Finishing.
20 - "So You Win Again," Hot Chocolate
Their only Number One was this midtempo track about losing the game of love. I still think they had better songs, but this convinces me of its quality with every listen.
19 - "Peaches," The Stranglers
The punk pioneers' first hit was this lascivious, organ-driven strut about a man strolling along a beach looking at attractive women. An almost sinister analysis and/or deconstruction of the "male gaze."
18 - "OK," Rock Follies
Rock Follies was a musical TV drama that aired in 1976 and 1977. It focused on the lives of the members of a fictional all-female rock band. Naturally, soundtrack albums were released, and the second of these produced a Top Ten single in the former of this tune about notrying being as easy as target as one looks. The song itself, however, gives the opposite impression; the backing tracks is decent rock, but the lyrics and the vocals are pillowy soft. I'm intrigued by the show now, but more as camp than anything.
17 - "Fanfare for the Common Man," Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Keith, Greg and Carl had already been in successful band's when they united in 1970 form a prog rock band that are equally lauded as innovative pioneers and derided as pretentious navel-gazers. Their biggest U.K. hit epitomizes this. It's a synth-heavy adaptation of a composition by American composer Aaron Copland that in its full version clocks in at nine minutes, three times as long as the original. It's hard to find fault with it, because it achieves its goals. Whether you like what it does is the only question, and me, I like it. I'm not going to run out and explore their catalogue, though.
16 - "Spot the Pigeon EP," Genesis
Still in the early days of the post-Gabriel era, the band had its biggest hit to date with this three-song disc. "Match of the Day" is a jangly pop number about soccer, from the action on and off the field to the fans in the stands. Extensive, but not necessary. Sports songs are hard to do right. "Pigeons" is a song about the scourge of the titular birds and the actions taken to eradicated them, driven by an instrument called the "banjolele." Again, a strange subject that they don’t do much interesting with. And "Inside and Out" is an acoustic track about a man being released from prison after doing time for a rape he may not have committed. Not a great song, but clearly the best here. Although the synth noodling at the end I could have done without.
15 - "Too Hot to Handle," Heatwave
The funk band's second hit was this warning not to stand too close to a flaming groove. And this one would definitely burn.
14 - "Baby Don't Change Your Mind," Gladys Knight and the Pips
The last of their mere two Top Fives over here was this song about wanting your man to resist the temptation of an old flame. Their usual classy soul. Not one of their more familiar tunes in my neck of the woods, but right in the mix with their best,
13 - "Lido Shuffle," Boz Scaggs
The third of just four Brit hits for the big Boz man was soul-rocker about a gambler who doesn't know when to quit. Just a great 70s radio song.
12 - "Got to Give it Up Part I," Marvin Gaye
Marvin's very successful stab at disco was a #1 at home, but only #7 here. A rare whiff for GB. And yes, I feel Pharrell and Robin Thicke got what they deserved for ripping it off.
11 - "Good Morning Judge," 10cc
Over here, these guys are basically known only for "I'm Not in Love" and "The Things We Do for Love," but in their homeland they were much bigger, with eleven Top Tens and three Number Ones. This one's a funky little rock song about a repeat offender. Simple fun. I've started to dig deeper into these guys lately, and I have been well rewarded.
The world doesn't deserve you, Top Ten.
10 - "The Shuffle," Van McCoy
He may have only hit with "The Hustle" at home, but across the pond he found the Top Five again with this tune that's essentially "The Hustle" but with a different beat and even fewer vocals. Still worth a listen, though.
9 - "Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)," Joe Tex
The American soul star's only hit here was this novelty disco record. That's a bit sad. The U.K. often treats R&B artists better than America does. Not sure what made Joe an exception.
8 - "Telephone Line," Electric Light Orchestra
Jeff Lynne's unsuccessful phone call was a transatlantic Top Ten. And deservedly so. Probably the best job they ever did of conveying genuine emotion.
7 - "Halfway Down the Stairs," The Muppets
As popular as it was in America, The Muppet Show was even bigger in Britain, which is also where it was filmed during its entire run. The show even produced a hit single in the form of this adaptation of an A.A. Milne poem. Sung by Kermit the Frog's nephew Robin, its a wistful song about how you can feel as a child that you're watching the world go by and don't have to worry about controlling what goes on in it, I think that's it. Poignant, and its simple staging on the show is just moe evidence of Jim Henson's genius.
6 - "You're Moving Out Today," Carole Bayer Sager
In between writing the 60s hit "Groovy Kind of Love" and her 80s collaborations with Burt Bacharach, New Yorker Bayer Sager teamed up with Bette Midler on this bouncy piano number about kicking a lover to the curb for, among other reasons, coming on to the landlady, having a mangy cat, smoking "funny cigarettes," and possibly committing immoral acts with bread. More fun than I would have expected, and a surprise Uneasy Rider. Midler also recorded a version of this, and I will have to track that down sometime.
5 - "Evergreen (Love Theme from A Star is Born)," Barbra Streisand
Babs' movie smash. #1 in America, only #3 here. The Brits are back on track. This ain't much. She's lucky she was a star already.
4 - "God Saved the Queen," Sex Pistols
The Pistols had already been dropped by two major labels and had scandalized Britain with a profanity-filled talk show appearance when they finally scored a big chart hit with this anti-monarchist counterpoint to the Jubilee celebrations. It's a snarling document of rage at the idea of a figurehead aristocracy siphoning off money and effort that could be used to improve the lot of the general population. Whether you agree with it or not, you get the message. Radio wouldn't touch it, but it sold very well, reaching #2. Some have theorized that charts were manipulated to keep it out of the top spot. Regardless of whether or not it's true, the very fact that it seems plausible is enough to further the legend.
3 - "Show You the Way to Go," The Jacksons
Michael and bros. had their only post-Motown #1 with this fine bit of soul disco produced by Philadelphia legends Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff. A cool tune that makes one wonders what might have been if the boys had been from, say, New Jersey instead of Indiana.
2 - "I Don't Want to Talk About It/The First Cut is the Deepest," Rod Stewart
Rod's fourth #1 here was a double-sided hit. The A is a Crazy Horse cover, an aching heartbreak ballad. The B can be described the same way, only it was written by Cat Stevens and was most recently a hit for Sheryl Crow. I'm gonna say I like the A better.
And on top 40 years ago was...
1 - "Lucille," Kenny Rogers
The first of two British Number Ones for Kenny was this tale of a guy who can't have a one-night stand with a woman once he learns she left a farmer and their four kids. Good on ya, Ken. But I'm sure you know she probably just went ahead and slept with someone else.
Hope you enjoyed this one. There will be another.
Friday, June 16, 2017
Sunday, June 11, 2017
GATW: UKT40 June 18, 1977 Part One
June 1977. Earlier in the month, Britain celebrated Queen Elizabeth II's Silver Jubilee. She had been the sovereign for 25 years. Forty years later, she's still ruling. I'm sure Charles is pleased with that. Let's see if the hit songs of the day have held up as well.
40 - "Dreamin'," Liverpool Express
This band emerged from the ashes of 60s band The Merseybeats, and had a mere three Top 40s in this incarnation, the last being this soft rock ballad about pining for someone. Nice enough radio pop for the time. I'm not saying Brazil had it right when they made it a #1, but it certainly could have been bigger than a mere #40.
39 - "Calendar Song," Trinidad Oil Company
Don't know much about these guys except they were a steel band from Trinidad, and they had a hit with this calypso number on which the lyrics are just the names of the months of the Gregorian calendar. If that's what you're looking for, you'll get it here. And steelpans (the proper name for steel drums) were originally made from oil barrels, which explains the band name.
38 - "Come With Me," Jesse Green
The third of three hits for this Jamaican was this disco come-on. Above average. Sounds like a Barry White production without Barry White.
37 - "Bite Your Lip (Get Up and Dance)," Elton John
Sir Elton's dance rock call for a worldwide boogie festival. Not bad, but Martha and the Vandellas did the same thing so much better.
36 - "Mah Na Mah Na," Pietro Umiliani
This odd little scat number by Italian composer Umiliani, who spent most of his career scoring B-movies, was created for Sweden: Heaven and Hell, a titillating documentary about sex and drugs in Scandinavia. It was catchy enough to get some attention upon release, but it would really become popular after Jim Henson had some of his Muppet characters perform it both on Sesame Street and The Muppet Show. Eventually, the original returned to the charts here and made the Top Ten. You definitely know it. If you're not sure, read the title out loud real fast then say, "Dee Dee, da Dee Dee." Yep, that's it. Did you know it was written to accompany a scene of women clad only in towels enjoying a sauna? Well now you do. You're welcome and/or I'm sorry.
35 - "We Can Do It," Liverpool Football Team
Another chart, another football song. This one's by the team that had just won both the First Division and the European Cup. Singing's not terrible, and the song is decent pop rock based on a Rubettes song called "I Can Do It." Very good, as these things go.
34 - "Gonna Capture Your Heart," Blue
This Scottish band signed to Elton John's Rocket label had their only hit with this soft rock romantic pursuit mission statement. My heart managed to elude it.
33 - "Sheena is a Punk Rocker," Ramones
And now the tale of the four guys from Queens, New York who started playing as loud and fast as they could and in the process pretty much invented punk. They're 1976 debut album didn't do much at home, but when they toured Britain behind it they became sensations and inspirations. The first of their four Top 40s was this song that imagines the comic book character Sheena, Queen of the Jungle finding herself in New York and instead of being drawn to the fashionable discotheques decides to check out the more savage sounds of punk. Catchy, silly, life-affirming. The Ramones aren't just a band, they are one of the great things in life.
32 - "Don't Let Go," Manhattan Transfer
The third hit for these jazzbos was this cover of a Roy Hamilton hit from 1958 that Isaac Hayes would chart with in America three years later. This one has kind ofor a shuffling quality that I find really cool.
31 - "I Can Prove It," Tony Etoria
The only hit for this Welsh soul singer was this bit o' disco in which Mr. Etoria claims that his love is the one thing that’s missing from the wealthy object of his affection's life. I like his voice and the guitar parts. It's all right.
30 - "Nature Boy," George Benson
The second version we've encountered of this Nat King Cole classic is a slow funk groover from the jazz guitar stalwart. I like it, partially because whether he intended to or not, he sounds like Stevie Wonder.
29 - "Be Good to Yourself," Frankie Miller
Born in postwar Glasgow, Miller became a journeyman singer and songwriter who seemed to have a lot of fans in the industry, but that never translated to stardom. He did manage two hits though, the first being this hopeful soul rocker. His voice on this reminds me of Paul Rodgers, only with more character. I'm definitely curious about his other output now.
28 - "Join the Party," Honky
This British funk band's only hit is an energetic and effective call to celebration. Not an original idea, but still irresistible. Track it down and play it as a less clichéd alternative to that Kool and the Gang song.
27 - "Oh Lori," The Alessi Brothers
The biggest success for Long Island twins Billy and Bobby Alessi was this lite-jazz number about idyllic summer romance, complete with bike rides and romps in the meadow. I started out not liking it, but it grew on me with its cheesy charms.
26 - "Disco Inferno," The Trammps
Who knew such beauty could come from combining dance and disaster.
25 - "Hotel California," The Eagles
Their only British Top Ten. Before I went back to this, I wondered if I'd miss it if I never heard it again. Apparently, I would. Surprising.
24 - "Tokyo Joe," Bryan Ferry
The last of eight solo hits the Ferryman had while still in Roxy Music was this slick rocker about intrigue with an Asian lady. A little rawer than you'd expect, but the sophistication is still intact.
23 - "Sam," Olivia Newton-John
One of ONJ's last hits of her classic MOR period before she developed her post-Grease edge. She's just a sweet lonely girl offering comfort to a friend. You can go deeper if you like, but it's all plausibly innocent on the surface.
22 - "You're Gonna Get Next to Me," Bo Kirkland and Ruth Davis
Don't know much about these two except they were American, their record label matched them up, and they had a hit with this smooth slice of disco soul about two people who have no interest in falling in love but may be powerless not to do so with each other. Another wonderful discovery.
21 - "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy," Queen
A Britain-only hit from Freddie and the gang, this is a theatrical declaration of intent to court someone in a traditional style. Although asking someone to "sit on my hot seat of love" might give someone the vapors, my word. It's Queen being Queen, and it's fantastic.
In Part Two: fruit metaphors, bird watching, and an anthem that isn't quite the national one.
40 - "Dreamin'," Liverpool Express
This band emerged from the ashes of 60s band The Merseybeats, and had a mere three Top 40s in this incarnation, the last being this soft rock ballad about pining for someone. Nice enough radio pop for the time. I'm not saying Brazil had it right when they made it a #1, but it certainly could have been bigger than a mere #40.
39 - "Calendar Song," Trinidad Oil Company
Don't know much about these guys except they were a steel band from Trinidad, and they had a hit with this calypso number on which the lyrics are just the names of the months of the Gregorian calendar. If that's what you're looking for, you'll get it here. And steelpans (the proper name for steel drums) were originally made from oil barrels, which explains the band name.
38 - "Come With Me," Jesse Green
The third of three hits for this Jamaican was this disco come-on. Above average. Sounds like a Barry White production without Barry White.
37 - "Bite Your Lip (Get Up and Dance)," Elton John
Sir Elton's dance rock call for a worldwide boogie festival. Not bad, but Martha and the Vandellas did the same thing so much better.
36 - "Mah Na Mah Na," Pietro Umiliani
This odd little scat number by Italian composer Umiliani, who spent most of his career scoring B-movies, was created for Sweden: Heaven and Hell, a titillating documentary about sex and drugs in Scandinavia. It was catchy enough to get some attention upon release, but it would really become popular after Jim Henson had some of his Muppet characters perform it both on Sesame Street and The Muppet Show. Eventually, the original returned to the charts here and made the Top Ten. You definitely know it. If you're not sure, read the title out loud real fast then say, "Dee Dee, da Dee Dee." Yep, that's it. Did you know it was written to accompany a scene of women clad only in towels enjoying a sauna? Well now you do. You're welcome and/or I'm sorry.
35 - "We Can Do It," Liverpool Football Team
Another chart, another football song. This one's by the team that had just won both the First Division and the European Cup. Singing's not terrible, and the song is decent pop rock based on a Rubettes song called "I Can Do It." Very good, as these things go.
34 - "Gonna Capture Your Heart," Blue
This Scottish band signed to Elton John's Rocket label had their only hit with this soft rock romantic pursuit mission statement. My heart managed to elude it.
33 - "Sheena is a Punk Rocker," Ramones
And now the tale of the four guys from Queens, New York who started playing as loud and fast as they could and in the process pretty much invented punk. They're 1976 debut album didn't do much at home, but when they toured Britain behind it they became sensations and inspirations. The first of their four Top 40s was this song that imagines the comic book character Sheena, Queen of the Jungle finding herself in New York and instead of being drawn to the fashionable discotheques decides to check out the more savage sounds of punk. Catchy, silly, life-affirming. The Ramones aren't just a band, they are one of the great things in life.
32 - "Don't Let Go," Manhattan Transfer
The third hit for these jazzbos was this cover of a Roy Hamilton hit from 1958 that Isaac Hayes would chart with in America three years later. This one has kind ofor a shuffling quality that I find really cool.
31 - "I Can Prove It," Tony Etoria
The only hit for this Welsh soul singer was this bit o' disco in which Mr. Etoria claims that his love is the one thing that’s missing from the wealthy object of his affection's life. I like his voice and the guitar parts. It's all right.
30 - "Nature Boy," George Benson
The second version we've encountered of this Nat King Cole classic is a slow funk groover from the jazz guitar stalwart. I like it, partially because whether he intended to or not, he sounds like Stevie Wonder.
29 - "Be Good to Yourself," Frankie Miller
Born in postwar Glasgow, Miller became a journeyman singer and songwriter who seemed to have a lot of fans in the industry, but that never translated to stardom. He did manage two hits though, the first being this hopeful soul rocker. His voice on this reminds me of Paul Rodgers, only with more character. I'm definitely curious about his other output now.
28 - "Join the Party," Honky
This British funk band's only hit is an energetic and effective call to celebration. Not an original idea, but still irresistible. Track it down and play it as a less clichéd alternative to that Kool and the Gang song.
27 - "Oh Lori," The Alessi Brothers
The biggest success for Long Island twins Billy and Bobby Alessi was this lite-jazz number about idyllic summer romance, complete with bike rides and romps in the meadow. I started out not liking it, but it grew on me with its cheesy charms.
26 - "Disco Inferno," The Trammps
Who knew such beauty could come from combining dance and disaster.
25 - "Hotel California," The Eagles
Their only British Top Ten. Before I went back to this, I wondered if I'd miss it if I never heard it again. Apparently, I would. Surprising.
24 - "Tokyo Joe," Bryan Ferry
The last of eight solo hits the Ferryman had while still in Roxy Music was this slick rocker about intrigue with an Asian lady. A little rawer than you'd expect, but the sophistication is still intact.
23 - "Sam," Olivia Newton-John
One of ONJ's last hits of her classic MOR period before she developed her post-Grease edge. She's just a sweet lonely girl offering comfort to a friend. You can go deeper if you like, but it's all plausibly innocent on the surface.
22 - "You're Gonna Get Next to Me," Bo Kirkland and Ruth Davis
Don't know much about these two except they were American, their record label matched them up, and they had a hit with this smooth slice of disco soul about two people who have no interest in falling in love but may be powerless not to do so with each other. Another wonderful discovery.
21 - "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy," Queen
A Britain-only hit from Freddie and the gang, this is a theatrical declaration of intent to court someone in a traditional style. Although asking someone to "sit on my hot seat of love" might give someone the vapors, my word. It's Queen being Queen, and it's fantastic.
In Part Two: fruit metaphors, bird watching, and an anthem that isn't quite the national one.
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
GATW: UKT40 June 1, 1980
Carrying on.
20 - "D-a-a-ance," The Lambrettas
Hailing from Brighton, and named after a popular Italian-made scooter, these Mod revivalists had there second of two Top 40s with this jaunty come-on. They’re like The Jam, only with less on their minds. And that's okay.
19 - "You'll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties," Jona Lewie
The only other hit from the man behind "Stop the Cavalry," was this synthy tune about how bad luck with women causes him to retreat from social situations. But he does find someone in the end, and then learns to mingle. Good song, and one I used to enjoy when I heard it on CFNY's All-Request Nooners in the 90s.
18 - "Midnite Dynamos," Matchbox
The third hit for the Middlesex rockabilly crew was this song about party boys in fancy clothes. More pale imitation of the real, raw stuff.
17 - "You Gave me Love," Crown Heights Affair
Named for their Brooklyn neighborhood, this funk band never cracked the Top 40 at home, but did so three times here, lastly and most successfully with this nice groover about appreciating affection. Superior disco.
16 - "I Shoulda Loved Ya," Narada Michael Walden
Singer/drummer Walden came from Kalamazoo, Michigan. In the early 70s, he was given the Hindu name "Narada" by Sri Chinmoy, a guru popular with many musicians at the time, including Roberta Flack and Carlos Santana. Mainly an R&B star at home, he had more mainstream success here with songs like this okay second chance plea. Clearly a talented musician, but his biggest mark on the industry has been as a producer, particularly his work on Whitney Houston's early records.
15 - "Don't Make Waves," The Nolans
More disco from these sisters. This one's about not wanting your lover to complicate the relationship, but to just let things flow. It's as safe and unchallenging as the title would indicate.
14 - "Fool for Your Loving," Whitesnake
Before the keyboards, power ballads, and Tawny Kitaen, David Coverdale and company were a pretty decent blues rock band in the Bad Company vein, and their first major hit proves it. Your fundamental I'm-not-putting-up-with-your-shit-anymore song. Unfortunately, they re-recorded it in 1989 in their slicker incarnation. Don't even bother.
13 - "Crying," Don McLean
This Roy Orbison cover was Donnie Mac's second U.K. #1, after "Vincent." "American Pie" only hit #2 here. Interesting.
12 - "Let's Go Round Again," The Average White Band
AWB's last major hit was this disco number about wanting to reconcile with an old flame. It's probably the first thing I've heard from them that I'd describe as, what's the word.....Mediocre, that's it.
11 - "Hold On to My Love," Jimmy Ruffin
The Motown vet's Robin Gibb-assisted comeback hit. Still very good, but it sadly didn’t lead to more.
If you read Breitbart, you might think this is a Top 5000, but it's actually just a Top Ten.
10 - "Geno," Dexy's Midnight Runners
Outside of Britain, Kevin Rowland's various lineups of his Birmingham Celtic soul outfit are known solely for 1982's "Come On Eileen." But there was more to theme than that, as evidenced by this #1 smash tribute to Geno Washington, an American expat who became a live soul sensation in 60s Britain. It's slower than the song we all know, but it has a similar ramshackle appeal, and Rowland's singing is just as hard to comprehend. Look it up if you haven't heard it.
9 - "Funkytown," Lipps Inc.
Yes, Britain was one of the 28 countries where this went to #1. It would take over a decade for another song to capture the same feeling, and that song was, you guessed it, "Your Wife Don't Understand You, But I Do" by Lurleen Lumpkin.
8 - "Rat Race," The Specials
Coventry's ska heroes picked up their fourth Top Ten with this message of disapproval for those who get educations just to join the crowd and conform. Catchy and full of attitude.
7 - "Mirror in the Bathroom," The Beat
The band's biggest original hit, and their most familiar song, was this ode to narcissism and egotism. Although since this was the 80s, I'm sure there were people who thought it was about cocaine. This song is a high all its own.
6 - "Over You," Roxy Music
Roxy's first 80s hit was this straightforward song about missing an ex. It's as slick as usual, but it lacks the sophistication, mystery and danger of their best work. Nor is it as heart-on-sleeve arresting as later hits like "More Than This." A disappointment.
5 - "We Are Glass," Gary Numan
Numan's third and final Top Five was this synth rocker about the fragility of life and how it all keeps going as it was when we are gone. I think that's it. It's the first of his other solo hits that I feel rivals "Cars" as a pop song.
4 - "She's Out of My Life," Michael Jackson
The big Off the Wall ballad was Top Five here, but only #10 at home. Perhaps a foreshadow of the greater loyalty the rest of the world would have to MJ in the post-scandal years.
3 - "What's Another Year," Johnny Logan
Born Sean Patrick Sherrard in Australia before being raised in his father's native Ireland, Logan got his biggest break when he won the Eurovision Song Contest for the Emerald Isle with this ballad about a man trying to go on in the years following the loss of his wife. It's a tearjerker, but not too cheesy as to be ridiculous. Logan acts the song competently. Seven years later he'd win Eurovision again with a song he wrote called "Hold Me Now," and five years after that he wrote (but didn’t sing) another winner. Obviously he has a talent for this sort of thing. Good for him...I guess.
2 - "No Doubt About It," Hot Chocolate
The band's first and biggest hit of the eighties was this spooky funk number about a UFO encounter. Sorta catchy, but for some reason, pop songs about this topic are rarely as interesting as the subject matter would suggest.
And the song above all others over there 37 years ago was...
1 - "Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide is Painless)," The Mash
Ten years after Robert Altman's hit movie about combat doctors in the Korean War, and with the sitcom based on the film remaining a hit on TV, the original version of the theme tune with lyrics topped the British charts. The music was composed by veteran composer Johnny Mandel, but the lyrics were written by Altman's 14-year-old son Michael, who was tasked with writing "the stupidest song ever written." I'm not sure if it's that, but the lyrics do have that trying-too-hard-to-be-profound quality of teenage poetry, and the white-bread male chorus that is "The Mash" give them a reading that pitches them in a weird grey area between tragic and ridiculous, which seems apt accompaniment for war. It all works somehow, to the point where royalties from the song made Michael Altman several times more money than his father was paid to direct the film.
Another one done. Before I go, I'd like to recommend a podcast called Off the Chart, which you can stream at https://soundofthecrowd.org.uk. I discovered it while looking for information on Mystic Merlin, and now I'm hooked on their looks back at U.K. Top 100 charts from the 80s. If you'd like to learn about stuff like the only week the band Peter and the Test Tube Babies ever spent in the singles chart, this is the place to go.
Until the next,
20 - "D-a-a-ance," The Lambrettas
Hailing from Brighton, and named after a popular Italian-made scooter, these Mod revivalists had there second of two Top 40s with this jaunty come-on. They’re like The Jam, only with less on their minds. And that's okay.
19 - "You'll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties," Jona Lewie
The only other hit from the man behind "Stop the Cavalry," was this synthy tune about how bad luck with women causes him to retreat from social situations. But he does find someone in the end, and then learns to mingle. Good song, and one I used to enjoy when I heard it on CFNY's All-Request Nooners in the 90s.
18 - "Midnite Dynamos," Matchbox
The third hit for the Middlesex rockabilly crew was this song about party boys in fancy clothes. More pale imitation of the real, raw stuff.
17 - "You Gave me Love," Crown Heights Affair
Named for their Brooklyn neighborhood, this funk band never cracked the Top 40 at home, but did so three times here, lastly and most successfully with this nice groover about appreciating affection. Superior disco.
16 - "I Shoulda Loved Ya," Narada Michael Walden
Singer/drummer Walden came from Kalamazoo, Michigan. In the early 70s, he was given the Hindu name "Narada" by Sri Chinmoy, a guru popular with many musicians at the time, including Roberta Flack and Carlos Santana. Mainly an R&B star at home, he had more mainstream success here with songs like this okay second chance plea. Clearly a talented musician, but his biggest mark on the industry has been as a producer, particularly his work on Whitney Houston's early records.
15 - "Don't Make Waves," The Nolans
More disco from these sisters. This one's about not wanting your lover to complicate the relationship, but to just let things flow. It's as safe and unchallenging as the title would indicate.
14 - "Fool for Your Loving," Whitesnake
Before the keyboards, power ballads, and Tawny Kitaen, David Coverdale and company were a pretty decent blues rock band in the Bad Company vein, and their first major hit proves it. Your fundamental I'm-not-putting-up-with-your-shit-anymore song. Unfortunately, they re-recorded it in 1989 in their slicker incarnation. Don't even bother.
13 - "Crying," Don McLean
This Roy Orbison cover was Donnie Mac's second U.K. #1, after "Vincent." "American Pie" only hit #2 here. Interesting.
12 - "Let's Go Round Again," The Average White Band
AWB's last major hit was this disco number about wanting to reconcile with an old flame. It's probably the first thing I've heard from them that I'd describe as, what's the word.....Mediocre, that's it.
11 - "Hold On to My Love," Jimmy Ruffin
The Motown vet's Robin Gibb-assisted comeback hit. Still very good, but it sadly didn’t lead to more.
If you read Breitbart, you might think this is a Top 5000, but it's actually just a Top Ten.
10 - "Geno," Dexy's Midnight Runners
Outside of Britain, Kevin Rowland's various lineups of his Birmingham Celtic soul outfit are known solely for 1982's "Come On Eileen." But there was more to theme than that, as evidenced by this #1 smash tribute to Geno Washington, an American expat who became a live soul sensation in 60s Britain. It's slower than the song we all know, but it has a similar ramshackle appeal, and Rowland's singing is just as hard to comprehend. Look it up if you haven't heard it.
9 - "Funkytown," Lipps Inc.
Yes, Britain was one of the 28 countries where this went to #1. It would take over a decade for another song to capture the same feeling, and that song was, you guessed it, "Your Wife Don't Understand You, But I Do" by Lurleen Lumpkin.
8 - "Rat Race," The Specials
Coventry's ska heroes picked up their fourth Top Ten with this message of disapproval for those who get educations just to join the crowd and conform. Catchy and full of attitude.
7 - "Mirror in the Bathroom," The Beat
The band's biggest original hit, and their most familiar song, was this ode to narcissism and egotism. Although since this was the 80s, I'm sure there were people who thought it was about cocaine. This song is a high all its own.
6 - "Over You," Roxy Music
Roxy's first 80s hit was this straightforward song about missing an ex. It's as slick as usual, but it lacks the sophistication, mystery and danger of their best work. Nor is it as heart-on-sleeve arresting as later hits like "More Than This." A disappointment.
5 - "We Are Glass," Gary Numan
Numan's third and final Top Five was this synth rocker about the fragility of life and how it all keeps going as it was when we are gone. I think that's it. It's the first of his other solo hits that I feel rivals "Cars" as a pop song.
4 - "She's Out of My Life," Michael Jackson
The big Off the Wall ballad was Top Five here, but only #10 at home. Perhaps a foreshadow of the greater loyalty the rest of the world would have to MJ in the post-scandal years.
3 - "What's Another Year," Johnny Logan
Born Sean Patrick Sherrard in Australia before being raised in his father's native Ireland, Logan got his biggest break when he won the Eurovision Song Contest for the Emerald Isle with this ballad about a man trying to go on in the years following the loss of his wife. It's a tearjerker, but not too cheesy as to be ridiculous. Logan acts the song competently. Seven years later he'd win Eurovision again with a song he wrote called "Hold Me Now," and five years after that he wrote (but didn’t sing) another winner. Obviously he has a talent for this sort of thing. Good for him...I guess.
2 - "No Doubt About It," Hot Chocolate
The band's first and biggest hit of the eighties was this spooky funk number about a UFO encounter. Sorta catchy, but for some reason, pop songs about this topic are rarely as interesting as the subject matter would suggest.
And the song above all others over there 37 years ago was...
1 - "Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide is Painless)," The Mash
Ten years after Robert Altman's hit movie about combat doctors in the Korean War, and with the sitcom based on the film remaining a hit on TV, the original version of the theme tune with lyrics topped the British charts. The music was composed by veteran composer Johnny Mandel, but the lyrics were written by Altman's 14-year-old son Michael, who was tasked with writing "the stupidest song ever written." I'm not sure if it's that, but the lyrics do have that trying-too-hard-to-be-profound quality of teenage poetry, and the white-bread male chorus that is "The Mash" give them a reading that pitches them in a weird grey area between tragic and ridiculous, which seems apt accompaniment for war. It all works somehow, to the point where royalties from the song made Michael Altman several times more money than his father was paid to direct the film.
Another one done. Before I go, I'd like to recommend a podcast called Off the Chart, which you can stream at https://soundofthecrowd.org.uk. I discovered it while looking for information on Mystic Merlin, and now I'm hooked on their looks back at U.K. Top 100 charts from the 80s. If you'd like to learn about stuff like the only week the band Peter and the Test Tube Babies ever spent in the singles chart, this is the place to go.
Until the next,
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