Finishing.
20 - "So You Win Again," Hot Chocolate
Their only Number One was this midtempo track about losing the game of love. I still think they had better songs, but this convinces me of its quality with every listen.
19 - "Peaches," The Stranglers
The punk pioneers' first hit was this lascivious, organ-driven strut about a man strolling along a beach looking at attractive women. An almost sinister analysis and/or deconstruction of the "male gaze."
18 - "OK," Rock Follies
Rock Follies was a musical TV drama that aired in 1976 and 1977. It focused on the lives of the members of a fictional all-female rock band. Naturally, soundtrack albums were released, and the second of these produced a Top Ten single in the former of this tune about notrying being as easy as target as one looks. The song itself, however, gives the opposite impression; the backing tracks is decent rock, but the lyrics and the vocals are pillowy soft. I'm intrigued by the show now, but more as camp than anything.
17 - "Fanfare for the Common Man," Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Keith, Greg and Carl had already been in successful band's when they united in 1970 form a prog rock band that are equally lauded as innovative pioneers and derided as pretentious navel-gazers. Their biggest U.K. hit epitomizes this. It's a synth-heavy adaptation of a composition by American composer Aaron Copland that in its full version clocks in at nine minutes, three times as long as the original. It's hard to find fault with it, because it achieves its goals. Whether you like what it does is the only question, and me, I like it. I'm not going to run out and explore their catalogue, though.
16 - "Spot the Pigeon EP," Genesis
Still in the early days of the post-Gabriel era, the band had its biggest hit to date with this three-song disc. "Match of the Day" is a jangly pop number about soccer, from the action on and off the field to the fans in the stands. Extensive, but not necessary. Sports songs are hard to do right. "Pigeons" is a song about the scourge of the titular birds and the actions taken to eradicated them, driven by an instrument called the "banjolele." Again, a strange subject that they don’t do much interesting with. And "Inside and Out" is an acoustic track about a man being released from prison after doing time for a rape he may not have committed. Not a great song, but clearly the best here. Although the synth noodling at the end I could have done without.
15 - "Too Hot to Handle," Heatwave
The funk band's second hit was this warning not to stand too close to a flaming groove. And this one would definitely burn.
14 - "Baby Don't Change Your Mind," Gladys Knight and the Pips
The last of their mere two Top Fives over here was this song about wanting your man to resist the temptation of an old flame. Their usual classy soul. Not one of their more familiar tunes in my neck of the woods, but right in the mix with their best,
13 - "Lido Shuffle," Boz Scaggs
The third of just four Brit hits for the big Boz man was soul-rocker about a gambler who doesn't know when to quit. Just a great 70s radio song.
12 - "Got to Give it Up Part I," Marvin Gaye
Marvin's very successful stab at disco was a #1 at home, but only #7 here. A rare whiff for GB. And yes, I feel Pharrell and Robin Thicke got what they deserved for ripping it off.
11 - "Good Morning Judge," 10cc
Over here, these guys are basically known only for "I'm Not in Love" and "The Things We Do for Love," but in their homeland they were much bigger, with eleven Top Tens and three Number Ones. This one's a funky little rock song about a repeat offender. Simple fun. I've started to dig deeper into these guys lately, and I have been well rewarded.
The world doesn't deserve you, Top Ten.
10 - "The Shuffle," Van McCoy
He may have only hit with "The Hustle" at home, but across the pond he found the Top Five again with this tune that's essentially "The Hustle" but with a different beat and even fewer vocals. Still worth a listen, though.
9 - "Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)," Joe Tex
The American soul star's only hit here was this novelty disco record. That's a bit sad. The U.K. often treats R&B artists better than America does. Not sure what made Joe an exception.
8 - "Telephone Line," Electric Light Orchestra
Jeff Lynne's unsuccessful phone call was a transatlantic Top Ten. And deservedly so. Probably the best job they ever did of conveying genuine emotion.
7 - "Halfway Down the Stairs," The Muppets
As popular as it was in America, The Muppet Show was even bigger in Britain, which is also where it was filmed during its entire run. The show even produced a hit single in the form of this adaptation of an A.A. Milne poem. Sung by Kermit the Frog's nephew Robin, its a wistful song about how you can feel as a child that you're watching the world go by and don't have to worry about controlling what goes on in it, I think that's it. Poignant, and its simple staging on the show is just moe evidence of Jim Henson's genius.
6 - "You're Moving Out Today," Carole Bayer Sager
In between writing the 60s hit "Groovy Kind of Love" and her 80s collaborations with Burt Bacharach, New Yorker Bayer Sager teamed up with Bette Midler on this bouncy piano number about kicking a lover to the curb for, among other reasons, coming on to the landlady, having a mangy cat, smoking "funny cigarettes," and possibly committing immoral acts with bread. More fun than I would have expected, and a surprise Uneasy Rider. Midler also recorded a version of this, and I will have to track that down sometime.
5 - "Evergreen (Love Theme from A Star is Born)," Barbra Streisand
Babs' movie smash. #1 in America, only #3 here. The Brits are back on track. This ain't much. She's lucky she was a star already.
4 - "God Saved the Queen," Sex Pistols
The Pistols had already been dropped by two major labels and had scandalized Britain with a profanity-filled talk show appearance when they finally scored a big chart hit with this anti-monarchist counterpoint to the Jubilee celebrations. It's a snarling document of rage at the idea of a figurehead aristocracy siphoning off money and effort that could be used to improve the lot of the general population. Whether you agree with it or not, you get the message. Radio wouldn't touch it, but it sold very well, reaching #2. Some have theorized that charts were manipulated to keep it out of the top spot. Regardless of whether or not it's true, the very fact that it seems plausible is enough to further the legend.
3 - "Show You the Way to Go," The Jacksons
Michael and bros. had their only post-Motown #1 with this fine bit of soul disco produced by Philadelphia legends Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff. A cool tune that makes one wonders what might have been if the boys had been from, say, New Jersey instead of Indiana.
2 - "I Don't Want to Talk About It/The First Cut is the Deepest," Rod Stewart
Rod's fourth #1 here was a double-sided hit. The A is a Crazy Horse cover, an aching heartbreak ballad. The B can be described the same way, only it was written by Cat Stevens and was most recently a hit for Sheryl Crow. I'm gonna say I like the A better.
And on top 40 years ago was...
1 - "Lucille," Kenny Rogers
The first of two British Number Ones for Kenny was this tale of a guy who can't have a one-night stand with a woman once he learns she left a farmer and their four kids. Good on ya, Ken. But I'm sure you know she probably just went ahead and slept with someone else.
Hope you enjoyed this one. There will be another.
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