Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Bobby Goes Home: Canadian Top 50 August 9, 1986

1986.  This was the year Canada began negotiating a free trade agreement with the United States.  One was worked out, and eventually it expanded to include Mexico and become NAFTA.  That's being renegotiated right now, although one of the participants seems a little too distracted at the moment  to be in the right frame of mind for such sensitive talks.  I'll let you guess which one.  Meanwhile, up here, these were some of the hits.

Bonus Track:  #51 - "April Fool," Chalk Circle (CanCon!)
So I've decided that for these I'm going to throw in a song that was outside the Top 50 but I still want to cover.  And I'm starting with the first and biggest hit for a band from Newcastle, Ontario.  It's alt-rock that might be about worshipping false gods.  It's not too clear.  But it's good, in a junior U2 kind of way.

50 - "Song in My Head," M+M (CanCon!)
This band began as Martha and the Muffins in 1978, and two years later they picked up a Top Five here and a Top Ten in the U.K. with "Echo Beach."  They continued on through the decade, eventually shortening their name, and here we find them with their fifth and final Top 50.  It's catchy dance-rock about getting over a loser ex.  Not their best, but still a worthy hit, not just a quota-filler.

48 - "Say It, Say It," E.G. Daily
Born Elizabeth Guttman in Los Angeles, singer-actress Daily first got attention for playing Dottie, the love interest of the titular man-child in the 1985 film Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.  A year later she peaked in the 60s at home and the 40s here with this Madonna-esque dance pop tune encouraging a lover to make his feelings known.  Okay, but not distinctive.  No more hits followed, but in the next decade she found her greatest success doing voice work for cartoons.  You may have heard her as Tommy on Rugrats, or as Buttercup on The Powerpuff Girls.  She even tried to relaunch her music career in 2013 by competing on The Voice, but she lost in a knockout round.  I'm not sure why that happened, but maybe it's something I wouldn't understand.  Something I couldn't understand.  Something I shouldn't understand.

47 - "Bad Bad Boy," Haywire (CanCon!)
Almost certainly the biggest band to come from tiny Prince Edward Island, these guys had their first of five hits with this rock sex plea.  Not much.

39 - "Anything for Love," Gordon Lightfoot (CanCon!)
Gord's biggest hit of the decade is this love song that is overwhelmed by David Foster's production.  You could place Leonard Cohen in a bed of synths and drum machineset and it worked, because that voice sounded alien in any setting.  But Gord soundsounds like he walked in the wrong studio and they wouldn't let him out.

33 - "The Thin Red Line," Glass Tiger (CanCon!)
The Newmarket pop band had three hits in the U.S. from their debut album, but the title track only hit at home.  Not surprising, because it's about a Crimean war battle involving Scottish soldiers.  But I like it, because it's by far the most interesting thing they ever did.  And the subject matter wins it an Uneasy Rider.

32 - "Boy Inside the Man," Tom Cochrane and Red Rider (CanCon!)
Before going solo and hitting with "Life is a Highway," Cochrane led the band Red Rider, and hinted at his future breakaway beginning with this single.  It's a solid pop-rocker about hanging on to youthful dreams and enthusiasm.  Less prog than what had come before, but that's not to say that the new direction was necessarily better.

31 - "What Does it Take," Honeymoon Suite (CanCon!)
The Niagara Falls band's fourth Top 50 was this better-than-most power ballad.  It fell a little short of following its predecessor "Feel it Again," into the Top 40 in America.  Too bad.

28 - "How Many (Rivers to Cross)," Luba (CanCon!)
A Montrealer of Ukrainian descent, Lubomyra Kowalchyk was a consistent CanCon performer, picking up eight hits between 1983 and 1990.  The fourth was this pop-soul number about perseverance.  Her exceptionally strong voice carried her a long way, but not beyond our borders, unfortunately.

22 -"Suspicious Minds," Fine Young Cannibals
They didn't break America until three years later, but these guys did hit here with both their first U.K. Top 40s, including this cover of Elvis' 1969 comeback hit.  Not a huge departure from the original, but distinguished by Roland Gift's soulful delivery, as well as the backing falsetto of Jimmy Somerville, whose hits with Bronski Beat and the Communards we will encounter at some point.

20 - "Theme from Peter Gunn," The Art of Noise featuring Duane Eddy
The London electronic group had one of their biggest hits with a cover of Henry Mancini's theme to a late-50s U.S. TV detective series.  The twangy guitar is provided by rockabilly pioneer Eddy, who had a hit with the song himself over a quarter century earlier.  It all adds up to greatness.

19 - "Patio Lanterns," Kim Mitchell (CanCon!)
The pride of Sarnia, Ontario, Joseph Mitchell has gone by his middle name throughout his career, which began in the seventies with the band Max Webster and continued after the group's breakup in 1981.  His second major pop hit was this midtempo number about summer nights at teenage parties.  It perfectly captures the atmosphere of young people nervously approaching each other romantically.  I am going to name this as the first entry on my Official Glovehead Registry of CanConClassiscs.

17 - "The Best of Me," David Foster and Olivia Newthon-John (CanCon!)
Before Cliff Richard hit with it in Britain, the song's composer teamed up with ONJ on a version of his own.  Still goop, but I always like hearing Olivia.  Foster, meanwhile, is a capable...producer.

Top Ten of spaghetti, all covered with cheese.

10 - "On My Own," Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald 
Still competent breakup balladry by a couple pros.  Only Britain kept it from a Triple Crown.

9 - "Invisible Touch," Genesis
The exact moment when the band became indistinguishable from Phil's solo stuff.

8 - "Danger Zone," Kenny Loggins 
Apparently this had not one but two chances to become at least partially CanCon, but both Bryan Adams and Corey Hart turned it down before it essentially defaulted to soundtrack king Loggins.  I think that was the best for all concerned.

7 - "Love Touch," Rod Stewart 
Oohyagonnagetta, oohyagonnagetta big thumbs down, Rod.  This is horrendous.

6 - "Glory of Love," Peter Cetera 
Pete decides that he can do a more overwrought ballad on his own than "If You Leave Me Now" and succeeds spectacularly.  There's no glory in that.

5 - "Who's Johnny," El Debarge 
Four movie hits in a row, ending with The Debarge's song about a robot who falls in love with Ally Sheedy.  The 80s, ladies and gentlemen.

4 - "I Can't Wait," Nu Shooz
I could have.  This did nothing for me.  But my country made it a #1.  Why?

3 - "Sledgehammer," Peter Gabriel 
Only Britain prevented it from a Triple Crown.  Pity, that.

2 - "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off," Jermaine Stewart 
But we don't have to not take our clothes off, right?

And 31 years ago, Canada's charttopper was...
1 - "Papa Don't Preach," Madonna
This one did grab the Triple Crown. Timeless teen drama.

Back to England soon.  Ta.

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