March 22, 1986 Part Two

Before we finish off 1986, let's go pay a visit to March 31, 1973. Roberta Flack was on top with "Killing Me Softly with His Song." The Top Ten included "Love Train," "Danny's Song," and "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia." And below...

..."Can you hear me, Major Tom?" David Bowie was at #17 with his first American hit, the space-mission-gone-wrong tale, "Space Oddity"...Judy Collins was at #32, using food as a metaphor for...something on the folky "Cook with Honey"...Aretha Franklin gets effectively seductive on "Master of Eyes (The Deepness of Your Eyes)" at #33...Bill Withers really enjoys liplocking with his special lady on the spectacularly funky "Kissing My Love" at #35...Jim Croce had his third hit with this week's #37, the leavin' song "One Less Set of Footsteps"...And at #38, The Chi-Lites get delusional by fooling themselves into thinking their getting a note from a special someone by writing "A Letter to Myself." But this week, the spotlight shines on...

16 - "Dead Skunk," Loudon Wainwright III
The son of a Life magazine writer, and future father of recording artists Rufus and Martha Wainwright, this North Carolina-born folksinger had his first and only pop hit with this country-flavored novelty ditty about roadkill. It mentions other deceased animals, but it focuses on one particularly odorous casualty, which is "stinkin' to high heaven." At the time, some saw the song as a metaphor for the shady dealings of the Nixon Administration, a view which Wainwright has never confirmed nor denied. Any way you hear it, it's a strange, fun little number.

Okay, now back to '86

20 - "(How to be a) Millionaire," ABC
19 - "Tender Love," Force MDs
18 - "Addicted to Love," Robert Palmer
17 - "Beat's So Lonely," Charlie Sexton
16 - "Silent Running," Mike and the Mechanics

We begin the second half with ABC and their danceable musing on the quest for wealth. Hey, these guys had some hits, they must have made some pretty good money, so I wouldn't give them any advice even if I had it. And apropos of nothing, this song reminds me of Depeche Mode.

Force MDs weren't army doctors, but rather a New York group that tried to combine doo-wop and hip-hop. Their only Top 40 hit was this seduction ballad. Not spectacular, but okay.

Next is Robert Palmer with what would be his biggest hit, a grinding rocker about the effects of a crippling dependency: heart problems, breathing problems, insomnia, loss of appetite. What awful drug causes such havoc on the body? Why, love, of course. An 80s perrennial, perhaps even better known for the video, in which Palmer is backed by a band of chalkily made-up, short-skirted women. Though I suspect they weren't actually playing those instruments. Just a feeling I have.

Then it's Austin-based singer-guitarist Charlie Sexton, who was still in his teens when he scored his only Top 40 hit with this New-Wavey rocker about unrequited lust. Big things were predicted for young Charlie, and while they didn't quite pan out, he's had a solid career in various bands, as a session musician, and is currently in Bob Dylan's touring group. So he's done all right.

This section ends with Mike and the Mechanics, back from last time with their grim tale of a future filled with war and tyranny. To me, it was their best single, even though their most successful would be 1989's "The Living Years." I wasn't a fan.

15 - "Manic Monday," The Bangles
14 - "Sanctify Yourself," Simple Minds
13 - "Let's Go All the Way," Sly Fox
12 - "How Will I Know," Whitney Houston
11 - "This Could Be the Night," Loverboy

This group opens with the first Top 40 hit from The Bangles, a Prince-penned pop treat about the pressures of getting ready to go back to work after the weekend, especially when your unemployed boyfriend insisted on sex the night before. "Walk Like an Egyptian" has its charms, but for my money, this is their best single.

Scotland's Simple Minds had their thrid American hit with this dance-rocker about trying to remember that "love is all you need" in the midst of the strife and stress of the world. There's even a bit of a religious overtone in the line where Jim Kerr says he prays that "you'll come back down here and show me the way." Regardless, a strong single that's probably been forgotten by many people.

Next are Sly Fox, an American New Wave/funk duo put together by a British producer who had their only major hit with this beat-heavy butt-mover whose title makes one think of sex, but whose verses contain somewhat obtuse lyrics about presidential parties, "cartoon capers," and the fact that "the Hollywood Squares are living in Disneyland." Whatever. I've always thought this was one of the decades better hits. It just has a flavor to it. "Zhum zhum zinny zinny" indeed.

Then it's Whitney Houston, back singing about a man who "takes me to the clouds above." Unfortunately, that means something different than it did back then.

Closing out this bunch are Canada's Loverboy with their last U.S. Top Ten, a bland ballad about "the night to end all nights." Apparently, that means he's taking his girlfriend's virginity. Some of these supposedly romantic songs really aren't when you break them down.

With the Top Ten, you get eggroll.

10 - "Kiss," Prince and the Revolution
The first and most successful single from the Parade LP, which was a soundtrack from Under the Cherry Moon, his flop film follow-up to Purple Rain. The film has been forgotten, but this, slinky, minimalist funk, which features a rare bit of falsetto by Mr. Nelson, as well as the helpful-but-dated reminder that "You don't have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude," has held up as a classic. The Art of Noise version with Tom Jones is fun, but it still doesn't hold a candle to the original.

9 - "What You Need," INXS
The first U.S. Top Ten for these Aussies is this okay rocker about throwing off the chains of worry. Me, I much prefer the title track from this album, Listen Like Thieves, even though it didn't make the Top 40.

8 - "King for a Day," The Thompson Twins
The non-twins return from last time with a song about acquiring power just to "give it all away." Yeah, that's not pointless at all.

7 - "Nikita," Elton John
Sir Elton appears this week with a tender love song to an East German border guard, separated from him by the Berlin Wall. In the video, the object of Elton's crush is a blonde woman, but as everyone with a knowledge of Cold War history knows, "Nikita" is a Russian male name (as in 50s-60s Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev). Even at 15, I knew this. But it didn't matter to me. Whatever Nikita's gender, it's kind of a bland song.

6 - "Kyrie," Mr. Mister
The band the French might call "M. Monsieur" return with their song about life and spirtituality and such. "Broken Wings" beats this all ends up.

5 - "R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.," John Cougar Mellencamp
Johnny had the biggest hit of the "Mellencamp" era with this rootsy rocker about how people from both "the cities" and "the smaller towns" all leave their homes, families and friends to pursue the dream of pop stardom. Then near the end, he lists several 50s and 60s artist that may have influenced these dreamers, including Bobby Fuller, the Young Rascals, the Shangri-Las, "and don't forget James Brown." How could anyone forget James Brown. Not a bad song, but well down my Cougar playlist.

4 - "Rock Me Amadeus," Falco
Yeah, you know this one. Cheesy rap-rock from an Austrian star. There were quite a few versions of this, but the version Casey played was the one that featured a spoken-word recitation of several important dates in Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's life, from his birth, to his first piano conerto, to his wedding, to the debut of The Magic Flute, to his death, and most importantly of all, to the date Falco recorded this song. This is probably my favorite version. Oh, and because I can, I'm yanking the Uneasy Rider from Sting and giving it to Falco. Sorry, Gordon.

3 - "Secret Lovers," Atlantic Starr
Adultery never sounded so boring.

2 - "Sara," Starship
Maybe the worst #1 ever. And that includes some of the truly terrible ones from recent years. It's just that bad.

And at the peak of pop in '86, we find...

1 - "These Dreams," Heart
This band's first #1 finds them at the height of their suckitude. It's a gooey, craptastic ballad over which Nancy Wilson sings about mist and candles and woods and princes. A bad romance novel set to muIsic. The best I can say about it is that it's a thousand times better than "Sara." But ten thousand times worse than silence.

The NotCaseys this week were "I Can't Wait" by Nu Shooz, "Why Can't This be Love" by Van Halen, "Take Me Home" by Phil Collins, and "If You Leave" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. Just to piss me off (or so I thought at the time), Casey opened the show by playing "Sara," the previous week's #1. And there were two LDDs. In the first, a man from Austria dedicated "That's What Friends are For" by Dionne and Friends to the Maryland farmer who employed the man's father when he was a POW during World War II, and with whom both father and son have since bonded. And in the second, a man about to go into the Army dedicated Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle" to the father whom circumstances have prevented him from seeing as much as both of them would like.

Sorry for the delay, but that just means a shorter wait for the next one.