The end.
20 - “Machine Gun,” Commodores
Before all the ballads and “Brick House,” these Alabamians had their first hit with a funk instrumental. Spacey, gutbucket goodness.
19 - “I Got the Music in Me,” The Kiki Dee Band
The third hit for the future Elton John duet partner (and the only one to cross the pond) was this rocker about being full of it...rock, that is. This is like a bridge between Tina Turner and Suzi Quatro.
18 - “Y Viva Espana,” Sylvia
It's about Spain, it was originally written in Dutch by a Belgian, here it's sung in English ny a Swede, and it sounds like a polka. If this is the product of a united Europe, maybe Brexit isn't such a bad idea after all.
17 - “(You’re) Having My Baby,” Paul Anka
Almost a Triple Crown for the Anka man, but denied by the Brits, who held it to #6. I thought it would have completed the hat trick, given their taste for treacle.
16 - “The Bitch is Back,” Elton John
Sir Elton’s nit-picking, glue-sniffing anthem only got to #15 here, but it became his sixth #1 in Canada. To that point, he’d had two in the U.S., and...zero at home. Whoa.
15 - “Farewell/Bring it On Home to Me,” Rod Stewart
Roddy’s seventh Top Ten was double-sided. The A is a wistful rocker about a boy leaving his loved ones to seek his fortune in the big wide world. The B is a medley of two Sam Cooke classics. The A is nice, but the flip is more memorable as a showcase for his voice.
14 - “I Get a Kick Out of You,” Gary Shearston
This Aussie folkie had his only U.K. success with a cover of the Cole Porter standard about a lover more thrilling and intoxicating than anything. It’s a little jarring hearing it this way, similar to that Hawaiian guy’s cover of “Over the Rainbow.” But this is cooler, and also has the advantage of not being overused in ads and films.
13 - “Reggae Tune,” Andy Fairweather Low
This Welsh guitarist first found success with the band Amen Corner, than picked up a few solo hits, including this, um, reggae tune. He reminds me of Eric Clapton a lot on this, But it’s worth a listen. He does all right.
12 - “Queen of Clubs,” KC and the Sunshine Band
Before his Big Three, Harry Casey managed a Top Ten here with this almost-disco ode to a lady who rules dance floors. Grittier than what they’d become.
11 - “Everything I Own,” Ken Boothe
This Jamaican picked up a #1 here by covering a 1972 Bread hit reggae-style. He freshened up a stale recipe.
10 - “Knock on Wood,” David Bowie
Bowie scores again with a glam cover of Eddie Floyd’s 1966 soul hit. It works just as well here as when Amii Stewart took it to the disco five years later.
9 - “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe,” Barry White
Baby, you know, America showed him enough love to give this a #1. And Canada, that sweet thing, put it in the Top Five. Britain, well, they were a little shy, and only got it up to #8. But it’s all good. Any love is good love, if you make it good. Awwwwwawwwwbaby!
8 - “You You You,” Alvin Stardust
A-Star’s fourth hit was this competent piece of glamabilly. I get less impressed with him with every new song I hear.
7 - “Hang On in There Baby,” Johnny Bristol
The big hit from this North Carolinian. He does the Barry White thing before Barry completely claimed it. And he does it well, with more of a Lou Rawls smoothness.
6 - “Long Tall Glasses (I Can Dance),” Leo Sayer
The pride of Essex with a banjo-decorated tale of how the promise of copious amounts of food brought out his inner Baryshnikov. Pre-falsetto Leo is the best Leo.
5 - “Gee Baby,” Peter Shelley
The first of two Top Fives for the actual singer of Alvin Stardust’s “My Coo Ca Choo” was this 50s-style pop ballad. So sincere it borders on parody.
4 - “Kung Fu Fighting,” Carl Douglas
Possibly the definitive one-hit wonder. It got a Triple Crown, and topped at least nine other countries’ charts. A Dirty Dozen, if you will.
3 - “Sad Sweet Dreamer,” Sweet Sensation
This Manchester soul group had a #1 with a pretty good imitation of the Philly sound. I like it better than when I first heard it on an AT40. It’s just one of those things you put down to experience.
2 - “Rock Me Gently,” Andy Kim
The Montrealer’s perfect pop-rock earworm came exactly this close to a Triple Crown. Unfortunately, he had never been loved like this again.
1 - “Annie’s Song,” John Denver
This was his only hit over here, and he made it count by collecting the third jewel required for a Triple Crown. And for the record, “Annie” was his wife, although seeing as he wrote it on a ski lift, it was probably thin mountain air that was filling up his senses.
Next time, we finally finish the first round of the tournament. See you then.
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