20 - "Far Away," Nickelback
19 - "Shortie Like Mine," Bow Wow featuring Chris Brown and Johnta Austin
18 - "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race," Fall Out Boy
17 - "Lips of an Angel," Hinder
16 - "Waiting on the World to Change," John Mayer
The second half begins with more Nickelback. It's a big ballad about undying love. This is them at their most blandly commercial.
Bow Wow, five years removed from starring in Like Mike, is here with one of his biggest hits. Basic rap about how fine his lady is. Nothing special, and a certain presence makes it even less so.
Next is Fall Out Boy with their highest charting pop hit, a catchy little rocker on which songwriter Pete Wentz compares their music to weaponry. Not sure why. Still, it might be their best song.
Then it's the biggest hit for Oklahoma post-grungers Hinder. It's a droney power ballad about talking to another woman while your girlfriend's in the next room. For some reason, singer Austin Winkler delivers this lyric while sounding quite constipated. Or maybe that's his regular singing voice. I'm not interested enough to confirm or deny this.
This section closes out with John Mayer decrying war and injustice and corruption and stuff over loungey lite-funk. If this is the kind of music you think can change the world, Johnny, I'm afraid you're going to be waiting quite a while.
15 - "Smack That," Akon featuring Eminem
14 - "Runaway Love," Ludacris featuring Mary J. Blige
13 - "The Sweet Escape," Gwen Stefani featuring Akon
12 - "Welcome to the Black Parade," My Chemical Romance
11 - "My Love," Justin Timberlake featuring T.I.
This bunch is led off by Senegalese-American singer Akon, singing about girls dancing. Eminem chips in with an okay rap. He's done well as an artist, but his most significant accomplishment, one might argue, was helping introduce the world to one Lady Gaga.
Ludacris makes his second appearance this week with a serious track that tells the tales of three young girls between the ages of 9-11 and the tragic situations that cause them to leave home. He does the subject matter justice, and the soulful conrtibutions of Mary J. add to the impact. A solid detour for Mr. Bridges.
Next is Gwen Stefani. Once again, I liked the single that preceded the one I'm covering much better (in this case, the delightfully daft, "Lonely Goatherd" riffing "Wind it Up."). But this has a cool little 60s girl group in outer space vibe that's undeniably charming. And Akon co-wrote this in addition to contributing some backing vocals. That's more money for that guy.
Then it's New Jersey emo stars My Chemical Romance with their biggest hit, a song about a father who puts a lot of pressure on his son after taking him to watch a marching band. "Would you be the saviour of the beaten, the broken and the damned?" he asks the child. Couldn't he just let the kid enjoy the bloody parade and then lay that heavy stuff on him later? Anyway, it's a big, bold, dramatic rock song, the kind of thing one thought might not be heard on pop radio again after the heyday of Queen. But it did, and so I've decided that MCR will share this week's Uneasy Rider with Panic! at the Disco. And if they can't share, let the guyliner fly.
And the last stop before the Top Ten is manned by Justin Timberlake on this synth-heavy tribute to romantic stuff like walking on the beach and writing love notes. T.I's rap is okay, but really, it's all about JT and his falsetto. Like him or not, he's as star.
The Top Ten makes it all better.
10 - "How to Save a Life," The Fray
These Denver soft rockers had their biggest hit with this sleepy song about trying to help someone who may be beyond salvation. I think their hearts are in the right place, but this song just doesn't do much for me. Sorry.
9 - "Fergalicious," Fergie
Oh, it's never good when you think you're so awesome that you have to make up new adjectives to describe yourself. There's a charm to it's old-school hip-hop backing track, but both "Fergie Ferg"'s rhymes and flow are pretty terrible. Tastes quite Fergasour to me.
8 - "It Ends Tonight," The All-American Rejects
I still don't know how these guys have done as well as they have. This whiny ballad doesn't clear up that mystery at all. Simple Plan do this sort of thing much better, and that's not saying much.
7 - "Break it Off," Rihanna featuring Sean Paul
The Barbadian picked up her fifth Top Ten with this collaboration with fellow Caribbean native Sean Paul. It's sexy and dancehally. Doesn't do it for me. But it does go to show that she was already poised for superstardom. A few months later, a litlle song about raingear would push her over the edge.
6 - "It's Not Over," Daughtry
As the fifth season of American Idol went on, it seemed more and more apparent that the series' "rocker" Chris Daughtry was the likely winner. However, on the episode where the final four were cut down to three, Daughtry stunningly received the fewest votes and was eliminated. Despite this setback, he quickly found himself invited to try out to be the new lead singer of the band Fuel. He was flattered, but instead formed his own eponymous band. Their debut CD went multiplatinum, thanks in large part to the success of the lead single, a rock ballad about wanting a second chance. This is similar to quite a few other songs, but Daughty's vocals seem to push it ahead of that mediocre pack. He has gone on to be one of Idol's bigger success stories. As for the three who finished ahead of him, Elliot Yamin has had a hit or two, Katharine McPhee is on that Smash show, and Taylor "Soul Patrol" Hicks is apparently a Las Vegas headliner.
5 - "I Wanna Love You," Akon featuring Snoop Dogg
Akon again, this time assisted by Snoop on a track about trying to attract a stripper. Yes, romance was alive and well in 2007. Make it rain.
4 - "Walk Away (Remember Me)," Paula DeAnda
Texas teen DeAnda had her only major hit to date with this pop trifle on which she her asks ex if his new girlfriend knows about his penchant for playing video games deep into the night. But maybe he doesn't do that anymore. And maybe there's a reason. But the song doesn't explore that further. That's probably for the best.
3 - "What Goes Around...Comes Around," Justin Timberlake
Timberlake makes his third appearance this week with this song that's both musically and thematically similar to "Cry Me a River." That's a better song, but this is no slouch.
2 - "Say it Right," Nelly Furtado
After the more personal and reflective Folklore flopped, Furtado hooked up with Timbaland and transformed herself into a dance diva. The resulting CD, Loose, returned her to multiplatinum status. I wasn't a fan of this change, but I must admit that I like the third single, this spare, sultry cry of romantic denial. Her most recent album was another left turn, and like Folklore, it stiffed. What will she do now?
And on top six years ago was...
1 - "Irreplaceable," Beyoncé
The unstoppable B topped the pops for the fourth time with this strutting kiss-off about kicking out a cheating loser while knowing that she can do much better. "I can find another you in a minute, matter fact, he'll be here in a minute," she sang, and no one doubted her. By this time, we all knew 'bout her. And the line of her admirers was long as it formed "to the left, to the left."
Next time: it's so 2008, so don't be two thousand and late.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
February 17, 2007 Part One
Welcome to 2007. This was both the International Heliophysical year and Scotland's Year of Highland Culture. I'll never forget all that research about the sun, nor the rededication of Culloden Battlefield. Was the music of the time as exciting as that? You be the judge.
40 - "Promise," Ciara
39 - "We Fly High," Jim Jones
38 - "Buttons," The Pussycat Dolls
37 - "I Write Sins Not Tragedies," Panic! at the Disco
36 - "She's Like the Wind," Lumidee featuring Tony Sunshine
35 - "Chasing Cars," Snow Patrol
34 - "Honestly," Cartel
33 - "Face Down," The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
32 - "SexyBack," Justin Timberlake
31 - "Hurt," Christina Aguilera
We begin with three women. The first single from Ciara's second album was this ballad about how much she will appreciate the right man should he come along. "You can be my teacher, I'll do homework." she says. You know it's love when you spontaneously assign her 1000 words on the Battle of Hastings and she immediately starts writing. That's what she means, right? Puerto Rican-American Lumidee Cedeno had her second pop hit by rapping while her friend Tony Sunshine sings Patrick Swayze's 1988 Dirty Dancing hit. I like this better than the original, no disrespect to the late Mr. Swayze intended. Still, "she's like the wind through my tree" is an awful lyric. And Christina Aguilera is here with a powerful ballad about the complicated emotions that come with the loss of a loved one. It's very stark and direct, and while she's a little showy vocally, it remains effective.
Then we have the men. Rapper Jim Jones had his biggest hit with this unremarkable girls/clothes/cars/champagne track, notable only for the "Ballin'!" fake jump shot dance move it briefly inspired. And Justin Timberlake scored his first post-'N Sync #1 with this Timbaland-aided electrodance track that contains some hints of S&M ("I'll let you whip me if I misbehave." His voice is virtually unrecognizable, apparently because when he sang it, he was trying to channel "David Bowie and David Byrne covering James Brown's 'Sex Machine.'" Interesting. When this was big, I was kind of lukewarm on it, but it's grown on me since.
The rest of this section contains groups. The Pussycat Dolls return, and they want you to take their clothes off. Or something. I don't care. Las Vegas emo boys Panic! at the Disco (that midname exclamation point has since been removed, thankfully) had their biggest with a song that features verses accompanied only by minimal strings, and choruses that are just basic hard rock. And the lyrics are about a wedding that perhaps shouldn't be happening. I think that's it. Anyway, the whole exercise comes off as pretentious, even by emo standards, which is why it gets this week's Uneasy Rider. Scotland's Snow Patrol made their U.S. breakthrough with this mopey midtempo ballad that blew up after it was used in an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I've never watched the show, but from what I understand, it's full of cheesy melodrama and navel-gazingly false intensity. Which made this song a perfect fit, I suppose. Not a fan. Georgian pop-punkers Cartel's biggest hit is nothing, really. Simple Plan by numbers. Later in this year, they'd write and record an album inside a giant bubble. Really. Look it up. And The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus have a terrible name. But they don't like seeing women being abused by their boyfriends, which is good. But the song in which they say this isn't.
30 - "Tell Me," Diddy featuring Christina Aguilera
29 - "Call Me When You're Sober," Evanescence
28 - "Through Glass," Stone Sour
27 - "Money Maker," Ludacris featuring Pharrell
26 - "Cupid's Chokehold," Gym Class Heroes featuring Patrick Stump
25 - "If Everyone Cared," Nickelback
24 - "Too Little Too Late," JoJo
23 - "Keep Holding On," Avril Lavigne
22 - "Glamorous," Fergie
21 - "Here in Your Arms," Hellogoodbye
We open this section with ______ featuring _______ rap songs. Sean Combs boasts and Christina Aguilera sings the hook on "Tell Me." Not among either's best work. And Ludacris hit #1 with this Pharrell-aided request for women to "shake what your mama gave ya." His rhymes aren't always great, but he always seems to be enjoying himself, and that shines through.
Again, we've got five groups. Evanescence had their third and most recent Top Ten with this breakup song. Singer Amy Lee had experienced two major breakups in the recent past: she had parted ways with boyfriend Shaun Morgan of Seether, and Evanescence's guitarist and Lee's songwriting partner Ben Moody had left the band. The song's all right, even if it does hew very closely to the "Bring Me to Life" formula. Stone Sour, a group that contains two members of masked Iowa metallers Slipknot, had their biggest pop hit with this restrained rocker about how plastic pop music can be. At least that's what songwriter Corey Taylor says. It's decent, but a tad bland. Western New York rap rockers Gym Class Heroes had their first hit with this ode to a fantastic lady who seems like a pretty damn great girlfriend, although you wouldn't know it from the snippet of Supertramp's "Breakfast in America" sung by Fall Out Boy's Stump that serves as the song's chorus. I like this more than I would have ever thought I would. Nickelback are here with a ballad about both romance and an ideal world. It's a little heavy-handed, but they've done worse. And the proceeds from downloads of this track went to charity, so there's nothing to really rip them about. And California pop group Hellogoodbye had their only major hit with this slight uptempo love song that seems like it was commissioned for a cell phone commercial. I don't know if it was ever used in one, but that's what it make me think of.
We end the first half with ladies. JoJo had her biggest hit to date with this midtempo breakup ballad. Just a meh radio song. Avril Lavigne is here with an inspirational power ballad from a movie about a dragon. For some reason, I've been hearing this song a lot in shopping malls lately. Wonder what that's about? And Black Eyed Pea Fergie had her third solo hit about having fame and fortune but still enjoying Taco Bell. This includes the refrain "If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home." How progressive. And don't ask me what the hell "the flossy flossy" is?
In Part Two: quite a few of the artists from this half reappear. Plus one of the more successful Idol also-rans, and a lady tells you where you can put your stuff.
40 - "Promise," Ciara
39 - "We Fly High," Jim Jones
38 - "Buttons," The Pussycat Dolls
37 - "I Write Sins Not Tragedies," Panic! at the Disco
36 - "She's Like the Wind," Lumidee featuring Tony Sunshine
35 - "Chasing Cars," Snow Patrol
34 - "Honestly," Cartel
33 - "Face Down," The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
32 - "SexyBack," Justin Timberlake
31 - "Hurt," Christina Aguilera
We begin with three women. The first single from Ciara's second album was this ballad about how much she will appreciate the right man should he come along. "You can be my teacher, I'll do homework." she says. You know it's love when you spontaneously assign her 1000 words on the Battle of Hastings and she immediately starts writing. That's what she means, right? Puerto Rican-American Lumidee Cedeno had her second pop hit by rapping while her friend Tony Sunshine sings Patrick Swayze's 1988 Dirty Dancing hit. I like this better than the original, no disrespect to the late Mr. Swayze intended. Still, "she's like the wind through my tree" is an awful lyric. And Christina Aguilera is here with a powerful ballad about the complicated emotions that come with the loss of a loved one. It's very stark and direct, and while she's a little showy vocally, it remains effective.
Then we have the men. Rapper Jim Jones had his biggest hit with this unremarkable girls/clothes/cars/champagne track, notable only for the "Ballin'!" fake jump shot dance move it briefly inspired. And Justin Timberlake scored his first post-'N Sync #1 with this Timbaland-aided electrodance track that contains some hints of S&M ("I'll let you whip me if I misbehave." His voice is virtually unrecognizable, apparently because when he sang it, he was trying to channel "David Bowie and David Byrne covering James Brown's 'Sex Machine.'" Interesting. When this was big, I was kind of lukewarm on it, but it's grown on me since.
The rest of this section contains groups. The Pussycat Dolls return, and they want you to take their clothes off. Or something. I don't care. Las Vegas emo boys Panic! at the Disco (that midname exclamation point has since been removed, thankfully) had their biggest with a song that features verses accompanied only by minimal strings, and choruses that are just basic hard rock. And the lyrics are about a wedding that perhaps shouldn't be happening. I think that's it. Anyway, the whole exercise comes off as pretentious, even by emo standards, which is why it gets this week's Uneasy Rider. Scotland's Snow Patrol made their U.S. breakthrough with this mopey midtempo ballad that blew up after it was used in an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I've never watched the show, but from what I understand, it's full of cheesy melodrama and navel-gazingly false intensity. Which made this song a perfect fit, I suppose. Not a fan. Georgian pop-punkers Cartel's biggest hit is nothing, really. Simple Plan by numbers. Later in this year, they'd write and record an album inside a giant bubble. Really. Look it up. And The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus have a terrible name. But they don't like seeing women being abused by their boyfriends, which is good. But the song in which they say this isn't.
30 - "Tell Me," Diddy featuring Christina Aguilera
29 - "Call Me When You're Sober," Evanescence
28 - "Through Glass," Stone Sour
27 - "Money Maker," Ludacris featuring Pharrell
26 - "Cupid's Chokehold," Gym Class Heroes featuring Patrick Stump
25 - "If Everyone Cared," Nickelback
24 - "Too Little Too Late," JoJo
23 - "Keep Holding On," Avril Lavigne
22 - "Glamorous," Fergie
21 - "Here in Your Arms," Hellogoodbye
We open this section with ______ featuring _______ rap songs. Sean Combs boasts and Christina Aguilera sings the hook on "Tell Me." Not among either's best work. And Ludacris hit #1 with this Pharrell-aided request for women to "shake what your mama gave ya." His rhymes aren't always great, but he always seems to be enjoying himself, and that shines through.
Again, we've got five groups. Evanescence had their third and most recent Top Ten with this breakup song. Singer Amy Lee had experienced two major breakups in the recent past: she had parted ways with boyfriend Shaun Morgan of Seether, and Evanescence's guitarist and Lee's songwriting partner Ben Moody had left the band. The song's all right, even if it does hew very closely to the "Bring Me to Life" formula. Stone Sour, a group that contains two members of masked Iowa metallers Slipknot, had their biggest pop hit with this restrained rocker about how plastic pop music can be. At least that's what songwriter Corey Taylor says. It's decent, but a tad bland. Western New York rap rockers Gym Class Heroes had their first hit with this ode to a fantastic lady who seems like a pretty damn great girlfriend, although you wouldn't know it from the snippet of Supertramp's "Breakfast in America" sung by Fall Out Boy's Stump that serves as the song's chorus. I like this more than I would have ever thought I would. Nickelback are here with a ballad about both romance and an ideal world. It's a little heavy-handed, but they've done worse. And the proceeds from downloads of this track went to charity, so there's nothing to really rip them about. And California pop group Hellogoodbye had their only major hit with this slight uptempo love song that seems like it was commissioned for a cell phone commercial. I don't know if it was ever used in one, but that's what it make me think of.
We end the first half with ladies. JoJo had her biggest hit to date with this midtempo breakup ballad. Just a meh radio song. Avril Lavigne is here with an inspirational power ballad from a movie about a dragon. For some reason, I've been hearing this song a lot in shopping malls lately. Wonder what that's about? And Black Eyed Pea Fergie had her third solo hit about having fame and fortune but still enjoying Taco Bell. This includes the refrain "If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home." How progressive. And don't ask me what the hell "the flossy flossy" is?
In Part Two: quite a few of the artists from this half reappear. Plus one of the more successful Idol also-rans, and a lady tells you where you can put your stuff.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
February 11, 2006 Part Two
And then, the other 20 from this week in '06.
20 - "When I'm Gone," Eminem
19 - "Walk Away," Kelly Clarkson
18 - "Pump It," The Black Eyed Peas
17 - "One Wish," Ray J
16 - "Unwritten," Natasha Bedingfield
.
The second half begins with another Eminem psychodrama about leaving his kids and their mother to go out on tour, and how his dreams torment him with images of his daughter taunting him that he loves his fans more than her. Like him or not, it's hard to debate that any pop artist has laid his demons more bare in his music than Marshall Mathers.
Kelly Clarkson makes her second appearance this week with a strutting rocker about a relationship that isn't working out. Another brilliant vocal, and a shoutout to Canadians Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk for co-writing it.
Next are the Black Eyed Peas, who continued their rise to pop domination with this standard party rap fuelled by a sample of Dick Dale's "Misirlou." The fact that the song survives this attempted ruination, and that it probably made Dale quite a bit of money, makes it my favorite BEP song. Not that it has much competition.
Then it's William Ray Norwood Jr., who despite having had a handful of hits is probably best known either as Brandy's brother or Kim Kardashian's sex-tape costar. One of those hits is this run-of-the-mill R&B ballad about hoping to reunite with a childhood sweetheart. He sings it all right, but I can't say I'm terribly impressed.
Rounding out this quintet is Natasha Bedingfield's biggest American hit, a song about controlling one's destiny that later became the theme song to that terrible MTV thing The Hills. That aside, it's pleasant enough empowerment pop. Still, nothing she's done beats brother Daniel's "Gotta Get Thru This" in my books.
15 - "There it Go (The Whistle Song)," Juelz Santana
14 - "My Humps," The Black Eyed Peas
13 - "Grillz," Nelly featuring Paul Wall, Ali and Gipp
12 - "Gold Digger," Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx
11 - "Sugar, We're Going Down," Fall Out Boy
This group is led off by the biggest solo hit for New York rapper Juelz Santana. He likes to whistle at attractive women, apparently. Thank you for sharing, Mr. Santana, but I don't think much of the song.
The Black Eyed Peas make their second dent on this weeks chart with this lascivious ode to Stacy Ferguson's "lovely lady lumps." And how Will.i.am wants to mix her milk with his "Cocoa Puff." Just creepy all around.
Next is the most recent charttopper to date from Nelly, which he achieved with the assistance of Houstonian Paul Wall, Atlantan Big Gipp, and fellow St. Lunatic Ali. This one's about decorative jewelry worn over one's teeth. Not sure if that's comfortable, but some people like it. Not sure I'd want to wear a top row of diamonds and a bottom row of gold if I were to try this, though. But it's an okay song, and the line "I gotta bill in my mouth like Hillary Rodham" is kind of clever, in a juvenile way.
Then it's Kanye West's first #1, a song about the perils of women who pursue men for their money which features Jamie Foxx singing backup in his Ray Charles voice. But it doesn't completely let guys off the hook, warning women who stick with a man while he's on his way up that when he gets there, he might "leave you for a white girl." This song doesn't need fixing, because it ain't broke, broke.
Anchoring this bunch are Fall Out Boy. I know I haven't made many Simpsons references lately, but this week one comes gift-wrapped in the form of the superstar emo band who named themselves after the ward of Bart Simpson's comic-book hero Radioactive Man. Their first hit was this number that seems to be about jealousy over an ex's new relationship. Emo lyrics can be hard to crack, though. Anyway, this is pretty catchy. I like it.
Do not stare directly into the Top Ten.
10 - "If it's Lovin' That You Want," Rihanna
Back again with her second hit. I like it better then "Pon De Replay," but she'd go on to do much better.
9 - "Dance, Dance," Fall Out Boy
These guys again, obliquely talking about girl troubles. Though I think the meaning of "show me the little bit of spine you've been saving for his mattress" comes through loud and clear. Still, their other song here is better.
8 - "So Sick," Ne-Yo
Just watched this guy, born Shaffer Smith in Camden, Arkansas, perform at the NBA All-Star Game. Didn't think much of the songs he did there, but this, his first hit, is a pretty damn good weeper about how the radio won't stop reminding you of your broken relationship. Very, very solid.
7 - "Photograph," Nickelback
The Albertans break out the acoustic guitars for this song where Chad Kroeger gets wistful about his youth and his hometown: sneaking out of the house to break into the school, blowing money at the arcade, kissing a girl for the first time, etc. The lyrical and musical style remind me of much of what's passed for country music in the last 20 years or so, so I suppose they were widening their demographic. Like it or not, that's why they're huge.
6 - "Don't Forget About Us," Mariah Carey
The second #1 from her return to multiplatinum form The Emancipation of Mimi was this ballad about wanting to remember the good times with someone you're no longer with. It's pretty predictable by her standards, and that's probably why it worked.
5 - "Dirty Little Secret," The All-American Rejects
Somehow, these nondescript Oklahomans became platinum stars in the middle of this decade with songs like this pop-rock trifle about being with a girl but not wanting anyone to know about it. Or something. I don't care enough to be sure.
4 - "Because of You," Kelly Clarkson
This aching ballad about emotional damage, inspired by the divorce of her parents, is arguably Clarkson's tour de force. I don't think that even if American Idol runs a thousand more years that they'll be able to find an artist nearly as powerful and talented as the original.
3 - "Run It," Chris Brown
Okay, now I gotta deal with this asshole. Sigh. Well, on his first hit, he sounds like the horny 16-year-old he probably was. But I don't have anything more to say about his music. We know what he did four years ago, and we know that he's been acting like a persecuted victim and an all-around jerk pretty much ever since. And no, the fact that Rihanna's back with you doesn't excuse a damn thing. Now let's move on.
2 - "Check On It," Beyoncé featuring Slim Thug
For some reason, this was released on a Destiny's Child best-of even though only one of the Children is on it. Basically, it's Beyonce telling men to look how hot she is when she's dancing. Well, okay, Ms. Knowles, if you insist.
And at #1 seven years ago was...
1 - "Stickwitu," The Pussycat Dolls
Originally, The Pussycat Dolls were an L.A.-based burlesque troupe founded in the mid-90s. But then as their popularity increased, record execcutives pitched the idea of the group becoming a musical franchise. Four of the group's dancers and two hired singers, one of them former Eden's Crush member Nicole Scherzinger, then went into the studio to record an album. The CD sold millions worldwide, powered mainly by its first two singles: the once-ubiquitous "Don't Cha," and this gooey ballad of devotion. A second album was released in 2008, but it failed to deliver on its title promise of Doll Domination, and they've since broken up. Scherzinger still pops up judging singing competitions, but the rest have faded into the showbiz background. There is talk or a reunion, though. Keep your fingers crossed. Or don't.
Next time: Oh thank heaven, it's 2007.
20 - "When I'm Gone," Eminem
19 - "Walk Away," Kelly Clarkson
18 - "Pump It," The Black Eyed Peas
17 - "One Wish," Ray J
16 - "Unwritten," Natasha Bedingfield
.
The second half begins with another Eminem psychodrama about leaving his kids and their mother to go out on tour, and how his dreams torment him with images of his daughter taunting him that he loves his fans more than her. Like him or not, it's hard to debate that any pop artist has laid his demons more bare in his music than Marshall Mathers.
Kelly Clarkson makes her second appearance this week with a strutting rocker about a relationship that isn't working out. Another brilliant vocal, and a shoutout to Canadians Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk for co-writing it.
Next are the Black Eyed Peas, who continued their rise to pop domination with this standard party rap fuelled by a sample of Dick Dale's "Misirlou." The fact that the song survives this attempted ruination, and that it probably made Dale quite a bit of money, makes it my favorite BEP song. Not that it has much competition.
Then it's William Ray Norwood Jr., who despite having had a handful of hits is probably best known either as Brandy's brother or Kim Kardashian's sex-tape costar. One of those hits is this run-of-the-mill R&B ballad about hoping to reunite with a childhood sweetheart. He sings it all right, but I can't say I'm terribly impressed.
Rounding out this quintet is Natasha Bedingfield's biggest American hit, a song about controlling one's destiny that later became the theme song to that terrible MTV thing The Hills. That aside, it's pleasant enough empowerment pop. Still, nothing she's done beats brother Daniel's "Gotta Get Thru This" in my books.
15 - "There it Go (The Whistle Song)," Juelz Santana
14 - "My Humps," The Black Eyed Peas
13 - "Grillz," Nelly featuring Paul Wall, Ali and Gipp
12 - "Gold Digger," Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx
11 - "Sugar, We're Going Down," Fall Out Boy
This group is led off by the biggest solo hit for New York rapper Juelz Santana. He likes to whistle at attractive women, apparently. Thank you for sharing, Mr. Santana, but I don't think much of the song.
The Black Eyed Peas make their second dent on this weeks chart with this lascivious ode to Stacy Ferguson's "lovely lady lumps." And how Will.i.am wants to mix her milk with his "Cocoa Puff." Just creepy all around.
Next is the most recent charttopper to date from Nelly, which he achieved with the assistance of Houstonian Paul Wall, Atlantan Big Gipp, and fellow St. Lunatic Ali. This one's about decorative jewelry worn over one's teeth. Not sure if that's comfortable, but some people like it. Not sure I'd want to wear a top row of diamonds and a bottom row of gold if I were to try this, though. But it's an okay song, and the line "I gotta bill in my mouth like Hillary Rodham" is kind of clever, in a juvenile way.
Then it's Kanye West's first #1, a song about the perils of women who pursue men for their money which features Jamie Foxx singing backup in his Ray Charles voice. But it doesn't completely let guys off the hook, warning women who stick with a man while he's on his way up that when he gets there, he might "leave you for a white girl." This song doesn't need fixing, because it ain't broke, broke.
Anchoring this bunch are Fall Out Boy. I know I haven't made many Simpsons references lately, but this week one comes gift-wrapped in the form of the superstar emo band who named themselves after the ward of Bart Simpson's comic-book hero Radioactive Man. Their first hit was this number that seems to be about jealousy over an ex's new relationship. Emo lyrics can be hard to crack, though. Anyway, this is pretty catchy. I like it.
Do not stare directly into the Top Ten.
10 - "If it's Lovin' That You Want," Rihanna
Back again with her second hit. I like it better then "Pon De Replay," but she'd go on to do much better.
9 - "Dance, Dance," Fall Out Boy
These guys again, obliquely talking about girl troubles. Though I think the meaning of "show me the little bit of spine you've been saving for his mattress" comes through loud and clear. Still, their other song here is better.
8 - "So Sick," Ne-Yo
Just watched this guy, born Shaffer Smith in Camden, Arkansas, perform at the NBA All-Star Game. Didn't think much of the songs he did there, but this, his first hit, is a pretty damn good weeper about how the radio won't stop reminding you of your broken relationship. Very, very solid.
7 - "Photograph," Nickelback
The Albertans break out the acoustic guitars for this song where Chad Kroeger gets wistful about his youth and his hometown: sneaking out of the house to break into the school, blowing money at the arcade, kissing a girl for the first time, etc. The lyrical and musical style remind me of much of what's passed for country music in the last 20 years or so, so I suppose they were widening their demographic. Like it or not, that's why they're huge.
6 - "Don't Forget About Us," Mariah Carey
The second #1 from her return to multiplatinum form The Emancipation of Mimi was this ballad about wanting to remember the good times with someone you're no longer with. It's pretty predictable by her standards, and that's probably why it worked.
5 - "Dirty Little Secret," The All-American Rejects
Somehow, these nondescript Oklahomans became platinum stars in the middle of this decade with songs like this pop-rock trifle about being with a girl but not wanting anyone to know about it. Or something. I don't care enough to be sure.
4 - "Because of You," Kelly Clarkson
This aching ballad about emotional damage, inspired by the divorce of her parents, is arguably Clarkson's tour de force. I don't think that even if American Idol runs a thousand more years that they'll be able to find an artist nearly as powerful and talented as the original.
3 - "Run It," Chris Brown
Okay, now I gotta deal with this asshole. Sigh. Well, on his first hit, he sounds like the horny 16-year-old he probably was. But I don't have anything more to say about his music. We know what he did four years ago, and we know that he's been acting like a persecuted victim and an all-around jerk pretty much ever since. And no, the fact that Rihanna's back with you doesn't excuse a damn thing. Now let's move on.
2 - "Check On It," Beyoncé featuring Slim Thug
For some reason, this was released on a Destiny's Child best-of even though only one of the Children is on it. Basically, it's Beyonce telling men to look how hot she is when she's dancing. Well, okay, Ms. Knowles, if you insist.
And at #1 seven years ago was...
1 - "Stickwitu," The Pussycat Dolls
Originally, The Pussycat Dolls were an L.A.-based burlesque troupe founded in the mid-90s. But then as their popularity increased, record execcutives pitched the idea of the group becoming a musical franchise. Four of the group's dancers and two hired singers, one of them former Eden's Crush member Nicole Scherzinger, then went into the studio to record an album. The CD sold millions worldwide, powered mainly by its first two singles: the once-ubiquitous "Don't Cha," and this gooey ballad of devotion. A second album was released in 2008, but it failed to deliver on its title promise of Doll Domination, and they've since broken up. Scherzinger still pops up judging singing competitions, but the rest have faded into the showbiz background. There is talk or a reunion, though. Keep your fingers crossed. Or don't.
Next time: Oh thank heaven, it's 2007.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
February 11, 2006
This week, it's Februay 11, 2006. The Winter Olympics had just begun in Turin, Italy. Also, I turned 35. And these were American pop radio's gifts to me.
40 - "Behind These Hazel Eyes," Kelly Clarkson
39 - "L.O.V.E.," Ashlee Simpson
38 - "You're Beautiful," James Blunt
37 - "Pon De Replay," Rihanna
36 - "Right Here," Staind
35 - "Wake Me Up When September Ends," Green Day
34 - "Girl Next Door," Saving Jane
33 - "Scars," Papa Roach
32 - "Luxurious," Gwen Stefani
31 - "Everytime We Touch," Cascada
Solo artists account for half of the first section. Kelly Clarkson makes three appearances in this week's Top 40, the first of which is this rocker about trying to appear strong about a nasty breakup. She's calm on the verses, furious on the choruses. Another powerhouse performance. Ashlee Simpson is here with this perky pop-rocker about how best friends can provide better affection and support than boyfriends. She still had a career one year after the SNL incident. My theory is that her real downfall was the emergence of the eerily similarly-voiced Miley Cyrus. Former British cavalryman James Blunt topped the charts on both sides of the Atlantic with this folky ballad about exchanging what seems like a meaningful glance with someone on a subway, yet knowing that there will be no follow-up to that shared moment. Upon hearing this for the first time, I felt sure it was going to be a massive hit. And I felt equally sure that Blunt's plaintive whine would grate on me after the first twenty or so listens. Both happened. 18-year-old Barbados native Robyn Rihanna Fenty had her first major worldwide hit was this pop-dancehall number about wanting a DJ to play her favorite song again. She's gone on to have quite a few more hits since, but it's her earlier stuff like this that I prefer. And Gwen Stefani had her fifth hit from Love. Angel. Music. Baby. with this Isley Brothers-sampling slow jam about how her relationship with Gavin Rossdale feels like Egyptian cotton and cashmere. And I guess it still does, because they're still together, which is pretty good by celebrity standards. Now watch them break up by the end of the year.
Two groups fronted by women appear in this bunch. Columbus, Ohio's Saving Jane had their biggest hit to date with this pop-rock trifle about a girl's envy toward her school's Prom Queen. The song just expresses that idea and leaves it there. There's no moment of sudden self-affirmation, nor is there a cathartic lashing-out against the object of the jealousy. Would it be better with one of those things added? I'm not really sure. But I do think songs like this serve a purpose for teenagers. There are probably quite a few better ones than this, though. And German dance group Cascada had their biggest American hit with this bit of Euro-house. It's the kind of song that you imagine would sound good in a nightlclub, but in any other setting, it just doesn't work for me.
The rest of this group are male-fronted rock bands. Mope-rockers Staind had their most recent pop hit to date with this droney ballad about devotion and stuff. Songs like this were a dime a dozen in this decade, and believe me, I wasn't the one supplying the dimes. Green Day had another American Idiot hit with this mournful number about a cruel month. Another well-crafted single from a band that's been really good at that for quite a while. And Californians Papa Roach had their biggest pop hit with this grunge-popper on which singer Jacoby Shaddix declares "I tear my heart open just to feel." There's a lesson for you, kids. You too can turn your bad teenage poetry into a hit rock song.
30 - "We Be Burnin'," Sean Paul
29 - "Beverly Hills," Weezer
28 - "Here We Go," Trina featuring Kelly Rowland
27 - "Stay Fly," Three 6 Mafia featurning Young Buck and 8Ball and MJG
26 - "Shake That," Eminem featuring Nate Dogg
25 - "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been," Relient K
24 - "You and Me," Lifehouse
23 - "Feel Good Inc.," Gorillaz
22 - "I'm Sprung," T-Pain
21 - "Laffy Taffy," D4L
We begin with a pair of solo men. Sean Paul is here with another of his dancehall-pop tunes involving girls, alcohol, and weed. All familiar topics that he doesn't do anything new or interesting with. But I guess he didn't have to. And Florida-born Faheem Najm, a rapper turned singer (or Rappa Ternt Sanga, as his album title would have it) had his first hit with this song that seems to position "sprung" as a synonym for "whipped." The world was thus introduced to his heavily AutoTuned vocal stylings, and soon, the time would come when it seemed like half of the artist credits on the pop charts included the words "featuring T-Pain.." I honestly haven't heard most of his songs, but I have to say, I like this one. It's catchy and melodic.
Four pop-rock groups are in this mix. Weezer, the nerdish alternative band that shot to fame in the mid-90s, had their biggest pop hit to date with this peppy rocker about envying the rich and famous. Many longtime fans hated this song to the point where they abandoned the group. I eventually lost track of them as well, but the truth is, this song isn't that bad. It's not one of Rivers Cuomo's finest lyrical accomplisments, but it's certainly got a hook, and that talk-box solo is pretty sweet. Christian rockers Relient K had their biggest mainstream hit with this pop-rock tune about regret and redemption. Their sound is in the Simple Plan/Good Charlotte vein, and they don't really distinguish themselves from either. Lifehouse had their second pop Top Ten with this bland little ballad. Their uptempo stuff is generally better. And Gorillaz, an animated "band" masterminded by Damon Albarn of Britpop band Blur and comic book artist Jamie Hewett, had their biggest American hit to date with this ethereal dance track on which Albarn sings dreamily about windmills and veteran rappers De La Soul provide fun rhymes. Terrific song, and when the group plays "live," the animated members are projected on a screen while a real band performs behind it. If they do another tour, it might be something worth checking out. Glovehead meets Gorillaz. Could be fun. Anyway, for both the song itself and what's behind it "Feel Good Inc." is this week's Uneasy Rider.
We finish the first half with rap groups and collaborations. Miami rapper Katrina Taylor had her only major pop hit to date with this ballad about a cheating man that features vocals from Destiny's Child's Rowland and a prominent sample from Force MDs 1986 hit "Tender Love." Not all that remarkable. Memphis' Three 6 Mafia brought some of their friends along on their biggest hit, a track about the same themes covered this week by Sean Paul. A month after this , these guys would collect a Best Original Song Academy Award for their contribution to Hustle and Flow, "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." Gotta love that. Eminem is here with one of his more conventional hits, a simple ode to picking up women who move their asses in pleasing ways. The smooth contributions of Nate Dogg elevate this somewhat, though. And Atlanta's D4L, pruveyors of the hip-hop subgenre "snap" are one-hit wonders at this point in time, but their one hit was this #1 sex rap on which they name drop such confections as bubble gum, chocolate, and the titular chewy candy. Dumb novelty fun.
In Part Two: double doses of a sidekick, a side dish, and a woman we've already heard from this week. And our first encounter with a man who has revealed himself to be of questionable character, to say the least.
40 - "Behind These Hazel Eyes," Kelly Clarkson
39 - "L.O.V.E.," Ashlee Simpson
38 - "You're Beautiful," James Blunt
37 - "Pon De Replay," Rihanna
36 - "Right Here," Staind
35 - "Wake Me Up When September Ends," Green Day
34 - "Girl Next Door," Saving Jane
33 - "Scars," Papa Roach
32 - "Luxurious," Gwen Stefani
31 - "Everytime We Touch," Cascada
Solo artists account for half of the first section. Kelly Clarkson makes three appearances in this week's Top 40, the first of which is this rocker about trying to appear strong about a nasty breakup. She's calm on the verses, furious on the choruses. Another powerhouse performance. Ashlee Simpson is here with this perky pop-rocker about how best friends can provide better affection and support than boyfriends. She still had a career one year after the SNL incident. My theory is that her real downfall was the emergence of the eerily similarly-voiced Miley Cyrus. Former British cavalryman James Blunt topped the charts on both sides of the Atlantic with this folky ballad about exchanging what seems like a meaningful glance with someone on a subway, yet knowing that there will be no follow-up to that shared moment. Upon hearing this for the first time, I felt sure it was going to be a massive hit. And I felt equally sure that Blunt's plaintive whine would grate on me after the first twenty or so listens. Both happened. 18-year-old Barbados native Robyn Rihanna Fenty had her first major worldwide hit was this pop-dancehall number about wanting a DJ to play her favorite song again. She's gone on to have quite a few more hits since, but it's her earlier stuff like this that I prefer. And Gwen Stefani had her fifth hit from Love. Angel. Music. Baby. with this Isley Brothers-sampling slow jam about how her relationship with Gavin Rossdale feels like Egyptian cotton and cashmere. And I guess it still does, because they're still together, which is pretty good by celebrity standards. Now watch them break up by the end of the year.
Two groups fronted by women appear in this bunch. Columbus, Ohio's Saving Jane had their biggest hit to date with this pop-rock trifle about a girl's envy toward her school's Prom Queen. The song just expresses that idea and leaves it there. There's no moment of sudden self-affirmation, nor is there a cathartic lashing-out against the object of the jealousy. Would it be better with one of those things added? I'm not really sure. But I do think songs like this serve a purpose for teenagers. There are probably quite a few better ones than this, though. And German dance group Cascada had their biggest American hit with this bit of Euro-house. It's the kind of song that you imagine would sound good in a nightlclub, but in any other setting, it just doesn't work for me.
The rest of this group are male-fronted rock bands. Mope-rockers Staind had their most recent pop hit to date with this droney ballad about devotion and stuff. Songs like this were a dime a dozen in this decade, and believe me, I wasn't the one supplying the dimes. Green Day had another American Idiot hit with this mournful number about a cruel month. Another well-crafted single from a band that's been really good at that for quite a while. And Californians Papa Roach had their biggest pop hit with this grunge-popper on which singer Jacoby Shaddix declares "I tear my heart open just to feel." There's a lesson for you, kids. You too can turn your bad teenage poetry into a hit rock song.
30 - "We Be Burnin'," Sean Paul
29 - "Beverly Hills," Weezer
28 - "Here We Go," Trina featuring Kelly Rowland
27 - "Stay Fly," Three 6 Mafia featurning Young Buck and 8Ball and MJG
26 - "Shake That," Eminem featuring Nate Dogg
25 - "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been," Relient K
24 - "You and Me," Lifehouse
23 - "Feel Good Inc.," Gorillaz
22 - "I'm Sprung," T-Pain
21 - "Laffy Taffy," D4L
We begin with a pair of solo men. Sean Paul is here with another of his dancehall-pop tunes involving girls, alcohol, and weed. All familiar topics that he doesn't do anything new or interesting with. But I guess he didn't have to. And Florida-born Faheem Najm, a rapper turned singer (or Rappa Ternt Sanga, as his album title would have it) had his first hit with this song that seems to position "sprung" as a synonym for "whipped." The world was thus introduced to his heavily AutoTuned vocal stylings, and soon, the time would come when it seemed like half of the artist credits on the pop charts included the words "featuring T-Pain.." I honestly haven't heard most of his songs, but I have to say, I like this one. It's catchy and melodic.
Four pop-rock groups are in this mix. Weezer, the nerdish alternative band that shot to fame in the mid-90s, had their biggest pop hit to date with this peppy rocker about envying the rich and famous. Many longtime fans hated this song to the point where they abandoned the group. I eventually lost track of them as well, but the truth is, this song isn't that bad. It's not one of Rivers Cuomo's finest lyrical accomplisments, but it's certainly got a hook, and that talk-box solo is pretty sweet. Christian rockers Relient K had their biggest mainstream hit with this pop-rock tune about regret and redemption. Their sound is in the Simple Plan/Good Charlotte vein, and they don't really distinguish themselves from either. Lifehouse had their second pop Top Ten with this bland little ballad. Their uptempo stuff is generally better. And Gorillaz, an animated "band" masterminded by Damon Albarn of Britpop band Blur and comic book artist Jamie Hewett, had their biggest American hit to date with this ethereal dance track on which Albarn sings dreamily about windmills and veteran rappers De La Soul provide fun rhymes. Terrific song, and when the group plays "live," the animated members are projected on a screen while a real band performs behind it. If they do another tour, it might be something worth checking out. Glovehead meets Gorillaz. Could be fun. Anyway, for both the song itself and what's behind it "Feel Good Inc." is this week's Uneasy Rider.
We finish the first half with rap groups and collaborations. Miami rapper Katrina Taylor had her only major pop hit to date with this ballad about a cheating man that features vocals from Destiny's Child's Rowland and a prominent sample from Force MDs 1986 hit "Tender Love." Not all that remarkable. Memphis' Three 6 Mafia brought some of their friends along on their biggest hit, a track about the same themes covered this week by Sean Paul. A month after this , these guys would collect a Best Original Song Academy Award for their contribution to Hustle and Flow, "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." Gotta love that. Eminem is here with one of his more conventional hits, a simple ode to picking up women who move their asses in pleasing ways. The smooth contributions of Nate Dogg elevate this somewhat, though. And Atlanta's D4L, pruveyors of the hip-hop subgenre "snap" are one-hit wonders at this point in time, but their one hit was this #1 sex rap on which they name drop such confections as bubble gum, chocolate, and the titular chewy candy. Dumb novelty fun.
In Part Two: double doses of a sidekick, a side dish, and a woman we've already heard from this week. And our first encounter with a man who has revealed himself to be of questionable character, to say the least.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
February 5, 2005 Part Two
Compldting 2005
20 - "She Will Be Loved," Maroon 5
19 - "Encore," Eminem featuring Dr. Dre and 50 Cent
18 - "Lose My Breath," Destiny's Child
17 - "Mockingbird," Eminem
16 - "Rich Girl," Gwen Stefani featuring Eve
The second half opens with more of Maroon 5's sensitive-guy pop-soul. They try, I suppose, but I'm immune to their charms. Except for...you know.
Eminem is back for the second time this week on a track that features both his mentor Dr. Dre and his protege 50 Cent. Some decent rhymes, and it ends with Eminem referencing Dre's highy anticipated final CD ("Don't worry about that Detox album, it's comin'.") Eight years later, and it still hasn't been released. But I can't say I'm worried about it.
Next are Destiny's Child with their first single after Beyonce became a solo superstar. It's a request for satisfying sex set to a furious marching-band drumbeat. It's between this and "Jumpin', Jumpin'" for the title of best thing they've ever put out, as far as I'm concerned. I was hoping they'd do it during their brief reunion during B's halftime show last week. I thought it would really work in that stadium setting. Ah well, it was still good enough that when they left the building, they took most of the electricity with them.
Then it's more Em, this time showing his sensitive side while explaining to his daughters why he's away from them so often and why he isn't with their mother anymore. Part of comforting them involves singing "Hush Little Baby," although in his version, he pledges violent revenge on non-singing mockingbirds and jewelers who would sell his daughters insufficiently brilliant diamond rings. Maybe not the most polite sentiment, but certainly driven by love.
This group ends with the second single from No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani's solo debut. It's a remake of a 1993 song by British reggae duo Louchie Lou and Michie One, which itself repurposed the chorus of "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof. Dr. Dre produces, Eve raps. It's all right, but I don't like it nearly as much as the song she put out before this "What You Waiting For." That's a classic. Seriously.
15 - "My Boo," Usher featuring Alicia Keys
14 - "Nobody's Home," Avril Lavigne
13 - "Numb/Encore," Linkin Park and Jay-Z
12 - "Breakaway," Kelly Clarkson
11 - "Friends and Lovers" Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz featuring Usher and Ludacris
The second half begins with a collaboration between superstars Usher and Alicia Keys on a midtempo ballad about how a first love stays with you even after you move on to someone else. Smoothly sung, and worthy of the talents of both.
Avril Lavigne picked up another hit with this rocker about feeling lost and having nowhere to turn. A decent example of her more serious side.
Next are the combination of Linkin Park and Jay-Z with a blending of one of the former's hits with a rhyme from the latter's Black Album. Not surprisingly, it's the rock band that benefits more from the collaboration. Jigga actually makes Linkin Park almost tolerable.
Then it's Kelly Clarkson with the title track from her blockbuster second album. It's the wish of a girl to break out of her small-town existence and see the world, co-written by none other than Avril Lavigne. A sweet little song, but the ones that followed all blew it away.
Rounding out this section is Lil' Jon and co., hooking up again with the "Yeah!" crew of Usher and Ludacris on this uncharacteristically tender ballad. A little lewdness does creep in, but still, this is pretty tame for them. And that's not what you want from these guys.
I feel like Top Ten tonight.
10 - "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," Green Day
The Bay Area pop-punks had their biggest pop hit with this mornful midtempo ballad from the album that re-established their relevance, American Idiot. Good album and all, but I'm not sure turning it into a Broadway musical was the best way to keep up their cred.
9 - "Drop it Like it's Hot," Snoop Dogg with Pharell
Snoop's only pop charttopper was this consists of his drawling delivery, a guest rhyme from one half of The Neptunes, and a track that's mostly tongue clicks and 80s keyboards. The lyrics don't really matter, because it's just plain catchy.
8 - "Since U Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson
And here it is, the song that took Ms. Clarkson from talent contest winner to genuine superstar. It was originally written by Max Martin and Dr. Luke with Pink in mind, but after she turned it down and Hilary Duff proved incapable of hitting the higher notes, Clarkson got it, rocked it up, and owned this declaration that a breakup was the best thing to ever happen to her. Pretty much universally loved, and deservedly so. Just great pop.
7 - "True," Ryan Cabrera
This kid's other hit was this ballad that apes Extreme's "More Than Words." Maybe his true calling is playing 90s soft-rock in a cafe frequented by soccer moms.
6 - "Soldier," Destiny's Child
Their second "comeback" single was this track expressing their desire for men with street cred and "hood status." Rappers Li'l Wayne and T.I. show up to seemingly personify this ideal. Not one of my favorites.
5 - "Beautiful Soul," Jesse McCartney
McCartney (no relation) started out as a child soap star, then joined a boy band, and finally achieved success on his own with this meh "what's inside is what counts" pop song. I don't care if that's his real name, he should have changed it out of professional courtesy.
4 - "I Don't Want to Be," Gavin DeGraw
Hailing from New York's Catskill Mountains, DeGraw scored his breakthrough hit with this pop-rocker about just wanting to be himself. As per the lyrics, he actually is the son of a prison guard and a specialist. This song became the theme to the long-running drama One Tree Hill. That show just ended, presumably with an episode where a second tree mysteriously appeared on the hill, causing the locals to riot in anger and confusion. At least that's what I like to think happened.
3 - "Over and Over," Nelly featuring Tim McGraw
Nelly racked up another hit with this ballad that features vocal contribution from country star McGraw. The man was golden at this time.
2 - "1, 2 Step," Ciara featuring Missy Elliott
The "First Lady of Crunk" had her second smash with this slinky track about dancing featuring the always welcome Missy Elliott. Maybe not quite "funky fresh" but still fun and cool.
And on top eight years ago was...
1 - "Let Me Love You," Mario
The only #1 to date for Baltimore's Mario Barrett was this soul ballad on which he offers himself as an alternative to a woman's cheating boyfriend. It's a good track, and Mario's voice is a notch above his contemporaries in the genre. It topped the charts because it was genuinely better than the similar songs out there. I like the justice in that.
I'm going to save discussion about Seacrest and his style for another time.
Next time: 2006.
20 - "She Will Be Loved," Maroon 5
19 - "Encore," Eminem featuring Dr. Dre and 50 Cent
18 - "Lose My Breath," Destiny's Child
17 - "Mockingbird," Eminem
16 - "Rich Girl," Gwen Stefani featuring Eve
The second half opens with more of Maroon 5's sensitive-guy pop-soul. They try, I suppose, but I'm immune to their charms. Except for...you know.
Eminem is back for the second time this week on a track that features both his mentor Dr. Dre and his protege 50 Cent. Some decent rhymes, and it ends with Eminem referencing Dre's highy anticipated final CD ("Don't worry about that Detox album, it's comin'.") Eight years later, and it still hasn't been released. But I can't say I'm worried about it.
Next are Destiny's Child with their first single after Beyonce became a solo superstar. It's a request for satisfying sex set to a furious marching-band drumbeat. It's between this and "Jumpin', Jumpin'" for the title of best thing they've ever put out, as far as I'm concerned. I was hoping they'd do it during their brief reunion during B's halftime show last week. I thought it would really work in that stadium setting. Ah well, it was still good enough that when they left the building, they took most of the electricity with them.
Then it's more Em, this time showing his sensitive side while explaining to his daughters why he's away from them so often and why he isn't with their mother anymore. Part of comforting them involves singing "Hush Little Baby," although in his version, he pledges violent revenge on non-singing mockingbirds and jewelers who would sell his daughters insufficiently brilliant diamond rings. Maybe not the most polite sentiment, but certainly driven by love.
This group ends with the second single from No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani's solo debut. It's a remake of a 1993 song by British reggae duo Louchie Lou and Michie One, which itself repurposed the chorus of "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof. Dr. Dre produces, Eve raps. It's all right, but I don't like it nearly as much as the song she put out before this "What You Waiting For." That's a classic. Seriously.
15 - "My Boo," Usher featuring Alicia Keys
14 - "Nobody's Home," Avril Lavigne
13 - "Numb/Encore," Linkin Park and Jay-Z
12 - "Breakaway," Kelly Clarkson
11 - "Friends and Lovers" Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz featuring Usher and Ludacris
The second half begins with a collaboration between superstars Usher and Alicia Keys on a midtempo ballad about how a first love stays with you even after you move on to someone else. Smoothly sung, and worthy of the talents of both.
Avril Lavigne picked up another hit with this rocker about feeling lost and having nowhere to turn. A decent example of her more serious side.
Next are the combination of Linkin Park and Jay-Z with a blending of one of the former's hits with a rhyme from the latter's Black Album. Not surprisingly, it's the rock band that benefits more from the collaboration. Jigga actually makes Linkin Park almost tolerable.
Then it's Kelly Clarkson with the title track from her blockbuster second album. It's the wish of a girl to break out of her small-town existence and see the world, co-written by none other than Avril Lavigne. A sweet little song, but the ones that followed all blew it away.
Rounding out this section is Lil' Jon and co., hooking up again with the "Yeah!" crew of Usher and Ludacris on this uncharacteristically tender ballad. A little lewdness does creep in, but still, this is pretty tame for them. And that's not what you want from these guys.
I feel like Top Ten tonight.
10 - "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," Green Day
The Bay Area pop-punks had their biggest pop hit with this mornful midtempo ballad from the album that re-established their relevance, American Idiot. Good album and all, but I'm not sure turning it into a Broadway musical was the best way to keep up their cred.
9 - "Drop it Like it's Hot," Snoop Dogg with Pharell
Snoop's only pop charttopper was this consists of his drawling delivery, a guest rhyme from one half of The Neptunes, and a track that's mostly tongue clicks and 80s keyboards. The lyrics don't really matter, because it's just plain catchy.
8 - "Since U Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson
And here it is, the song that took Ms. Clarkson from talent contest winner to genuine superstar. It was originally written by Max Martin and Dr. Luke with Pink in mind, but after she turned it down and Hilary Duff proved incapable of hitting the higher notes, Clarkson got it, rocked it up, and owned this declaration that a breakup was the best thing to ever happen to her. Pretty much universally loved, and deservedly so. Just great pop.
7 - "True," Ryan Cabrera
This kid's other hit was this ballad that apes Extreme's "More Than Words." Maybe his true calling is playing 90s soft-rock in a cafe frequented by soccer moms.
6 - "Soldier," Destiny's Child
Their second "comeback" single was this track expressing their desire for men with street cred and "hood status." Rappers Li'l Wayne and T.I. show up to seemingly personify this ideal. Not one of my favorites.
5 - "Beautiful Soul," Jesse McCartney
McCartney (no relation) started out as a child soap star, then joined a boy band, and finally achieved success on his own with this meh "what's inside is what counts" pop song. I don't care if that's his real name, he should have changed it out of professional courtesy.
4 - "I Don't Want to Be," Gavin DeGraw
Hailing from New York's Catskill Mountains, DeGraw scored his breakthrough hit with this pop-rocker about just wanting to be himself. As per the lyrics, he actually is the son of a prison guard and a specialist. This song became the theme to the long-running drama One Tree Hill. That show just ended, presumably with an episode where a second tree mysteriously appeared on the hill, causing the locals to riot in anger and confusion. At least that's what I like to think happened.
3 - "Over and Over," Nelly featuring Tim McGraw
Nelly racked up another hit with this ballad that features vocal contribution from country star McGraw. The man was golden at this time.
2 - "1, 2 Step," Ciara featuring Missy Elliott
The "First Lady of Crunk" had her second smash with this slinky track about dancing featuring the always welcome Missy Elliott. Maybe not quite "funky fresh" but still fun and cool.
And on top eight years ago was...
1 - "Let Me Love You," Mario
The only #1 to date for Baltimore's Mario Barrett was this soul ballad on which he offers himself as an alternative to a woman's cheating boyfriend. It's a good track, and Mario's voice is a notch above his contemporaries in the genre. It topped the charts because it was genuinely better than the similar songs out there. I like the justice in that.
I'm going to save discussion about Seacrest and his style for another time.
Next time: 2006.
Friday, February 8, 2013
February 5, 2005 Part One
And now we're in February of 2005. A few days before this countdown aired, Iraqis voted in their first post-Saddam elections. And on this weekend, the New England Patriots beat the Philadelphia Eagles to win their third Super Bowl in four years. Surprisingly to many, they haven't won one since. Meanwhile, on the radio...
40 - "Karma," Alicia Keys
39 - "Just Lose It," Eminem
38 - "Only U," Ashanti
37 - "My Happy Ending," Avril Lavigne
36 - "Disco Inferno," 50 Cent
35 - "Get Right," Jennifer Lopez
34 - "Caught Up," Usher
33 - "Welcome to My Life," Simple Plan
32 - "On the Way Down," Ryan Cabrera
31 - "Lady," Lenny Kravitz
Four female singers in this first bunch. Alicia Keys picked up the fourth hit from her second album with this string-laden funk-popper about an ex she once pined for who now wants her back. Some of the violin parts on this intrigue me, but otherwise, she's done better. Ashanti Douglas, perhaps best known for her work with Ja Rule and her solo #1 "Foolish," had her most recent Top 20 with this guitar-riff-powered dance track about a lover. Not much to it. Avril Lavigne kept up her run of hits with this tough-minded midtempo ballad about a once-kind lover who has turned cruel. One of her strongest hits. And Jennifer Lopez, one of my favorites (he says sarcastically), is here with another song about clubbing and such. The sax sample is pretty sweet, and Fabolous' guest rap is okay, but then J. Lo opens her mouth, and for me, it's done.
A couple rappers are here. Eminem's first single from his fourth album, Encore, is typically silly and provocative, with lyrics about farting, streaking, Michael Jackson, and Beavis and Butt-head to go along with frequent employment of Pee-Wee Herman's signature laugh. If you usually like what he does, you'll like this; if you don't, you won't. And Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, a successful signee to Em's Shady Records label, is here with a song that has nothing to do with The Trammps' dancefloor perrennial. This is just mumbly rap about ogling women over a by-numbers beat. Doesn't stand out at all to me.
This section closes with four songs sung by men. After four #1s from his monster Confessions CD, Usher could only crack the Top Ten with the fifth single with this track about a confirmed player who finds himself falling in love. Contrarian that I am, it's probably my favorite song of his. And Fabolous raps on this one too. Good for him. Canadian punk brats Simple Plan had another hit with another cry of typical teen angst. Just open up any 14-year-old's journal while strumming power chords and you'll get the same effect as this song. Dallas pop-rocker Ryan Cabrera had the first hit of his brief run of success with this sensitive-guy number that sounds like warmed over Goo Goo Dolls. But I guess they didn't mind, because Goos singer Johnny Rzeznick contributes backup vocals. Support your imitators. Well, that's one strategy. And Lenny Kravitz had his most recent pop hit to date with this classic-rock grinder about a sophisticated female. It's not much more than okay, but the fact that it was one of the last gasps of that style of music on pop radio makes it sort of refreshing. And it also makes it this week's Uneasy Rider.
30 - "La La," Ashlee Simpson
29 - "Baby It's You," JoJo featuring Bow Wow
28 - "Goodies," Ciara featuring Petey Pablo
27 - "Broken,"Seether featuring Amy Lee
26 - "Sunday Morning," Maroon 5
25 - "Let's Go," Trick Daddy featuring Twista and Lil' Jon
24 - "Dare You to Move," Switchfoot
23 - "I Just Wanna Live," Good Charlotte
22 - "Wonderful," Ja Rule featuring R. Kelly and Ashanti
21 - "Daughters," John Mayer
Only three ladies this time. Ashlee Simpson followed in sister Jessica's footsteps with a music career and an MTV reality show. But where Jess went for the bubblegum, Ashlee went in a more serious, Avril Lavigne-y direction, as on this aggressive lust-rocker that posits its title as a euphemism for sex. That didn't really take off. And Simpson's career didn't reach the heights some thought it might as well, possibly due to that infamous Saturday Night Live appearance. That acid reflux can do a number on you, I suppose. Vermont pop singer JoJo Levesque had her second pop hit with this stuttery-beated tune about how possessions matter less to her than the person inside. Not bad, but the rap from the artist formerly known as "Li'l" Bow Wow is unremarkable. And Texan Ciara Princess Harris had her first hit with this sultry, seductive track that turns out to be a tease because, she says, her "goodies" are going to "stay in the jar" for the time being. Sucks to be you, Petey Pablo.
Four groups in this section. Seether, probably the biggest rock band to ever come out of South Africa, had their biggest pop hit to date with this grungy ballad featurning vocals from both singer Shaun Morgan and one of their labelmates, Evanescence's Amy Lee. Lee makes it a little more interesting, but all in all, just another whiny drone-rock slow song. Maroon 5 continued to defy my wishes by putting out singles after "Harder to Breathe." To be honest, I don't mind this one too much as a song. It's cool little jazz-pop about a lazy a.m. spent indoors. It would just be so much better if Adam Levine wasn't the one singing it. He's too loud and showy to be smooth, and smooth is what this requires. Switchfoot had their second and most recent pop hit with this song about moving on from mistakes and living "like today never happened." As motivational post-grunge goes, it's above average. And Good Charlotte are here with a dance-rocker about how hard it is to be famous with people judging you and stuff. They do reference "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," and seem to recognize the irony that now they are the whiny celebrities, but I just don't think they own that enough. They were serious now. And it didn't become them.
We finish the first half with two rap songs and a solo male singer. Trick Daddy had his biggest pop hit rhyming about guns and booze with help from Twista rapping, Lil' Jon doing his yelling thing, and a sample of Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train. Just a bunch of popular stuff smushed together, and it was good enough for radio at the time. Oh well. Ja Rule had another hit by teaming up with frequent collaborator Ashanti and serial hook man R. Kelly on this song on which he wonders if girls would like him as much if he wasn't rich and successful. My educated guess: not to nearly the same degree as they did at the time. And John Mayer had one of his most famous hits with this acoustic ballad that encourages parents, especially fathers, to be kind and supportive to their female offspring. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I find this kind of creepy. Or maybe I just find John Mayer creepy in general. Hard to say.
Tomorrow: a song I would have like to have seen performed at halftime of the Super Bowl but wasn't, mashups go mainstream, and a song that will probably be played years from now in many movies and TV shows set in the mid-2000s
40 - "Karma," Alicia Keys
39 - "Just Lose It," Eminem
38 - "Only U," Ashanti
37 - "My Happy Ending," Avril Lavigne
36 - "Disco Inferno," 50 Cent
35 - "Get Right," Jennifer Lopez
34 - "Caught Up," Usher
33 - "Welcome to My Life," Simple Plan
32 - "On the Way Down," Ryan Cabrera
31 - "Lady," Lenny Kravitz
Four female singers in this first bunch. Alicia Keys picked up the fourth hit from her second album with this string-laden funk-popper about an ex she once pined for who now wants her back. Some of the violin parts on this intrigue me, but otherwise, she's done better. Ashanti Douglas, perhaps best known for her work with Ja Rule and her solo #1 "Foolish," had her most recent Top 20 with this guitar-riff-powered dance track about a lover. Not much to it. Avril Lavigne kept up her run of hits with this tough-minded midtempo ballad about a once-kind lover who has turned cruel. One of her strongest hits. And Jennifer Lopez, one of my favorites (he says sarcastically), is here with another song about clubbing and such. The sax sample is pretty sweet, and Fabolous' guest rap is okay, but then J. Lo opens her mouth, and for me, it's done.
A couple rappers are here. Eminem's first single from his fourth album, Encore, is typically silly and provocative, with lyrics about farting, streaking, Michael Jackson, and Beavis and Butt-head to go along with frequent employment of Pee-Wee Herman's signature laugh. If you usually like what he does, you'll like this; if you don't, you won't. And Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, a successful signee to Em's Shady Records label, is here with a song that has nothing to do with The Trammps' dancefloor perrennial. This is just mumbly rap about ogling women over a by-numbers beat. Doesn't stand out at all to me.
This section closes with four songs sung by men. After four #1s from his monster Confessions CD, Usher could only crack the Top Ten with the fifth single with this track about a confirmed player who finds himself falling in love. Contrarian that I am, it's probably my favorite song of his. And Fabolous raps on this one too. Good for him. Canadian punk brats Simple Plan had another hit with another cry of typical teen angst. Just open up any 14-year-old's journal while strumming power chords and you'll get the same effect as this song. Dallas pop-rocker Ryan Cabrera had the first hit of his brief run of success with this sensitive-guy number that sounds like warmed over Goo Goo Dolls. But I guess they didn't mind, because Goos singer Johnny Rzeznick contributes backup vocals. Support your imitators. Well, that's one strategy. And Lenny Kravitz had his most recent pop hit to date with this classic-rock grinder about a sophisticated female. It's not much more than okay, but the fact that it was one of the last gasps of that style of music on pop radio makes it sort of refreshing. And it also makes it this week's Uneasy Rider.
30 - "La La," Ashlee Simpson
29 - "Baby It's You," JoJo featuring Bow Wow
28 - "Goodies," Ciara featuring Petey Pablo
27 - "Broken,"Seether featuring Amy Lee
26 - "Sunday Morning," Maroon 5
25 - "Let's Go," Trick Daddy featuring Twista and Lil' Jon
24 - "Dare You to Move," Switchfoot
23 - "I Just Wanna Live," Good Charlotte
22 - "Wonderful," Ja Rule featuring R. Kelly and Ashanti
21 - "Daughters," John Mayer
Only three ladies this time. Ashlee Simpson followed in sister Jessica's footsteps with a music career and an MTV reality show. But where Jess went for the bubblegum, Ashlee went in a more serious, Avril Lavigne-y direction, as on this aggressive lust-rocker that posits its title as a euphemism for sex. That didn't really take off. And Simpson's career didn't reach the heights some thought it might as well, possibly due to that infamous Saturday Night Live appearance. That acid reflux can do a number on you, I suppose. Vermont pop singer JoJo Levesque had her second pop hit with this stuttery-beated tune about how possessions matter less to her than the person inside. Not bad, but the rap from the artist formerly known as "Li'l" Bow Wow is unremarkable. And Texan Ciara Princess Harris had her first hit with this sultry, seductive track that turns out to be a tease because, she says, her "goodies" are going to "stay in the jar" for the time being. Sucks to be you, Petey Pablo.
Four groups in this section. Seether, probably the biggest rock band to ever come out of South Africa, had their biggest pop hit to date with this grungy ballad featurning vocals from both singer Shaun Morgan and one of their labelmates, Evanescence's Amy Lee. Lee makes it a little more interesting, but all in all, just another whiny drone-rock slow song. Maroon 5 continued to defy my wishes by putting out singles after "Harder to Breathe." To be honest, I don't mind this one too much as a song. It's cool little jazz-pop about a lazy a.m. spent indoors. It would just be so much better if Adam Levine wasn't the one singing it. He's too loud and showy to be smooth, and smooth is what this requires. Switchfoot had their second and most recent pop hit with this song about moving on from mistakes and living "like today never happened." As motivational post-grunge goes, it's above average. And Good Charlotte are here with a dance-rocker about how hard it is to be famous with people judging you and stuff. They do reference "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," and seem to recognize the irony that now they are the whiny celebrities, but I just don't think they own that enough. They were serious now. And it didn't become them.
We finish the first half with two rap songs and a solo male singer. Trick Daddy had his biggest pop hit rhyming about guns and booze with help from Twista rapping, Lil' Jon doing his yelling thing, and a sample of Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train. Just a bunch of popular stuff smushed together, and it was good enough for radio at the time. Oh well. Ja Rule had another hit by teaming up with frequent collaborator Ashanti and serial hook man R. Kelly on this song on which he wonders if girls would like him as much if he wasn't rich and successful. My educated guess: not to nearly the same degree as they did at the time. And John Mayer had one of his most famous hits with this acoustic ballad that encourages parents, especially fathers, to be kind and supportive to their female offspring. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I find this kind of creepy. Or maybe I just find John Mayer creepy in general. Hard to say.
Tomorrow: a song I would have like to have seen performed at halftime of the Super Bowl but wasn't, mashups go mainstream, and a song that will probably be played years from now in many movies and TV shows set in the mid-2000s
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