Carrying on.
20 - "D-a-a-ance," The Lambrettas
Hailing from Brighton, and named after a popular Italian-made scooter, these Mod revivalists had there second of two Top 40s with this jaunty come-on. They’re like The Jam, only with less on their minds. And that's okay.
19 - "You'll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties," Jona Lewie
The only other hit from the man behind "Stop the Cavalry," was this synthy tune about how bad luck with women causes him to retreat from social situations. But he does find someone in the end, and then learns to mingle. Good song, and one I used to enjoy when I heard it on CFNY's All-Request Nooners in the 90s.
18 - "Midnite Dynamos," Matchbox
The third hit for the Middlesex rockabilly crew was this song about party boys in fancy clothes. More pale imitation of the real, raw stuff.
17 - "You Gave me Love," Crown Heights Affair
Named for their Brooklyn neighborhood, this funk band never cracked the Top 40 at home, but did so three times here, lastly and most successfully with this nice groover about appreciating affection. Superior disco.
16 - "I Shoulda Loved Ya," Narada Michael Walden
Singer/drummer Walden came from Kalamazoo, Michigan. In the early 70s, he was given the Hindu name "Narada" by Sri Chinmoy, a guru popular with many musicians at the time, including Roberta Flack and Carlos Santana. Mainly an R&B star at home, he had more mainstream success here with songs like this okay second chance plea. Clearly a talented musician, but his biggest mark on the industry has been as a producer, particularly his work on Whitney Houston's early records.
15 - "Don't Make Waves," The Nolans
More disco from these sisters. This one's about not wanting your lover to complicate the relationship, but to just let things flow. It's as safe and unchallenging as the title would indicate.
14 - "Fool for Your Loving," Whitesnake
Before the keyboards, power ballads, and Tawny Kitaen, David Coverdale and company were a pretty decent blues rock band in the Bad Company vein, and their first major hit proves it. Your fundamental I'm-not-putting-up-with-your-shit-anymore song. Unfortunately, they re-recorded it in 1989 in their slicker incarnation. Don't even bother.
13 - "Crying," Don McLean
This Roy Orbison cover was Donnie Mac's second U.K. #1, after "Vincent." "American Pie" only hit #2 here. Interesting.
12 - "Let's Go Round Again," The Average White Band
AWB's last major hit was this disco number about wanting to reconcile with an old flame. It's probably the first thing I've heard from them that I'd describe as, what's the word.....Mediocre, that's it.
11 - "Hold On to My Love," Jimmy Ruffin
The Motown vet's Robin Gibb-assisted comeback hit. Still very good, but it sadly didn’t lead to more.
If you read Breitbart, you might think this is a Top 5000, but it's actually just a Top Ten.
10 - "Geno," Dexy's Midnight Runners
Outside of Britain, Kevin Rowland's various lineups of his Birmingham Celtic soul outfit are known solely for 1982's "Come On Eileen." But there was more to theme than that, as evidenced by this #1 smash tribute to Geno Washington, an American expat who became a live soul sensation in 60s Britain. It's slower than the song we all know, but it has a similar ramshackle appeal, and Rowland's singing is just as hard to comprehend. Look it up if you haven't heard it.
9 - "Funkytown," Lipps Inc.
Yes, Britain was one of the 28 countries where this went to #1. It would take over a decade for another song to capture the same feeling, and that song was, you guessed it, "Your Wife Don't Understand You, But I Do" by Lurleen Lumpkin.
8 - "Rat Race," The Specials
Coventry's ska heroes picked up their fourth Top Ten with this message of disapproval for those who get educations just to join the crowd and conform. Catchy and full of attitude.
7 - "Mirror in the Bathroom," The Beat
The band's biggest original hit, and their most familiar song, was this ode to narcissism and egotism. Although since this was the 80s, I'm sure there were people who thought it was about cocaine. This song is a high all its own.
6 - "Over You," Roxy Music
Roxy's first 80s hit was this straightforward song about missing an ex. It's as slick as usual, but it lacks the sophistication, mystery and danger of their best work. Nor is it as heart-on-sleeve arresting as later hits like "More Than This." A disappointment.
5 - "We Are Glass," Gary Numan
Numan's third and final Top Five was this synth rocker about the fragility of life and how it all keeps going as it was when we are gone. I think that's it. It's the first of his other solo hits that I feel rivals "Cars" as a pop song.
4 - "She's Out of My Life," Michael Jackson
The big Off the Wall ballad was Top Five here, but only #10 at home. Perhaps a foreshadow of the greater loyalty the rest of the world would have to MJ in the post-scandal years.
3 - "What's Another Year," Johnny Logan
Born Sean Patrick Sherrard in Australia before being raised in his father's native Ireland, Logan got his biggest break when he won the Eurovision Song Contest for the Emerald Isle with this ballad about a man trying to go on in the years following the loss of his wife. It's a tearjerker, but not too cheesy as to be ridiculous. Logan acts the song competently. Seven years later he'd win Eurovision again with a song he wrote called "Hold Me Now," and five years after that he wrote (but didn’t sing) another winner. Obviously he has a talent for this sort of thing. Good for him...I guess.
2 - "No Doubt About It," Hot Chocolate
The band's first and biggest hit of the eighties was this spooky funk number about a UFO encounter. Sorta catchy, but for some reason, pop songs about this topic are rarely as interesting as the subject matter would suggest.
And the song above all others over there 37 years ago was...
1 - "Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide is Painless)," The Mash
Ten years after Robert Altman's hit movie about combat doctors in the Korean War, and with the sitcom based on the film remaining a hit on TV, the original version of the theme tune with lyrics topped the British charts. The music was composed by veteran composer Johnny Mandel, but the lyrics were written by Altman's 14-year-old son Michael, who was tasked with writing "the stupidest song ever written." I'm not sure if it's that, but the lyrics do have that trying-too-hard-to-be-profound quality of teenage poetry, and the white-bread male chorus that is "The Mash" give them a reading that pitches them in a weird grey area between tragic and ridiculous, which seems apt accompaniment for war. It all works somehow, to the point where royalties from the song made Michael Altman several times more money than his father was paid to direct the film.
Another one done. Before I go, I'd like to recommend a podcast called Off the Chart, which you can stream at https://soundofthecrowd.org.uk. I discovered it while looking for information on Mystic Merlin, and now I'm hooked on their looks back at U.K. Top 100 charts from the 80s. If you'd like to learn about stuff like the only week the band Peter and the Test Tube Babies ever spent in the singles chart, this is the place to go.
Until the next,
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