warnes was a good friend of enigmatic Montreal singer/poet Leonard Cohen, and in 1986 she recorded an album of Cohen songs called Famous Blue Raincoat, which included two new Cohen compositions (both of which he would release himself the next year on the I’m Your Man album). One of these was this relatively straightforward love song about addictive affection. Yes, I still prefer Cohen’s material delivered by the man himself, but I must say both artists serve each other well here.
40 - “I’m an Adult Now,” The Pursuit of Happiness (CanCon!)
This Toronto band, fronted by Edmonton transplant Moe Berg, burst on top the scene with this independently-released single. It’s a catchy hard-rocker on which Berg laments that all aspects of his life are worse than they were in his youth, from responsibility (“I can sleep in till noon anytime I want, but there’s not many days that I do.”) to sex (“Adult sex is either boring or dirty. Young people can get away with murder.”) to drugs (“I’d sure look like a fool dead in a ditch somewhere with a mind full of chemicals like some cheese-eating high school boy.”). The band continued for the next decade with this mix of crunchy guitar, sweet harmonies, and Berg’s wry observations of life, love and lust, and they would be hooked up with big labels and big producers, but somehow they never made it past the level of high-end national-level bar band. Which is a damn shame, but on the upside, it meant I got to see them on several occasions at very little cost. Really, look them up. They’re fantastic.
39 - “Dancin’ With My Mirror,” Corey Hart (CanCon!)
The Montrealer’s dozenth home hit was this rock tune about how the titular activity makes him feel less lonely. Whatever works, I guess. My only question would be, sunglasses on or off?
37 - “Moonlight Desires,” Gowan (CanCon!)
Born in Glasgow but raised in Cayuga, Ontario, Lawrence Gowan broke through in the mid-80s, and by this time he had picked up enough cachet that Yes vocalist Jon Anderson agreed to perform backing vocals on this song about nightly passions. It’s very good, but there is more interesting stuff in his body of work that I’ll hopefully get to. Especially “A Criminal Mind.” Oh, and also, Gowan has been Dennis DeYoung’s replacement in Styx since 1999. Good for him. And them.
36 - “Holiday Rap,”MC Miker G and DJ Sven
The Dutch tandem of Lucien Witteveen and Sven van Veen had an international smash by rhyming inconsequentially over Madonna’s first hit and adding a rendition of the chorus of Cliff Richard’s “Summer Holiday.” It’s dumbly charming, and Miker G’s beatboxing isn’t bad. But I don’t think it’s a stain on America that they ignored this while we and the U.K. put it in the Top Ten.
33 - “Just One Night,” Triumph (CanCon!)
One of the last hits for this Toronto trio was this unremarkable power ballad whose composers included Journey’s Neal Schoen and future Mr. Big singer Eric Martin. They sounded like a spent force, and soon, singer Rik Emmett would leave.
29 - “Kiss You (When It’s Dangerous),” Eight Seconds (CanCon!)
The biggest hit for these Ottawa synthpoppers was this midtempo number about how the singer will only kiss his lover when she doesn’t want him to or when the circumstances are otherwise less than ideal. Um, that’s creepy, not sexy. You’d hope now we’d know the difference.
28 - “Dirty Water,” Rock and Hyde (CanCon!)
After years of struggling to break America with the negatively-received name Payolas, singer Paul Hyde and guitarist Bob Rock decided to rename their group after their surnames. The result was their biggest domestic hit in four years, and their highest charter in the U.S., even if it was only #61. The song is peppy synth-rock about someone who doesn’t care about you as much as they claim to. It’s not quite the Certified CanCon Classic that 1982’s “Eyes of a Stranger” is, but it’s a good barometer of what they were capable of.
25 - “Easy to Tame,” Kim Mitchell (CanCon!)
The king of what I call “cottage rock” had his fourth hit with this ditty about how a relationships can change when one party starts asserting more independence. I think that’s it. I’ve grown to appreciate this guy more as years have gone by. He was still better in Max Webster, but he did very good work alone.
19 - “Wild Horses,” Gino Vannelli (CanCon!)
The Montreal man’s third and last Top Ten was this sultry declaration of the depth of his attraction. He’s more convincingly sexy than I thought he could be here. I’m starting to see him as an underrated talent.
Top Ten don’t take no mess.
10 - “Will You Still Love Me,” Chicago
Were they asking this because of the firing of Peter Cetera. If so, I had stopped loving both of them by this time, so their was no “still” about it. They were long gone.
9 - “At This Moment,” Billy Vera and the Beaters
The impassioned ballad that soundtracked a Family Ties romance six years after it first came out went to the top here and in the States, but only got to #32 in Britain. What did you think, it would win a Triple Crown?
8 - “Lean on Me,” Club Nouveau
The funk cover of Bill Withers’ devotional was also denied a Triple Crown by the Brits, but it did at least get to #3 there. Besides, if they leaned with all their might too, these guys might have collapsed.
7 - “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party),” The Beastie Boys
The double-bracketed classic by the bratty New Yorkers. And to this day, moms are jealous of their noise.
6 - “Montego Bay,” Amazulu
This British ska-pop group picked up a surprise hit here with a bouncy cover of Bobby Bloom’s 1970 ode to Jamaica. I heard this version first, and I still like it better.
5 - “The Final Countdown,” Europe
You just can never get tired of that synth fanfare, can you? I’m sure you just got an adrenaline rush thinking about it, right? Who’d have believed that the ideal song to herald the apocalypse would come from Swedish hair farmers?
4 - “Touch Me (I Want Your Body),” Samantha Fox
So of the Big Three, only we made the Page 3 model-turned-pop star’s debut single a Number One. Apparently, she touched us.
3 - “Livin’ on a Prayer,” Bon Jovi
Another Can-Am #1 held back by Britain, who pushed it to #4. Well, at least they can say they were more than two-thirds there. That’s farther than they thought.
2 - “Somewhere Out There,” Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
The duet from the Spielberg cartoon about immigrant mice was a cross-border #2. It did a lot for people other than me. And that’s okay.
And at #1 21years ago was...
1 - “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” Starship
I don’t have any more bile left to spew for this Triple Crown winner. All I can add is that the Mannequin herself was played by Canada’s own Kim Cattrall. This was in between her roles in Porky’s and Sex and the City. In both those cases, she could not be accused of being motionless at all. And you could really say that nothing stopped her.
I’m backed up a bit, so next time it’s a return to Britain. See you then.
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