Welcome to 2007. This was both the International Heliophysical year and Scotland's Year of Highland Culture. I'll never forget all that research about the sun, nor the rededication of Culloden Battlefield. Was the music of the time as exciting as that? You be the judge.
40 - "Promise," Ciara
39 - "We Fly High," Jim Jones
38 - "Buttons," The Pussycat Dolls
37 - "I Write Sins Not Tragedies," Panic! at the Disco
36 - "She's Like the Wind," Lumidee featuring Tony Sunshine
35 - "Chasing Cars," Snow Patrol
34 - "Honestly," Cartel
33 - "Face Down," The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
32 - "SexyBack," Justin Timberlake
31 - "Hurt," Christina Aguilera
We begin with three women. The first single from Ciara's second album was this ballad about how much she will appreciate the right man should he come along. "You can be my teacher, I'll do homework." she says. You know it's love when you spontaneously assign her 1000 words on the Battle of Hastings and she immediately starts writing. That's what she means, right? Puerto Rican-American Lumidee Cedeno had her second pop hit by rapping while her friend Tony Sunshine sings Patrick Swayze's 1988 Dirty Dancing hit. I like this better than the original, no disrespect to the late Mr. Swayze intended. Still, "she's like the wind through my tree" is an awful lyric. And Christina Aguilera is here with a powerful ballad about the complicated emotions that come with the loss of a loved one. It's very stark and direct, and while she's a little showy vocally, it remains effective.
Then we have the men. Rapper Jim Jones had his biggest hit with this unremarkable girls/clothes/cars/champagne track, notable only for the "Ballin'!" fake jump shot dance move it briefly inspired. And Justin Timberlake scored his first post-'N Sync #1 with this Timbaland-aided electrodance track that contains some hints of S&M ("I'll let you whip me if I misbehave." His voice is virtually unrecognizable, apparently because when he sang it, he was trying to channel "David Bowie and David Byrne covering James Brown's 'Sex Machine.'" Interesting. When this was big, I was kind of lukewarm on it, but it's grown on me since.
The rest of this section contains groups. The Pussycat Dolls return, and they want you to take their clothes off. Or something. I don't care. Las Vegas emo boys Panic! at the Disco (that midname exclamation point has since been removed, thankfully) had their biggest with a song that features verses accompanied only by minimal strings, and choruses that are just basic hard rock. And the lyrics are about a wedding that perhaps shouldn't be happening. I think that's it. Anyway, the whole exercise comes off as pretentious, even by emo standards, which is why it gets this week's Uneasy Rider. Scotland's Snow Patrol made their U.S. breakthrough with this mopey midtempo ballad that blew up after it was used in an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I've never watched the show, but from what I understand, it's full of cheesy melodrama and navel-gazingly false intensity. Which made this song a perfect fit, I suppose. Not a fan. Georgian pop-punkers Cartel's biggest hit is nothing, really. Simple Plan by numbers. Later in this year, they'd write and record an album inside a giant bubble. Really. Look it up. And The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus have a terrible name. But they don't like seeing women being abused by their boyfriends, which is good. But the song in which they say this isn't.
30 - "Tell Me," Diddy featuring Christina Aguilera
29 - "Call Me When You're Sober," Evanescence
28 - "Through Glass," Stone Sour
27 - "Money Maker," Ludacris featuring Pharrell
26 - "Cupid's Chokehold," Gym Class Heroes featuring Patrick Stump
25 - "If Everyone Cared," Nickelback
24 - "Too Little Too Late," JoJo
23 - "Keep Holding On," Avril Lavigne
22 - "Glamorous," Fergie
21 - "Here in Your Arms," Hellogoodbye
We open this section with ______ featuring _______ rap songs. Sean Combs boasts and Christina Aguilera sings the hook on "Tell Me." Not among either's best work. And Ludacris hit #1 with this Pharrell-aided request for women to "shake what your mama gave ya." His rhymes aren't always great, but he always seems to be enjoying himself, and that shines through.
Again, we've got five groups. Evanescence had their third and most recent Top Ten with this breakup song. Singer Amy Lee had experienced two major breakups in the recent past: she had parted ways with boyfriend Shaun Morgan of Seether, and Evanescence's guitarist and Lee's songwriting partner Ben Moody had left the band. The song's all right, even if it does hew very closely to the "Bring Me to Life" formula. Stone Sour, a group that contains two members of masked Iowa metallers Slipknot, had their biggest pop hit with this restrained rocker about how plastic pop music can be. At least that's what songwriter Corey Taylor says. It's decent, but a tad bland. Western New York rap rockers Gym Class Heroes had their first hit with this ode to a fantastic lady who seems like a pretty damn great girlfriend, although you wouldn't know it from the snippet of Supertramp's "Breakfast in America" sung by Fall Out Boy's Stump that serves as the song's chorus. I like this more than I would have ever thought I would. Nickelback are here with a ballad about both romance and an ideal world. It's a little heavy-handed, but they've done worse. And the proceeds from downloads of this track went to charity, so there's nothing to really rip them about. And California pop group Hellogoodbye had their only major hit with this slight uptempo love song that seems like it was commissioned for a cell phone commercial. I don't know if it was ever used in one, but that's what it make me think of.
We end the first half with ladies. JoJo had her biggest hit to date with this midtempo breakup ballad. Just a meh radio song. Avril Lavigne is here with an inspirational power ballad from a movie about a dragon. For some reason, I've been hearing this song a lot in shopping malls lately. Wonder what that's about? And Black Eyed Pea Fergie had her third solo hit about having fame and fortune but still enjoying Taco Bell. This includes the refrain "If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home." How progressive. And don't ask me what the hell "the flossy flossy" is?
In Part Two: quite a few of the artists from this half reappear. Plus one of the more successful Idol also-rans, and a lady tells you where you can put your stuff.
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