And the rest.
20 - "Snoopy vs. The Red Baron," Hotshots
This band was actually The Cimarons, one of Britain's first reggae bands, but their only home success came with a different name and a cover of The Royal Guardsmen's first, non-Christmas tale of Charles Schulz's beagles airborne rivalry with Manfred von Richtofen. A fun little curio.
19 - "Born to Be With You," Dave Edmunds
Welshman Edmunds had his third solo Top Ten with this cover of a 1956 Chordettes hit. Coolly twangy.
18 - "You Can Do Magic," Limmie and Family Cookin'
From Canton, Ohio, Limmie Snell and sisters Martha and Jimmie had their main success in the U.K., with their first of three hits being this soul-pop tune about a lover with a seemingly supernatural power to mend a broken heart. Just great radio music.
17 - "Hypnosis," Mud
The glam rockers from Carsharlton had their second hit melding glam with tango on this song about being entranced by a lover. I like it a lot, and I'm not being a hypnotistic liar.
16 - "Pillow Talk," Sylvia
Ms. Robinson, you're trying to seduce us. And succeeding.
15 - "Skweeze Me Pleeze Me," Slade
Their fifth #1 is a sex boogie that is just them doing what they do very well, but it's a little off now hearing a line like "When a girl's meaning yes, she says no." Um, no. And by that I mean "no."
14 - "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting," Elton John
Just "alright?" Does that mean that other evenings might be considered "very good" or "excellent" for fisticuffs? If you ever read this, Sir Elton, please let me know.
13 - "Ying Tong Song," The Goons
The Goon Show was a popular 50s BBC Radio program that featured comedians Spike Milligan, Harry Secombe, and Peter Sellers. Its outrageousness and irreverence inspired The Beatles and Monty Python, among many others. The Goons also had a Top Ten hit in 1956 with this record, and it returned to those heights when it was reissued seventeen years later. It's a delightfully anarchic piece containing random bits of singing and sound effects, all built around the nonsensical refrain "Ying Tong yiddle-I-po." If you love Spike Jones, you'll love this as well. And how could it be anything other than an Uneasy Rider?
12 - "Gaye," Clifford T. Ward
A former schoolteacher, Worcestershire native Gaye had the biggest of his two hits with this drippy ballad. He sounds like a tired Roger Daltrey, and the lyrics are flowery tripe. Whatever the opposite of an undiscovered gem is, this is it.
11 - "Bad Bad Boy," Nazareth
The second of two Top Tens for the Scots rockers was this bluesy boast of gigolo prowess. Very good. Dan McCafferty's voice might be the missing link between Brian Johnson and Axl Rose, if that makes any sense.
10 - "Randy," Blue Mink
The last of seven hits for this glam pop group was this ode to an idealistic, apolitical musician. Not sure if it was based on anyone. This is good enough to make me look forward to keeping this up long enough to hear more from them.
9 - "Touch Me in the Morning," Diana Ross
A #1 at home, but only #9 here. I'm leaning Britain, but this grows on me with every listen.
8 - "Spanish Eyes," Al Martino
Philadelphia native Jasper Cini had been recording since the early 50s, and while he was a chart regular for most of that time in America, over here there was an 18-years Top 40 drought that ended with this release of a 1965 U.S. Top Twenty about pledging love to a blue-eyed Mexican girl. Decent crooner pop. I imagine this sudden rediscovery was spurred in part by his appearance in The Godfather the previous year. Getting slapped around by Marlon Brando was worth it, I suppose.
7 - "Yesterday Once More," The Carpenters
Karen and Richard never topped the charts here, but this was the first of two #2s. And it still shines. Shooby doo lang lang.
6 - "48 Crash," Suzi Quatro
Sooze's second hit was this song that may be a warning to men about what may happen when they have a midlife crisis. Or it may have just been thrown together when its composers boasted they could write a song about anything and someone challeneed them to pen one about the 1848 United States economic crisis. Though I'm not sure how either of these things could be described as a "silk sash bash." Whatever, it sounds great coming out of Suzi Q.
5 - "Life on Mars," David Bowie
His masterpiece. Originally written to the same French song Paul Anka adapted for "My Way," it turned into this absurdist ballad about the contrast between fantasy and reality. I think that's it, but really, I have no idea. And it doesn't matter. It's four minutes that grabs you, sucks you in, and takes you somewhere fascinating and enthralling. Only the very best music can do that.
4 - "Goin' Home," The Osmonds
The brothers' third Top Five here was this rocker about going to where you belong. Because it was from the Mormon-themed LP The Plan, they may have meant heaven. It's probably their most awkward attempt to rock.
3 - "Alright Alright Alright," Mungo Jerry
The fourth and final Top Five for the pride of Colpington was this ramshackle tune about trying to stay calm amid confusion. Fun, and less annoying than "In the Summertime."
2 - "Welcome Home," Peters and Lee
Lennie Peters and Dianne Lee teamed up in 1970 and wound up with three hits, including a #1 with their debut, this blah MOR reconciliation number. Peters sings lead, and sounds too much like Engelbert Humperdinck for me to like him. And to think he's Charlie Watts' uncle.
And on top 44 years ago was...
1 - "I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am)," Gary Glitter
Old Creepy had his first #1 with this song that's fun if you can forget what a scumbag he is. Nobody with any decency wants to be in your gang anymore, pal. Enjoy dying in prison.
Until next time, y'all
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