Spring 1985. Egyptian Mohamed Al-Fayed buys the iconic London department store Herrod’s. This wouldn’t be the last time his family would be involved in a highly symbolic British institution. Meanwhile, on the chart...
40 - “Kiss Me,” Stephen “Tin Tin” Duffy
From Birmingham, Duffy was a co-founder of Duran Duran, but he left before they signed their record deal. His biggest success came with the third version of this song, a piece of evocative synthpop about love and longing. Depending on personal taste, it may or may not be better than wine.
39 - “I Want Your Lovin’,” Curtis Hairston
The biggest success for North Carolinian Hairston was this bit of loneliness breakbeat funk. Decent, but not outstanding.
38- “Do What You Do,” Jermaine Jackson
The #2 Jackson brother had his biggest hit here with this let’s-go-back-to-how-we-used-to-be ballad. Good, but in that family, good is disappointing.
37 - “Cry,” Godley and Creme
The third and most famous hit by the 10cc refugees-turned-video directors. The video was groundbreaking, but don’t let that detract from the greatness of the song itself.
36 - “No Rest,” New Model Army
These outspoken Bradford rockers have had a handful of singles crack the bottom half of the Top 40, the first being this tune that wonders if the wicked ever stop to comtemplate their actions. 80s indie with a message, but it doesn’t outright preach, so it works.
35 - “Super Gran,” Billy Connolly
Glaswegian Connolly has had a long and successful career as a stand-up comedian, but he has also dented the pop charts on a few occasions, including this theme song to a children’s sitcom about an elderly Scotswoman who develops extraordinary powers. The lyrics proclaim her superiority to, among others, Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, The A-Team’s B.A. Baracus, Sylvester Stallone, Wonder Woman, and Charlie’s Angels. Irresistibly dumb fun, and a cinch Uneasy Rider. Oh, and I will proclaim until my dying day that Connolly should have played Hagrid.
34 - “Rhythm of the Night,” DeBarge
A triple Top Five from Motown’s top 80s family. It just sounds....lacking to me.
33 - “Won’t You Hold My Hand Now,” King
The second of five hits for these Coventry New Wavers was this song that compares love to playing cards and talks about parking fines for some reason. A decent genre piece.
32 - “Hangin’ on a String (Contemplating),” Loose Ends
Not only was this funk groove the biggest home hit for these Londoners, it also made them the first British group to have a #1 R&B hit in the U.S. I find it more than worthy.
31 - “Would I Lie to You,” Eurythmics
Top Five in North America, but only #17 here. That may not seem right, but think about it, would I say something that wasn’t true.
30 - “Grimly Fiendish,” The Damned
The third hit for the punks-turned-goths was this song inspired by a cartoon villain. Suitably faux-menacing. I wish a Canadian band would write a song about Snidely Whiplash. For all I know, one has.
29 - “Wide Boy,” Nik Kershaw
The sixth hit for this Bristol rocker is poppy fluff about a guy who finds fame despite his lack of talent. Don’t worry Nik, I don’t feel that way about you.
28 - “That Was Yesterday,” Foreigner
This was the last of a mere five hits for these half-Brits. And it wasn’t among their best work.
27 - “Stainsby Girls,” Chris Rea
Rea’s long-coming second Top 40 was this reminiscence of falling in love with the type of girl you don’t bring home to Mum, so to speak. Judging by this, he had more to offer than just “Fool if You Think it’s Over.”
26 - “Pie Jesu,” Sarah Brightman and Paul Miles-Kingston
Brightman’s first hit in her faux-classical diva persona was this duet with 13-year-old male soprano Miles-Kingston on a section of the Catholic Requiem Mass. I guess they did okay, but why anyone would want to hear this outside of a funeral is beyond me.
25 - “Everytime You Go Away,” Paul Young
Only Paul’s countrymen kept this from a Triple Crown. Were they resentful that he took pieces of the, when he had success across the pond.
24 - “That Ole Devil Called Love,” Alison Moyet
The fourth and biggest hit for the ex-Yazoo front woman was this straight jazz-blues cover of a 1944 song first recorded by Billie Holiday. Moyet isn’t Billie by any stretch, but her voice is a different kind of smoke, and it’s mighty flavourful.
23 - “I Was Born to Love You,” Freddie Mercury
Freddie’s second solo hit sees him taking a shot at unleashing his inner disco diva. And of course, he’s a natural. Nobody puts Freddie in a corner. He’ll strut his way out, and woe to he who stands in his way. God bless him.
22 - “So Far Away,” Dire Straits
The least successful Brothers in Arms single. I think it’s better than “Walk of Life,”though.
21 - “Can’t Fight This Feeling,” REO Speedwagon
Yeah, we made this shit power ballad a double #1 on this side of the pond. Here, it was just Top Twenty. Cheers for fighting that feeling, mates.
In Part Two: Look-don’t look! Run the world-be the world! And feel the love, but not too much.
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