This week we go back to the last month of 1982. In the news, 61-year-old dentist Barney Clark became the world's first artifical heart recipient. In my life, I was three months into Grade 6, learning in an unusual way with some unusual (and wonderful) people. And in popular music...
40 - "Let's Go Dancin' (Ooh La La La)," Kool and the Gang
39 - "Shock the Monkey," Peter Gabriel
38 - "You Got Lucky," Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
37 - "What About Me," Moving Pictures
36 - "A Penny for Your Thoughts," Tavares
35 - "Everybody Wants You," Billy Squier
34 - "The Other Guy," The Little River Band
33 - "Hand to Hold On To," John Cougar
32 - "On the Wings of Love," Jeffrey Osborne
31 - "Baby, Come to Me," Patti Austin with James Ingram
We'll start with funk groups. Kool and the Gang are back with a mildly grooving jam about the pleasures of "reggae dancing." About in the middle of their 80s output in terms of quality. And Tavares had their last pop hit with this ballad about wanting to know where one stands with one's partner. It expands the popular title saying by adding "a nickel for a kiss" and "a dime if you tell me that you love me." I wonder how those prices have been affected by 29 years of inflation.
A big rock contingent in this group. Ex-Genesis singer Peter Gabriel had his first American hit with this spooky synth-driven tune that's not about animal cruelty, apparently. It has something to do with jealousy and/or obedience experiments. Whatever it's about, it's eerily catchy, and apparently a stripper danced to it at Lilith Sternin's bachelorette party. No, that's not the only Cheers episode I know, but it's the only one so far that relates to this subject matter. Tom Petty and his Florida crew are here with this unaccountably angry-sounding number about how fortunate his lover is that he found her. "Good love is hard to find," Petty sings. I'm sure that's true, but does that mean you have to wield it like a weapon? An interesting question. Billy Squier scored his third Top 40 single with this driving number about someone who gets a lot of attention and enjoys it quite a bit. There's just a cool dumb fun vibe about Squier's music that can't be explained. Obviously "The Stroke" is the best of the lot, but this one's probably a solid second. And the man born John Mellencamp followed up "Jack and Diane" with this little ditty about how no matter who you are or what your station in life is, you need some comforting company once in a while. Not one of his bigger hits, but I have it on the upper end of his hits. It has a simple charm.
Two Australian soft-rock groups are present. Sydney's Moving Pictures had their only American hit with this big ballad about people left behind by the inequities of society. Not a great song, but moving in its way. And The Little River Band show up again, this time with a midtempo number that begs a woman not to leave him for another, because this man "won't be around to talk to our kids." I'm not sure why he wouldn't be if he's with their mother, but I'm not going to spend too much time poking logic holes in mediocre songs by sub-mediocre bands.
This section closes with two R&B ballads. "On the Wings of Love" wasn't Rhode Islander Jeffrey Osborne's biggest hit, but it's probably his most enduring, and will live on as long as there are weddings. I see its appeal, but it's not for me. It will not be on the hypothetical Glovehead nuptial playlist. And jazz vocalist Patti Austin had her only pop hit with this smoldering duet with James Ingram that would go all the way to #1. Not a big fan of this song, but I think if the right two people covered it, I'd like it better. Don't ask me who those people would be, though.
30 - "I'm So Excited," The Pointer Sisters
29 - "Be My Lady," Jefferson Starship
28 - "You Can't Hurry Love," Phil Collins
27 - "Africa," Toto
26 - "I.G.Y. (What a Beautiful World)," Donald Fagen
25 - "Rock the Casbah," The Clash
24 - "You and I," Eddie Rabbitt with Crystal Gayle
23 - "Missing You," Dan Fogelberg
22 - "Love Me Tomorrow," Chicago
21 - "The Look of Love," ABC
We'll start with The Pointer Sisters and the original chart run for their hit about losing control and liking it. This was as high as it got this year, but two years later, it would return and crack the Top Ten. In any year, it's exuberant cheese that's fun to hear every once in a while just to be reminded of its existence.
MOR makes up half of this list. Jefferson Starship are here with bland balladry pepped up just a bit by the presence of late addition Mickey Thomas. Also, Marty Balin is gone, and Grace Slick was back. I think I even hear her in the background on this. Still not much to speak of, though. Toto had their only #1 with this tune about what was once known as "the Dark Continent." It throws in references to Kilimanjaro and the Serengeti, but really, those seems just like exotic trappings to disguise a simple "I'm coming back to you, baby" song. But that doesn't mean it isn't catchy as hell. Country stars Eddie Rabbitt and Crystal Gayle are here with a decent duet about sharing love and stuff. Nothing to really talk about. Neither is Dan Fogelberg's entry here about missing someone. It's a little peppier than most of his stuff, but it still sucks. But I'm sure he doesn't care, especially this month as all the royalties from the airplay "Same Old Lang Syne" is getting right now roll in. And Chicago were in the heart of their crap period as they came out with this midtempo blandwich about dealing with a partner's romantic insecurities. Or something. This song's not good enough for it to matter to me.
Two solo hits by lead singers of major bands are in this mix. Genesis' Phil Collins picked up his first U.S. Top Ten with this cover of a 1966 Supremes charttopper about romantic patience. It's pretty faithful, and I'm sure many were surprised to hear how natural he sounded in this setting. And Steely Dan's Donald Fagen with a slick vision of the planet's future, which, according to this song, includes underwarter trains, solar-powered cities, and spandex jackets for all. Compared to some other such forecasts, this sounds pretty good. Oh, and the "I.G.Y." in the title refers to the International Geophysical Year, an eighteen-month international scientific project between 1957 and 1958 highlights included the launch of Sputnik and the creation of NASA.
We finish the first half with two British bands. London punk legends The Clash had by far their biggest American hit with this Middle Eastern-themed dance-rocker about people defying an authority figure's ban on rock and roll. Its use of words like 'muezzin," "bedouin" and "minaret" made it stand out on the radio, and therefore it takes this week's Uneasy Rider. Oh, and as a kid, I seemed to think it was about Don Cornelius shooting the guy who sang "The Banana Boat Song." I used to sing the choruses at the end as "He shot Harry Belafonte (It's the guy from Soul Train!)" And ABC cracked the U.S. Top Twenty for the first time with this stylish hit about the desperate search for affection. I especially like the "Hip hip hooray!" and "Yippie-yi-yay"s at the end.
Tomorrow: cardiac arrest, carnal therapy, and appreciation of male pulchritude.
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