The rest of it.
20 - “Cars,” Gary Numan
Two months after topping the charts with Tubeway Army, Numan was on his own and on the way to the top again with the classic chilly synth tune about automotive isolation. Chrome-plated brilliance.
19 - “The Diary of Horace Wimp,” Electric Light Orchestra
ELO again, this time with another Beatlesque epic in the “Mr. Blue Sky” vein. This one’s about a shy, nervous man who finally manages to break out of his shell and get a woman, with the help of some possibly-divine inspiration. A sweet story. Too bad it wasn’t a single in North America.
18 - “When You’re Young,” The Jam
Their eighth hit (and last before they’d finally crack the Top Ten) was this fiery rocker about the last moments of youthful idealism before the harsh reality of adult life sets in. The sound of age 17.
17 - “Sweet Little Rock n’Roller,” Showaddywaddy
Another hit for Leicester’s best nostalgia merchant. This one’s is a doo-wop/R&B mix about girls and dancing. Very good by their standards.
16 - “Street Life,” The Crusaders
The Houston jazz-fusionists picked up a home Top 40 and a Top Five here with this Randy Crawford-sung groove about hustling to survive. Simultaneously smooth and gritty, which is a neat trick.
15 - “Gotta Go Home/El Lute,” Boney M
The Boneys penultimate non-remix hit was a double sider. The A is sunny, calypso-tinged disco about going to tropic climes. The B is another bit of fractured history, a ballad about Eleuterio Sánchez, a real-life Jean Valjean-style condemned innocent who became a symbol of resistance in Spain under the dictatorship of Francisco Franco. No prizes for guessing which one I prefer.
14 - “Angel Eyes,” ABBA
Another of their Euro hits that didn’t hit over here. The usual disco-lite about a guy with heavenly peepers. It made it into the Mamma Mia sequel. How many movies will they be able to wring out of that catalogue?
13 - “Is She Really Going Out with Him,” Joe Jackson
The angst breakthrough for the Staffordshire version of Elvis Costello. It was left to Canada to give it its deserved Top Ten placing. I think there might be a deep meaning in that.
12 - “Hersham Boys,” Sham 69
The band’s biggest hit was this loving warts-and-all ode to their Surrey hometown. I think the little hoedown break in the middle has something to do with them referring to themselves as “Cockney cowboys.” Very much in line with their apparent belief that punk was football chants set to hard rock,
11 - “Just When I Needed You Most,” Randy Vanwarmer
The Colorodan’s ballad was a transatlantic Top Ten, but only #32 in Canada. I guess we found other ways to keep our vans warm.
10 - “Ooh What a Life,” The Gibson Brothers
From France via Martinique, Chris, Patrick, and Alex Gibson picked up their first of four Brit hits with this idealistic disco track. Paris clearly could have powdered the disco movement at least as well as New York did.
9 - “Reasons to be Cheerful (Part 3),” Ian Dury and the Blockheads
The iconoclastic rockers last of three Top Tens was this loveably off disco funk laundry lists of things that made Dury happy, from music (Elvis, Buddy Holly, John Coltrane) to food and drink (porridge, carrot juice, “cheddar cheese and pickle”) to...miscellaneous (yellow socks, the recently found smallpox vaccine, using the toilet). Silly but brilliant. Silliant, if you will. Also an Uneasy Rider, especially because there were no Parts 1 and 2.
8 - “Money,” The Flying Lizards
The biggest hit by this coming together of New Wave and avant-garde musicians was this weird, machine-driven cover of the 1960 Barrett Strong hit. A detached female vocal, strange sound effects, and the most synthetic-sounding beats ever. Amazing. And a co-Uneasy Rider, just cuz.
7 - “Duke of Earl,” Darts
The Brighton retro act picked up their last Top Ten with this cover of Gene Chandler’s 1962 statement of teenage confidence. I’d hire them to play this at a wedding, but otherwise, I’d only listen to the original.
6 - “Gangsters,” Specials
The first hit for the leading light of the 2 Tone ska era. Apparently, this a cover of a 1964 Prince Buster song, “Al Capone,” changed to be about how the group were held responsible for damages at a hotel that another band on the tour committed. They openly blame their former manager, Bernard Rhodes (“Bernie Rhodes knows, don’t argue.”) A fine introduction to a sound that ruled Britain for the next year or so.
5 - “After the Love Has Gone,” Earth Wind and Fire
EWF’s third Top Five here was this classic ballad about being at a romantic crossroads. This will never stop being right.
4 - “Angel Eyes,” Roxy Music
This may have the same title as ABBA’s current hit, but it sure is let the same song. It’s disco, but Roxy’s take on it, so it has that certain something. You picture people doing the same dances to it, but the looks on their faces are more serious.
3 - “Bang Bang,” B.A. Robertson
The first and biggest hit for this Glaswegian was this bit of synthpop about doomed historical romances, including Antony and Cleopatra and Samson and Delilah. Fun and catchy, which makes it the polar opposite of a hit he’d co-write a decade later, Mike and the Mechanics’ “The Living Years.”
2 - “I Don’t Like Mondays,” The Boomtown Rats
Geldof and company’s second and final #1, and by far their most famous song. A piano-driven rocker based on a real-life incident when 16-year-old Brenda Spencer entered a San Diego elementary school and began shooting, killing two adults and injuring eight children. When asked for a reason for her actions, Spencer apparently said “I don’t like Mondays. This livens up the day.” The Rats were touring America at the time, and he was giving an interview at a radio station and was sitting next to the Telex machine when a wire service report about the shooting came through, and he was thus inspired to write this song. It’s a powerful song about the rational and moral bafflement that such seemingly inexplicable acts of violence cause. It depicts the event without exploiting it for pure shock value. In addition to its success here, it was also a Top Five in Canada, but only got to #73 in the U.S., perhaps understandably.
And on top back then was...
1 - “We Don’t Talk Anymore,” Cliff Richard
Sir Cliff returned to the top after eleven years with this slick dance-rocker about a breakup. I don’t like it quite as much as “Devil Woman,” but it’s pretty great.
There goes another one. Next time, the tournament is back. See you then.
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