Before we finish off '88, let's take a trip back to July 22, 1978.
Andy Gibb was at #1 with "Shadow Dancing." The rest of the Top Ten included "Baker Street," "Miss You," "The Groove Line" and "Take a Chance on Me."...The first newbie shows up at #13 in the form of another lump of lame from Jefferson Starship, "Runaway." Just when I thought I'd covered them all. Hopefully the nightmare is over now...The Atlanta Rhythm Section are here with their best hit, the rocking ode to surviving the world's chaos for one more day, "I'm Not Gonna Let it Bother Me Tonight," this week's #21...Eurodisco group Love and Kisses had their biggest hit with the song at #22, "Thank God It's Friday," the title track to a film about a night at a dance club. I like the brief contributions of the guy who sounds like Barry White...Another song with the same title as the movie it came from follows at #23, Steely Dan's slick ode to radio "FM (No Static at All)." I wonder how enthused AM stations were to play this record...And the streak of movie-title songs continues at #24 with Roberta Flack's version of the Joe Brooks-penned ballad "If Ever I See You Again" from the Joe Brooks-directed film that starred...Joe Brooks! And Shelley Hack, perhaps Charlie's worst Angel!...No, Barbra Streisand's entry at #25, "Songbird," wasn't the name of a movie, or even in a movie. And it also wasn't as good as Fleetwood Mac's song of that name. But much better than Kenny G's...Jackson Browne is at #27 with a live version of Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs 1960 hit "Stay," on which he asks his audience to stick around because "the promoter don't mind, and the roadies don't mind." It's much better when heard right after "The Load-Out"...At #30 we find Wings' "I've Had Enough," a spirited rocker on which Paul McCartney sound refreshingly defiant. Good on you, Sir Paul...Todd Rundgren is at #32 with his last major solo pop hit, the achingly, unconfortably beautiful breakup ballad "Can We Still Be Friends"...Bruce Springsteen scored his second Top 40 single with this week's #33, the desperate tale of young lust "Prove it All Night." Familiar ground for the Boss, but still great...And Kenny Rogers had his third pop Top 40 with this calypso-tinged tune about cruising for chicks in bars, "Love or Something Like It," this week's #34. I don't remember it, but now I consider it one of his best. Trashy, singalong fun...But this week's spotlight falls upon...
26 - "King Tut," Steve Martin and the Toot Uncommons
The comedy writer and stand-up had become a sensation due to his appearances on Saturday Night Live, and his popularity even extended to pop radio with this, his only hit. It's a novelty song inspired by the populatity of Treasures of Tutankhamun, an exhibit of artifacts from the tomb of Ancient Egypt's "boy king" that was then tourning the United States. The song, of course, is far from historically accurate (Tutankhamun almost certainly wasn't "born in Arizona," and there is no concrete proof that "he ate a crocodile." Though I suppose the question of whether or not "he could've won a Grammy" is a subject for reasonable speculation). But it's fun, silly, and the disco breakdown in the middle always brings a smile. A fitting tribute to the man who "gave his life for tourism."
And now, after I correct my assertion yesterday that Olympia Dukakis was Michael Dukakis' sister (she's actually a cousin), we return to complete our look at this week in 1988
20 - "The Colour of Love," Billy Ocean
19 - "Lost in You," Rod Stewart
18 - "I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love," Chicago
17 - "Do You Love Me," The Contours
16 - "Paradise," Sade
The second half kicks off with a ballad on which Billy Ocean wonders what hue romance comes in. That's a good question. Could it be red? Blue? Hot pink? Or maybe it's one of those fifty shades of grey everyone's talking about. Regardless, pondering that puzzle is much more interesting than listening to this song.
Rod Stewart is here with the first single from his last studio album of the 80s. It's a solid rocker about being separated from a lover. When he returns, Rod promises her "I'm gonna make love to you like fifteen men!" I'm not sure that's a good thing, but all in all, this is one of his better hits from this decade.
Next are Chicago with one of their crap power ballads from the post-Cetera years. The title explains what the song's about, and I don't care to say anything else about it, so let's move on.
Then it's the Contours, one of Motown's earliest signings, with a song that hit #3 upon its initial run in 1962, then returned to the charts after its inclusion in the movie Dirty Dancing. It's a fun little number about a guy who hopes he can win back his lady now that he can successfully perform the Mashed Potato, the Twist, and other popular steps of the day. It deserved the revival.
Finishing off this quintet is Sade with a tropically uptempo ode to a fine romance. You know what? There might be a case to be made that Sade is the female Barry White. She's definitely a mood-setter, if you get my drift.
15 - "Just Got Paid," Johnny Kemp
14 - "I Don't Wanna Go On with You Like That," Elton John
13 - "Nite and Day," Al B. Sure!
12 - "Parents Just Don't Understand," DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
11 - "1-2-3," Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
This section opens with Bahamian Johnny Kemp's biggest hit, a swingingly funky ode to the possibilites of a Friday night. Cool, joyful, irresistible.
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Elton John had his highest-charting hit of the 80s with this uptempo popper about not wanting to be one of many in a lover's affections. This is another case of "I liked it better then than I do now." Still, a worthy hit.
Next is Al B. Sure!, back from last time, and still cool with rain sex. Not a bad song, but not one I ever need to hear again.
Then it's the duo of Jeff Townes and Will Smith with their first hit, an immortal rap about teenage problems like having your mother buy you clothes that aren't in style anymore and joyriding in your parent's new sports car and getting caught speeding while in the company of an underage girl. It was fun then, and it retains its charm to this day. Of course, Will Smith is now not only a star in his own right, but his son has had his own hit movie and his daughter recorded a popular song about whipping her hair back and forth. As for Jeff, he's a pretty successful and respected producer. I don't know what his kids have done, though. Or if he even has any. Oh, and in a less-than-crowded field, I'm giving Jazzy and the Prince this week's Uneasy Rider.
This bunch is anchored by Gloria E. and company with their frothy dance tune about getting a shy guy to come around. It's fine, but nothing worth writing much about.
Let's Top Ten again, like we did last summer
10 - "Rush Hour," Jane Wiedlin
Wiedlin, the former Go-Gos guitarist, had her most successful solo single with this bubbly pop-rocker that compares driving to another activity that I'll leave to your imagination. It's very good, but my favorite of her solo songs is the 1986 single "Blue Kiss." That deserved to get much higher than #77.
9 - "Sign Your Name," Terence Trent D'Arby
The expat American's second and last Top Five in the country of his birth was this soulful seduction ballad. "Slowly we make love, and the earth rotates to our dictates." Hawt, as the kids say.
8 - "Mercedes Boy," Pebbles
The biggest hit for this pop-soul singer is this slinky dance number in which she offers a young man a ride in her luxury car. But their are, shall we say, strings attached. This theme has been explored before, but usually, the genders are reversed. And that adds a cool point or two to an already above-average score.
7 - "Make Me Lose Control," Eric Carmen
Yeah, you know how I feel about this guy after he left the Raspberries. And this overblown cheese about listening to oldies and driving around with a lady named Jennifer is one of the reasons why. The only thing this might make me lose control of is my temper.
6 - "Hands to Heaven," Breathe
These somnambulant British pop boys somehow managed five U.S. Top 40s, the first and biggest of which was this sleep-inducing ballad about having to leave a lover and how hard it is and stuff. I hear no passion, no urgency, nothing that makes me care about this song at all. The worst kind of radio filler.
5 - "The Flame," Cheap Trick
After hitting the Top 40 four times in 1979, these Rockford, Illinois rockers were unable to scale those chart heights again for nearly a decade. Then their label brought them this power ballad to record for their Lap of Luxury album. Apparently, when he first heard it, guitarist Rick Nielsen hated it so much he took the demo tape out of the player and stomped on it. But eventually the group agreed to record it, and not only did it break their hitless streak, it made it all the way to #1. The band tries, but they can't disguise the fact that this is just a formulaic commercial love song. But I don't fault them. They've done a lot of way better stuff in their career, and they did deserve to have a Number One, so I'm glad they got it.
4 - "Roll With It," Steve Winwood
The British rock vet scored his second and last #1 with this tune that hearkens back to the R&B he recorded with The Spencer Davis Group. It's not as good as those hits, but it was a refreshing sound to hear on the radio at the time.
3 - "New Sensation," INXS
The third Top Five from their breakthrough album Kick was this dance-rocker about embracing life and stuff. The guitar riff that drives this is earwormy to the point of annoyance, but still, good song.
2 - "Pour Some Sugar on Me," Def Leppard
The Sheffield pop-metal machine hit the U.S. Top Five for the first time with this stomping on which Joe Elliott tries to top Steven Tyler in the dirty-sounding-nonsense-lyrics department. And he at least equals the Aerosmith frontman with lines like "Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love/Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up." Big dumb fun.
And the Number One song 24 years ago was...
1 - "Hold On to the Nights," Richard Marx
The Chicago popster picked up his first Number One with this sappy-ass ballad that killed any residual goodwill he had with me from "Don't Mean Nothing." The only joy I get from this song is that when he sings "Hold on to the memories," it almost sounds like he's singing "Hold on to the mammaries." Yes, sometimes I do have the sense of humour of a 10-year-old boy. But don't we all?
This week's NotCaseys were "Love Bites" by Def Leppard, "Kokomo" by The Beach Boys, "Groovy Kind of Love" by Phil Collins, and "Every Rose Has its Thorn" by Poison. And there were two LDDs. First, a girl sent out "Stuck With You," to the Huey Lewis-loving family she used to babysit for until they had to move away. And later, another girl dedicated Gloria Loring and Carl Anderson's "Friends and Lovers" to the longtime male best friend she was now beginning to fall in love with.
Okay, that's done. There will be more in time.
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