October 1980. The Queen becomes the first British mornarch to visit the Vatican since Henry VIII decided to form his own church so he could get divorced. What's 450 years between friends? Meanwhile, the U.K.'s pop fans had married themselves to these tunes.
40 - "Eighth Day," Hazel O'Connor
Coventry singer-actress O'Connor scored her first and biggest hit with this song from the soundtrack of Breaking Glass, a film in which she starred as a rock vocalist trying to make it big while keeping her integrity. It's apocalyptic punk/new wave about humanity's inventions eventually destroying life and the planet, sung in a Lene Lovich-style wail. A cool little curiosity.
39 - "Paranoid," Black Sabbath
A tenth anniversary reissue of Sabbath's biggest and best-known hit, this metal classic about a mental breakdown. The beginning of the legend of Ozzy. Bat-biting, nu-metal festivals, and "Shaarrooonn!!" ensued.
38 - "Modern Girl," Sheena Easton
Her debut single. She liked tangerines and television, apparently. It still amazes me that she was the independent lady on this one and the devoted housewife on her very next release.
37 - "Dog Eat Dog," Adam and the Ants
Their first hit established their template; the Burundi beat, the lyrics about non-conformity, and Adam's sneery vocals. A solid start.
36 - "Why Do Lovers Break Each Other’s Hearts," Showaddywaddy
The retro specialists had their first hit of the decade with a cover of a song co-written by Phil Spector for Bob B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans. They did what they did, and it was slowly falling out of favour.
35 - "Let Me Talk," Earth Wind and Fire
The funk machine had another hit with this tune about the issues of the dawn of the decade, including inflation, nuclear disarmament, and reliance on Middle Eastern oil. The groove helps the medicine go down smooth.
34 - "I Need Your Lovin'," Teena Marie
The second and final Brit hit by the Rick James protégé. Still slick funk of the kind that made her an unlikely soul legend.
33 - "She's So Cold," The Rolling Stones
Their second hit of the decade was this burner about how fiery Mick gets around an ironically chilly lady. Should have been a bigger hit. My country did the best by it by pushing it to #11.
32 - "Party Lights," The Gap Band
The second hit here for the Tulsa funk ensemble is just a groove delivery system with bare-bones lyrics. Just dance and turn off the brain.
31- "It's Only Love," Elvis Presley
This reissue of a 1971 single made it all the way to #3. It's a big showy ballad that instantly makes you see the jumpsuit and the sideburns in your mind's eye. Vegas headliner Elvis all the way, no trace of the libidinous Middle America-threatened.
30 - "I Owe You One," Shalamar
Their third hit over here was this disco tune that compares love to a financial transaction. As long as it isn't actually one, it's all good.
29 - "What's in a Kiss," Gilbert O'Sullivan
After a five-year drought, old Gil managed a fourteenth and final hit with this typical trifle about love. This time he compares himself to a delicatessen. That's different. Otherwise, it's just the standard fluff.
28 - "I Got You," Split Enz
The Zealanders' only major hit here was this New Wave gem about romantic paranoia. It gets on my nerves that this wasn't a worldwide Top Five smash.
Sometimes I get frightened about how much this matters to me.
27 - "Feels Like I'm in Love," Kelly Marie
This song was originally written by Mungo Jerry leader Ray Dorset for Elvis, but after the King died, it wound up going to a Scottish newcomer born Jacqueline McKinnon, who took it to #1. It's decent enough disco, but nothing that would make you think a major star was emerging. And it wasn't, as she picked up just two more sub-Top 20s before fading into obscurity.
26 - "Army Dreamers," Kate Bush
Kate's sixth hit was another cool little oddity, a mournful waltz sung from the point of view of a mother who loses a son in a war. On the strength of her Kateness alone, she edges Hazel O'Connor for the Uneasy Rider.
25 - "Special Brew," Bad Manners
The first of two Top Fives for Buster Bloodvessel and his boys was this sweet little ska love song. "All I want is a barrel of you," he sings. Um...I guess he doesn't mean that in a creepy way...right?
24 - "All Out of Love," Air Supply
I am surprised to learn that this was the Aussie duo's only Top 40 here. Well, at least it was one of their better efforts.
23 - "Another One Bites the Dust," Queen
Another surprise: Britain kept this from the Triple Crown, only lifting it to #7. You'd think the combination of Freddie and funk would have been a top spot shoo-in. Funny old world, isn't it?
22 - "Stereotype," The Specials
The fifth Top Ten for the Coventry 2 Tone kings was this portrait of a young man who has a dead-end existence of drinking, shagging and fighting. Although one wonders if this is a cautionary tale or a criticism of mainstream society's view of the youth of the day, with the latter suggested by the title and the fact that the lyrics twice state of the protagonist "He doesn't really exist." One you have to think about, and I always appreciate that.
21 - "Love X Love," George Benson
The second British Top Ten for the jazz guitarist was this smoothie about affection multiplication. It's a very good example of the continuing influence of disco after it's supposed death. I'd still boogie along.
In Part Two: Deception! Murder! Insanity! Lust! And also birds.
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