But wait, there’s more.
20 - “Hold on to Love,” Peter Skellern
The second and last hit for this man from Bury was this attempt at sexy soul. Doesn’t quite come off, but there have been worse tries.
19 - “Ding-a-Dong,” Teach-In
It was Eurovision season, so of course the winner is in the charts. This year the prize was won by a Dutch group with a song about cheering yourself up with a nonsensical phrase. It’s in the same league as early ABBA, and it's more than competitive.
18 - “Swing Your Daddy,” Jim Gilstrap
Texas native Gilstrap was a session singer and musician whose most prominent moment before this was being the male voice singing the first part of Stevie Wonder’s “You are the Sunshine of My Life.” His biggest solo success came when he took this snappy soul song to #4 here. He made a wave when he could, as he sang on one of his other big moments, the Good Times theme.
17 - “We’ll Find Our Day,” Stephanie De Sykes
Born Stephanie Ryton, this singer picked up her second hit with a ballad she performed at a wedding on the soap opera Crossroads. It’s...what you’d expect from a ballad performed at a wedding on a soap opera. Your opinion of that is your opinion of this.
16 - “Love Me, Love My Dog,” Peter Shelley
The second of two Top Fives (three if you count “My Coo-Ca-Choo,” the Alvin Stardust hit on which he was the actual singer) for this non-Buzzcock was this crap bit of cheese about dumping a lady who cannot abide his canine companion. It’s like a David Cassidy impersonator singing a song by Harry Nilsson’s non-union Mexican equivalent. That’s why it’s my Uneasy Rider for the week
15 - “Life is a Minestrone,” 10cc
Their fifth Top Ten was this jaunty rock tune about how life can truly be a banquet, with soup and crepes, until it all ends with cold lasagna. The kind of wonderful, meaningful nonsense you can always depend on these guys for.
14 - “Only Yesterday,” Carpenters
Karen singing optimistic pop with a tango beat. Lovely.
13 - “Love Like You and Me,” Gary Glitter
The creep’s tenth Top Ten is okay pop. Shame about the singer. Lots and lots of shame.
12 - “I Wanna Dance Wit Choo,” Disco Tex and the Sex-O-Lettes
Somehow, this derivative follow-up to “Get Dancin’” was a bigger hit here than its predecessor. It does have it’s own charms, but no, that’s not right.
11 - “The Tears I Cried,” The Glitter Band
The fifth Top Ten for the creep at #13’s sometime backup was this bit of breakup glam-pop. Not the strongest entry in the genre.
10 - “A Little Love and Understanding,” Gilbert Becaud
Frenchman Becaud (whose birth surname, I’m not kidding, was “Silly”) has been electrifying audiences at home for two decades before scoring his only Brit hit with this charming Gallic croon meant to inspire optimism in the listener. It worked on me. I’m tempted to hear more of him.
9 - “Take Good Care Of Yourself,” The Three Degrees
The second Top Ten for the Philly soul trio was this bit of sumptuous disco asking a lover to practice good self-care between rendezvous. Well, since they asked so nicely...
8 - “Bye Bye Baby,” Bay City Rollers
The Rollers’ first #1 was a cover of a 1965 Four Seasons hit. It makes me want to hear Frankie and the boys.
7 - “The Night,” Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
Oh hey, there they are. This was recorded in 1972, but it didn’t hit here until it became hit on the clearly influential Northern Soul scene. It’s actually funky, and features Frankie warning a girl not to give herself to the wrong guy. I’m on record disparaging much of their 70s output, but this is very good, and belongs with their best 60s moments.
6 - “Let Me Try Again,” Tammy Jones
Welshwoman Jones had been recording and performing predominantly in her native language for a decade when England finally discovered her through Opportunity Knocks. Her run in that show led to her one big hit, a cover of a song co-written by Paul Anka and recorded by Frank Sinatra two years earlier. It’s that kind of big, let’s give it another go ballad, and she belts it quite proficiently. But it’s quite a bit short of being a standout.
5 - “Honey,” Bobby Goldsboro
The Floridian’s 1968 tearjerker was on its second run to #2 here. It caught me at the wrong or right time this time, because I teared up a little. Damn you Goldsboro!
4 - “Hurt So Good,” Susan Cadogan
Jamaican Cadogan had her biggest hit with a reggae cover of Millie Jackson’s 1971 hit about a relationship that’s worth the moments of misery. Well done, although the amount of misery described in the song could be seen as unhealthy
3 - “Stand By Your Man,” Tammy Wynette
Speaking of songs that can be interpreted as questionable advice, here’s the 1969 country classic by Mississippi-born Virginia Pugh, finally released here and on its way to the top. I think the song is more good relationship guidance for both sexes rather than a call for women to take whatever shit their man gives them, but I can see given the charged atmosphere of the times how it could be seen as retrograde scolding.
2 - “Loving You,” Minnie Riperton
This ballad best remebered for those high notes was a #1 in the States, a #2 here, and a #3 in Canada. There should be a name for that. I’ll call it a Pinfall, like in wrestling. One...two...three. Ding Ding Ding! No, I’ll call it a Dinger instead.
And your 43-year-old Number One is.
1 - “Oh Boy,” Mud
The third band last #1 for the Carshalton glam era was this cover of Buddy Holly’s 1958 teen romance raveup. They slow it down and have a woman do a sultry spoken-word break. It doesn’t work for me.
There you go. Next time: the tournament returns.
Tuesday, May 29, 2018
Wednesday, May 23, 2018
An Old Man Abroad: UKT40 May 10,1975 Part One
May 1975. Um,,,there was some sort of reorganization of local governments in Scotland. That’s...something. Let’s see if the charts were more newsworthy.
40 - “Israelites,” Desmond Dekker and the Aces
Born Desmond Dacres in 1941, this Jamaican was the first artist to get high on major nations’ charts with reggae, reaching #1 here and #9 in the States with this tale of a young man who lives in poverty in spite of working, to the point where his family leaves him and he contemplates crime, although he fears the consequences (“I don’t want to end up like Bonnie and Clyde.”). It was rereleased at this time, and returned to the British Top Ten. My parents had the 45 of this, and it fascinated me with its alien sound. And it’s still probably my favourite ska record ever.
39 - “Hasta La Vista,” Sylvia
Swede Sylvia Vrethammar sings some lite-pop in foreign languages. The titles are in Spanish, but I think the lyrics are in German. It’s a United Nations of suck.
38 - “Autobahn,” Kraftwerk
Another encounter with our favourite German synth track about highway driving. It never fails to thrill. The closest I’ll ever get to flying at 200 kph through the Black Forest.
37 - “Stand by Me,” - John Lennon
This is a decent cover, but it’s much less interesting than the story behind it’s parent album, Rock n’Roll. Lennon agreed to make a covers album to settle a lawsuit from a music publisher over a Chuck Berry lyric quoted in “Come Together.” He chose Phil Spector to produce, but not surprisingly, Spector behaved erratically, eventually running off with the master tapes, and then getting into a car accident which left him in a coma. Lennon retrieved the tapes, but he decided to put the album in hold and make a different one. However, the aggrieved publisher was frustrated with the delay, so when John gave him a copy of the unfinished masters, the publisher released them on an album he made available through TV mail-order. He was forced to stop after three days, but he did get the official album rush-released. Ah, the old-school, cutthroat record business.
36 - “Sing Baby Sing,” The Stylistics
The Philly group’s fifth Top Ten here was this feel-good number about newlyweds. It’s kind of like “Hot Fun in the Summertime,” but with weddings instead of county fairs.
35 - “Wombling White Tie and Tails,” The Wombles
Another number by the proto-freegan mammalian puppets. It’s about one of them fantasizing about being a star of Hollywood musicals in the Fred Astaire vein. It does get a little icky when a character affects a Mae West voice and says “Womble up and see me sometime.” Even if I could, I wouldn’t.
34 - “The Funky Gibbon,” The Goodies
The sketch comedy trio of Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie were on British television throughout the 70s, and they also managed five hits, the biggest being this silly funk tune about dancing like one of the smaller members of the ape family. As novelty fare goes, its more on the entertaining side than the annoying one.
33 - “I Get the Sweetest Feeling/Higher and Higher,” Jackie Wilson
A reissue of two of Mr. Excitement’s late 60s. The B side is better-known, but the A is a strutting showcase of the man’s voice and style. Both are all-star soul.
32 - “Lady Marmalade,” Labelle
The tale of a man’s memorable dalliance with a Big Easy prostitute did the North American #1 double, but only got to #17 here. To me, that’s a mocha-choca-lotta-no-no.
31 - “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles,” West Ham United Cup Squad
This song turns 100 this year, and hear we find the football club who adopted it performing a disco-reggae version to celebrate reaching the FA Cup Final. They would beat Fulham 2-0 to lift the trophy for only the second time. Fortune was not hiding from them that day.
30 - “Save Me,” Silver Convention
Before their better known hits “Fly Robin Fly” and “Get Up and Boogie,” this German disco outfit had this hit. A little faster and funkier, but with the same minimum of lyrics.
29 - “Skiing in the Snow,” Wigan’s Ovation
This track was first popularized by the Northern Soul community in the form of a 1965 version by the Invitations. There was no official version widely available, so producer Russ Winstanley got an unknown Wigan band to rename themselves and record a cover, which although derided by purists, made it to #12. I’ve never heard the Invitations, but it can’t be anything but better than this damp squib.
28 - “Once Bitten Twice Shy,” Ian Hunter
The former Mott the Hoople frontman had his biggest solo success with this tale of the “education” of a groupie. Terrific sleazy rock. And let’s expunge that Great White cover from the record, shall we? I still say their egotistic longing for past glories is what led to the Station tragedy.
27 - “Don’t Do it Baby,” Mac and Katie Kissoon
The Trinidadian-British brother/sister duo’s 1971 U.S, hit version of “Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep” was overshadowed by another take in theirt adopted homeland, but they would manage a handful of other hits here, including this please-don’t-leave pop tune. Nothing interesting about it.
26 - “Papa Oom Mow Mow,” The Sharonettes
Another white-bread Northern Soul cover by a band found by an opportunistic producer, this one of a 1962 number by The Rivingtons. This is a little better than Wigan’s Ovation, but still, I’m holding my applause.
25 - “Where is the Love,” Betty Wright
Miamian Wright is best known at home for her 1971 Top Ten “Clean Up Woman,” but her only Brit I hit was this disco-funk calling out of a man bot living up to his promises. Sublime, and maybe the best thing Harry Wayne Casey was ever involved with...
24 - “Get Down Tonight,” KC and the Sunshine Band
...but this one might be #2. The template of the Sunshine Band formula, and one that was never improved upon. I don’t know that Britain was wrong to deny it a Triple Crown, but it should have gotten a bit higher than #21 at least.
23 - “Sorry Doesn’t Always Make It Right,” Diana Ross
Miss Ross shines on this harmonica-accented ballad about lingering breakup pain. An underheard artistic high point by the Supreme diva.
22 - “The Way We Were/Try to Remember,” Gladys Knight and the Pips
This soul interpretation of Streisand’s Oscar-winning movie theme, with some Fantasticks thrown in for good measure, not only charted higher here than in the states, it outcharted Babs’ original. And I can’t say that’s wrong. This is GK just killing it.
21 - “Fox on the Run,” Sweet
The groupie ode was a Triple Top Five in its day, and returned to mainstream consciousness four decades later thanks to Guardians of the Galaxy. Speaking of which, I haven’t seen Infinity War yet. That’s right, I’m the one.
In Part Two: we will dine on soup, honey, and...wet dirt.
40 - “Israelites,” Desmond Dekker and the Aces
Born Desmond Dacres in 1941, this Jamaican was the first artist to get high on major nations’ charts with reggae, reaching #1 here and #9 in the States with this tale of a young man who lives in poverty in spite of working, to the point where his family leaves him and he contemplates crime, although he fears the consequences (“I don’t want to end up like Bonnie and Clyde.”). It was rereleased at this time, and returned to the British Top Ten. My parents had the 45 of this, and it fascinated me with its alien sound. And it’s still probably my favourite ska record ever.
39 - “Hasta La Vista,” Sylvia
Swede Sylvia Vrethammar sings some lite-pop in foreign languages. The titles are in Spanish, but I think the lyrics are in German. It’s a United Nations of suck.
38 - “Autobahn,” Kraftwerk
Another encounter with our favourite German synth track about highway driving. It never fails to thrill. The closest I’ll ever get to flying at 200 kph through the Black Forest.
37 - “Stand by Me,” - John Lennon
This is a decent cover, but it’s much less interesting than the story behind it’s parent album, Rock n’Roll. Lennon agreed to make a covers album to settle a lawsuit from a music publisher over a Chuck Berry lyric quoted in “Come Together.” He chose Phil Spector to produce, but not surprisingly, Spector behaved erratically, eventually running off with the master tapes, and then getting into a car accident which left him in a coma. Lennon retrieved the tapes, but he decided to put the album in hold and make a different one. However, the aggrieved publisher was frustrated with the delay, so when John gave him a copy of the unfinished masters, the publisher released them on an album he made available through TV mail-order. He was forced to stop after three days, but he did get the official album rush-released. Ah, the old-school, cutthroat record business.
36 - “Sing Baby Sing,” The Stylistics
The Philly group’s fifth Top Ten here was this feel-good number about newlyweds. It’s kind of like “Hot Fun in the Summertime,” but with weddings instead of county fairs.
35 - “Wombling White Tie and Tails,” The Wombles
Another number by the proto-freegan mammalian puppets. It’s about one of them fantasizing about being a star of Hollywood musicals in the Fred Astaire vein. It does get a little icky when a character affects a Mae West voice and says “Womble up and see me sometime.” Even if I could, I wouldn’t.
34 - “The Funky Gibbon,” The Goodies
The sketch comedy trio of Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie were on British television throughout the 70s, and they also managed five hits, the biggest being this silly funk tune about dancing like one of the smaller members of the ape family. As novelty fare goes, its more on the entertaining side than the annoying one.
33 - “I Get the Sweetest Feeling/Higher and Higher,” Jackie Wilson
A reissue of two of Mr. Excitement’s late 60s. The B side is better-known, but the A is a strutting showcase of the man’s voice and style. Both are all-star soul.
32 - “Lady Marmalade,” Labelle
The tale of a man’s memorable dalliance with a Big Easy prostitute did the North American #1 double, but only got to #17 here. To me, that’s a mocha-choca-lotta-no-no.
31 - “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles,” West Ham United Cup Squad
This song turns 100 this year, and hear we find the football club who adopted it performing a disco-reggae version to celebrate reaching the FA Cup Final. They would beat Fulham 2-0 to lift the trophy for only the second time. Fortune was not hiding from them that day.
30 - “Save Me,” Silver Convention
Before their better known hits “Fly Robin Fly” and “Get Up and Boogie,” this German disco outfit had this hit. A little faster and funkier, but with the same minimum of lyrics.
29 - “Skiing in the Snow,” Wigan’s Ovation
This track was first popularized by the Northern Soul community in the form of a 1965 version by the Invitations. There was no official version widely available, so producer Russ Winstanley got an unknown Wigan band to rename themselves and record a cover, which although derided by purists, made it to #12. I’ve never heard the Invitations, but it can’t be anything but better than this damp squib.
28 - “Once Bitten Twice Shy,” Ian Hunter
The former Mott the Hoople frontman had his biggest solo success with this tale of the “education” of a groupie. Terrific sleazy rock. And let’s expunge that Great White cover from the record, shall we? I still say their egotistic longing for past glories is what led to the Station tragedy.
27 - “Don’t Do it Baby,” Mac and Katie Kissoon
The Trinidadian-British brother/sister duo’s 1971 U.S, hit version of “Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep” was overshadowed by another take in theirt adopted homeland, but they would manage a handful of other hits here, including this please-don’t-leave pop tune. Nothing interesting about it.
26 - “Papa Oom Mow Mow,” The Sharonettes
Another white-bread Northern Soul cover by a band found by an opportunistic producer, this one of a 1962 number by The Rivingtons. This is a little better than Wigan’s Ovation, but still, I’m holding my applause.
25 - “Where is the Love,” Betty Wright
Miamian Wright is best known at home for her 1971 Top Ten “Clean Up Woman,” but her only Brit I hit was this disco-funk calling out of a man bot living up to his promises. Sublime, and maybe the best thing Harry Wayne Casey was ever involved with...
24 - “Get Down Tonight,” KC and the Sunshine Band
...but this one might be #2. The template of the Sunshine Band formula, and one that was never improved upon. I don’t know that Britain was wrong to deny it a Triple Crown, but it should have gotten a bit higher than #21 at least.
23 - “Sorry Doesn’t Always Make It Right,” Diana Ross
Miss Ross shines on this harmonica-accented ballad about lingering breakup pain. An underheard artistic high point by the Supreme diva.
22 - “The Way We Were/Try to Remember,” Gladys Knight and the Pips
This soul interpretation of Streisand’s Oscar-winning movie theme, with some Fantasticks thrown in for good measure, not only charted higher here than in the states, it outcharted Babs’ original. And I can’t say that’s wrong. This is GK just killing it.
21 - “Fox on the Run,” Sweet
The groupie ode was a Triple Top Five in its day, and returned to mainstream consciousness four decades later thanks to Guardians of the Galaxy. Speaking of which, I haven’t seen Infinity War yet. That’s right, I’m the one.
In Part Two: we will dine on soup, honey, and...wet dirt.
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
An Old Man Abroad: UKT40 April 27, 1985 Part Two
Finishing ‘85.
20 - “Feel So Real,” Steve Arrington
20 - “Feel So Real,” Steve Arrington
Ohioan Arrington mainly charted on the R&B list at home both solo and with the band Slave, but he picked up a Top Five here with this danceable love jam. Nice, and some of the lyrics could be seen as indicative of the religious conversion he would soon make, which would keep him out of secular music for a quarter-century.
19 - “Eye to Eye,” Chaka Khan
Chaka’s fifth and final non-remix U.K. hit was this jazz-funker about a dying relationship. Don’t worry Chaka, I still feel for you.
18 - “The Heat is On,” Glenn Frey
The Eagle’s biggest solo hit here was this totally 80s soundtrack product. Well, at least it didn’t even go Top Ten. Leaves me very cold.
17 - “Love is a Battlefield,” Pat Benatar
This was the highest Pat ever got here, and it came almost two years after this song was first released. That’s a big miss. This is among the best chick-rock moments ever.
16 - “Spend the Night,” Cool Notes
The biggest of two hits for these funksters was this booty call request. Average for the genre.
15 - “Life in a Northern Town,” Dream Academy
The biggest hit for this London trio only got this high here, but was a Top Ten in North America. We
were right. This is well-constructed pop beauty.
were right. This is well-constructed pop beauty.
14 - “Black Man Ray,” China Crisis
The third hit by the band from Kirkby was this midtempo number about uncertainty. I’m not sure who Ray is, and what he has to do with it. I’m thinking Ray Charles, but yes, yes, I could be wrong.
13 - “Easy Lover,” Philip Bailey and Phil Collins
The boisterous rock duet between the voices of Earth Wind and Fire and Genesis almost won a Triple Crown, but America held it to #2. It deserved the headgear. This is just catchy, perfect 80s mainstream rock.
12 - “Welcome to the Pleasuredome,” Frankie Goes to Hollywood
After three straight #1s out of the gate, the Frankies fell one place short with single number four, a song that is either a celebration or a condemnation of excessive lifestyles. It’s arresting either way, and you know there was a lot of cheekiness in their choice to replace the word “decree” from the Samuel Taylor Coleridge poem with “erect.”
11 - “Lover Come Back to Me,” Dead or Alive
The follow-up to the #1 “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record),” is more earwormy Stock/Aitken/Waterman dance-pop. I kind of wish the SAW boys would have put together a duet between Pete Burns and Kylie Minogue. That would have had epic potential.
What do you hear, Top Ten or Taurel Tanny?
What do you hear, Top Ten or Taurel Tanny?
10 - “Look Mama,” Howard Jones
HoJo’s sixth and final home Top Ten was this about an adult trying to convince his mother to cut the proverbial apron strings. It wasn’t released as a single in North America, and even though Imlike it quite a bit, I think that was the right call.
9 - “We Close Our Eyes,” Go West
The first and biggest domestic hit for the London duo was this big-heated dance track about seizing the day and not avoiding risk. To me, it’s the crown jewel of the white British synthfunk sub genre.
8 - “Don’t You (Forget About Me),” Simple Minds
Britain blocked the Breakfast Club smash from a Triple Crown, but it did at least make it the Minds’ first Top Ten, so they only just avoid detention in the library.
7 - “I Feel Love (Medley),” Bronski Beat and Marc Almond
The disco/new wave trio teamed up with Almond, who had recently departed Soft Cell, on a mashup of two Donna Summer classics, the title song and “Love to Love You Baby.” Nothing groundbreaking here, but the liberated energy of Almond and Jimmy Somerville’s vocal performances give it enough of a kick to make it special.
The disco/new wave trio teamed up with Almond, who had recently departed Soft Cell, on a mashup of two Donna Summer classics, the title song and “Love to Love You Baby.” Nothing groundbreaking here, but the liberated energy of Almond and Jimmy Somerville’s vocal performances give it enough of a kick to make it special.
6 - “Clouds Across the Moon,” RAH Band
The second of two Top Tens for Richard Anthony Hewson was this jazzy number on which his wife Liz makes an intergalactic phone call to her husband, who is fighting some sort of war on Mars. As sci-fi pop goes, it’s more tongue-in-cheek than, say, “Silent Running,” but maybe that’s why I like it more.
5 - “Could it be I’m Falling in Love,” David Grant and Jaki Graham
The British duo had the biggest of their two duet hits with this cover of a 1972 Spinners classic. They sing it well, but it’s just not distinct enough to matter.
4 - “One More Night,” Phil Collins
For the second time this week, Britain denies Phil a Triple Crown, only letting this soul ballad get this high. It’s a professional job, for all the good and bad that implies.
3 - “Move Closer,” Phyllis Nelson
Jacksonville, Florida’s Nelson had only one major moment of success, but it did involve this sultry sex ballad topping the charts here. It’s very effective for its intended purposes, shall we say.
2 - “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” Tears for Fears
Another U.K. act denied a Triple Crown by the homeland. I guess it’s true, you can’t always get what you want.
1 - “We Are the World,” USA for Africa
Not surprisingly, the American reaction to “Do They Know It’s Christmas” was a Triple Crown winner, and topped charts in at least fourteen other countries. Not among those were Austria and Germany, where it only got to #2. No, I don’t know what, if anything, that says. It’s just a fact I discovered.
It’ll be Britain again next time, but the tournament will resume soon. Stay tuned and good day.
It’ll be Britain again next time, but the tournament will resume soon. Stay tuned and good day.
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
An Old Man Abroad: UKT40 April 27, 1985 Part One
Spring 1985. Egyptian Mohamed Al-Fayed buys the iconic London department store Herrod’s. This wouldn’t be the last time his family would be involved in a highly symbolic British institution. Meanwhile, on the chart...
40 - “Kiss Me,” Stephen “Tin Tin” Duffy
From Birmingham, Duffy was a co-founder of Duran Duran, but he left before they signed their record deal. His biggest success came with the third version of this song, a piece of evocative synthpop about love and longing. Depending on personal taste, it may or may not be better than wine.
39 - “I Want Your Lovin’,” Curtis Hairston
The biggest success for North Carolinian Hairston was this bit of loneliness breakbeat funk. Decent, but not outstanding.
38- “Do What You Do,” Jermaine Jackson
The #2 Jackson brother had his biggest hit here with this let’s-go-back-to-how-we-used-to-be ballad. Good, but in that family, good is disappointing.
37 - “Cry,” Godley and Creme
The third and most famous hit by the 10cc refugees-turned-video directors. The video was groundbreaking, but don’t let that detract from the greatness of the song itself.
36 - “No Rest,” New Model Army
These outspoken Bradford rockers have had a handful of singles crack the bottom half of the Top 40, the first being this tune that wonders if the wicked ever stop to comtemplate their actions. 80s indie with a message, but it doesn’t outright preach, so it works.
35 - “Super Gran,” Billy Connolly
Glaswegian Connolly has had a long and successful career as a stand-up comedian, but he has also dented the pop charts on a few occasions, including this theme song to a children’s sitcom about an elderly Scotswoman who develops extraordinary powers. The lyrics proclaim her superiority to, among others, Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, The A-Team’s B.A. Baracus, Sylvester Stallone, Wonder Woman, and Charlie’s Angels. Irresistibly dumb fun, and a cinch Uneasy Rider. Oh, and I will proclaim until my dying day that Connolly should have played Hagrid.
34 - “Rhythm of the Night,” DeBarge
A triple Top Five from Motown’s top 80s family. It just sounds....lacking to me.
33 - “Won’t You Hold My Hand Now,” King
The second of five hits for these Coventry New Wavers was this song that compares love to playing cards and talks about parking fines for some reason. A decent genre piece.
32 - “Hangin’ on a String (Contemplating),” Loose Ends
Not only was this funk groove the biggest home hit for these Londoners, it also made them the first British group to have a #1 R&B hit in the U.S. I find it more than worthy.
31 - “Would I Lie to You,” Eurythmics
Top Five in North America, but only #17 here. That may not seem right, but think about it, would I say something that wasn’t true.
30 - “Grimly Fiendish,” The Damned
The third hit for the punks-turned-goths was this song inspired by a cartoon villain. Suitably faux-menacing. I wish a Canadian band would write a song about Snidely Whiplash. For all I know, one has.
29 - “Wide Boy,” Nik Kershaw
The sixth hit for this Bristol rocker is poppy fluff about a guy who finds fame despite his lack of talent. Don’t worry Nik, I don’t feel that way about you.
28 - “That Was Yesterday,” Foreigner
This was the last of a mere five hits for these half-Brits. And it wasn’t among their best work.
27 - “Stainsby Girls,” Chris Rea
Rea’s long-coming second Top 40 was this reminiscence of falling in love with the type of girl you don’t bring home to Mum, so to speak. Judging by this, he had more to offer than just “Fool if You Think it’s Over.”
26 - “Pie Jesu,” Sarah Brightman and Paul Miles-Kingston
Brightman’s first hit in her faux-classical diva persona was this duet with 13-year-old male soprano Miles-Kingston on a section of the Catholic Requiem Mass. I guess they did okay, but why anyone would want to hear this outside of a funeral is beyond me.
25 - “Everytime You Go Away,” Paul Young
Only Paul’s countrymen kept this from a Triple Crown. Were they resentful that he took pieces of the, when he had success across the pond.
24 - “That Ole Devil Called Love,” Alison Moyet
The fourth and biggest hit for the ex-Yazoo front woman was this straight jazz-blues cover of a 1944 song first recorded by Billie Holiday. Moyet isn’t Billie by any stretch, but her voice is a different kind of smoke, and it’s mighty flavourful.
23 - “I Was Born to Love You,” Freddie Mercury
Freddie’s second solo hit sees him taking a shot at unleashing his inner disco diva. And of course, he’s a natural. Nobody puts Freddie in a corner. He’ll strut his way out, and woe to he who stands in his way. God bless him.
22 - “So Far Away,” Dire Straits
The least successful Brothers in Arms single. I think it’s better than “Walk of Life,”though.
21 - “Can’t Fight This Feeling,” REO Speedwagon
Yeah, we made this shit power ballad a double #1 on this side of the pond. Here, it was just Top Twenty. Cheers for fighting that feeling, mates.
In Part Two: Look-don’t look! Run the world-be the world! And feel the love, but not too much.
40 - “Kiss Me,” Stephen “Tin Tin” Duffy
From Birmingham, Duffy was a co-founder of Duran Duran, but he left before they signed their record deal. His biggest success came with the third version of this song, a piece of evocative synthpop about love and longing. Depending on personal taste, it may or may not be better than wine.
39 - “I Want Your Lovin’,” Curtis Hairston
The biggest success for North Carolinian Hairston was this bit of loneliness breakbeat funk. Decent, but not outstanding.
38- “Do What You Do,” Jermaine Jackson
The #2 Jackson brother had his biggest hit here with this let’s-go-back-to-how-we-used-to-be ballad. Good, but in that family, good is disappointing.
37 - “Cry,” Godley and Creme
The third and most famous hit by the 10cc refugees-turned-video directors. The video was groundbreaking, but don’t let that detract from the greatness of the song itself.
36 - “No Rest,” New Model Army
These outspoken Bradford rockers have had a handful of singles crack the bottom half of the Top 40, the first being this tune that wonders if the wicked ever stop to comtemplate their actions. 80s indie with a message, but it doesn’t outright preach, so it works.
35 - “Super Gran,” Billy Connolly
Glaswegian Connolly has had a long and successful career as a stand-up comedian, but he has also dented the pop charts on a few occasions, including this theme song to a children’s sitcom about an elderly Scotswoman who develops extraordinary powers. The lyrics proclaim her superiority to, among others, Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, The A-Team’s B.A. Baracus, Sylvester Stallone, Wonder Woman, and Charlie’s Angels. Irresistibly dumb fun, and a cinch Uneasy Rider. Oh, and I will proclaim until my dying day that Connolly should have played Hagrid.
34 - “Rhythm of the Night,” DeBarge
A triple Top Five from Motown’s top 80s family. It just sounds....lacking to me.
33 - “Won’t You Hold My Hand Now,” King
The second of five hits for these Coventry New Wavers was this song that compares love to playing cards and talks about parking fines for some reason. A decent genre piece.
32 - “Hangin’ on a String (Contemplating),” Loose Ends
Not only was this funk groove the biggest home hit for these Londoners, it also made them the first British group to have a #1 R&B hit in the U.S. I find it more than worthy.
31 - “Would I Lie to You,” Eurythmics
Top Five in North America, but only #17 here. That may not seem right, but think about it, would I say something that wasn’t true.
30 - “Grimly Fiendish,” The Damned
The third hit for the punks-turned-goths was this song inspired by a cartoon villain. Suitably faux-menacing. I wish a Canadian band would write a song about Snidely Whiplash. For all I know, one has.
29 - “Wide Boy,” Nik Kershaw
The sixth hit for this Bristol rocker is poppy fluff about a guy who finds fame despite his lack of talent. Don’t worry Nik, I don’t feel that way about you.
28 - “That Was Yesterday,” Foreigner
This was the last of a mere five hits for these half-Brits. And it wasn’t among their best work.
27 - “Stainsby Girls,” Chris Rea
Rea’s long-coming second Top 40 was this reminiscence of falling in love with the type of girl you don’t bring home to Mum, so to speak. Judging by this, he had more to offer than just “Fool if You Think it’s Over.”
26 - “Pie Jesu,” Sarah Brightman and Paul Miles-Kingston
Brightman’s first hit in her faux-classical diva persona was this duet with 13-year-old male soprano Miles-Kingston on a section of the Catholic Requiem Mass. I guess they did okay, but why anyone would want to hear this outside of a funeral is beyond me.
25 - “Everytime You Go Away,” Paul Young
Only Paul’s countrymen kept this from a Triple Crown. Were they resentful that he took pieces of the, when he had success across the pond.
24 - “That Ole Devil Called Love,” Alison Moyet
The fourth and biggest hit for the ex-Yazoo front woman was this straight jazz-blues cover of a 1944 song first recorded by Billie Holiday. Moyet isn’t Billie by any stretch, but her voice is a different kind of smoke, and it’s mighty flavourful.
23 - “I Was Born to Love You,” Freddie Mercury
Freddie’s second solo hit sees him taking a shot at unleashing his inner disco diva. And of course, he’s a natural. Nobody puts Freddie in a corner. He’ll strut his way out, and woe to he who stands in his way. God bless him.
22 - “So Far Away,” Dire Straits
The least successful Brothers in Arms single. I think it’s better than “Walk of Life,”though.
21 - “Can’t Fight This Feeling,” REO Speedwagon
Yeah, we made this shit power ballad a double #1 on this side of the pond. Here, it was just Top Twenty. Cheers for fighting that feeling, mates.
In Part Two: Look-don’t look! Run the world-be the world! And feel the love, but not too much.
Thursday, May 3, 2018
...And As Years Go By: CT50 April 4, 1987
Spring 1987 in Canada. Vancouver wheelchair athlete Rick Hansen was wrapping up his two year Man in Motion World Tour, which inspired millions, and also that cheesy song from St.Elmo’s Fire. Was the music he was coming home to any better? Let’s see.
Bonus Track: 51- “Flying on Your Own,” Rita MacNeil (CanCon!)
Born in 1944 in Big Pond, Nova Scotia, MacNeil didn’t begin her music career until her late 20s, and even then her career was inhibited by people unwilling to look past her weight and her cleft lip. But eventually, her talent got her noticed, and she broke through with her fourth album and its title track, this anthemic ballad encouraging women to let go of heartbreak and make their own way in the world. Her voice really stands out as a unique and inspiring instrument. From here, she wasn’t much of a presence in the charts, but she became less of a pop star than a well-loved national institution until her death in 2013.
49 - “Should I See,” Frozen Ghost (CanCon!)
The first hit by this Toronto band (and the only one to chart in America, peaking at #69) was this anti-censorship pop-rocker. Timely then, as the Tipper Gore/Parental Advisory controversy was still fresh. And timely now, for different reasons.
46 - “Nothing Can Stand in Your Way,” Zappacosta (CanCon!)
Italian-born Torontonian Alfredo Zappacosta had a handful of CanCon-powered radio hits, among them this mediocre power ballad about being okay with a lover finding a better life without him. I just never thought anything he did was as awesome as his name.
44 - “Make a Move On Me,” Veronique (CanCon!)
The lone Anglo hit for Quebec star Veronique Beliveau was this standard issue dance rocker. Best I can say is that it’s no better or worse than any of Taylor Dayne’s stuff.
41 -“Ain’t No Cure for Love,” Jennifer Warnes (CanCon!)
Beyond being the nondescript female voice on hit duets with Joe Cocker and Bill Medley, Warnes was a good friend of enigmatic Montreal singer/poet Leonard Cohen, and in 1986 she recorded an album of Cohen songs called Famous Blue Raincoat, which included two new Cohen compositions (both of which he would release himself the next year on the I’m Your Man album). One of these was this relatively straightforward love song about addictive affection. Yes, I still prefer Cohen’s material delivered by the man himself, but I must say both artists serve each other well here.
40 - “I’m an Adult Now,” The Pursuit of Happiness (CanCon!)
This Toronto band, fronted by Edmonton transplant Moe Berg, burst on top the scene with this independently-released single. It’s a catchy hard-rocker on which Berg laments that all aspects of his life are worse than they were in his youth, from responsibility (“I can sleep in till noon anytime I want, but there’s not many days that I do.”) to sex (“Adult sex is either boring or dirty. Young people can get away with murder.”) to drugs (“I’d sure look like a fool dead in a ditch somewhere with a mind full of chemicals like some cheese-eating high school boy.”). The band continued for the next decade with this mix of crunchy guitar, sweet harmonies, and Berg’s wry observations of life, love and lust, and they would be hooked up with big labels and big producers, but somehow they never made it past the level of high-end national-level bar band. Which is a damn shame, but on the upside, it meant I got to see them on several occasions at very little cost. Really, look them up. They’re fantastic.
39 - “Dancin’ With My Mirror,” Corey Hart (CanCon!)
The Montrealer’s dozenth home hit was this rock tune about how the titular activity makes him feel less lonely. Whatever works, I guess. My only question would be, sunglasses on or off?
37 - “Moonlight Desires,” Gowan (CanCon!)
Born in Glasgow but raised in Cayuga, Ontario, Lawrence Gowan broke through in the mid-80s, and by this time he had picked up enough cachet that Yes vocalist Jon Anderson agreed to perform backing vocals on this song about nightly passions. It’s very good, but there is more interesting stuff in his body of work that I’ll hopefully get to. Especially “A Criminal Mind.” Oh, and also, Gowan has been Dennis DeYoung’s replacement in Styx since 1999. Good for him. And them.
36 - “Holiday Rap,”MC Miker G and DJ Sven
The Dutch tandem of Lucien Witteveen and Sven van Veen had an international smash by rhyming inconsequentially over Madonna’s first hit and adding a rendition of the chorus of Cliff Richard’s “Summer Holiday.” It’s dumbly charming, and Miker G’s beatboxing isn’t bad. But I don’t think it’s a stain on America that they ignored this while we and the U.K. put it in the Top Ten.
33 - “Just One Night,” Triumph (CanCon!)
One of the last hits for this Toronto trio was this unremarkable power ballad whose composers included Journey’s Neal Schoen and future Mr. Big singer Eric Martin. They sounded like a spent force, and soon, singer Rik Emmett would leave.
29 - “Kiss You (When It’s Dangerous),” Eight Seconds (CanCon!)
The biggest hit for these Ottawa synthpoppers was this midtempo number about how the singer will only kiss his lover when she doesn’t want him to or when the circumstances are otherwise less than ideal. Um, that’s creepy, not sexy. You’d hope now we’d know the difference.
28 - “Dirty Water,” Rock and Hyde (CanCon!)
After years of struggling to break America with the negatively-received name Payolas, singer Paul Hyde and guitarist Bob Rock decided to rename their group after their surnames. The result was their biggest domestic hit in four years, and their highest charter in the U.S., even if it was only #61. The song is peppy synth-rock about someone who doesn’t care about you as much as they claim to. It’s not quite the Certified CanCon Classic that 1982’s “Eyes of a Stranger” is, but it’s a good barometer of what they were capable of.
25 - “Easy to Tame,” Kim Mitchell (CanCon!)
The king of what I call “cottage rock” had his fourth hit with this ditty about how a relationships can change when one party starts asserting more independence. I think that’s it. I’ve grown to appreciate this guy more as years have gone by. He was still better in Max Webster, but he did very good work alone.
19 - “Wild Horses,” Gino Vannelli (CanCon!)
The Montreal man’s third and last Top Ten was this sultry declaration of the depth of his attraction. He’s more convincingly sexy than I thought he could be here. I’m starting to see him as an underrated talent.
Top Ten don’t take no mess.
10 - “Will You Still Love Me,” Chicago
Were they asking this because of the firing of Peter Cetera. If so, I had stopped loving both of them by this time, so their was no “still” about it. They were long gone.
9 - “At This Moment,” Billy Vera and the Beaters
The impassioned ballad that soundtracked a Family Ties romance six years after it first came out went to the top here and in the States, but only got to #32 in Britain. What did you think, it would win a Triple Crown?
8 - “Lean on Me,” Club Nouveau
The funk cover of Bill Withers’ devotional was also denied a Triple Crown by the Brits, but it did at least get to #3 there. Besides, if they leaned with all their might too, these guys might have collapsed.
7 - “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party),” The Beastie Boys
The double-bracketed classic by the bratty New Yorkers. And to this day, moms are jealous of their noise.
6 - “Montego Bay,” Amazulu
This British ska-pop group picked up a surprise hit here with a bouncy cover of Bobby Bloom’s 1970 ode to Jamaica. I heard this version first, and I still like it better.
5 - “The Final Countdown,” Europe
You just can never get tired of that synth fanfare, can you? I’m sure you just got an adrenaline rush thinking about it, right? Who’d have believed that the ideal song to herald the apocalypse would come from Swedish hair farmers?
4 - “Touch Me (I Want Your Body),” Samantha Fox
So of the Big Three, only we made the Page 3 model-turned-pop star’s debut single a Number One. Apparently, she touched us.
3 - “Livin’ on a Prayer,” Bon Jovi
Another Can-Am #1 held back by Britain, who pushed it to #4. Well, at least they can say they were more than two-thirds there. That’s farther than they thought.
2 - “Somewhere Out There,” Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
The duet from the Spielberg cartoon about immigrant mice was a cross-border #2. It did a lot for people other than me. And that’s okay.
And at #1 21years ago was...
1 - “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” Starship
I don’t have any more bile left to spew for this Triple Crown winner. All I can add is that the Mannequin herself was played by Canada’s own Kim Cattrall. This was in between her roles in Porky’s and Sex and the City. In both those cases, she could not be accused of being motionless at all. And you could really say that nothing stopped her.
I’m backed up a bit, so next time it’s a return to Britain. See you then.
Bonus Track: 51- “Flying on Your Own,” Rita MacNeil (CanCon!)
Born in 1944 in Big Pond, Nova Scotia, MacNeil didn’t begin her music career until her late 20s, and even then her career was inhibited by people unwilling to look past her weight and her cleft lip. But eventually, her talent got her noticed, and she broke through with her fourth album and its title track, this anthemic ballad encouraging women to let go of heartbreak and make their own way in the world. Her voice really stands out as a unique and inspiring instrument. From here, she wasn’t much of a presence in the charts, but she became less of a pop star than a well-loved national institution until her death in 2013.
49 - “Should I See,” Frozen Ghost (CanCon!)
The first hit by this Toronto band (and the only one to chart in America, peaking at #69) was this anti-censorship pop-rocker. Timely then, as the Tipper Gore/Parental Advisory controversy was still fresh. And timely now, for different reasons.
46 - “Nothing Can Stand in Your Way,” Zappacosta (CanCon!)
Italian-born Torontonian Alfredo Zappacosta had a handful of CanCon-powered radio hits, among them this mediocre power ballad about being okay with a lover finding a better life without him. I just never thought anything he did was as awesome as his name.
44 - “Make a Move On Me,” Veronique (CanCon!)
The lone Anglo hit for Quebec star Veronique Beliveau was this standard issue dance rocker. Best I can say is that it’s no better or worse than any of Taylor Dayne’s stuff.
41 -“Ain’t No Cure for Love,” Jennifer Warnes (CanCon!)
Beyond being the nondescript female voice on hit duets with Joe Cocker and Bill Medley, Warnes was a good friend of enigmatic Montreal singer/poet Leonard Cohen, and in 1986 she recorded an album of Cohen songs called Famous Blue Raincoat, which included two new Cohen compositions (both of which he would release himself the next year on the I’m Your Man album). One of these was this relatively straightforward love song about addictive affection. Yes, I still prefer Cohen’s material delivered by the man himself, but I must say both artists serve each other well here.
40 - “I’m an Adult Now,” The Pursuit of Happiness (CanCon!)
This Toronto band, fronted by Edmonton transplant Moe Berg, burst on top the scene with this independently-released single. It’s a catchy hard-rocker on which Berg laments that all aspects of his life are worse than they were in his youth, from responsibility (“I can sleep in till noon anytime I want, but there’s not many days that I do.”) to sex (“Adult sex is either boring or dirty. Young people can get away with murder.”) to drugs (“I’d sure look like a fool dead in a ditch somewhere with a mind full of chemicals like some cheese-eating high school boy.”). The band continued for the next decade with this mix of crunchy guitar, sweet harmonies, and Berg’s wry observations of life, love and lust, and they would be hooked up with big labels and big producers, but somehow they never made it past the level of high-end national-level bar band. Which is a damn shame, but on the upside, it meant I got to see them on several occasions at very little cost. Really, look them up. They’re fantastic.
39 - “Dancin’ With My Mirror,” Corey Hart (CanCon!)
The Montrealer’s dozenth home hit was this rock tune about how the titular activity makes him feel less lonely. Whatever works, I guess. My only question would be, sunglasses on or off?
37 - “Moonlight Desires,” Gowan (CanCon!)
Born in Glasgow but raised in Cayuga, Ontario, Lawrence Gowan broke through in the mid-80s, and by this time he had picked up enough cachet that Yes vocalist Jon Anderson agreed to perform backing vocals on this song about nightly passions. It’s very good, but there is more interesting stuff in his body of work that I’ll hopefully get to. Especially “A Criminal Mind.” Oh, and also, Gowan has been Dennis DeYoung’s replacement in Styx since 1999. Good for him. And them.
36 - “Holiday Rap,”MC Miker G and DJ Sven
The Dutch tandem of Lucien Witteveen and Sven van Veen had an international smash by rhyming inconsequentially over Madonna’s first hit and adding a rendition of the chorus of Cliff Richard’s “Summer Holiday.” It’s dumbly charming, and Miker G’s beatboxing isn’t bad. But I don’t think it’s a stain on America that they ignored this while we and the U.K. put it in the Top Ten.
33 - “Just One Night,” Triumph (CanCon!)
One of the last hits for this Toronto trio was this unremarkable power ballad whose composers included Journey’s Neal Schoen and future Mr. Big singer Eric Martin. They sounded like a spent force, and soon, singer Rik Emmett would leave.
29 - “Kiss You (When It’s Dangerous),” Eight Seconds (CanCon!)
The biggest hit for these Ottawa synthpoppers was this midtempo number about how the singer will only kiss his lover when she doesn’t want him to or when the circumstances are otherwise less than ideal. Um, that’s creepy, not sexy. You’d hope now we’d know the difference.
28 - “Dirty Water,” Rock and Hyde (CanCon!)
After years of struggling to break America with the negatively-received name Payolas, singer Paul Hyde and guitarist Bob Rock decided to rename their group after their surnames. The result was their biggest domestic hit in four years, and their highest charter in the U.S., even if it was only #61. The song is peppy synth-rock about someone who doesn’t care about you as much as they claim to. It’s not quite the Certified CanCon Classic that 1982’s “Eyes of a Stranger” is, but it’s a good barometer of what they were capable of.
25 - “Easy to Tame,” Kim Mitchell (CanCon!)
The king of what I call “cottage rock” had his fourth hit with this ditty about how a relationships can change when one party starts asserting more independence. I think that’s it. I’ve grown to appreciate this guy more as years have gone by. He was still better in Max Webster, but he did very good work alone.
19 - “Wild Horses,” Gino Vannelli (CanCon!)
The Montreal man’s third and last Top Ten was this sultry declaration of the depth of his attraction. He’s more convincingly sexy than I thought he could be here. I’m starting to see him as an underrated talent.
Top Ten don’t take no mess.
10 - “Will You Still Love Me,” Chicago
Were they asking this because of the firing of Peter Cetera. If so, I had stopped loving both of them by this time, so their was no “still” about it. They were long gone.
9 - “At This Moment,” Billy Vera and the Beaters
The impassioned ballad that soundtracked a Family Ties romance six years after it first came out went to the top here and in the States, but only got to #32 in Britain. What did you think, it would win a Triple Crown?
8 - “Lean on Me,” Club Nouveau
The funk cover of Bill Withers’ devotional was also denied a Triple Crown by the Brits, but it did at least get to #3 there. Besides, if they leaned with all their might too, these guys might have collapsed.
7 - “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party),” The Beastie Boys
The double-bracketed classic by the bratty New Yorkers. And to this day, moms are jealous of their noise.
6 - “Montego Bay,” Amazulu
This British ska-pop group picked up a surprise hit here with a bouncy cover of Bobby Bloom’s 1970 ode to Jamaica. I heard this version first, and I still like it better.
5 - “The Final Countdown,” Europe
You just can never get tired of that synth fanfare, can you? I’m sure you just got an adrenaline rush thinking about it, right? Who’d have believed that the ideal song to herald the apocalypse would come from Swedish hair farmers?
4 - “Touch Me (I Want Your Body),” Samantha Fox
So of the Big Three, only we made the Page 3 model-turned-pop star’s debut single a Number One. Apparently, she touched us.
3 - “Livin’ on a Prayer,” Bon Jovi
Another Can-Am #1 held back by Britain, who pushed it to #4. Well, at least they can say they were more than two-thirds there. That’s farther than they thought.
2 - “Somewhere Out There,” Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
The duet from the Spielberg cartoon about immigrant mice was a cross-border #2. It did a lot for people other than me. And that’s okay.
And at #1 21years ago was...
1 - “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” Starship
I don’t have any more bile left to spew for this Triple Crown winner. All I can add is that the Mannequin herself was played by Canada’s own Kim Cattrall. This was in between her roles in Porky’s and Sex and the City. In both those cases, she could not be accused of being motionless at all. And you could really say that nothing stopped her.
I’m backed up a bit, so next time it’s a return to Britain. See you then.
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