July 30, 1983

Quick one this week.  A lot of overlap from past charts on this week's list, so we'll start with the 40-11, newbies in bold, and then take it from there.

40 - "Fake Friends," Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
39 - "Slipping Away," Dave Edmunds
38 - "Tell Her About It," Billy Joel
37 - "The Safety Dance," Men Without Hats
36 - "The Salt in My Tears," Martin Briley
35 - "Human Nature," Michael Jackson
34 - "The Border," America
33 - "Pieces of Ice," Diana Ross
32 - "Human Touch," Rick Springfield
31- "After the Fall," Journey
30 - "I'm Still Standing," Elton John
29 - "Stop in the Name of Love," The Hollies
28 - "Lawyers in Love," Jackson Browne
27 - "All This Love," DeBarge
26 - "Puttin' on the Ritz," Taco
25 - "I'll Tumble 4 Ya," Culture Club
24 - "Rock n' Roll is King," The Electric Light Orchestra
23 - "Take Me to Heart," Quarterflash
22 - "Saved by Zero," The Fixx
21 - "Too Shy," Kajagoogoo
20 - "China Girl," David Bowie
19 - "Rock of Ages," Def Leppard
18 - "Hot Girls in Love," Loverboy
17 - "(Keep Feeling) Fascination," The Human League
16 - "Cuts Like a Knife," Bryan Adams
15 - "It's a Mistake," Men at Work
14 - "Baby Jane," Rod Stewart
13 - "Come Dancing," The Kinks
12 - "1999," Prince
11 - "Maniac," Michael Sembello

Wow, a whopping five songs I haven't covered yet.  Might as well do them one by one.

Thirteen years after cracking the Top Five with "I Hear You Knocking," Welshman Dave Edmunds had his second and final Top 40 with this keyboard-heavy pop-rocker that was written by ELO's Jeff Lynne.  Not a bad little number about realizing you're lover is about to leave, but it peaked where it is this week, and that seems about right.

Englishman Martin Briley spent much of his career as a session musician, working with artists from Meat Loaf to Donna Summer to Engelbert Humperdinck.  But he did have one moment in the spotlight with this power pop number that bids good riddance to a lover who he has decided is not worth the sodium contained in the lubricant secreted by his eyes.  This one also peaked at the position it is this week, but I feel like this one should have at least gotten within spitting distance of the Top 20.  A cool tune.

Next we have Diana Ross with one of her last pop hits.  This is her only foray into synthpop/New Wave, and contains lyrics like "In the darkness, you're Tunisia."  A strange little experiment, with a suitably weird video.  It's not surprising that it tends not to show up on Ross hits compilations.  It was a misguided attempt at trendhopping.

Then it's Diana's fellow 60s survivors The Hollies with their last American hit, conviently enough a cover of one of The Supremes' biggest hits.  It's a completely unnecessary soft-rock version that seems only to have been recorded to accompany a heavy-handed, anti-nuclear war video featuring children lip synching the record.  They should have just left well enough alone and let "The Air That I Breathe" be their Top 40 swan song.

Last among the newbies is Bryan Adams' second American hit, a swaggering rocker about being romantically betrayed still somehow "feels so right."  I'm not sure that makes sense, but this is a fantastic song.  Adams uses his rasp better than he ever had before or would again, and the "Na na na"s in the chorus work perfectly.  The man has put out a lot of crap and pap over his career, but he has also come up with some shining moments, and this is one.

I now declare the Top Ten officially open.

10 - "Our House," Madness
The British stars' only American Top Ten about growing up in a big crazy family.  Reminds me of my mom, who was the tenth of 11 children.  Unfortunately, none of them were songwriters.

9 - "Stand Back," Stevie Nicks
The gypsy queen of Fleetwood Mac gets tough with a suitor who was a day late and a dollar short.  I like her best in this mode.

8 - "She Works Hard for the Money," Donna Summer
Now this is how you transition into synthpop, Diana.  Keep it simple and tell a relatable story instead of singing about "zebra lightning," whatever that is.

7 - "Wanna be Startin' Something," Michael Jackson
Probably the most underrated of the Thriller hits.  So full of energy.

6 - "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)," Eurythmics
What more can I say?  A masterpiece.  Almost certainly Top Ten of the whole decade.

5 - "Is There Something I Should Know," Duran Duran
Yes there is, Simon Le Bon.  Yacht racing can be dangerous.

4 - "Never Gonna Let You Go," Sergio Mendes
And I'm never gonna listen to this song again, if I can possibly help it.

3 - "Flashdance...What a Feeling," Irene Cara
What the hell does "being's believing" mean anyway?

2 - "Electric Avenue," Eddy Grant
A song with a message that's still fun to listen to.  It definitely deserved to be a Number One, but unfortunately, that didn't happen.  And the main reason it didn't was...

1 - "Every Breath You Take," The Police
Yes, Sting and the boys' big hit about not really respecting a loved one's privacy hogged the top spot for seven weeks, keeping poor Eddy out.   Yeah, it's a good song and all, but Eddy had already rocked down to position number two.  There's no reason they couldn't have let him take it higher for one week.

The NotCaseys were "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" by Air Supply, "Don't Cry" by Asia, "Promises, Promises" by Naked Eyes, and "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler.  And there were two LDDs.  In the first, a girl had Casey play John Cougar's "Hurts So Good," because it was the mutual favorite song of both her and her best friend/next door neighbor.  And in the second, a young woman dedicated Jackson Browne's "Somebody's Baby," to all the men who are too afraid to ask pretty girls out because they assume they're already attached.

Will next week's offering be more substantial than this one?  You'll have to come back in a week to find out, I'm afraid.