September 1990. As she had been throughout the 80s, Margaret Thatcher was still Britain's Prime Minister. As she entered the fall, she might very well have felt she had quite a few more years in charge ahead of her. Talk of a recession and opposition in her own party to her approach to Europe were mere speed bumps that she would surely overcome as she had other obstacles. I'll let you look up for yourself if she was right. Meanwhile, these were the results of the weekly election known as the singles chart.
40 - "Groovy Train," The Farm
This Liverpool band formed in 1983, but it wasn't until 1990 when their dance-rock sound dovetailed with the Madchester phenomenon that they scored their first major hit with this chugging track about not being impressed with a girl who used to be cool but is now posh. I think that's it. It's okay, but it might sound better on Ecstasy. I'll never try, though.
39 - "Life's What You Make It," Talk Talk
A four-years-later reissue of the London band's biggest home hit, a minimally-lyriced New Wave hymn to focusing on the future. Simple and beautiful.
38 - " Sacrifice/Healing Hands," Elton John
The previous year, these songs, a gospellish pop tune about reaching out for help in crisis and a ballad about a married couple growing apart respectively, made the Top 20 individually in America. Released together here, they became his first solo #1 at home. They’re pretty good songs, but really Britain? Nothing in the past 20 years deserved it as much or more than this. Really?!
37 - "Release Me," Wilson Phillips
This MOR number about wanting a lover to let you go followed "Hold On," to become the Beach Boys/Mamas and the Papas legacy group's second charttopper. Here, it scraped into the Top 40 after its predecessor hit #6. Better judgment on this, Blighty. Besides, "Impulsive," is better than both of these by miles.
36 - "Rockin' Over the Beat," Technotronic
The fourth hit for the Belgian dance outfit best known for "Pump Up the Jam," is their usual groove with rapper Ya Kid K rhyming about beats and sounds and stuff. It was their thing, it had it's time, it's done.
35 - "LFO," LFO
Not to be confused with American boy band Lyte Funky Ones, this Leeds electronic group named themselves and their only major hit after the Lower Frequency Oscillator section of a synthesizer. It's your basic techno collection of bleeps and bloops, but there's something of a tune in there, so it's somewhat listenable in settings that aren't loud, crowded and sweaty.
34 - "Don't be a Fool," Loose Ends
The fourth hit for these Britfunkers was this track about making the most of life and not making bad decisions. It has a Soul II Soul vibe that I really like.
33 - "Look Me in the Heart," Tina Turner
Tina's first hit of the 90s was this midtempo number about trying to convince a lover that you're serious about a new start. Meh material sold by one of the greats.
32 - "Amanda," Craig McLachlan
This Aussie followed Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan on the Neighbours to pop stardom path. His second of four hits was this nondescript soft rock love song. He soon went back to acting. Wise choice.
31 - "Now You're Gone," Whitesnake
Their last non-reissued hit. Slick hair metal, and nothing more. The Tawny Kitaen years have aged horribly.
30 - "Heart Like a Wheel," Human League
Their 90s debut was this big-sounding synth number about dishonesty and bad stuff in the world. It doesn't come off as profound as it wants to be. They'd have a little commercial rebound later in the decade, but creatively, they were a spent force.
29 - "In My World," Anthrax
The Queens branch of thrash metal's Big 4 scored six hit singles in the U.K., the fourth being this loud and fast ode to being hardened to defend against a cruel unfeeling world. Standard material for the genre, but well delivered, and a 4.5 on the Headbangometer.
28 - "Tricky Disco," Tricky Disco
The London duo of Michael Wells and Lee Newman were known for most of their career as Greater Than One, but their first hit was under the name of the song. Bleeps, bloops, and manipulated voices. Another one that’s slightly better than average.
27 - "Come Together," Primal Scream
The Scots' second hit combined guitars, dance beats, a choir, and Bobby Gillespie's blessed out vocals. Perfect for the Madchester era, and it still has appeal beyond.
26 - "Hanky Panky," Madonna
Oh yes, the days when Madge was so untouchable that she could release a jazz song about having a spanking fetish and go Top Ten on both sides of the Atlantic. This may have been why she thought doing the Sex book was a good idea. "They want kinky? I'll show them kinky!" We never know the unintended consequences of our actions, do we?
25 - "Next to You," Aswad
This London reggae band, named for the Arabic word for "black," started in the 70s, but didn't break through until they hit #1 in 1988 with "Don't Turn Around," which would later be covered by Ace of Base. They had a handful of hits after that, and this was one of them. More pop than reggae, and not very memorable.
24 - "End of the World," Sonia
Ms. Evans sixth hit was this Stock Aitken Waterman cover of Skeeter Davis' 1962 heartbreak country classic. No. This was not to be shined up and turned into a mall ballad. Shame on all involved.
23 - "Rhythm of the Rain," Jason Donovan
Another Neighbours star, and another cover, this time of the Cascades' 1962 hit that employs the literary device of pathetic fallacy. This one's more pointless than offensive.
22 - "Silly Games," Lindy Layton featuring Janet Kay
Londoner Layton first gained attention singing lead on "Dub Be Good to Me," a #1 earlier this year for Norman Cook's group Beats International. Her first and biggest solo hit was this cover of Kay's 1979 #2 romantic reggae hit. Haven't heard the original, but I'll guess it's better than this uninspiring dance yawner.
21 - "Englishman in New York (The Ben Liebrand Mix)," Sting
The Stinger's first hit of this decade was a remix by Dutch DJ Liebrand of this wistful, jazzy rumination on being British in the Big Apple. I prefer the original, but this is hardly a desecration.
In Part Two: among the covers, remixes and movie songs, one genuine classic.
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