March 2, 1985 Part Two

Before we wrap up 1985, let's take a very quick stop in 1972.

On the chart dated March 4, Nilsson was on top with "Without You"...The Top Ten also included "Down By the Lazy River," "Everything I Own," "Heart of Gold," and "Let's Stay Together"...The first of the newbies is found at #22, in the form of the second and final hit from New Orleans-born, Buffalo-raised soul singer Donnie Elbert's second and last pop hit, a cover of The Four Tops' "I Can't Help Myself." It has a lazy groove, and Elbert puts his own stamp on it. Worthwhile, and much better than Bonnie Pointer's version from last week...A bunch of singers from across the pond called The English Congregation are at #29 with "Softly Whispering I Love You." It's kind of like a 60s soul singer backed by a European boys' choir. Interesting mix...James Brown compares uninformed opinions to "a dull knife (that) just ain't cuttin'" on the fantastic "Talkin' Loud and Sayin' Nothing," at #30...And vocal group The Detroit Emeralds scored their first pop hit by assuring a lover of their ability to provide on "You Want It, You Got It" at #37...But this week, I shine the spotlight on...

33 - "Ring the Living Bell" and 36 - "The Nickel Song," Melanie

Ms. Safka had just had her biggest hit with the #1 "Brand New Key." Most Number One hits have immediate follow-ups, but in Melanie's case, there were two: one from her current record label, and another from the one she'd just left. The official follow-up on Neighborhood Records, the label founded by Safka and her husband, was "Ring the Living Bell." It's the kind of gospel-tinged hippy-dippy stuff that she seemed to specialize in, with metaphors about trying to find fulfillment in life. Meanwhile, her old label, Buddha, decided that they would reach back into their archives and put out a single of their own to capitalize on the success of "Brand New Key." Interestingly, they chose for this purpose "The Nickel Song," which seems to be a thinly veiled swipe at the way the music industry does business, with lyrics like "They're only putting in a nickel and they want a dollar song." Funny that they'd purposely release a song that appears to explain why she decided to leave them in the first place. Anyway, neither song cracked the Top 30, and Melanie would only have one more Top 40, 1973's "Bitter Bad." But between the two, I definitely prefer "The Nickel Song." It's a fun little singalong, and its theme is still very much relevant.

Okay, now let's get back to nineteen, nineteen, nineteen eighty-five.

20 - "Only the Young," Journey
19 - "Relax," Frankie Goes to Hollywood
18 - "Material Girl," Madonna
17 - "Solid," Ashford and Simpson
16 - "Private Dancer," Tina Turner

The second half opens with Journey's contribution to the soundtrack of the high-school wrestling movie Vision Quest. That soundtrack is best remembered for containing the Madonna hit "Crazy for You." That movie isn't remembered at all. As for this Journey track, it's they're typical corporate rock, with Steve Perry singing about the hunger of youth and such. Nothing interesting at all.

Ah, Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I remember that time well, with the "Frankie Say" T-shirts and the Reagan vs. Chernenko wrestling video for "Two Tribes" and all. They weren't as big in Canada as they were in their native U.K., but they were definitely bigger here than in the States, where "Relax" was their only Top 40, reaching #10 over a year after its controversial run to the top in Britain. Why the controversy? First of all, in an era where even Boy George was coy about his sexuality, two members of the band, inculding lead singer Holly Johnson, were openly gay men. Then, there was the bondage-themed art on the 45 sleeve. And then there was the song itself, a thumping technodisco number over which Johnson sang about pre-empting orgasm, and later moaned suggestively and shouted "I'm coming! I'm coming!" Combined, this led a popular BBC disc jockey to make a show of pulling the record off the turntable during a broadcast and deeming it "obscene." Probably not coincidentally, the single then rocketed to #1, where it stayed for five weeks. Somehow, when the song was unleashed on U.S. radio, none of this controversy seemed to follow it. It was just seen as a fun little dance tune. But there is, of course, much more to it than that, and for that reason, it's this week's Uneasy Rider.

Next is Madonna with the follow-up to her first #1, "Like a Virgin." It's a breezy dance tune about how she can only be wooed by men with means. So naturally, the song's video recreated Marilyn Monroe's "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" sequence from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. I enjoyed that video. Take that to mean whatever you will.

Then it's the only pop hit for the prolific songwriting team of Nicholas Ashford and Valerie Simpson. It's an okay bit of pop-soul about a relationship that stays strong in the face of all obstacles. I never liked it that much, but I appreciate it as well-crafted songcraft.

This group is rounded out by the third Top Ten hit of Tina Turner's 80s comeback. It's a Mark Knopfler-written ballad from the point of view of a stripper or prostitute, dreaming of a better life while going through the motions ("You keep your mind on the money, keeping your eyes on the wall"). Tina plays the character with all the required world-weariness. A very good record.

15 - "Too Late for Goodbyes," Julian Lennon
14 - "Lovergirl," Teena Marie
13 - "Misled," Kool and the Gang
12 - "Mr. Telephone Man," New Edition
11 - "Method of Modern Love," Daryl Hall and John Oates

This bunch is led off by the second and last Top Ten hit by John Lennon's oldest son. It's a lazy little midtempo pop number about a bad breakup. A nice little tune. The voice obviously reminds me of John, but for some reason, the song itself reminds me of something George would have done.

Next is the biggest pop hit by white R&B star Teena Marie. It's a catchy, snappy slice of seduction funk. I especially enjoy the way the bass pops on this record. She can rock my world anytime.

Then it's Kool and the Gang with a song about a mysterious, exciting, and "heavy as a Chevy" (?) woman with the unlikely name of Misled. It's a pretty cool bit of funk-rock, and probably as good as these guys got in this decade. I can't believe this came from the same album as the dreadful "Cherish."

New Edition were four Boston-area teens that were discovered by producer Maurice Starr, who gave them a new name because he felt they were a "new edition" of the Jackson 5. This, their second pop Top 40, follows the familiar theme of a guy who can't reach his girlfriend, and thinks it may be due to some sort of technical phone problem. But of course, that's not it at all. It's sweet bubblegum soul, but unfortunately, one can't hear it without thinking of the mess Bobby Brown became. But hey, Bell Biv Devoe were pretty good.

This section closes with Hall and Oates with another of their many many hits. It's fairly decent pop funk. I do think it's funny that they only spell out three of the four words in the song title durning the chorus. You know, guys, I'm sure you could have figured out to fit "M-O-D-E-R-N" in there if you'd taken five more minutes to work on this.

And now, for the no one in attendance, and the tens who will we be watching around the world...Let's get ready to Top Tennnnnnnnnn!

10 - "The Old Man Down the Road," John Fogerty
The first solo hit in over ten years by the ex-Creedence Clearwater Revival frontman would be his biggest, and would help propel the Centerfield album to #1. It's a typically swampy number about a ghostly figure with otherworldly powers, and it compares favorably with much of CCR's best tunes. Also comparing it to Creedence was a man named Saul Zaentz, who owned the publishing rights to all of that band's original songs. In fact, Zaentz felt that "The Old Man Down the Road" was so similar to that of Creedence's "Run Through the Jungle" that he had grounds to sue Fogerty for plagiarism. And since Fogerty had also written "Run Through the Jungle," he was in the strange position of being accused of plagirarizing himself. Zaentz lost the suit, and was later forced to pay all of Fogerty's legal fees. Justice was done, I'd have to say.

9 - "Sugar Walls," Sheena Easton
This Prince-written synth-funk number caused controversy, because some people thought that the "sugar walls" Sheena was singing about were, in fact, located in the interior of her vagina. Hmm, let's see. It was written by noted carnality enthusiast Prince, there's a line that says "Blood races to your private spots," and the "sugar walls" in question are compared to "heaven on Earth." By gum, I think those people were on to something! Who knows how many innocents were seduced into believing that sex was some sort of enjoyable pastime by these dirty, dirty lyrics? For shame, Sheena!

8 - "Easy Lover," Philip Bailey and Phil Collins
Bailey, the lead singer of Earth, Wind and Fire, had his biggest hit without the rest of that band with this smash rock duet with the lead vocalist of Genesis. Lyrically, it explores a theme that has popped up in rock song since at least "Runaround Sue," and I'm sure it was around long before that. I'll bet there were even Gregorian chants about women like the one described in this song. As for this one, it's crazy catchy, and the two Phils' voices jell surpisingly well together.

7 - "I Want to Know What Love Is," Foreigner
The band's biggest hit. It's about overcoming hardship while searching for a meaningful relationship. Possibly with a lover, or pehraps with something greater. The song is given a strong gospel feel by the backing vocals of the New Jersey Mass Choir. I have nothing negative to say about this. It's an unimpeachable pop production.

6 - "Neutron Dance," The Pointer Sisters
Ruth, June and Anita's most recent Top Ten is an energetic pop song about trying to make it through life's rough patches. The song gives no clue as to what the "Neutron Dance" is, but apparently, they were just burning to do it.


5 - "Loverboy," Billy Ocean
After going to #1 with "Caribbean Queen," Billy just missed doing it again with this slick dance track about how much Billy wants whoever he's singing to. Not quite as interesting or distinctive as "Caribbean Queen," but still, pretty good.

4 - "The Heat is On," Glenn Frey
Like "Neutron Dance," this also came from the soundtrack of Beverly Hills Cop, the movie that launched the career of Judge Reinhold. Oh, and Eddie Murphy was in it too, I think. As for this song, it's just Glenn singing about heat and the street and the beat and stuff, and there's a lot of saxophone. It's pretty much everything I hate about Glenn Frey's solo career in one compact package.

3 - "California Girls," David Lee Roth
Diamond Dave was still a month away from officially quitting Van Halen when this cover of the Beach Boys' immortal ode to the beach babes of the Golden State hit its chart peak. It's a decent version, somewhat faithful to the original (the backing vocals of Carl Wilson helped in that department), but DLR's own horndog personality adds a touch of...something. And I'm glad he and VH are back together. But still, it'd be better with Michael Anthony instead of Wolfgang.

2 - "Can't Fight this Feeling," REO Speedwagon
These guys picked up their second and last #1 with this wusstastic ballad. Kevin Cronin's voice is a bit grating in the best of circumstances, but here, it's fingernails-on-chalkboard squared. Just terrible.

And on top of the charts 27 years ago, we find...

1 - "Careless Whisper," Wham featuring George Michael
This was the second straight charttopper from the band's U.S. breakthrough, Make it Big. Strangely, in England, it was credited to George Michael alone, even though it was the only song on the album that Andrew Ridgeley co-wrote with George. No matter who gets the credit, it's a cool, soulful ballad about a man who regrets blowing his chance with his true love by cheating on her. And George uses it as a showcase for his considerable vocal talent. This is where you could tell that he, at least, had plenty of hits in him to come.

The NotCaseys this week were "Missing You" by Diana Ross, "Smooth Operator" by Sade, "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds, and "One Night in Bangkok" by Murray Head. And Casey played two LDDs. First, a young woman dedicated Chicago's "Stay the Night" to her sister, who was the one member of her family who stayed by her side as she battled drug addiction. Later, a woman dedicated Minnie Riperton's "Lovin' You," to her husband serving in the military, whom she met in an arena parking lot after a basketball game.

And that's that for this. More soon.