An Old Man Abroad: UKT40 March 14, 1981

The rest of 1981

20 - "I Missed Again," Phil Collins 

Phil's second solo hit here was this horn-heavy song about divorce.  In the middle of his hit pack.

19 - "Rock This Town," The Stray Cats

The secone of two top tens here for the New York rockabillians.  It rocked many a town, as it said it would.  Underappreciated.

18 - "Return of the Los Palmas 7," Madness

Their second instrumental Top Ten saw them being more Latin than ska, and it worked.  No idea who or what the Los Palmas 7 is, though.

17 - "Star," Kiki Dee 

Her last hit was this Mehr pop-rocker about achieving one's dreams of stardom.  Like anew attempted highlight of a mediocre musical.

16 - "You Better You Bet," The Who

Their last Top Ten was this one about how horny Roger Daltrey is and how his lady wants to be sure he's not cheating.  I think that's it. I better be right.

15 - "(Somebody) Help Me Out," Beggar and Co
More British jazz-funk.  This band's biggest hit is an okay call for assistance.  It aims for smooth, but hits bland.

14 - "Once in a Lifetime," Talking Heads

Their first U.K. hit was this all-time classic on which David Byrne is suddenly surrounded by luxury and wonders what it all means over bubbling synthetic and one of the monster bass lines of all time.  If you don't like it, you may ask yourself, "My God, what have I done?"

13 - "Reward," The Teardrop Explodes

The first and biggest hit for this Liverpool band was this horn-heavy fast rocker about how we all get what we deserve in the end, or something like that.  A great listen nonetheless.

12 - "I Surrender," Rainbow 

The biggest hit for the band guitarist Ritchie Blackmore formed after leaving Deep Purple was this poppy take-me-back rocker.  To me, it's just lower level Foreigner.

11 - "It's a Mystery (Four from Toyah)," Toyah

The band named after lead singer Wilcox had their first hit with an EP led by this jagged, floaty number about the unknowns in life.  Really cool new wave pop.

Hit me ten times!

10 - "St. Valentines Day Massacre EP," Motorhead/Girlschool 

A team up between Lemmy's boys and London's premier all-female metal band, referring to themselves as Headgirl.  The lead track sees the groups teaming up on a tasty cover of a lusty 1959 song by Johnny Kidd and the Pirates.  The other two tracks see the bands taking a crack at one of the others' songs, with Motorhead doing "Emergency," and Girlschool taking on "Bomber."  It's all wonderful.

9 - "Something About You Baby I Like," Status Quo

Their thirteenth Top Ten was this version of a song first recorded by Tom Jones.  It's cheesy pop about admiring a lady from afar, and at this time, cheese was their status quo.

8 - "Southern Freeez," Freeez

The first hit for these London funksters was this light sweet groove about a dance I have never heard of.  If you like Sade and Swing Out Sister, this is in your wheelhouse.

7 - "This Ole House," Shakin' Stevens 

Shaky got his first #1 with of a song that was a chart topper for Rosemary Cooney in 1954.  It compares growing old to a deteriorating domicile, and was inspired by a hunting trip during which Stuart Hamblin and his buddy John Wayne stumbled upon a shack containing a dead body.  Really.  It's always nice when a jaunty pop song has a Stephen King-esque backstory.

6 - "Kids in America," Kim Wilde 

Li'l Kim's debut single, an immortal hunk of New Wave bubblegum.  I still want to know what crazy shit they were up to in "East California," though.

5 - "Do the Hucklebuck," Coast to Coast 

From Wellingborough in Northamptonshire, these guys had the first and biggest hit with a cover of a jazz dance tune that dates back to 1949.  This is more filtered through new wave, and thus comes out neutered, like the ouevre of Modern Romance.  Best to find versions with the grit to get across the raunchy spirit of the piece, like Roy Milton's or even Chubby Checker's.

4 - "Vienna," Ultravox 

The Vox's biggest hit was this daily atmospheric piano-and-drum-machine track about the fading memory of a romance in the Austrian capital.  It means...something to me.  I'm not sure what, though.

3 - "Shaddap Your Face," Joe Dolce

Born in Ohio in 1947, Dolce had some success as a songwriter, but then after moving to Australia in the late 70s, he became a cabaret performer and put together this worldwide smash on which he put on a cartoonish Italian accent and sang about the stereotypical phrases his mama used-a to say-a.  I have to say, I gotta no respect for this, but it's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a song.  And it gets an Uneasy-a Rider-a.

2 - "Kings of the Wild Frontier," Adam and the Ants

The third Anthit was this showcase for their use of the Burundi beat, with lyrics about the nobility of being wild and untamed.  There are some now-troubling lyrics to the effect of Adam being of Native American hue "beneath the white," but if you shut out those when they come on, it's more cool exuberance.

1 - "Jealous Guy," Roxy Music

Roxy's only #1 was a cover of a track from Lennon's Imagine LP that the band recorded as a tribute after his death.  Bryan Ferry does a nice job of replicating the required vulnerability.  It's not radically different, but in this context, that made perfect sense,

Done again.  Something new soon.  See you then.