The wheel lands this week on 1975. Ah, the Ford years.
40 - "Don't Tell Me Goodnight," Lobo
39 - "I'm Not Lisa," Jessi Colter
38 - "When Will I Be Loved," Linda Ronstadt
37 - "Shakey Ground," The Temptations
36 - "Cut the Cake," The Average White Band
35 - "The Immigrant," Neil Sedaka
34 - "Hijack," Herbie Mann
33 - "Beer Barrel Polka," Bobby Vinton
32 - "Sister Golden Hair," America
31 - "Love Won't Let Me Wait," Major Harris
We start with male-sung MOR. Lobo had his next-to-last hit with a song I came in halfway through. Don't think I missed anything. Neil Sedaka's somewhat overwrought tribute to new arrivals in the "mystical, magical land called America" and the less-than-hospitable treatment they sometimes receive was inspired by the U.S. goverment's politcally-motivated attempt to deport John Lennon. Sedaka even had "Dedicated to John Lennon" printed on the record label, which Lennon was touched by. Bobby Vinton had his last major pop hit with a disco-tinged reworking of a 1927 Czech party number. Not quite a "barrel of fun." Maybe a quarter-barrel. And America scored their second and final #1 with this uptempo song about about a pretty blonde. This is an America song that I actually like. Yes, there is one.
The two female vocalists in this batch both have Waylon Jennings connections His longtime wife was the former Miriam Johnson, and she's here with her only major pop success: this beautiful ballad about a woman who tries to convince her lover to forget about the ex that left him and appreciate the love that he has. Just from the voice, I'd say the guy doesn't deserve what he's got. And Linda Ronstadt followed up her first #1, "You're No Good," with this Buddy Holly cover that fell one spot short of the top. Waylon, you'll remember, was in Buddy's band at the time of the plane crash known as "The Day the Music Died," but gave up his seat at the last minute.
The rest is R&B, soul and disco. The Temps scored their last Top 40 with a song about life going to shit after the end of a relationship. But it makes this predicament sound like fun. The Average White Band followed up "Pick Up the Pieces" with their only other Top Ten. This one's doesn't quite match the funk level of the earlier hit, but it's pretty good. Plus it has lyrics. Not great lyrics, but lyrics. Jazz flautist Herbie Mann got on the disco bandwagon and made his biggest dent on the pop charts with a song whose title comes from the practice of commandeering commercial aircraft for commercial purposes. I know that always makes me feel like dancing. And ex-Delfonic Major Harris had his one pop hit with one of the great "I gotta have you NOW!" ballads. Me, I'm still waiting, whether love will let me or not.
30 - "Shaving Cream," Benny Bell
29 - "Young Americans," David Bowie
28 - "Bad Time," Grand Funk
27 - "Amie," The Pure Prairie League
26 - "Autobahn," Kraftwerk
25 - "Shoeshine Boy," Eddie Kendricks
24 - "No No Song," Ringo Starr
23 - "Lady Marmalade," LaBelle
22 - "Thank God I'm a Country Boy," John Denver
21 - "Only Yesterday," The Carpenters
We'll begin with two records that were extremely different from everything else on the radio at the time. Benny Bell made a career in the 30s and 40s by recording naughty novelty records for cocktail bar jukeboxes (sample titles include "My Grandfather Had a Long One" and "I'm Gonna Give My Girl a Goose for Thanksgiving."). But the mainstream paid him no mind until his signature tune got airplay on the Dr. Demento radio show. The song's popularity grew, and it was re-released. In case you haven't heard it, it's a jazz tune with a waltz tempo whose verses tell tales where the last word would seem to be a certain synonym for feces. But instead of the dirty word, Benny sings "sh...aving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen." I don't think you'll be surprised to learn that it's receiving this week's Uneasy Rider. And four spots above this sound of the past is the sound of the future in the form of the only U.S. hit by German electronic music pioneers Kraftwerk. The song in its original form is over 22 minutes, but it was edited down to three for radio. It was concrete proof that synthesizers had come a long way in the short time since "Popcorn." I remember when spoiled young aristocrat Baron von Wurtzenburger was in such a great hurry to see this group perform in Stuttgart that he was rude to the American agents who helped recover his family's stolen paintings from Abe Simpson. Oh, and they're not singing "Fun, fun, fun on the Autobahn," they're singing "We drive, drive, drive on the Autobahn" in German.
I'll put three of these songs in the "rock" category. David Bowie followed up his U.S. breakthrough re-release of "Space Oddity" with the soulful title track to the Young Americans album. It's notable for many reasons, among them asking the question "Do you remember your President Nixon?" just months after his resignation, and the fact that future R&B superstar Luther Vandross sang backup on it. Grand Funk's last big hit is disappointing to me, in that it's so slick and polished a piece of midtempo lite-rock that I barely recognize them. The grimy underbelly they showed on "We're an American Band" was completely gone. A sad way for them to go out, in my humble opinion. And Ringo returns from our last visit to this time period with his declaration that when it comes to recreational mind-altering substances, he's too old for this shit. No "Snookeroo" this time. Didn't miss it at all.
Three hits of the easy stuff in this batch. The Pure Prairie League were named after a fictional anti-alcohol group from an Errol Flynn Western, and this sleepy song about a girl they like doesn't sound like any potent potables were consumed during its creation. John Denver had one of his biggest hits with this rollicking live version of this hoedown-ready breakdown about the joys of rural living. Can't help but love it. And indeed, "life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle." And this effort from the Carpenter siblings finds Karen in a good mood for once, feeling hopeful "since I threw my sadness away." It's good to hear her happy, considering what the future would hold.
We close with some upbeat R&B. Ex-Temp Eddie Kendricks is here singing about a lowly polisher of footwear, assuring him that he can work his way up in life and reminding him not to forget where he came from. Well-worn ground, but delivered in a cool package. And LaBelle are here on their way down the list with their French come-ons and unforgettable nights of pleasure involving "mocha chocolatta." Sexxxxay.
Tomorrow: Dancing, walking, and our two favorite Barrys.
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